The Lights That Guide You Home
by missmelsie
Summary: 8 years ago, Haley James helped Nathan Scott get his life together... now, hers is falling apart. When the two become unlikely roommates, will Nathan be enough to help her the way she helped him?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone (if anyone is reading this!). This story is a massive departure from the last few one-shots that I've posted, but it's been in my head for some time and I really wanted to get it out and try writing something a little deeper. I'm nervous as anything about posting this, so your feedback is greatly appreciated and will help me know if I should continue this or not. If anyone is interested, I've been working on several other fics (smutty one-shots, amongst other things) that I hope to complete, it's just been a really busy time for me and I haven't had a lot of time to write. I do, however, hope to complete and post them at some point! A good friend has told me several times to stop overthinking what I write (thank you, Jessie!) so here we are… I hope you enjoy this.**

"Mr Scott, there's a call for you on line 2. It's your brother."

Nathan Scott looked up from the contract he was reading, surprised. Although they were close, those were words he rarely heard from his secretary as Lucas hardly ever called him at the office. Picking up the receiver, he heard the noise of a busy New York street through the line.

"Hey Luke, what's up?"

"Nathan, hey. Listen man, I need some help." Lucas Scott's voice overrode the traffic sounds over 600 miles away.

"You need my help? What could a New York Times Best-selling author want from a little old sports agent in North Carolina?"

Lucas chuckled at the accolade, "It's for a friend, actually. You still living in that big house of yours all by yourself?"

Nathan arched an eyebrow, even though he knew his brother couldn't see it. "Has my mom been asking you to find out if I have a girlfriend again?"

"No, I promised you I wouldn't talk to Deb about your love life again!" Lucas exclaimed, chuckling again.

Nathan laughed, too. "I'm going to have to trust you ... yes, I'm living alone. Why? What's going on?"

Lucas sucked in a breath. "Look, a friend is going through a really tough time right now and needs a place to stay for a while... rent free."

There was a pause on the other end of the line while Nathan's brain processed his brother's request. "You want some random person to come and live with me… in my house… for free?" he reiterated, to make sure he understood.

"It's not just some random person... It's Haley."

"Haley James?" The pitch of Nathan's voice rose in surprise.

"What other Haley's do you know? Wait, don't answer that" Lucas shook his head, talking as he navigated the foot traffic on the busy street, mentally envisioning the list of girls' names his former NBA superstar brother had in his contacts list.

"Hey, come on, man. You know it's not like that anymore" Nathan defended himself, knowing exactly what his brother was thinking. "Why does Haley James need a place to stay in Charlotte?"

Lucas paused for a moment, as Nathan listened to the loud honking of horns through the phone. When he spoke, his voice sounded a lot more serious than it had been. "Let's just say she's going through a really rough patch at the moment. I think she just needs some time away from Tree Hill."

Again, Nathan was surprised. "Haley James is still in Tree Hill?" Of all his friends from high school, he hadn't expected that Haley James would return to the small town after college - Stanford, if he remembered correctly. Not that he could really call Haley a friend, Nathan thought ruefully, shaking his head at memories of the Nathan Scott that ruled Tree Hill High. He had been a jerk, a bully, and back then he never really gave the plain girl who tutored him twice a week a second thought outside of the their sessions. It wasn't until he had long left the halls of his high school that he realized that Haley James had taught him more than just the finer points of differential calculus.

"Look man, you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important" Lucas cut through Nathan's thoughts, avoiding his question. "She's just been having a hard time over the last few months, she needs a break. I think getting away might do her some good, but I'm travelling so much lately, she might feel really alone in a big city. Charlotte's not too far. It'll only be a couple of weeks, tops."

Nathan's thoughts flicked to Lucas, and the journey the two brothers had taken that led to them being close now, able to pick up the phone and ask the other for a favor. Nathan had never thought about it until college, how instrumental Haley had been in progressing their brotherly relationship. If he were honest with himself, and he was a lot more now, Nathan never thought about anyone but himself until college. Life had changed so much and Haley had played such a huge part in that change - she was just oblivious to all of it, because he never had the chance to thank her.

As if Lucas could read Nathan's mind, he spoke up. "You said you owed her, man."

Nathan sighed. "You're right, I do. I owe her a lot. Tell her she can stay with me. As long as she needs."

Nathan heard Lucas exhale a sigh of relief. "Thanks, bro. I appreciate it. I'll call you back with details later."

Before Nathan could say goodbye, his brother had hung up, leaving the loud dial tone in his ear. He put the receiver down and sat back in his plush office chair, swiveling to face the view out of the window, lost in thoughts of the girl he hadn't seen in 8 years: Haley James. 

* * *

Lucas had acted fast after calling his brother, and a few hours later Nathan's phone pinged with a text message detailing Haley's flight details for the following day, with a message saying Lucas would be flying in early the morning after to "help Haley settle in".

Nathan wasn't entirely sure why he found himself filled with nerves as he pulled his Range Rover into a parking space at Charlotte Douglas Airport. Maybe it was over the speed of everything happening, or that he really didn't know what constituted as "having a hard time", causing one of the most confident and adjusted people he had come across to need to leave their home town for a break. Or possibly because he was minutes away from cohabiting with a girl he barely knew and hadn't seen since high school.

Woman, Nathan corrected himself. Haley James was 26 now and, like himself, had probably changed considerably since their Tree Hill High days. To what degree, Nathan wasn't quite sure. Unlike him and his peers, Haley had always been mature and capable - the one everyone looked at and was certain they would have no trouble achieving whatever they set their mind to. 18 year old Haley James didn't need to undergo a dramatic maturity process to become a respectable human being, she already was one.

As Nathan waited by the gate that had signaled that Haley's plane had landed, die-hard Bobcats fans approached him for handshakes, photos or just a slap on the back and a sympathetic comment. Nathan had quickly become accustomed to the adoration ever since he was first drafted to the NBA, but the looks of pity and the apologies still took some time to get used to. Nathan knew they meant well - he had been instrumental in the Bobcat's success for the last 2 seasons following a hugely rewarding rookie year with the Seattle Sonics - but the fans' support wasn't going to fix his knee and was never going to get him back on the court again. Nathan wasn't bitter, but the constant reminder often caused more pain than the career-ending injury that happened nearly a year ago.

A small figure appeared amongst the crowd of passengers streaming past him, and Nathan had to do a comedic double take to check if she was the one he was waiting for. Although 8 years older, Nathan had been confident that he'd recognize his old school tutor, but now he felt as doubtful as he did tackling Haley's quizzes on French pronouns. As the girl slowed to a stop in front of him, Nathan felt his eyes widen as he sucked in a surprised breath.

Although he spent the majority of his high school years with his eyes fixed at a lower level than the eyes of his female classmates, even Nathan noticed the change in Haley's dark brown orbs. He remembered how Haley's eyes were dark, but they always held a sparkle, as if the brown irises were struggling and failing to contain a shimmering, golden pool beneath them. Sometimes they shone in amusement and occasionally Nathan saw pride beaming out when he finally grasped a particularly difficult concept during their tutoring sessions, but regardless of the emotion, they always sparkled with life. Today, he saw a flat, one-dimensional darkness looking up at him, underlined by deep blue shadows that was in stark contrast to the paleness of her face. Her dark blonde hair fell limply around her and despite the warm weather, she wore an oversized grey sweatshirt, which bunched around her arms that were wrapped around herself. Nathan noticed that she was considerably thinner since their high school days, her stomach caved in deeply from the generous curve of her bust (that he had definitely noticed back in high school) and the roundness of her hips was less. Despite Nathan's fondness for girls with curves and assets, he knew Haley didn't look healthy. She looked hollow, empty.

He realized then that he had grossly underestimated Lucas' definition of "having a hard time".


	2. Chapter 2

Nathan couldn't remember a more awkward car trip in his life, and that included all the ones he had to share with his father following a loss or inevitable disappointment after a basketball game. Haley hadn't spoken one word to him since her arrival; her eyes continued to gaze disinterestedly around her, anywhere but Nathan. She had one small bag that she declined Nathan's offer to help carry with a shake of her head, and had responded to his constant and uncomfortable commentary about their surroundings and other inane subjects with the occasional listless nod. There was a sick feeling in the pit of Nathan's stomach that he didn't like, caused by the unfamiliarity of his old tutor's appearance and the uncomfortable atmosphere between them. They had never been friends, but Haley had never behaved less than friendly, open and talkative around him during her time as his tutor.

Nathan's mind whirred with the possibilities of what had happened to Haley to cause such a change. He had expected some change in her since high school. Hell, he himself was hardly recognizable. Back then, Nathan's life revolved solely around getting out of the prison his father had built around him. Dan Scott was determined for his youngest son to be the greatest basketballer to come out of the state, at any price. The bullying, abuse and pressure had hardened Nathan's core, causing him to be a selfish bully who treated most people with contempt. Nathan knew now that the people he called friends back in high school were simply cronies, excited to be chosen to tag along for the ride that came with being wealthy, good-looking and popular. In reality, Nathan was truly alone in his fight against the world.

Lucas had entered his world before Haley had. Of course, Nathan knew about his father's bastard son, but it was only when Lucas began to threaten Nathan's future in basketball did Nathan - and, of course, Dan - take notice of the older son. Nathan was sure that Lucas had told his best friend, a short girl with mousy brown hair, about the variety of ways the Ravens had tormented him once he'd joined the team - and who led their attack. At first, Nathan couldn't care less. He was untouchable, he had earned his rightful place on the team and no unwanted boy who couldn't even afford the latest Jordan's was going to take that away from him. It was only when Nathan was ordered to pick up his grades or he'd be thrown off the team did he come face to face with Haley James. He had no idea that meeting her would be the start of the formation of a small but quiet army of support behind him, of which she was the General.

That's what made Nathan cringe, after everything that had transpired since high school. Haley had surprised him by how she treated him. She never threatened to treat him differently from any other person she tutored, and none of them were making her best friend's life miserable. She met with him twice a week, listened to everything he had to say about school, basketball, his life, and quietly offered a supportive comment or suggestion. She slowly but steadfastly helped him improve his grades and his attitude to the world around him. At the time, she was the only person that ever treated him with respect and kindness - that he didn't deserve. In return, Nathan had acted as if the girl was invisible outside of their tutoring sessions, as if she didn't exist. When Nathan graduated, knowing he was weeks away from moving his life to a future at Duke University, he didn't hear Haley's cheers and applause, louder than anyone else's when his name was called. He remembered yawning through her valedictory speech - not that there was anything boring or disinteresting about it, but it was just how he viewed everything related to high school at the time. After the ceremony, when his mom had asked him where Haley was, so that she could personally thank the person solely responsible for helping him pass and graduate, Nathan was confused and clueless as to why Haley deserved the gratitude. The world of Nathan Scott revolved on the Nathan Scott axis around the Nathan Scott sun, and stayed that way for several weeks after high school graduation. It was only after that fateful night, the day before he was due to set out for Duke, did the orbit suffer a juddering blow.

Nathan's thoughts were broken as he turned into a street and pulled into a wide driveway in front of an expensive, yet modest-looking home. Haley's head was turned slightly to look out the window, but she made no acknowledgement of them coming to a stop. Nathan's inhalation sounded loud in the silence of the large car, and when he slapped his thighs awkwardly, it echoed between the windows.

"So ... here we are. Home sweet home."

Haley's head moved in a minute nod and she slipped out of the Range Rover. Nathan jumped out, grabbing her bag and leading the way to the front door.

"So, I know Lucas always makes it sound like I live in a real baller's mansion, but it's really not much..." Nathan explained awkwardly, as they entered his house. "I mean, I guess it's big for just one person and there's lots of luxuries, but the decorator did a great job on making it feel homely and ..." he trailed off, cringing at how Real Estate Agent-y his voice sounded and the fact that Haley's radio silence was even more painful in the house than it was in the car.

"Um, so the living room, kitchen and everything is down here" Nathan gesticulated. "I'll show you where your room is"

He led the way up the stairs and stood on the landing, waiting patiently for Haley to follow. She kept her arms wrapped around herself and she seemed in such a daze that Nathan wondered if she fell asleep on the plane and was currently sleepwalking since her arrival.

"So there's three spare bedrooms, but this is the biggest so I guess you may as well take this one" He nudged open a door to their right to reveal a large room, empty except for a queen-sized bed and wooden dresser. "The bathroom is right next door, and that's my room over there" Nathan pointed a little way further up the hall, where a door across the hall was ajar. "I've got my own bathroom attached, so this one is all yours" He shifted awkwardly on his feet. "Um... is there anything else you need?"

Haley shook her head, and for the first time lifted her face to look at Nathan. He couldn't get over how exhausted she looked, and dismissed his sleepwalking theory. There was no way this woman had slept lately.

"No. Thank you, Nathan."

Her voice was so soft and the sound of it was so unexpected that Nathan took a moment to collect himself. He stood, helplessly, as Haley carried her bag into the room and the door shut quietly behind her.

* * *

Lucas let himself into Nathan's house early the next morning, surprised to see his brother already awake and sitting at his kitchen counter with his head in his hands. At the sound of Lucas's footsteps, Nathan's head shot up.

"Lucas! What the hell?!"

"What?!" Lucas exclaimed, surprised as Nathan moved quickly around the counter until he stood in front of him, making the most of the extra inch or two of height he had on his older brother.

"What?! Don't 'what?!' me!" Nathan whisper-yelled. "What the hell is going on with Haley?"

"Is she here? Is she ok?"

"Of course she's here, Luke, but she is _not_ ok! What has happened to her?!"

Lucas expelled a sigh and leaned back tiredly against Nathan's refrigerator. "Look, bro, I don't know if I should say ..."

"Don't pull that bullshit with me, Lucas." Nathan spit out. "You said she was going through a rough patch and needed a break. The woman I picked up from the airport looked like she needs to go through a rough patch to have a break from whatever shit storm is pissing down on her. If you want me to let her keep staying here, you better tell me what's going on."

Concern filled Lucas' eyes. "I haven't seen her in a couple of months. What did she look like? What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything! She hasn't spoken a single word to me since she arrived, except to say she wasn't hungry for dinner. She's been up in her room the entire time. She looks like she hasn't eaten or slept in a month. She looks like a corpse."

Lucas flinched. "Yeah..." he drew out, running a hand wearily through his dark blonde hair. "You're probably right about that."

"Lucas..." Nathan started, angrily, but was cut off by his brother raising a hand to calm him down.

"Ok look, I haven't seen her, I didn't know how bad things were until I called her the other day."

"Well you have to tell me what's going on."

Lucas sighed, hesitating as he collected his thoughts. "She lost her job a few weeks ago. And she's taking it pretty hard."

Nathan inhaled slowly and let it out, trying to find the words to explain to Lucas how empty Haley had looked, how something didn't feel right. He knew that Haley was ambitious and driven, but he also knew that it surely couldn't be that hard for her to find a new job, or that she would let it take over her life the way it clearly had. That couldn't be the problem. Then again, he thought to himself, he couldn't call himself the authority on Haley James. He hardly knew her.

"Look, I'm taking her to the doctor this morning and we'll go from there, ok?"

Nathan looked up, startled. "The doctor? But..."

Lucas raised his palms up as he cut his brother off. "Look, just let me take her to the appointment, I'll talk to her and help her get back on her feet.. She just needs a place to stay. No job, no income, right? Everything will be ok."

Lucas looked like he was trying very hard to convince himself, as well as Nathan, and Nathan didn't get the chance to protest as Lucas headed upstairs to find his best friend. Nathan was left alone in the kitchen, thinking that the way Haley looked right now, there wasn't anything that could possibly make everything ok.

 **AN: Thank you so much for the incredible support! Every review, follow and favorite has really made my day, you have no idea! I know this chapter was another short one but I promise that things will pick up soon. Clearly, Lucas isn't being truthful with Nathan, but more will be revealed in the next chapter when we find out what has been happening with Haley. Thanks again!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, a massive thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed this story! I am nervous as anything about this chapter, I hope this isn't a massive let down. I've re-written this about 6 times so I think it's time I just get it out there. I really hope you like it, your feedback is appreciated! Thanks! x**

Lucas and Haley were gone nearly 2 hours and Nathan didn't think he had moved in that time. He jumped a mile when his front door opened and hurried to look busy, which turned out to be futile as Haley walked past him and headed upstairs without a glance. Despite her brief appearance, Nathan could see that her eyes were red and wet, she had been crying.

"So?" Nathan questioned, when Lucas entered the kitchen.

Lucas let out a heavy sigh, glancing around the kitchen as he tried to avoid Nathan's eyes. "Uh, look ... I may not have been entirely truthful with you before."

Nathan simply looked at his brother with raised eyebrows; Lucas understood the expression and sat down at the counter with another sigh. "Yes, she did lose her job, but it's not just that."

Nathan's expression didn't change as he waited for Lucas to continue.

"Her mom died a couple of months ago... of cancer. They got the diagnosis just after her father died - actually, Lydia had found out before but had kept it from everyone... she passed away nearly a year after Haley's dad did" he admitted.

The younger Scott released a heavy breath that he didn't even realize he had been holding. Poor Haley, losing both her parents so close together, so young. Not that Nathan listened much back then, but she always used to ramble about her big family, how close they were and the craziness that ensued with her 6 siblings and Lydia and Jimmy James at the helm. Nathan himself could never understand, having been raised as an only child to two very cold and hostile parents, but his ability to sympathize was greater now. He could really feel for Haley and understand the reasoning behind her sad and haunted look. He remained silent, watching Lucas, who finally seemed to want to talk.

"I went to the funeral and that was the last time I'd seen Haley in person. I swear I didn't know how bad she looks now. She was holding up as well as could be at the funeral, arranging everything, running around after family..." Lucas rubbed at his eyes in tiredness. "I knew she'd take it hard, I knew it'd been a long road looking after her mom, but I never thought...

"After the funeral, everyone took off. Her siblings all have their own lives and their own families and Haley was left alone. She'd been in LA, teaching at a school there, but before she was about to take leave to come home and take care of her mom, there was some drama and she lost her job over it. Some new principal had taken offense to something Haley had published in the school paper, they basically forced her to quit. She was devastated, she loves teaching, and those kids are her life ..." he trailed off.

Nathan leaned against the counter his brother was slumped over and folded his arms. Lucas eventually continued, his voice weary and sad. "Anyway, she moved back here, nursed her mom until she passed away... I thought she'd go back to LA, try and find another job and move on, but ...there was this guy she had been with for a couple of years, pretty serious relationship - I'd met him once and he seemed like a real jerk, but Haley had been happy... anyway, apparently he'd called and broke it off with her..."

"So she loses her dad last year, then her job, then her mom, then her boyfriend..." Nathan summed up, feeling that painful twist in his stomach that he'd felt at the sight of Haley's sad and haunted eyes.

Lucas nodded, slowly. "I'd been trying to keep in touch, but since her mom's funeral my editors have had me flat out working. The deadline for my book was weeks ago. I finally called her the other day - it was only then she'd told me about her job and Chris breaking up with her. I didn't even realize she'd been in Tree Hill the whole time. Then she finally admitted to me that she hadn't been feeling well. She said she'd been crying a lot and feeling really down ... I thought it was understandable considering what she's been through, but then ..."

"But then...?" Nathan prompted, when Lucas trailed off once more and buried his head in his hands again.

Lucas raised his head and his look of anguish pierced his brother. "She told the doctor today that she'd been so moody and had no energy. She didn't even see the point in getting out of bed, so most days she didn't. She'd lost all the joy and inspiration she had ... she said... she said she couldn't even remember how to be happy... that everyone she's ever loved just leaves her... God, I had no idea!"

He slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter. "I'm her best friend and I had no idea! I just thought she needed a bit of a break, she'd been through a lot and it might be good for her to get away from Tree Hill. Take some time until she found a new job. I thought she'd be ok, I never thought..."

Nathan was about to prompt his brother again, getting frustrated over the usually articulate writer being unable to finish his sentences, when Lucas continued quietly, "I never thought she'd feel this bad."

Nathan stood quietly for a moment processing everything Lucas had said. "You know, none of this sounds unreasonable considering what she's been through, Luke. It's pretty understandable. What did the doctor say?"

"He diagnosed her with depression. He's prescribed medication and he's given her a plan he wants her to start following" Lucas replied, digging a piece of paper out of his pocket and scanning it. "She has to see a therapist once a week and start making steps to try and enjoy the things she used to love doing. He wants her to make time each day to exercise and make sure she's eating healthy ... you know, stuff like that." He looked up. "I guess the therapist will take it from there."

There was silence in the kitchen as Nathan mulled over his brother's words. It didn't seem fair to him that someone as kind and selfless as Haley should have to deal with so much. Haley had always come across so strong in high school, before life had found a way to chip away at her eternal optimism and ability to inspire others. Nathan knew he deserved everything that had happened to him, and more, but Haley? It really wasn't fair.

"Luke" Nathan began hesitantly. "I gotta ask... am I really the best person for her to be staying with while she's going through all of this?"

Lucas looked up into the blue eyes so like his own. "Of course you are. Look at everything you've been through, what you've lost ... and look at where you are now. I can't be there for her the way she needs, Nate. She needs stability and time, I just don't have that right now. I wish I could, but I can't ignore this book any longer. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, and I don't know how it happened, but you're one of the strongest, most stable people I know, little brother. I think you're the perfect person to help her. More than you know."

"Well, we know how it happened..." This time Nathan was the one guilty of trailing off.

The two brothers sat in silence for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, though undoubtedly similar ones. Nathan recalled the first shift of change in their relationship - in a basketball match early in their senior year season. Lucas had not only taken Nathan's position in the team but had just been appointed co-captain with Nathan, their coach's idea of a sick joke to get them to work together. There was less than 3 seconds left on the clock and Lucas was poised to make the game-winning shot. Without warning, and against Coach Durham's instructions, Lucas passed to Nathan, allowing him to take a significantly more difficult, riskier shot to win the game and take the glory. After the match, an irate Nathan charged down Lucas, demanding to know what he was playing at by allowing him to take the shot - having never given nor expected to receive kindness from his estranged brother. Lucas had shrugged wearily, simply said "Haley said you might need the break", and walked off. At the time, Nathan remembered being hit with fury, that Lucas dared to insinuate that Nathan needed help to look good on the court, or wanted Lucas do him a favor, or that his new tutor had been talking about Nathan behind his back. But when his father had met him afterwards, full of praise and happiness (and mockery and contempt for the son he had abandoned for not being good enough to make such a simple shot) Nathan had cooled off pretty rapidly. It had only been the previous week when Nathan had dragged himself to the tutoring center and ranted at his brother's best friend over how his father had been treating him since Lucas had joined the team and stolen his thunder. That Haley had listened to the pressures being put on Nathan's young shoulders, and cared enough to try and help was a novel experience to him. It had been the start of a long road of the two Scott brothers working together and helping each other out - all facilitated by Haley James.

"Anyway, Haley agreed to come here. When I said I'd asked you about her staying here, she didn't say no." Lucas pointed out.

Nathan nodded, slowly. "And this plan, that the doctor wants her to follow, that's something I need to be involved with since she'll be living with me" he stated, knowing there was no question about it.

"Look, bro, you don't have to do a lot. The therapist will be the one monitoring her progress, it'll just be really helpful if you're here to support her. You'll be at work most of the day, anyway, it's just, you know, see if you can see any improvement, talk to her about how she's feeling, that sort of thing." Lucas rushed out, anxious that his brother would back out of his offer to help if he sensed things would be too difficult. "She really doesn't have anyone at the moment, and my editors are on my back about getting this third book finished like, last week. I have a contract, man, I'm so tied up at the moment, and then there's the book launch and press tours ... but I'll check in as much as possible, I promise."

Nathan looked his brother in the eye, as if searching through the history that lay between them. "Of course I'll support her, Luke." Nathan said softly. "I'd be nothing without her. I'll be here to help her, whatever she needs."

Two brothers looked at each other, both undoubtedly sure that Haley's influence on their lives were on the other's mind.

"Is there anything else I need to know?"

Lucas suddenly looked uncertain and nervous, and the feeling in the pit of Nathan's stomach returned. "Look, I'm sure it'll be fine... I mean, she said it wasn't that and I'm sure she's right, but, just ... maybe... keep her away from the pool for a while, ok?"

Nathan's head turned towards the part of his property that housed his swimming pool, alongside his own, full-sized basketball court. Based on what Lucas had been telling him about Haley, it didn't take long for the gears to turn in his head and click into place. He turned back to his brother, horrified.

"Are you serious?! Lucas, it's one thing to try and help and support Haley if she's depressed, but there is no way I can handle that if she's suicidal!"

"I am not suicidal!"

The loud, feminine voice caused the two men to jump guiltily and face the source of the sound. Standing in the doorway, with her hands on her hips and fury flashing across her face, was Haley herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a quick note to point out the obvious: there are some words in this chapter that aren't mine - they belong to Mark Schwahn. You may recognize them from 7x22, as well as some dialogue of Nathan's from the original script that never made it to air, but I've always loved (thanks to the world of Twitter for allowing me a glimpse of the script!)**

" _I am not suicidal!_ "

Haley didn't know how she'd ended up in Nathan Scott's kitchen, screaming at the two brothers about the state of her mental health, but it felt like par for the course of her life lately. Any control that she ever felt like she had over her own life had ended over a year ago.

She felt like she could finally understand that saying her father always quoted. When a younger Haley, full of hope and ideas, carefully and methodically mapped out her future and announced her 10 and 20 year plans over the dinner table, Jimmy James would look at his youngest child with mirth sparkling in his blue eyes and remind her that, "Man plans, God laughs."

Not that her father had been a particularly religious man, no. Nor did he want to discourage his youngest from using her intelligence to its full potential; he'd simply discovered how the ship of life could have its course mapped out by the most knowledgeable of captains, only to be caught up in Mother Nature's stormiest.

Haley wondered what Jimmy had been planning for that spring Sunday morning when God had taken him from his family, right in the middle of a hardware store. The heart attack had been so severe that the paramedics hadn't even been able to keep him alive until they reached the hospital. Haley wondered if Jimmy had been looking down on her and thinking of that old Yiddish proverb when, 2 days after his funeral, Lydia James admitted to her children that her doctors had found a tumor her pancreas, which had been detected too late to prevent the cancer spreading throughout her body. There was a furious rage that boiled in Haley's body when she thought of anyone - especially God himself - laughing as Haley packed her bags to return to Tree Hill to be with her mother after months of treatment had proved futile and all that could be done was "to make her as comfortable as possible".

So Haley was done with planning. There was no plan when she hurled herself into the swimming pool at her former family home, delighting as the icy coldness pierced her senses and invaded her body, the most alive she had felt in a year since the first of her two beloved and adored parents had left her. There was no plan when she agreed to her best friend's suggestion for her to get away from Tree Hill for a while, with no job or boyfriend in LA to return to. There was no plan as she stood in the middle of an expensive, state-of-the-art but rarely used kitchen, screaming at two men - one of whom was her oldest and closest friend, the other someone she hadn't seen in the flesh since her high school graduation.

That was Haley's life now. No planning, but a determination to feel, and to live.

Lucas jumped to his feet, his hands held in front of him as if Haley was threatening to take his life rather than her walking in on him talking about her taking her own.

"I know ... I know what you said, Hales, I was just ..."

"I am not suicidal," Haley repeated, turning her fiery brown eyes away from her best friend and towards his brother. There was some desperate urge inside of her to convince Nathan, to make him understand. "I wasn't trying to take my life when I jumped into that pool - it was just the opposite. I just wanted to feel something... like, alive, I guess."

Nathan nodded slowly, his eyes locked onto hers. "And did it make you feel alive?"

The doctor had asked her the same thing this morning, and Haley felt that neither he nor Lucas had believed, or understood her answer.

"No ... but it made me want to."

Nathan was still nodding and Haley was surprised to see the look of understanding she so desperately needed to see written across his face. Before anyone could speak, a loud ringing cut through the room, followed by Lucas' swearing.

"Dammit, I'm sorry ... I really have to take this. I'm sorry, guys." He apologized, grimacing at the illuminated screen of his phone. Haley watched him as he hurried out down the hallway for privacy. When she looked back at Nathan, his eyes were still on her.

"You know" he started, slowly, "I threw myself in the pool once. After my accident."

Haley swallowed hard, trying to calm her breathing. Nathan's blue eyes and the look that was in them kept her riveted to his face. Something about that look told her that he had never spoken those words out loud before and it caused her heart rate to treble.

"I stood up and I fought back. You will, too."

Haley's efforts to calm herself were futile as Nathan's words caused tears to build up past the dam of her eyelids. She dug her fingernails into her palm, hoping to distract her body with the painful sensation. She hated how her body betrayed itself these days; she hardly ever cried, but now she wondered if 26 years' worth of tears were trying to escape. She cried over everything, particularly when her brain reminded her that she was trying to be strong.

"Do you think I like feeling like this?" She cried, defensively. "Do you think I enjoy having no control over my life, my emotions?! I'm sick of it!"

Nathan nodded again. "I know you must be. It just takes time - I know I don't have the same experience of loss as you, but I've had to learn a whole new reality. That's sort of what you're doing, too. And I can tell you, it starts from the moment you pull yourself out of that pool."

Haley bit down on her bottom lip, hard, as she thought back to the icy water seeping into her skin, but how much warmer it felt when she speared her body upwards into the freezing winter night. There had been a dull, yet euphoric, thrumming throughout her body as her senses were shaken awake from the numbness she had encased them in. She couldn't explain it, what it had done to her to finally be able to feel something for the first time in months, but she knew that feeling was responsible for telling Lucas she needed help when he had phoned the following morning. That feeling had admitted to him how alone she had felt. That feeling had accepted the invitation to stay at Nathan's house, regardless of how unexpected it had been. No planning, just feeling.

Lucas re-entered the kitchen, angrily stuffing his phone away in the pocket of his jeans. "I'm so sorry, guys, but I need to head back to New York right away." He looked up, startled at the sight of the fresh tears smeared across Haley's face. It was a testament to their friendship when Lucas recognized that the slight turning of her head was Haley's way of telling him that there was no substantial reason for her tears, that asking after her would simply start further waterworks, so he continued talking after the brief pause. "I was hoping to stay the day but they want me back immediately. I've got to catch an earlier flight, I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, man, we understand. We're going to need credits at the start of your book, but we understand." Nathan joked lightly, and Haley was surprised at how he, too, knew not to make a big deal over her tears. She was fairly certain that Nathan Scott wasn't the sort of man who took crying women well, but his uncomfortable joking – and awkward, constant talking that he had done after he had picked her up from the airport yesterday – was appreciated.

Lucas gathered up his messenger bag and wrapped his arms around Haley, holding her tightly to him as he had when he returned to Tree Hill for her mother's funeral. He pulled away and held her upper arms tightly as his eyes locked with hers. "PR and Marketing have book tour dates for me that are set in stone, but I promise you, I'll come and visit before then, ok? And I'm always on the end of the phone, Hales. Always."

Haley nodded. "I know, Luke. Thank you."

Lucas held on a moment longer, before dropping a kiss on her forehead and turning away.

"I'll walk you out." Nathan stood up and Haley watched as the two brothers left the kitchen and headed to the front door, presumably using the opportunity to talk about her.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on inflating her lungs before pushing all of the air out in an exhale, practicing some relaxation technique she had read about. She felt the pressure behind her eyes decrease and her heart rate settle. When she was sure the tears had stopped for the time being, she went to the sink, splashing cool water on her face and scrubbing away her earlier emotions.

Nathan returned and smiled easily at her, once again respecting Haley's unspoken desire not to make a big deal of her crying. It amazed her that the selfish, immature boy she used to tutor in high school had grown into the man who had such an ability to care for other people. She had been too numb, too overwhelmed, to think much about what Nathan would be like as an adult when she told Lucas she'd stay with the younger Scott brother. High school Nathan has been pretty unpleasant, although never drastically so to her, and Haley was, at times the only one, who had an unwavering belief that he could become a great man in the right circumstances.

"I, um … I owe you an apology."

"What for?"

Haley's fingers pulled at the sleeve of the shirt she was wearing as she chewed on her lip in an effort to prevent any traitorous tears from escaping.

"I know I was a mess yesterday … I still am, I mean … but… it was so overwhelming. Coming here, staying with you … it was a lot to sort of process. So I'm sorry that I didn't really say anything to you." The words spilled out in a rambling jumble. "I didn't mean to be rude, I really appreciate you letting me stay here … it was just a lot to … you know," she finished, feebly with a half shrug of her shoulders.

Nathan shrugged, nonchalantly, as he dropped some leaflets and pill bottles on the counter; presumably Lucas had given him her prescriptions and the generic pamphlets about grief and depression that the doctor had handed them.

"It's no problem. I know we're not in high school anymore, but it was a bit Freaky Friday for me to be the one rambling awkwardly while you stayed silent," Nathan smiled again to show he was joking before his eyes turned serious and searched her dark ones. "I was worried because I didn't know what was going on, Lucas didn't tell me anything until just before. Don't feel like you have to talk to me if you don't want to."

Haley didn't reply as Nathan's eyes dropped to scan the note that was already left there, the doctor's messy scrawl outlining some basic steps that were supposed to miraculously cure Haley of the dark weight that had settled upon her. She gritted her teeth and internally shook her head - she knew that the negative and sarcastic thinking wouldn't help her, that she had to start making conscious steps forward, as hopeless and mundane as they appeared to her, but everything just felt so hard at the moment.

"So, the doctor thinks you should start exercising every day." Nathan said, picking up a blue and white leaflet from the scattered pile. "The mental health benefits of exercise - the exercise prescription for depression, anxiety, stress and more!" His blue eyes looked up at Haley as he read the title in a joking, game show host-style voice. "Well, that should be easy for me to help you with that. I go for a run every morning before work, you could join me?"

"You don't have to do this for me, Nathan." Haley told him. "Just letting me stay here is enough. It's not like I can do anything to repay you right now."

"Oh, don't worry about" Nathan replied, lightly. "It says here that you should eat a healthy, well-balanced diet." He looked up from the piece of paper. "I can't cook to save myself, so looks like you're house chef while you're here."

Haley took in his easy, crooked smile, one she remembered so vividly from their teenage days. The jaw was a lot squarer, the crinkles around his eyes were slightly more pronounced, but it was almost a comfort to her to see the familiar smirk amongst the chaos of her life now.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?"

Nathan's smirk deepened. "Oh Haley, I'm glad you asked. I've been waiting a really long time to tell you."


	5. Chapter 5

**I have to apologize for a small oversight back in chapter 1 - if I'm setting this story in the present day, then technically the Charlotte Bobcats would have changed back to the Hornets while Nathan was playing for them. Please allow me a little artistic license and let's all pretend they're still the Bobcats, ok? Thanks!**

Haley followed Nathan out of the kitchen and down the hallway, a confused frown creasing her face.

"Where are we going?"

"Memory lane," Nathan replied, leading Haley into a room at the back of his house.

Haley stepped inside, glancing around. To the right of the room was Nathan's computer and desk, next to some shelves and a filing cabinet. In front of Haley were half a dozen or so heavy-looking weights next to a black, padded bench with a silver bar attached. On the wall to her left were several large, framed basketball jerseys. Haley, not the most knowledgeable of sports fans, recognized the white and red of the Charlotte Bobcats inside one of the frames. Framed photos decorated the room, and from a quick glance Haley could see several of Nathan and Lucas, Nathan with Deb and several team photos.

"I wouldn't have any of this if it weren't for you, Haley." Nathan spread his arms wide and sat down in tall chair by his desk, swiveling to face Haley.

"What? A home gym?"

Nathan smiled, indulgently. "I know you know this story - better than most, actually - but I'm hoping you'll give me the chance to tell you myself. It would mean a lot."

Haley remained silent, but raised her eyebrows slightly to indicate that Nathan should continue

"The night before I was meant to leave for Duke, the guys and I - " Nathan spotted his former tutor's smile and knew she approved of his correct use of grammar - "had a bit of a going-away party. We had a keg, a few of the old cheerleaders were still in town, it was shaping up to be a good night. We were outside some bar, Tim was trying to talk our way in when some guys from Oak Lake walked past."

Nathan took a deep breath and Haley wondered how many times he had told this story. She knew he had told Lucas, and the police, obviously, but she was fairly certain that she was one of the rare audiences to his retelling of this night.

"I don't even remember what we said to each other - it never took much - but Damien West lunges at me and punches are being thrown around left and right." Blue eyes met brown as Nathan looked directly at Haley before saying, "next thing I knew, West is crashing through the front window."

Gripping the arm rests of his chair, Nathan looked away before continuing with his memory from that night 8 years ago. "We bailed, obviously, because that's how much of a dick I was back then, but the cops were knocking at the door first thing the next morning with an assault charge. A shard of glass had gone through West's back and he couldn't move his legs...I hadn't even made a statement to the police before Duke called to rescind my scholarship. West was meant to be a Blue Devil, too...

"Dan, being Dan, absolutely lost it - I thought he'd be done for assault by the time he was through with me, but he still managed to sweet talk the Judge. I got really lucky, Haley; I was sure I headed for a jail sentence but Dan somehow managed to get the Judge down to a fine and community service... anyway, by the time I'd finished that version of hell, I was stuck in Tree Hill, no job, no money, no scholarship. Dan wouldn't speak to me, Mom had gone back into rehab and everyone I knew was off at college, getting on with their lives... Here, there was no one. After what I'd done and the guy I'd been, I wasn't expecting any help, but Karen Roe was probably one of the last people I thought I'd hear from..." Nathan looked up again to Haley's dark brown eyes. "But then she called..."

Haley felt her lower lip disappear between her teeth as she remembered a phone call that had happened 8 years ago, just before the one Nathan was talking about in the present day. Karen had been pleasantly surprised to hear from Haley nearly three-quarters through her first semester at Stanford, but that surprise had been nothing compared to how she felt once Haley had asked for an unexpected request.

* * *

 _"You want me to give him a job? Nathan Scott? You can't be serious, Haley."_

 _"I know, Karen, I know ... it's a lot to ask. But he's just finished his community service, he's got no one in Tree Hill on his side... all that free time with nothing to do but think isn't going to do him any favors, is it? You don't have to let him serve anyone, just hire him to do the heavy lifting, kitchen work, just something..."_

 _"Haley, I know the boy is having a hard time right now, but I don't think it's something I should get involved in. And I'm sure I'm the last person he would want to work for, anyway."_

 _"You know that's not true," Haley had pleaded. "You know things got a lot better between Nathan and Lucas even before we finished high school. Lucas even called him last week to see how he's doing... Look, Karen, I don't know his plans for college but he can't do anything until next semester, anyway. He just needs a chance, one person to believe that he's a good guy, to help him out. To keep him away from Dan..."_

 _Haley unknowingly held her breath as she waited out Karen's unbearable long pause on the other end of the line._

 _"It sounds to me like he's already got one person on his side..." Karen's voice sounded more relenting._

 _"And why is that?" Haley interrupted. "You're the one who told me to give him a chance and tutor him last year. You told me to help him then, I'm just asking you to help him now. Please. For me?"_

 _If Karen was surprised that Haley James was begging on behalf of Nathan Scott, she had hidden it in her voice well. "Alright ... I'll see if I can put him to work around the cafe, maybe Keith can give him some hours at the garage... but he gets ONE chance, you understand?"_

 _Haley's relief was so strong that she didn't even think it was worth informing her best friend's mother that she hadn't even spoke to Nathan since they threw their caps in the air and went their separate ways several months ago. While she knew that Lucas had spoken to him maybe twice since then, including their call last week that Haley had been filled in on, she also knew that Lucas was still reluctant to put himself out to help his half-brother._

 _"He's gotta learn, Hales. At least he still has a chance of playing basketball somewhere, some day. Damien West is lucky he can walk. And that's Nathan's fault."_

 _"I know that, Luke" Haley had protested, knowing how sensitive her friend was around the subject of basketball, having discovered a genetic heart disease that prevented him from pursuing college ball. Due to the medical chaos that happened, Lucas had missed out on the opportunity to apply for other scholarships and was currently studying literature at a tiny community college in NC, waiting for the opportunity to transfer to a more recognized school later in the year. He had not been impressed at all that Nathan, whom he was slowly but surely building a friendship with, had thrown his dreams and opportunities out the window when he threw Damien West through one. "But he's not in a place where he can do it alone. He needs the support, some positive guidance. You said yourself that having him stuck in Tree Hill with Dan isn't going to help him."_

 _Lucas had been reluctant to talk about Nathan further that night on the phone, and it wasn't until she spoke to him a few weeks later did Haley learn how persuasive she could be._

* * *

Haley's eyes blinked repeatedly as she staggered out of the haze of memories, realizing that Nathan was still talking.

"Karen was amazing, Keith, too. They gave me as much work as they had, kept me busy. The pay was lousy but it was more than I could have dreamed. I was able to avoid my dad - not that it was hard, he was done with me by that point - and they really took me in. I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with them and Lucas; they didn't really give me a chance to think about what a mess I'd made of my life, of all the opportunities I'd be given that I'd wasted, just because I gave in to my damn temper." Nathan's piercing sky blue eyes flickered over Haley's face, watching her closely. "They made me feel like I wasn't alone."

Nathan's words twisted Haley's heart as she chewed on her lower lip. She quickly deflected them, trying hard not to let them pierce her further. She knew that he was trying to empathize with her current situation, but she didn't want to think about that right now. She was too emotionally drained.

Nathan stretched his long legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles and using his conjoined feet to swing his chair back and forth before speaking again.

"Lucas and I were closing up at the cafe one day, a few days before his break ended, when Whitey walked in. He said he had some news for the both of us... he said that the athletic department at Gilmore, the school Lucas was at, had talked him out of retirement. Turned out that their basketball team was so bad they had managed to get finances from another department just to lure him over to coach. He said he was starting straight away and his first act as Head Coach was to appoint a new assistant coach - the first time a student had been offered the job - and a new Point Guard..."

The image of the old man, who always had a soft spot for Haley, surprising the two brothers was so powerful that Haley's mouth couldn't help but twist up in a small smile. "The Scott brothers were going to Gilmore together," she remarked, quietly.

Nathan smiled happily at her, like the smile Haley used to give him when he worked out a difficult concept in his English homework. "The Scott brothers were going to Gilmore together," he confirmed.

The tone of his voice changed slightly, piquing Haley's attention as carried on with his story.

"The funny thing was, despite all the kindness and generosity people had shown me, the chances they had given me – undeservedly, of course – it wasn't until we were leaving for Gilmore did I actually bother to thank Karen for helping me out. I'd known for months that, if it weren't for her offering me a job, that spiral of being the same, selfish, pathetic guy I'd always been probably would've gotten worse, I'd get into nothing but more trouble. And it wasn't until I thanked her did she tell me that it wasn't her idea to help me … "

Despite knowing that was coming, that mentioning her involvement would have been unavoidable, Haley felt a rush of heat in her face. She knew that at some point, Nathan had found out what she had done - it wasn't like she intended it to be a secret. It was just surprising that after so many years, she felt self-conscious over her actions. She focused on a particularly fluffy cloud that was being pushed past the window as Nathan continued.

"And it wasn't for weeks into the season, after Whitey and Luke had started building us up as a team and we started having some success that I bothered to thank Coach for taking a chance on me. I mean, he was finally rid of Nathan Scott, there was no reason for him to want to recruit me to his new college team. I wouldn't have… And I don't think there was a team in the country that wanted me back then… but Whitey had. And you know what was really funny?"

Haley, her face still pink, looked back at Nathan's large figure in the chair as he waited expectantly for her to answer what apparently was not a rhetorical question.

"What was funny?"

"Whitey said it hadn't been his idea, either... Turns out, both he and Karen had been getting some long-distance calls from California, asking them to rethink their opinions of me, asking them to give me a chance..." Nathan trailed off, his eyes still locked on Haley's evasive ones.

"It wasn't a big deal, Nathan …" Haley stammered. "I saw the hard work you'd put in with your schoolwork so you could graduate. I knew that you just needed people to believe in you. What happened with that guy from Oak Lake was an accident... you're not a bad guy, Nathan. You never have been ... that side of you just needed ... a little encouragement ... to show through more. I figured if you had another shot at college, the basketball stuff would follow. Luke, Karen, Whitey, they all believed in you already, they just needed a little … nudge."

Nathan's smile was filled with amusement as he chuckled, lightly. "Seriously, Hales? A nudge?"

Haley shifted, uncomfortably, although momentarily surprised to hear her nickname fall so easily from Nathan's lips. It sounded nice through his deep voice; she could hear his smile through it.

"I wouldn't be anything without those nudges. If you hadn't talked to Luke back at high school, he would never have tried to get along with me. We would have stayed bitter enemies til we died. If you hadn't nudged Whitey, there was no way I'd be playing college ball... and no way would Maryland have picked me up for those last two years. And honestly, I probably wouldn't have managed at Maryland if Luke hadn't transferred there, too. I needed those experiences playing ball to get drafted to the NBA, and I wouldn't have gotten them if it weren't for you.

"You were the catalyst, Hales. The only person who'd ever seen any good in me, who ever wanted to help me, was you. Luke and Karen, Whitey, too, they didn't really want to give me a chance, but they wanted to help you, because they trusted you. And I don't know why you ever thought I was worth it... all these years and I haven't ever thanked you for what you've done for me. I could have gotten your number off Luke and called you a thousand times, but i couldn't do it, because I didn't feel like I was worthy of everything you did ... and then the years passed and it got way too late."

"It was only a few phone calls, Nathan." Haley cut in, getting increasingly embarrassed as she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to shield her vulnerability.

"It might have been a few phone calls for you, but before you made them, I had nothing good in my life, Haley. I had nothing. I was nothing. You changed my life for the better, and I'll do anything and everything I can to change yours now."


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter took a lot longer than I'd hoped to post. My brain was thinking one thing and my fingers were typing another and it took me ages to get this chapter to a place where I felt okay with it. I also got a little tied up working on a one-shot that I hope to post here soon. Apologies if anyone was waiting! I'm still not all that happy with how this one turned out, but if you get to the end and want to keep reading, thank you SO MUCH. I have lots in mind for these two, more characters will be appearing and I hope you stick around and read on.**

Haley woke up with a heavy, foggy head, like the kind she'd gotten on the rare occasions she'd gone out with her friends from college and not drank enough water with all the alcohol she'd consumed. A dull, amber light was coming in through the window, and Haley wasn't certain how long she'd slept for, if it was the sunrise or the sunset that was filling the room.

She had been overcome with fatigue after talking with Nathan, the overwhelming emotions surging over her and weighing her down until she could barely work her tongue to speak. It had been Nathan's idea to make use of the prescriptions given to her by the doctor and she had acquiesced to half a sleeping pill. Despite the non-alcoholic hangover feeling now, Haley was amazed that she had actually fallen asleep, and stayed asleep for quite some time by the looks of it. It wasn't a familiar feeling as sleep had spent the last few months taunting and teasing her, evading her no matter how many hours she spent in her bed.

Towards the end of her mother's life, she had been up worrying, her mind whirring with the uncertainty of her future, or she simply wanted to stay awake, sitting next to Lydia's bed to spend as much time with her as possible. After her mother's death, Haley had struggled with her aimless life, with no family or job, nothing that seemed to be anchoring her down like she had become accustomed to throughout her life. Depression had made her lethargic and drained, constantly exhausted over the tears she had been shedding, but still, sleep had never come easy. She had never been one to take medication unless she absolutely had to, but she was grateful for Nathan's suggestion if it meant that her weary body had finally had some rest.

Thinking of the man who owned the house she was sleeping in, Haley sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. It felt like an eternity since Haley had someone to answer to, so to speak. She had gone days, even an occasional week, without speaking to another soul after her siblings scattered like dice across the country after their mother's funeral. When she could be bothered feeling something, it was anger that had cut through the numbness, thinking that it had been so easy for them to get back to their own lives. She knew that, unlike with her father's death, having the forewarning, the chance to say goodbye, had made things somewhat easier on the James' siblings, but Haley's brain couldn't comprehend a world that just continued on without the laughter and joy that her parents had brought into it. Something deep inside her had changed. A voice, that had never been so cruel before, became louder and unavoidable as it told her that Haley had no one left in this world, no one who wanted to love her. She didn't matter to anyone. Her school didn't want her teaching there. Her brothers and sisters didn't care how she coped, or didn't cope, with the abyss in her soul that was now filled with grief. Chris, a man she thought had genuinely loved and cared about her, someone she might have a future with, had phoned from their small, shared apartment in LA to break off their 2-year relationship. She was too moody, he'd said, it was bringing him down. He needed her presence and support in California and he was too busy chasing the dream of being a professional musician to have the time to be responsible for her happiness. He told her that it was best for everyone that they part ways and end the relationship. He'd send her stuff to Tree Hill when he had time.

To Haley, the loss of her parents represented the loss of anyone who truly loved her unconditionally, a thought that cemented itself in her psyche with every passing day she spent alone. She found no reason to get out of bed each day. No reason not to believe that she didn't matter, that nothing good was left in the world. Lucas had sent texts, of course, but it was easy for Haley to pretend that she was ok in her replies. It had taken her over two months after Lydia's funeral, when she felt like the shattered pieces of her soul could break no further, to find something inside her that propelled her into the pool and back into the functioning world.

The rare gift of sleep had cleared Haley's head somewhat, and despite the low throbbing in her temples, she was able to sort through the emotions that had overwhelmed her earlier. Nathan's admission of going for a similar swim himself had surprised Haley - it was the last thing she expected him to understand, but it eased her anxieties somewhat to know that someone understood what had been going through her head. It was hard to believe that the Nathan Scott who had invited her to stay in his house used to be the same boy she tutored, who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hearing what her simple phone calls had meant to him, how they had changed his life now sent a warmth through her constantly chilled body. There was someone out there, alive and well, who thought she meant something. Whose life she had brought some worth to. Right now, that was enough to get her out of bed and in search of her temporary roommate.

"Hey, there you are." Nathan's smile was warm and immediate when he spotted Haley lurking in the doorway of the kitchen. She ran her hand through her tangled hair and in the inner corner of her eyes. "I was wondering if I'd see you today."

"Is it still today? What time is it?"

Nathan checked the expensive-looking watch on his left hand. "Nearly 7pm … you've been asleep for over 6 hours."

Haley huffed out a breath in disbelief and Nathan smiled again. "Guess those sleeping pills really did help. How do you feel?"

"Like I had way too many wines last night," she admitted, pulling the sleeves of her over-sized top over her hands and wrapping them around her body. "But this is the most I've slept since I left LA so it must have done me some good. Thank you for telling me to take them."

Nathan shrugged and turned back to the frying pan, turning two steaks over with a satisfying hiss.

"I did mean what I said about you cooking, but I figured since it's your first full day here I could cut you some slack… but this is about the best I can do to give you something that's actually edible."

Haley offered him a small smile, feeling the twinge in her cheeks from the unfamiliar facial gesture. "Thank you, it smells amazing," she admitted, and she surprised herself again when she realized she was actually telling the truth. Her body simply hadn't craved food over the past few months, and she lacked the energy to put together a nice meal for herself, the way she used to.

 _"Not just for yourself ... you didn't used to be so alone_ " she thought, nastily. She gritted her teeth at the intrusion of the voice she was trying so hard to quieten, before it stole the progress she had made by getting some sleep.

"Have you ever felt like you want to run away from yourself?"

Nathan had been in the process of serving up dinner, and at Haley's unexpected question, he looked up from the plates, surprised. Haley's felt herself freeze; she had surprised herself, as well. She hadn't realized she'd spoken out loud, the thought simply popped out from her mind into her mouth.

"I mean... not physically, obviously," she continued, nervously. "But, like ... the thoughts in your head, the thoughts that tell you everything you don't want to hear, the truth, the doubts..." She trailed off, feeling a little ill. Why was she talking about the voices in her head? Nathan didn't want to hear this; only crazy people talked about the voices in their head.

"Look, don't worry about it, I'm just being weird," she shook her head and waved her hands about, dismissively, as if she wanted to shoo away the words she'd spoken out loud. "I guess that's what a therapist is for, right?"

"No, no, I get what you mean." Nathan placed the plates full of food on the table and sat down, opposite to where Haley stood, clutching at the back of the chair. "I've spent my whole life being my own worst enemy, thanks to those voices. I get it..." He sat down and indicated that Haley should sit, too. Cutting into his fillet of steak, he continued.

"I think it comes down to that fight or flight instinct we have. You want to run from yourself, but me? I'm a competitive person, I had to fight... And then I just realized that fighting wasn't going to help me. Those thoughts, those voices? They don't define me. I can ignore them, or work with them to prove them wrong, but I just had to stop believing them. I think when you start doing that, it gets easier. You can make peace with yourself."

"How do I do that?"

Haley felt her cheeks flush, embarrassed at how helpless and desperate her voice sounded.

"Honestly? I don't know."

She slumped in her chair, filling her mouth with food to hide her growing embarrassment. As if her depression could be fixed over a dinner conversation.

"Look, all my life, basketball was all I had. The only thing I was good at, the only thing I got praised for, attention for. Basketball was the only way I was going to have a good life. But then, one day at practice I went for a layup and fell down hard, I tore all four ligaments in my knee and dislocated my patella tendon. And that was it – a completely freak accident, the end of my professional basketball career. I had to face life without the only thing I'd ever known. A whole new reality."

Haley nodded, remembering his words earlier that day in the kitchen.

"I just started thinking about what I wanted my life to be like, how I could be happy without basketball. I stopped listening to those voices that told me I couldn't do that, that I wasn't good at anything else, and started to show them that I could... And then things started changing. My agent, Clay, convinced me that I could make a good agent myself, and then I actually started signing clients. Our business grew. Anytime I felt like I was nothing without basketball, I'd go out and do something that showed that I could still have a happy life without it. I get to spend more time with my friends. I have a better relationship with my mom..."

"It just ... everything just feels so hard." Haley admitted, weakly.

"Look, Hales, I wish I could give you a playbook on how to do it, but I can't. It's not easy, but just take things day by day, ok? I meant what I said before – I'll do whatever I can to help. You'll get there."

Haley simply nodded, her mouthful of food swallowing down the lump in her throat. The two ate in a companionable silence for a while and Haley's thoughts briefly flitted to how comfortable she felt right then. It had been nearly a decade since the two sat opposite each other at a table, in circumstances so far from where they were now. It had always been Nathan asking the questions, and Haley assuring him that he would get there.

"So, I had an idea..."

Nathan's voice was nervous as it cut through the quiet and Haley waited with raised eyebrows for him to continue.

"There's this youth center downtown, a charity I'm involved with, they're a place for underprivileged kids, kids who need a little help, some support, you know ... they're always looking for tutors and I thought maybe you'd like to help while you're here?"

"Me?"

"Well, yeah. I can't think of anyone better to help out than a qualified teacher and former high school tutor." Nathan smirked at her.

Haley inhaled, sharply. Immediately, her brain started screaming at her, all the thoughts she'd had about how she wasn't a good teacher, that she didn't have it in her to help kids learn, that there was no joy in her former occupation. Swallowing hard, she nodded, slowly.

"Sure, of course. I'd love to."

Nathan grinned. "Great. I know the manager there, I'll give her a call and set things up."

Before Haley could reply, the sound of the front door opening and closing had both her and Nathan's heads turning. Nathan was half out of his chair as they heard footsteps approaching the living room.

"Nate! Where are ya?!"

Haley barely heard Nathan's quiet groan of dismay as they were joined by two men, the taller, lighter haired man calling out. Behind him, a shorter man with dark hair looked familiar to Haley, the connection only clicking in her head when Nathan spoke.

"Clay. Tim. What are you guys doing here?"

"It's Friday night, Nate! Guys' night, remember?" Tim Smith, who Haley hadn't seen since her junior year, walked in, clapping his hands excitedly.

Nathan groaned again, but before he could speak, the guy that Haley hadn't met before spotted her. Haley couldn't help but notice how impeccably groomed his eyebrows were as they rose in surprise.

"Whoa, Nate! When you said were taking a few days off for personal reasons, I didn't think you meant _this_ personal!" A cheeky grin had spread across his handsome, boyish features as his blue eyes took Haley in. Sticking out his hand for her to shake, he said, "Clay Evans. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Haley briefly wondered if Nathan was as embarrassed as she was. She was aware that her hair hadn't been brushed properly since her sleep, and even though her head still hurt, it occurred to her that she hadn't even packed shampoo and simply hadn't cared about basic grooming habits lately. She hadn't been in the mood to think about how she looked in front of Nathan, but the way this man's eyes swept up and down, she wished she had been more aware of her appearance before she left for Charlotte. Haley's self-consciousness expanded the blood vessels beneath her cheeks as she blushed tomato-red, knowing that Nathan was more accustomed to eating dinner with women far more attractive and polished as her.

"Clay, this is Haley James, a friend of mine from Tree Hill. Tim, you remember Haley."

Tim beamed at her and Haley managed a small smile back. Tim had been like a puppy, following Nathan everywhere during their high school years. Despite being moved to a different school for his senior year, evidently the two had remained friends. Haley recalled Nathan mentioning his name during his retelling of the night of the fight with Damien West.

"Haley James" Clay grinned as they shook hands, his eyes appraising her.

Haley had the feeling that Clay had more to say, but Nathan quickly jumped in.

"I'm sorry, guys, but I totally forgot about tonight. You go ahead without me."

Tim's face fell, comically. "But, I took the day off work just for this!"

"What do you do?" Haley couldn't help but ask.

"I'm a vehicular liaison for an Italian cuisine establishment."

"Just say you're a pizza delivery boy, Tim" Nathan sighed, as Haley suppressed an unexpected giggle.

"But today's my busiest day! Friday night tips are so good" Tim whined

"Yeah, come on, Nate. You know I'm out of town next week." Clay added

"Go" Haley urged, turning towards Nathan, whose bright blue eyes were on her. "I'll be fine here, I'll probably just get some sleep, while I'm on a roll."

Nathan shook his head at her. "No, you just got here... sorry guys, I'm out. Next time. And next time, learn how to knock, ok? You can't just barge into someone's house like that."

As he ushered his two disappointed friends out of the room and back towards the front door, Haley heard Clay's voice say something about not wanting to interrupt a romantic dinner. She blushed even harder, gulping down the glass of water Nathan had placed on the table, desperate to cool her cheeks before he returned.

He did, with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm so sorry about that, Hales. Those guys, they're idiots."

"No they're not, they're your friends. You should have gone out with them, Nathan. Honestly, I'm fine here. I don't need a babysitter."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. You just arrived yesterday, we haven't seen each other in a while. I thought it'd be nice to catch up, talk about stuff, if you're feeling up to it."

Haley couldn't help another smile crawl onto her face, marveling at how many times, no matter how small, that had happened today. Nathan's kindness had been such an unexpected gift.

"Sure, okay," she agreed, nodding.

Nathan smiled at her, sitting back down in front of his dinner. "Then there's nowhere else I'd rather be."


	7. Chapter 7

"Good morning, this is Fortitude. How can I help you today?"

Nathan raised his eyebrows in greeting as he strolled past the receptionist as she juggled the phone to her ear. Further down the hall, he could see through the large, floor-to-ceiling windows into Clay's office as he paced up and down, talking animatedly on his Bluetooth earpiece. The two agents exchanged nods before Nathan entered his own office opposite Clay's, settling in his oversized black desk chair with a sigh.

It had been a long week, a difficult one, if Nathan was honest. He'd never really lived with anyone before, apart from Lucas, and he'd particularly never lived with anyone dealing with the situation Haley was in. He hadn't expected her to miraculously recover overnight, but it had been exhausting keeping up with her ever-changing emotions and deciphering the best way for him to react and behave. Not that it was exactly Haley's fault; he knew that she was just a victim of the darkness in her head, at mercy to the unpredictable emotions her brain was putting her through.

He remembered the feeling all too well from the long days in hospital and the recovery after his knee injury, wanting to live inside his own head and listen to the demons that were tying him down. He remembered the anger he felt when doctors, Clay, Lucas, his own mother tried to talk to him, to tease him out of the dark bubble he wanted to wallow in. Although he was now grateful for their efforts, he found himself self-consciously wanting to avoid similar confrontations with Haley. Not that sweet, quiet Haley James was drinking herself into stupors night after night, or throwing bottles at people who tried to help, like he had done, but Nathan was acutely aware of how their current living situation had rapidly and unnaturally escalated their relationship. Overnight, they had gone from acquaintances to Nathan being the person who saw and spoke to Haley the most, the most supportive figure in her fight to regain normalcy, her surrogate best friend. He knew that she hated to acknowledge the tears that frequently escaped her dark eyes, and while it didn't feel right to him to sit idly by and do nothing, he was never certain that he was doing or saying the right thing, if he was making things worse or better for her. Too many times he found himself wishing that Lucas was around for advice, but his editors had confiscated his phone until his book was done. So Nathan was on his own, second-guessing his actions but so desperately wanting to help his old tutor.

Despite the two having a nice meal and talk the week before, after Tim and Clay had left, it hadn't gone unnoticed by Nathan that he had led the conversation, with Haley happy to listen to his tales about college with Lucas and his life in the NBA, asking more questions any time Nathan tried to turn the conversation to her or get her to talk about how she was feeling. She had avoided joining him on his morning runs, saying she needed to get some proper shoes and running clothes first. She spent a lot of time in her room, and Nathan was hesitant, knowing there was a fine line between supporting someone and pushing them too hard.

It hadn't been a total disaster, though, and Nathan knew that there were moments when he hadn't totally screwed things up. On her second morning living with him, he had found her in her bedroom, sobbing over the small carry-on suitcase she had brought with her. Haley had been in tears because she had forgotten to pack shampoo, angrily declaring that she was pathetic and useless as she threw her meager possessions back into the bag. Through her tears, she had flatly refused Nathan's offer to go and buy her some, seemingly preferring to succumb to the dark mood she had been pulled into. Regardless, Nathan spent a bewildering 20 minutes at the supermarket, randomly sniffing bottles until he found one he thought Haley might like. The bottle he'd left outside her closed bedroom door had disappeared, her hair had been damp when he saw her next, and nothing further had been said. It still hadn't helped the feeling that Nathan was walking on eggshells around her, helplessly wanting to reach out and make everything better.

"Good morning, Mr Scott."

Nathan was pulled from his thoughts as his secretary entered his office.

"Hi, Rachel."

The tall redhead walked to his desk, handing over a stack of envelopes, which Nathan started to flick through as she spoke. "The Taylor contract just came through for you to look at, they said you should be happier with the new figures... you have a meeting with the Hornets at 10am and Troy Jameson called and wants to see you sometime today."

"Ok," Nathan nodded as he opened up his mail. "Can you call him back and schedule a meeting this afternoon? 2pm would be good."

"Sure thing," she agreed as she jotted the note on the pad of paper she held.

"How are you feeling?"

A beaming smile spread across his secretary's face at his question, and her hand went to her small, rounded stomach. "Great, really great. This trimester is _so_ much easier than the first. My morning sickness has gone and I'm feeling much better."

Nathan smiled at her. Rachel Gatina was absolutely glowing. The two had become unlikely friends three years ago, when Nathan first joined the Bobcats. She had been a cheerleader, and the only one who had turned down the advances of the new star player, who simply assumed it was standard practice to sleep with as many cheerleaders as possible. Much to Nathan's surprise, Rachel had declared that she never slept with the players; she wasn't going to play to that stereotype, she was only after meaningful, long-term relationships. The sooner she could get married and settle down, the better.

After Nathan's accident and once he'd made the decision to join Clay as an agent himself, Nathan had heard that Rachel was also preparing for life away from the court. As well as being smart and organized, Rachel was strong and tenacious, and Nathan quickly discovered that he couldn't have found a better secretary to help him along his new career path. Within weeks of him hiring her, Rachel had fallen head over heels for Fortitude's accountant, Dean. Although Nathan had initially been surprised, their marriage after only one month of dating and subsequent pregnancy the month after that only seemed fitting.

"That's great to hear," Nathan enthused. "And how's Dean?"

"Well, you know Dean ... up to his eyeballs in numbers and books. But he's excited, he loves being a husband and he was born to be a father." Rachel paused, eyeing up her boss. "You know, you could have that life too, if you tried."

Nathan pressed his lips together. It had been Clay's idea for the new agency to go out and celebrate, which had led to Nathan drunkenly confessing to his secretary that he, too, longed to have a more settled life now that his basketball career had ended. The idea of marrying and having children no longer filled him with fear and dread, but now sounded appealing and almost necessary to completing the life he had been building for the past year.

"It's been a busy year, Rach. I'm only just back on my feet - literally and metaphorically. I don't have time for dating."

"Well maybe you should make time ... Clay says there's a girl visiting you at the moment..."

"Clay needs to keep his big mouth shut."

"... and he caught you guys having a cozy dinner last week." Rachel finished, ignoring Nathan's interruption.

"She's just a friend. And it was just a dinner."

"Mmm-hmm. Right."

"Can we not talk about my personal life, please? And stop gossiping with Clay. You work for me, not him."

"Nathan..."

He looked up at her soft tone. Rachel hardly ever called him that at work; it had been her preference to refer to him as "Mr Scott" in order to suit her professional role.

"I know you're not that guy anymore. You don't have to be afraid of every woman going after you because they think you're the big celebrity basketballer, or them running away because of a reputation you used to have. You have to let someone in, give them the chance to get to know the real Nathan Scott."

"I appreciate what you're saying, Rachel, but this isn't a discussion for work hours."

His secretary nodded, knowing that she couldn't push her generous boss any further with the personal conversation. "No problem. I'll get back to you once I've confirmed with Jameson."

"Thank you."

Nathan watched as she headed out of his office, and he tried to ignore her words that were reverberating around his head as he flicked the contract she had left on his desk. It was easier for him to shut out the latter part of their conversation, but he didn't like the thought of Clay talking about Haley with anyone. His business partner had sent several curious, probing texts after that night, and Nathan was glad that he'd been able to avoid replying, being grateful that Clay had to be out of the office all of last week for work. But he was back now, and clearly still curious if it had been mentioned to Rachel. Nathan felt strangely protective over Haley, knowing how vulnerable she must feel about staying with him, and how hyper-aware she was at the thought of people talking about her.

He'd barely read a word from the paper in front of him before his office door opened again and Clay's mischievous face was in his line of sight.

"Howdy, partner."

"Clay, you were in Texas for a week. You're not a cowboy."

"Someone's grumpy this morning... the girlfriend didn't wake you up with a..."

"Clay..." Nathan's tone was low and resembled a bear growling.

"... coffee? Why, what did you think I was going to say?"

Nathan gritted his teeth together, deciding to ignore the "girlfriend" comment in order to steer clear of conversation that wasn't work related. He'd only been in the office 20 minutes and he'd had enough of that.

"How was Texas? Anyone promising?"

"There were a couple, but, you know, I just thought I'd invite them over for an intimate dinner on a night when we'd made plans and not tell you about it ... and then not reply to your texts afterwards."

"Clay..."

"Ok, ok, I got it, you don't want to talk about Haley James. You know, that throbbing vein in your forehead is kinda sexy..."

Nathan took a deep breath. Clay was a great agent and business partner, and had become a good friend. He had been as supportive as Lucas when Nathan had been a grade-A asshole after his injury, but still Nathan didn't feel that it was his place to share Haley's situation with Clay. It was no one's business why she was staying with him.

"Look, Haley is an old friend of mine from school, she's staying in Charlotte for a while, that's it. We're not dating, our dinner wasn't romantic and I'm sorry I forgot about our guy's night. Now, can we please talk about work? What happened in Texas?"

He exhaled in relief as Clay, after a placating eyebrow raise, began to fill him in on his business trip last week, the potential players he had seen and the interest in the agency he had garnered. Nathan took another deep breath.

Just another day in the life of a sports agent.

 **I'm embarrassed at how long this update took me, considering it's such a boring, filler chapter! If you're still awake after reading this, I promise I will try and keep updating a little faster and things will pick up with our favorite couple. In case anyone was wondering, I'm using random character names for certain characters in this story, so there's no need to worry about trouble brewing ahead with my Rachel (anyone catch my reference to naming her husband Dean? Hehe). Anyway, your reviews and feedback have been amazingly kind and mean a lot to me, so thank you so much!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I honestly have no idea what I've done to deserve all the amazing, incredibly kind reviews, but thank you, thank you, thank you! The wonderful, supportive words have really inspired me to write more and have helped my constant lack of confidence in writing this story. It's amazing to hear that people are actually enjoying it. Every review, favorite, PM has meant the world to me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to every one of you.**

 **This acknowledgement is well overdue, but a massive thank you to Jessie, Jill & Carolina who have always been happy to listen to me bounce around ideas, offer suggestions, get me out of ruts and put up with my self-flagellation. I don't think I would have the courage to post each chapter without their help! And especially to Carolina, who opened up her soul to me and shared some of her thoughts and feelings during a dark time in her life. I think that anyone who has suffered from depression have had their own signs and symptoms and it was important to me to incorporate other feelings as well as canon S7 Haley.**

 **On that note, there are lines and scenes that I've taken directly from 7x20 and obviously I'm not trying to pass them on as mine. I know they're Mark's, you know they're Mark's. With that, here's chapter 8. (Thank you again!)**

* * *

There was nothing special about the big tree that stood to the left of Nathan's driveway, but Haley could tell you exactly how many branches forked out of its strong, thick trunk. She could, to an extremely high degree of accuracy, tell you how many smaller twigs grew out of those branches. How even the lightest of winds would cause the grass-green leaves to rustle slowly, hypnotically. There was something about it that comforted Haley. She liked how gently the leaves would dance, despite how strong and solid the tree looked. Like an elephant executing a graceful pirouette. Surely, if it was that easy for that big tree to move, she could, too?

Well, not today. Especially not today.

She had sat, immobile for hours as she stared at that tree. She had spent two weekends living there now, but it was the hours in the week days that crawled by unbearably, while Nathan was at work. As she had discovered when she first arrived to stay in Charlotte, Nathan's presence had forced her to do things that she had otherwise not bothered to do - get out of bed, talk, eat - but she had not been able to summon the desire to function in his absence, allowing the time and silence to give way to her negative thoughts.

Her therapist had suggested, in their first session together, Haley practice something she called mindfulness. Be present in the moment, she had told her. Acknowledge your feelings, but don't judge them. Be aware. It sounded so baloney. Haley had wondered what her mother, so wise and attuned to the feelings of her children, would have said about the therapist's advice.

Then Haley remembered that she would never learn anything new about how her mother felt ever again, ditched being mindful and stared at the tree instead.

She did honestly _want_ to change. She didn't want to feel so heavy and burdened, but everything just felt so hard _._ If it didn't remind her of what she had lost, it simply didn't inspire her anymore. There was no enjoyment, no magic in the world.

She wanted to accept Nathan's offer to run with him every morning, but as she dragged her feet through the nearby shopping mall in search of shoes and clothes, the price of everything stopped her from making any purchases, reminding her that she didn't have a job or a way to refill her bank account. It made her feel hopeless and that feeling dragged her back to the starting line, reversing any progress she may have made.

Remembering his former tutor's passion for reading, Nathan had taken her down to the local library over the weekend, hoping to ignite her inner bookworm that had laid listless and uninspired inside her for so long. Haley had stared at the laminated spines, willing a book to jump out at her and beg for attention, as so many used to do before, but she returned empty handed and had not missed the disappointed look in Nathan's eyes.

Haley didn't like that look. She knew that he wasn't disappointed in her - not yet, anyway - but she wished that he wouldn't try so hard to fix her. It wasn't his fault that he failed. Through her numbness, her brain registered how fortunate she was to have his support and if she couldn't be her own motivation, surely she could try for him. It propelled her to at least cook dinner each night for both of them. Nathan seemed grateful, enthusing over his plate every evening, but Haley knew that he probably ate better in college. Another hobby that she had always enjoyed had become a chore.

It was a failed attempt at tonight's dinner that had found herself back at the table, staring at the tree while the kitchen floor glowed white with spilled flour. She just couldn't do anything right, everything was so _hard_.

A loud vibrating jolted Haley back into her surroundings, her phone ratting hard against the wooden table. Stretching her arm out to jab the round, red icon to disconnect the incoming call, she pushed herself upright with a forceful exhalation and made her way back to the kitchen. Nathan was due home from work soon and she knew she couldn't leave the mess she'd abandoned. Squatting on the powdery floor, she began throwing fistfuls of dough back into the bowl until she heard the front door slam.

"Nathan? Hello? Are you home?"

Haley froze at the female voice calling out, and briefly for one, ridiculous moment, wondered if she could stay hidden behind the kitchen island where she was crouched. She heard the click of stilettos on the kitchen floor and slowly raised herself to a standing position. Standing there, with her arms full of folders, was probably one of the last people Haley ever expected to see again in her lifetime.

"Brooke Davis?"

The brunette dumped the contents of her arms down on the kitchen counter and huffed an errant strand of shiny hair off her face.

"Tutor Girl?! What are you doing here?! Is Nathan home yet?"

"Um... no?"

Brooke let out an exasperated sigh. "He better not be late, he knows it's on today." With the ease of someone who knew their way around this particular kitchen, and completely unfazed by Haley's presence there, she strode across the room, pulled out a glass from an overhead cupboard and filled it with water from a bottle in Nathan's fridge. Haley watched, dumbstruck, as the former Tree Hill High student council President gulped her drink down and set the glass back on the counter.

"Has he left work yet, do you know? I take it you're not coming? I mean you totally can, if you want, you just might want to ... clean up a little." Brooke waved a hand, tipped with short, black painted nails, in Haley's direction. "What happened here, anyway?"

Haley stood motionless, confused. She had last seen Brooke at their graduation and had heard about the successful clothing line that she had started. The stylish, popular Brooke Davis of Tree Hill High had never actually ever acknowledged quiet, poncho-wearing Haley James to her face before, and the "Tutor Girl" proper noun rattled her already broken foundation. She also knew that, during their high school years at least, Brooke and Nathan hated each other. While Haley understood that she was an unexpected appearance in Nathan's kitchen, Brooke was certainly higher up on that list; yet here she was, waltzing into his house like she was meant to be there.

"I'm sorry," Haley heard her voice say. "Come to what?"

"My fashion show. The preview of the summer line, for investors."

Haley's teeth found her bottom lip as she wrapped her arms around her slight body. Brooke certainly didn't seem as shocked over Haley's presence as Haley was over Brooke's, and it made the small, blonde woman feel confused and disorientated. She didn't think she'd ever felt so stupid in her life, and she started to feel the prickle of anger in her bloodstream. Haley knew she shouldn't let it grow, but she had succumbed a lot to the secondary emotion lately. It felt like a personal attack, the way Brooke seemed to unfazed and confident, like it was mocking Haley's current vulnerability and terrible day she'd been having. Of all the moments Brooke Davis had to enter her life again, Haley had to be covered in flour.

As Brooke stood there, expectantly waiting for Haley to get up to speed, the women heard the door open, followed by Nathan's presence a few seconds later.

"Hey Hales, hey Brooke," he greeted them, slightly breathlessly. "Sorry I'm late, got held up at work. I don't need to change, do I?"

Nathan had directed his last comments to the taller brunette. Brooke shook her head. "No, but I'd add a tie. You sure can rock a suit, Bobcat."

"Please don't call me that, Brooke. You know I'm not a Bobcat anymore."

"Oh, you mean you prefer Boy Toy?" Brooke threw a conspiratorial wink at Haley which for some reason sizzled her blood further.

Haley saw Nathan take in the mess in the kitchen before his blue eyes caught the tension in his roommate's hands and in the way her shoulders locked closer to her ears.

"Um... everything ok here?"

Haley looked at him, dumbly. "Why are you going to a fashion show?"

"He's an investor in Clothes Over Bros. Well, it's not really a fashion show... I always hold a preview of my line for them well before it drops. I know we're hardly in spring, but that's how the fashion industry works." It was Brooke that answered, but Haley kept her eyes on Nathan.

"You're an investor in her company?"

"He saved me from Bitchtoria," Brooke answered again, as if Nathan wasn't capable of speaking. "My nightmare of a mother got us into some serious financial mess, almost ruined the company, but then Nathan here swooped in like a big old superhero and saved the day."

At Haley's inquiring look, Nathan's cheeks tinted pink. "It wasn't that big of a deal... Brooke needed some help, I had the money ..."

"It was a big deal. I honestly don't know how I could have survived another minute working with my bitch of a mom"

Haley turned her glazed, dark eyes towards the other woman as the anger boiled deeper. "My mother just died."

Haley felt an ugly streak flash through her when she saw Brooke's pretty face fall.

"Oh God, Tutor Girl, I'm so sorry. I had no idea... God, I'm so sorry..."

"My name is Haley," Haley interrupted her, unable to hide the venom in her voice. "Ha-ley."

Brooke look stunned, and turned her troubled eyes towards Nathan, who cut in, quickly. "Hales, Brooke didn't mean anything by it, ok? She honestly didn't know, I didn't tell her anything."

"You didn't tell her why I'm here? She just waltzes into your house like she owns the place and you're obviously best buddies and an investor in her company, but you don't tell her that I'm here?"

Haley saw Nathan's chest expand against his grey work shirt as he inhaled slowly. His eyes remained steady on hers as he replied, simply. "No, I didn't."

Brooke spoke up again, hesitantly, her previous confidence gone. "Look, Nathan? I've got to go and set everything up, so I'll see you there, ok? Just bring everything with you." She lightly tapped on the pile of folders she'd left, before giving them a small, tight smile. "See you soon. See you, Haley. Take care."

She didn't wait for a response before she turned and left, leaving behind a cloud of Guerlain perfume. In the silence that followed, Haley realized how vicious she had sounded, how her noxious anger had attacked her unsuspecting and undeserving former classmate.

"Haley ... has something happened? Are you ok?" Nathan asked, cautiously. His eyes once again swept over the mess in the kitchen as Haley trembled, trying to control her emotions.

"I ... I was trying to cook dinner ... Birthday Chicken Dumpling Soup ... My mom's special recipe... but... I can't even do that right, can I?"

"Birthday? Who..."

Nathan was cut off as Haley's phone vibrated loudly again. She didn't miss the way he jumped slightly as she shut the phone down and slammed it in a drawer, hiding it under a pile of dish towels that he probably never used.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"Nope."

"Look, Hales" Nathan's voice was cautious. "Speaking of phone calls ... the manager of the youth center called me ... she said she'd been trying to get hold of you all of last week but you haven't been picking up. She's been leaving messages ..."

"I've just been busy, ok?"

The both knew how pathetic and untrue Haley's statement was, and the vicious anger that was fueling Haley knew that Nathan wouldn't challenge her.

"Ok ... well, do you need some help cleaning up here? I've got some time before I have to leave for Brooke's thing... And look, I'm sorry if she surprised you. As you can see, my friends always just walk into my house and make themselves at home." Nathan tried to joke, but his light laugh fell flat. "Look, Hales, I haven't told anyone what's going on or why you're here ... it's not my place to tell, I promise you that."

Haley kept her back turned to Nathan and she started sweeping up flour and clumps of dumpling batter, the noise as it hit the metal bowl louder than it needed to be. She kept her teeth gritted together as she worked, determined not to cry, determined not to see that look on his face.

"Look, why don't you go upstairs and relax? I can clean up here."

"You know what? I'm ok... I don't need any help, I just wanna be alone."

"Hales..." Nathan sounded helpless, and when Haley finally looked up at him, his face had the exact expression that she hadn't wanted to see again.

The ice hadn't left her voice as she insisted, "I just want to be alone."

There was just the sound of sweeping against the floor for a moment. Finally, Nathan spoke. "Ok ... sure ... I'll get going, I'll be back in a few hours ... You can always call me if you need anything."

He sounded hesitant. Haley looked up once more, giving him a grimace of acknowledgement before turning away from him. There was another pause before, at last, Haley heard his footsteps retreat and the sound of the door shutting. She stopped her cleaning for a moment and settled back on her haunches as the sound of his Range Rover faded away. It was only then that she looked down into the bowl, allowing the stream of hot tears to drop into the dough that she had carelessly thrown in there off the floor.

"Happy birthday, Mom."


	9. Chapter 9

The normally gentle tone of Nathan's phone sounded like church bells tolling in his eardrum when it rang early the next morning. His arm stretched out and slapped around the table beside his bed a few times before finding the cool, rectangular shape and holding it up to his ear.

"Luke? What do you want?"

"Good morning to you too, little brother. Did I wake you up?"

"It's not even morning yet. What are you doing up and why are you calling me?"

"It is morning. 5am is morning." Lucas' voice sounded irritatingly perky in Nathan's ear. "But I haven't been to bed, yet. I've just finished. I've submitted the final manuscript to my editors and it's done. Ready to go, off to the printers."

Nathan's yawn was long and languid. "That's great, Luke, congratulations."

Lucas basked in his excitement a little longer as he talked to his brother about how the print run was being rushed in order to meet the deadlines of a busy press tour that couldn't be rescheduled, despite the delay in him finishing the book. Even though it was largely for financial reasons, Lucas felt important and valued that so many people were frantically running around in order to get his words out into the world. His latest novel was the last in a trilogy of historical novels about a young white man joining an all-Black basketball team, and Lucas knew he had been fortunate to make a living out writing.

"Anyway," he said, at last, "I'm sorry for waking you up, and I'll have to get some sleep in a minute as well, but I wanted to check in and ask about Haley."

At the mention of the woman sleeping across the hall from him, Nathan sat up in his large, expensive bed and leaned against the padded, black leather headboard.

"I don't know, Luke... I don't know what to do."

"What's going on?"

"I just feel like I'm getting nowhere, man. She's just so closed off... she's fine when we're talking about me but she refuses to talk about herself. She's still stuck in her head, where she feels she's useless and not good enough. I don't think she does anything while I'm at work, she won't read... The only thing she does is cook dinner and I think that's only because she feels obligated to, for me. She hardly eats."

There was silence on the line after Nathan trailed off, before Lucas finally spoke. "Look, Nate, you're not her therapist. It's not even been two weeks, don't beat yourself up."

"But what am I supposed to do?!" Nathan exploded. "I can't just there and watch her break. It's awful, Luke. Yesterday ... God, she just totally lost it, I've never seen her so angry before."

"What happened?"

Nathan sighed with emotion. "Brooke Davis turned up. I'd forgotten to tell Haley she'd be in town... Anyway, she just barged into the house and was just going on and on about how horrible her mom had been over the whole Clothes Over Bros thing. Haley just went into total bitch mode and then shut me down. By the time I'd gotten home afterwards, she'd gone to bed, wouldn't respond when I knocked... I mean, it wasn't Haley's fault at all and I don't blame her, I would've done the same, but Brooke didn't know anything, either. It was just a huge big mess and totally my fault. "

It had been his fault, Nathan knew it. He knew how fragile and vulnerable Haley felt, and being caught by surprise on top of Brooke's nasty words about her own mother hadn't helped. He should have been more prepared, done more to protect Haley, but he was so worried about doing the wrong thing and he knew it wasn't his place to tell people what was going on. He just hadn't expected Haley to be so cold towards him, so angry. He felt pathetic and helpless, knowing that allowing Haley to stew in her anger afterwards hadn't been an ideal situation. If he could just get her to open up and stop bottling in how she felt, maybe he could help. There had also been something else from yesterday's incident that had been on Nathan's mind.

"And there's another thing ... Haley was upset because she'd ruined some birthday dumpling soup yesterday ... it wasn't her birthday, was it?"

"No," Lucas replied, and Nathan quietly sighed in relief. "Her birthday is next month, April 2nd... I don't know ..." He trailed off for a second, before he quietly cursed down the line.

"What?"

"Hang on, hang on, let me check, I'm sure I have it here somewhere..." Nathan could hear Lucas moving around his New York home, drawers opening and papers rustling. There was silence for a moment, before Nathan heard his brother swear under his breath.

"Dammit ... it was her mom's birthday yesterday. I kept the order of service from the funeral. It's right here... March 7."

Nathan thumped his head back on the heavy bed headboard. "Fuck. No wonder. And on top of that, she has to deal with Brooke as well. Shit, I didn't know, she didn't tell me..."

"It's not your fault, man." Lucas tried to reassure him. "Look, I'll give her a call, see if I can talk to her."

"I wouldn't bother, she's not answering her phone." Nathan replied. "It's hiding in my kitchen drawer at the moment. She's been refusing to take any calls. I don't know who she's avoiding."

"Look, Nate, hopefully the therapist will be able to help - she's only had one session. And I know you'll be able to get her to open up to you, help beat those dark thoughts. Do remember last year after you did your knee? What an asshole you were? Clay and I, we got through to you in the end. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun, but we got you to listen, didn't we?"

"Yeah, but that's totally different. Clay was my agent, you're my brother ... I can't push Haley too far, I'm nothing to her. You're her best friend."

"You're not nothing to her, Nate. You know she's grateful that you're letting her stay with you."

"Yeah but I'm not her best friend. I don't know how far I can push her to get her to open up to me, to get her to face things." Nathan pointed out, defeated. "She needs you, man. Not me. I'm probably just going to make things worse."

"No," Lucas disagreed. "I know you can help her, Nathan. Probably even in more ways than I ever could. I may be her best friend, but she's always known what to do to help you. I know you can do the same for her. She will listen to you ... Look, you said she's happy when you're talking about yourself, so just keep doing that. Keep relating to her, she'll see that you understand. I know you can do it."

Nathan's reply was a groan of frustration, not able to believe the words his older half-brother was saying. He'd lost a professional basketball career; it was hardly the same as the loss Haley had suffered.

"Listen, I need a couple of days here to sort some stuff out, but I can make it down on Friday, ok? I can spend the weekend."

Nathan's relief at hearing his brother would be around, even for a few short days, was short-lived as he remembered his plans for the coming weekend. "Jake and Peyton are coming up from Savannah then; Brooke's organized us all for a night out - she's spending the week at the store in Tree Hill but she's coming back here before flying back to New York."

"That's great. We'll all go, it'll be good for Haley to get out. I wonder if I can get on the same flight back as Brooke ..." Lucas mused, and Nathan rolled his eyes. His brother had always harbored a crush on their beautiful, dark-haired classmate, but had never acted on it. Despite both of them living in the same area, their paths hadn't crossed and he knew Lucas had been quietly and slightly envious that Nathan's investment put him in Brooke's orbit again.

He also knew that the last thing Haley would want to do was spend time with people she hardly knew. They had lived in different worlds in high school and Haley had been absent from the maturing that most of them had to do, missing out on how the troubled teens had found their way back to friendship as they grew up. He couldn't imagine how an evening with people she barely knew and didn't have a lot of positive feelings towards would help her in her current state of depression. Nathan did, however, agree with Lucas to a degree - he had found out for himself that when he was forced out in public after his injury, when he had to fake being on his best behavior, even pretending to be happy and positive for a short time had been a welcome reprieve from the dark thoughts in his head. Even though Haley would be facing a group of his friends, instead of the sporting media and general public, he wondered if it would help her, too.

"Hey..." Lucas captured his attention again. "Nathan, I really appreciate what you're doing for her. It means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to her. It'll be ok."

The two brothers ended the call and Nathan sat deep in thought, staring at his phone, thinking how things hadn't gotten any better since the last time Lucas had assured him that things with Haley would be ok.

* * *

It was late morning and Nathan stood at the window, absently sipping coffee. He had managed to get a few things done, thanks to his early start from Lucas, but he knew a hard conversation with Haley was inevitable. She hadn't appeared from her room, and his kitchen was shining with cleanliness. As he thought, he stared at the big tree in front of his house. He'd always liked that tree; it was good for watching when he was thinking, something about it comforted him somehow. It was like a gentle giant.

He sensed Haley's presence before he heard her, catching a movement in the reflection of the window and smelling something floral that smelt much nicer as it wafted in the air than it did from a plastic bottle in the supermarket.

"Morning."

"Hi."

Haley's voice was quiet and, turning to face her, Nathan felt his chest ache at the sight of her. Her lids were puffy, diminishing the usually startling look of her large brown eyes. She looked pale and tired as always, as if she had only just stepped off the plane at Charlotte Douglas Airport. She still wore the grey sweatshirt, which swallowed her tiny frame up due to its size.

Nathan certainly hadn't thought his next movements out when he had been staring at the tree, so it was without conscious thought he found himself crossing the room towards her and holding her to him in his arms. There was something so fragile about her that he wanted to simultaneously hold her gently so he wouldn't break her, but hold her tight to keep her together. With her feet bare, Haley's head just peeked over his shoulder, her cheek resting against his collarbone. She held herself stiffly for a long moment, until, finally, her arms lifted up to wrap weakly around his torso. Nathan held on for a few seconds before releasing her and stepping back.

"I'm sorry."

Despite her puffy eyes, Haley managed to shoot him an inquisitive look.

"Luke told me that it was your mom's birthday yesterday. I'm sorry."

Haley started to move away, tears leaking from her eyes. Nathan followed her into the kitchen as she headed towards the coffee machine, determined that she hear what he had to say.

"I should have been here for you, I feel bad that I wasn't. I'm sorry."

Haley shook her head, her back to him. "Stop apologizing." Her voice was hoarse and husky.

"But I _am_ sorry. Hales, you should have told me."

"It doesn't matter."

"It _does_."

Haley was still shaking her head. When she turned to face him, she looked tired and defeated. "Why, Nathan? Why does it matter? She's not here anymore. Why even think about the day of the birth of someone who's dead? What's the point? What am I supposed to do? Get a cake, some candles? Happy birthday, Mom! You're dead, but we're having a party!"

There were no words in Nathan's head as he stared helplessly at her. It was probably the most Haley had said to him in the entire time she'd been there. He felt so inadequate; he'd never be able to understand the amount of pain she was in.

"You could have done whatever you wanted to do, Hales. And you should have done it with me."

"Yeah, well, what's the point?" She asked, as she turned back to making her coffee. "I couldn't even make her birthday chicken dumpling soup."

"The point is, you don't have to do this alone! Every time that you push people away, you isolate yourself, it just gives those awful voices inside your head more room to grow and get louder. Trust me, Hales, I know. I've been there. It doesn't have to be like that, for you. You don't have to listen to them.

"You're not alone. You have me. Please … just let me in a little. You want to fight and feel? Let me help you."

He watched as Haley's shoulder sagged a little. After what felt like an eternity, she turned around again.

"I just don't understand ... I don't understand how my brothers and sisters can just go on about their lives as if nothing has happened. As if the most important people in our lives haven't just left us."

"How do you know that's what they're doing? Maybe they're struggling, too, and feeling just as alone as you are. Have you talked to any of them?"

Haley scoffed, disbelievingly. "They're all so wrapped up in themselves, they don't care ... they left all the funeral arrangements to me to sort out, a week before Christmas... and they didn't even stay, we couldn't even have a family Christmas together, they all just went back to their own, pathetic lives."

Relieved that Haley had opened up, just a little, Nathan took a chance and opened the drawer where she had thrown her phone in yesterday. He powered it up and slid it closer to her. "Maybe they do care, Hales. Or maybe they need you."

She shook her head. "I can't ... I can't be there for them, even if they wanted me to. I don't have anything in me to help them."

"Then you can at least help yourself. You have to try, Hales. That woman that threw herself into the pool? You owe it to her to find her again. Don't ignore the outside world. It's not going to go away … and neither am I."

With a heavy sigh, Haley reached out and pocketed her phone. Nathan cheered, inwardly.

"You can talk to me, Hales, about anything. Keeping everything to yourself isn't working so far, is it? What do you have to lose?"

Despite his words, Nathan took her silence as a good sign, which gave him the confidence to continue.

"I have something for you..."

From the lounge, he retrieved a large duffel bag, bold letters and the famous large tick emblazoned across it. Haley frowned as he handed it to her.

"Go on, open it," he encouraged, nodding towards the bag.

Uncertainly, Haley pulled at the zipper. A shoe box with the logo that matched the bag sat on top of a pile of clothes. Haley flipped open the lid to reveal a pair of pretty peach, white and grey running shoes in her size. Stunned, she looked through the assortment of tanks, tops, shorts and pants, all emblazoned with the same Nike tick.

"Nathan ... I ... this can't be for me."

"Well, they're definitely not for me," he stated, warily eyeing up a purple cropped sports bra.

"There's like ... thousands of dollars' worth of clothes in here."

Nathan shrugged, nonchalantly. "Nike used to sponsor me, we still have a great relationship, lots of my clients have deals with them ... I just mentioned if they had any gear you might be able to use and they gave me this. I didn't pay for a thing."

Haley was still looking incredulously at the bag. "Hales, I want to help you. If your doctor says exercising might help you feel better, then I'm going to get you through every excuse and get you running. And I'll be there every step of the way… literally and figuratively." Before she could open her mouth, Nathan continued. "Running really helped me, and not just with the rehab... Just do it," he joked, with a half-smile towards the pile in front of Haley.

She held his eyes and Nathan didn't look away. Finally, she nodded. "Ok."

Nathan let out a breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding and gave her a bright smile. "Great, awesome. Tomorrow morning we'll go for a run."

"Sure."

She took her coffee and headed back upstairs, leaving Nathan feeling oddly lighter as he stood in his kitchen. It wasn't much, but it was a start. He'd wait to tell her Lucas' plans later, he didn't want to push too far, too fast.

Maybe it could be ok, after all.

 **This was another chapter that didn't go the way my head wanted it to go, but let's see if Nathan got through to Haley, if she might be able to start opening up and being more receptive to his ideas to help her. I'm not sure if we ever got Haley's date of birth from the _only_ birthday episode we got on the show, so I'm just using Joy's. The Lydia in my fic happens to share my brother's birthday; he passed away nearly 7 years ago and this is one of the more personal chapters I've written, in terms of using my personal feelings around losing loved ones. Birthdays are a hard thing to navigate when the person is not around to celebrate.**

 **Anyway, next up, Lucas is back! Thank you again for all of your incredible support xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to everyone for such kind reviews and lovely words for the last chapter, especially in regards to my author's note. They really mean a lot to me.**

 **Sorry for anyone who is hanging out for Lucas' arrival, and the arrival of other characters, but I just couldn't get Nathan to shut up in this chapter! They will be coming soon, I promise!**

 **I like being able to insert quotes from the show into this story, and the usual disclaimer applies for the ones that appear here. Thanks again to anyone who is enjoying this fic, you're all so incredibly amazing!**

"I can't ... believe... you do this... every... day..."

Nathan turned to Haley with a grin jogging backwards, slowly, ahead of her. "When I was playing, sometimes I'd run twice a day."

"You're ... crazy..."

His grin got wider. "We're all a little crazy, Hales ... some of us just hide it better than others."

Haley shot him a glare as she huffed out a heavy breath, but Nathan knew she wasn't too angry. To be on the safe side, he added, "At least you look the part."

"Yeah, well ... I may... not be ... a runner... but... I'm still ... a girl...We don't ... turn… down ... free clothes."

Nathan turned to face the way they were heading, allowing his grin to overtake his face in private. He was proud of Haley, and he was also pretty proud of himself. He wasn't entirely sure what would happen when he knocked on her door before 7 that morning, but Haley opened it, dressed in her new workout gear and running shoes. Nathan had to admit that, while he was pleasantly surprised and excited that Haley had stuck to her agreement from the previous day, he'd also felt his eyes widen and his cheeks flush as she bent over to tie her laces. The tight black fabric of her cropped pants fit her snugly, the way they were supposed to for running, but despite her weight loss she still had an enticingly curvy ass. Nathan chastised himself for ogling; it was the most primitive of actions and Haley was the most inappropriate person to be on the receiving end. It had been, Nathan reminded himself, an extremely long time since he'd been with a woman.

Yesterday had been a good day for them, and the memory kept the smile on Nathan's face as their feet slapped against the sidewalk. Haley had gone to another therapy session, but instead of going straight to her room like she had done last week, she joined Nathan in front of the TV where he had been relaxing after work. The two had talked, about nothing of great importance, but it had felt light and natural. He witnessed her sweet, happy smile when he told her that Lucas had finished his book and would be spending the weekend with them. Afterwards, they ordered pizza and Nathan watched happily as Haley devoured her share - more than she'd eaten since she'd arrived.

It was such little things, but Nathan had the double layer of pride knowing that Haley had been able to smile yesterday, on the day after her mother's birthday, and that he had been able to help her with that. The fact that she had kept her word and agreed to go running with him today made him even happier.

The pair reached the edge of a large, tree-lined park and Nathan chose a small bench to prop his leg up on, gently stretching out his injured knee. Haley's chest was heaving with effort to get oxygen, and she bent over, supporting herself with her hands against her knees. Nathan glanced away quickly, but he hadn't missed the view, which was just as curvy and enticing as the one from this morning. He focused on a small terrier that was running alongside a middle-aged man in the distance, trying to catch his breath for entirely different reasons than Haley.

"How are you feeling?"

"Well..." Haley panted, "I can't see how wanting to throw up and then die is a cure for depression."

"It's not that," Nathan smirked. "It's that feeling when your heart is beating so loud, it's all you can hear. It reminds you that you're alive."

Peeking to ensure she was upright again, Nathan turned back towards Haley. She gave him a breathless but acquiescing eyebrow raise, before taking a long drink from her water bottle.

"How's the knee?"

Nathan gave his leg a gentle stretch. "It's ok ... I'm not going to play professional basketball any time soon, but I can still run and play ball with friends, so that's the important thing."

"Was it hard? Giving up the NBA?"

"You know, it's funny ... I thought it would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to go through, and I'm not saying it wasn't hard, but it wasn't as bad as I thought." Nathan admitted. There was a long pause as he thought about his next words, and he noticed Haley watching, patiently. It was as if they had been transported back in time to the stuffy tutor center, where Haley somehow knew she was the only person in the world who would listen to his problems. He was glad he wasn't in that place now, but her listening face was still the same

"I could have made it back, if I'd really wanted to. It was a bad injury, one of the worst they'd seen, but I knew it didn't have to be the end of the NBA for me if I put my mind to it."

"You chose not to go back?" Haley raised her eyebrows curiously.

Nathan expelled a heavy breath. "For the first time in my life, basketball wasn't the only thing I wanted to do. Even before the injury, I could feel things changing but I just couldn't get there. I hated not getting to see Lucas, or my mom that much, I didn't have any real friends, just team mates. Everywhere I went, there would be paparazzi, magazines talking trash about me or whoever I was with, making stuff up... Girls, coaches, sponsors, the public... they treated me like an object, this figure that represented something but it wasn't me. It was like being on one of those hamster wheels - I kept running but I couldn't get off...

"The doctors had ruled out the possibility of a comeback, but I knew, if I spent every waking minute in the gym, every day training hard to get back on my feet and playing again, I'd make it back ... but then I just thought of what I was up against, and realized the end goal wasn't worth it anymore. I didn't like the guy I'd become off the court, but I just couldn't seem to find a way to change..."

Nathan trailed off, and at the same time, two young women walked past. Long blonde ponytails swung prettily, toned bodies were poured into tight clothes not dissimilar to Haley's, but they looked almost sinful as their hips swayed. They had identical, coy smiles on their faces when they spotted the tall, dark-haired man.

"Hi Nathan," they chimed.

Nathan's face contorted into a half-smile, half-grimace in response, but by the time they had walked past and turned back for another eager look, his attention had turned back to Haley. She was still watching the women, an amused expression on her face.

"Sometimes it'd be nice to meet a woman who wants to get to know me. Not someone who wants to be with me because they want that guy from the magazines... or someone who runs away because they think I'm that guy from the magazines..."

Nathan's eyes focused on the approaching man and terrier as he thought about his early days playing professional basketball. He'd loved the attention, how effortless it was for him to satisfy his sexual interests with the plethora of cheerleaders, models, wannabes that threw themselves at him, never asking for love or respect or anything more than one night with the basketball hero. Or maybe they had, and Nathan never heard it. His rookie year in Seattle had been well-publicized, his extraordinary talent and good looks making headlines not just on the sport pages. His first year after being transferred to Charlotte hadn't been much different, but after that he'd started to feel differently. Maybe it was being back in his home state, or the empty, unsatisfied feeling he felt when he'd kick another woman with no self-respect out of his hotel bed. The pang of envy he felt when he watched his friends fall in love and get married. Suddenly, Nathan wanted more and wanted to be more than what those headlines told the public.

"You mean you didn't have a threesome with Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez?"

Haley's voice was so serious and inquisitive that Nathan squawked out a reply before he'd even turned back to look at her.

"No! Of course not! How would that even..."

He trailed off, spying her face. Haley's lips were pursed as if she was trying to compress the smile from taking over her face, and there was a mischievous twinkle in her brown eyes. With the flush of pink over her pale cheeks, she truly was a sight to behold. Nathan sucked in a slow breath, staring at her as he tried to commit the view to his memory. In that moment, they were 17 again - Nathan with the weight of the world on his young shoulders and Haley with the ability to pull him out with a lame joke or sarcastic comment before he sunk too deep into his maudlin moods and refused to study any more. He reveled in the sight of her being able to be that girl, even for a moment, despite how she had been feeling lately.

Haley smiled shyly at his lingering gaze. "I really don't think you have anything to worry about, Nathan."

He inhaled, the fresh air shaking him out of his trance and contemplative mood. He smiled at her, ruefully. "Maybe not, but it hasn't been easy trying to shake that image. I dunno, maybe it's my fault for playing into that sporting celebrity stereotype to begin with. Maybe I'm stupid to think I could change people's minds..."

The two of them started walking slowly out of the park, an unspoken agreement that their first run was over for the day.

"I don't think you're stupid at all." Haley disagreed. "The Nathan Scott that I've seen over this past week and a half has been a pretty amazing guy. The sort of guy who cares about other people... and unless you have a secret access passage to your bedroom, I haven't seen the parade of women in and out that the tabloids say you have."

Nathan gave her another small smile. "It hasn't been like that in a very, very long time. I wouldn't say no to an actual relationship, one that lasted more than a night, but there just hasn't been anyone I've even wanted to get to know. So I've stopped thinking about that part of my life and I'm trying to focus on my career, my friends, helping other people instead of myself..."

"... Like Brooke?"

"Like Brooke," Nathan agreed. "Look, I know the other day was a disaster, but Brooke's changed a lot since high school. She and I, we've always had a lot in common - the same cliques, the same expectations, our parents were like children, and we kind of grew into bad versions of ourselves way too fast... I get the feeling of wanting to change who you've been, or wanting to get away from your parents trying to control your life. I wanted to help her, she deserved that chance ... I couldn't say the same thing about me when you helped me."

Haley's cheeks reddened, deeper than the flush from exercise. Nathan knew how self-conscious Haley was about her actions, or rather their impact on him, but he was never going to stop reminding the girl who thought she was worthless that she had changed his life, given him his hopes and dreams.

"I don't have a lot, but one thing I'm lucky to have is money. If I can invest it in some way, and I can help my friends out, it's a win-win."

Haley nodded, slowly. She lifted her head, her dark brown eyes meeting his blues. "I get it, I do. And I think you're really brave to consider rebuilding who you are. I don't think I could do that."

Nathan gave her another small smile. "You could, if you tried. But the difference between us is that you don't have to. You're already an amazing human being."

He watched with amusement as she turned even redder, turning away with a shake of her head. He allowed the embarrassed silence to stretch, as the pair continued walking towards Nathan's home. It morphed into a more companionable space between them, until Haley spoke up again.

"So, I spoke to the lady at that youth center, Bevin. I'm going to meet with her tomorrow."

"That's great!" This time, Nathan's smile was wide and happy. "It'll be amazing for them to have such a great tutor to help them out. Those kids are pretty lucky."

"Ha, you didn't think so when you were their age."

Nathan threw his head back and laughed at the memories of their tutoring sessions together, how ungrateful he had been. "God, I was such a dick! I don't know how you put up with me."

"Well, the paychecks helped," Haley deadpanned.

They both shared a smile as they turned onto the leafy street Nathan lived on, walking closer to their destination in a comfortable silence again.

"Hey..."

Nathan looked over at the small figure walking beside him. Haley stopped, chewing on her bottom lip the way Nathan knew she always did when she was feeling nervous or vulnerable, before looking back up at him.

"Thank you."

He grinned. It was still early, the early-spring sun still rising in the sky, but it was looking like the start of another good day.

"You're welcome, Hales."


	11. Chapter 11

**I have to apologize, because I really struggled with this chapter and it's really not great. I have spent over a week re-writing it over and over and I'm still not happy with it. It was just a lot harder to feel Haley's voice when she's going through a good patch (hmmm.. I wonder what that says about me?) So yay for Haley but sucks for me. Anyway, I'm really sorry but I promise I'll do my best to make the next chapter a lot better (it has Jake in it, and there's nothing like a bit of Jagielski to perk a story up, right?!) If you're continuing to stick with this story, thank you so much and I love you (always and forever).**

 **Google tells me that the Charlotte Youth Center already exists in Charlotte, NC, and despite the similarities in their purposes, my CYC is entirely fictional and doesn't represent the real one - I'm just too burnt out to think of another name.**

There was an old 80's song stuck in Haley's head, and she sung it loudly within the confines of the small car.

 _Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride, nobody's gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on mooooovin'..._

She had woken up with the chorus reverberating in her brain like a mantra, or possibly a desperate plea. It had stayed with her as she laced up her pretty new running shoes and provided a beat to which her feet pounded along with as she ran with Nathan that morning.

She wasn't sure where it had come from - she hadn't heard the song in years – but it was helping to keep her head above the emotionally churned waters of her depression, helping to build up an armor over her fragile body, and for that she'd take whatever she could get.

The last few days had been easier; the nasty voice in her head quieter, the tears drier. She hadn't felt as numb. It was a blissful reprieve and she was desperate for more.

Oddly, the highlight for Haley had been Nathan opening up to her on their run the day before. Although he was older, more successful and less tortured than his high school self, Haley felt like Nathan still didn't have a lot of people to confide in, and she certainly couldn't imagine him telling Clay, Tim or even Lucas how he wished that girls would want to get to know him for who he is. She couldn't imagine any of them having much sympathy for the former NBA superstar playboy's love life. Something about being someone that Nathan could trust and open up to had really helped Haley feel like she was worth something. It had spread a warmth throughout her constantly cold and brittle body.

Turning the steering wheel with an exaggerated dance movement as she heard the disembodied voice announce that her destination was on the right, she pulled to a stop. The Charlotte Youth Center stood across the road: a large, unassuming brick building with big black double doors. She took a deep, calming breath. Without the purr of the car's engine, the silence was strong, so Haley resumed her singing internally, the words bouncing around loudly in her head.

 _Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride, I'm running and I won't touch ground, oh no, I got to keep on mooooovin'..._

She knew she was trying to fill her body with as much air and catchy 80's pop tunes as possible to prevent the horrible, dark voice inside of her taking control, saying that she wouldn't make a good tutor for the center, that she might ruin some young, impressionable teen's life. It would concoct some other ridiculous notion that prevented Haley from moving, telling her she that she was worthless and would be better off if she stayed in bed and cried.

Today would be good for her, she knew. She couldn't spend her days alone with her thoughts while Nathan was at work. Tutoring would keep her busy and provide her with the distraction she needed; she'd done the same for Nathan all those years ago, when she'd arranged for him to work for Karen. She understood the logic and reveled in the fact that her brain was finally listening to the right voice, the voice that was telling her that she was worth something, that she did deserve more good days and that she was going to be able to step out of this car and face whatever waited for her.

The car itself was a little red sporty one that Nathan had told her to use while she was staying in Charlotte. He had confessed that, as a rookie, he'd felt the pressure to spend his earnings on flashy things, and hadn't considered how ridiculous he'd feel folding his 6'2" frame into the tiny, 2-door vehicle. Regardless, he'd kept it when he moved from Seattle back to his home state, and the beautiful, expensive sports car sat un-driven in his garage until Haley's arrival. Her hands constantly trembled against the wheel, scared she would do something to damage the glossy scarlet paintwork, but it was helpful having her own form of transport without burdening Nathan any more than she already was.

With another long inhalation, Haley opened the door and stepped out, her brisk footsteps in time to the lyrics in her head until she pushed the door open and spotted a familiar figure waiting for her.

"Um ... hi, Bevin?"

The blonde woman beamed, showing off rows of straight, white teeth. "Hi! You must be Haley! I'm Bevin. Bevin Mirskey. It's so nice to meet you!"

Bevin captured Haley's hand in strong grip, shaking it up and down so enthusiastically that it made Haley feel dazed.

"Thanks ... um... we've met before. We went to Tree Hill High together?" Haley reminded her. They had had a few classes together, but not a lot to do with each other during their teenage years. Haley felt confused, wondering why Nathan hadn't mentioned the Bevin at the youth center was the same girl they'd gone to school with.

"Oh yeah! I thought you looked familiar! So what have you been up to?"

Haley opened her mouth to reply, but Bevin charged on in the same excitable tone, without missing a beat. "I went to Duke and studied Law, but then I got married and had a son and my husband made me move to Charlotte because his best friend had just moved here and so I've been working at the center since it opened two years ago, but then we got a divorce."

"Oh ..." Haley blinked, still dazed and weak from using all the energy it had taken her to enter the building. She wondered how it was possible to speak so much without breathing. "I'm sorry."

Bevin shook her head and smiled wider. "Don't be, I hated my husband! Shall I give you the tour?"

Haley nodded, dumbly. She had remembered Bevin Mirskey as a ditsy cheerleader who had been renowned for her airhead comments and certainly not for her intellect.

"I'm sorry ... did you say you went to law school?" Haley asked, as they headed down a corridor together.

Bevin's nod was fast, like the Energizer bunny. "I sure did. I loved it; I graduated at the top of my class."

Haley's face must have reflected the same shock and disbelief she felt internally, because the tall girl beside her laughed. "I know I may have seemed dumb, but I'm not stupid. I'm actually really smart."

"Oh gosh ... I didn't mean ... I mean I know you must be ... I'm sorry... It's just..." Haley felt the heat radiating from her cheeks as she stumbled over her words, mortified at herself for being so rude and assuming.

"It's ok, Haley. I get that a lot. I just acted dumb to make the other cheerleaders feel better about themselves. But I'm not like that now ... I'm sure I'm not the only one who has changed since high school."

Grateful for the reprieve, Haley concentrated on her breathing for a moment before musing, "No, you're definitely not the only one."

"I do miss law, but I like working here. I get to help the people who really need it and I can spend more time with my son. He's 4... Nathan."

Haley waited for Bevin to continue, but she had stopped talking "... Nathan, what?"

"Nathan. That's my son's name. He's 4."

Haley's eyes widened, but before her addled brain could concoct a response, they reached a set of huge double doors, which Bevin pushed open.

In front of them were two massive courts, side by side with bleachers running alongside the far end. One court was clearly used solely for basketball, and even at this early hour there were several boys, all gangly arms and legs, charging up and down. The second court had an assortment of exercise equipment on it, including a punching bag and boxing gloves.

"Obviously physical exercise is important for these kids, for a number of reasons, so we make sure there's lots of space for them," Bevin explained, her voice more serious and authoritative as she gave Haley the tour. "It's usually pretty quiet outside of school hours, but we have kids coming here who have been expelled or suspended, some have dropped out. We try not to discriminate or judge, but do our best to help them and get them back into school or some other type of education."

Haley's eyebrows raised even further, impressed at the facility and of the obvious passion which Bevin spoke.

"So many of these boys want to play in the NBA," Bevin noted, as they walked past the teenagers playing on the court. "So you can see how Nathan is such an influence around here."

They headed up a flight of stairs and Bevin pointed as some doors further down the hall. "Those are the offices for the counselors and career advisers, and this..." she opened the door closest to them with a flourish, "... is where you'll be tutoring."

Haley felt a wave of trepidation as she poked her head inside, as if entering the space committed her to something she didn't necessarily want to be a part of. All conscious thought flew out of her head, however, once she saw the room. Her jaw dropped as she stepped inside to see more.

"This is ... this is... amazing..."

The room was huge and sunlight shone in through the expanse of windows, making it appear bright and airy. There were tables dotted around, as well as large, comfy-looking bean bags. Almost every wall was shelved and filled with rows and rows of books, and the walls that weren't were covered in posters and artwork. While there were plenty of computers, and Haley spotted a few iPads, it was largely a reader's paradise. On one wall, stenciled onto the paintwork was a Toad the Wet Sprocket lyric, identical to the one that hung in Karen's Cafe back in Tree Hill: _Somebody told me that this is the place where everything's better and everything's safe_.

She stepped into the middle of the room and turned a full circle, amazed at the sight.

"This is the tutor center?" Her voice was filled with awe and disbelief.

Bevin nodded, her wide smile still glued to her face. "Yup. Nathan wanted it to be as bright and inspiring as possible, he wanted everyone to be surrounded by books, and to create a place that was really motivating. He told me that the kids just need to know that believing in yourself..."

"... is half the battle." Haley finished in a murmur, remembering a note she had hastily scribbled and folded into a tin as she helped Nathan prepare for his first exam since she had become his tutor, an exam that he had aced, if her memory served her right. She frowned as Bevin's words sunk in.

"Nathan did this?"

"Yeah, he made sure everything was set out the way he wanted," Bevin explained in her standard, vibrant tone, but Haley still felt confused.

"I don't understand ... why would Nathan care about the tutor center here? I thought he just coaches basketball with the kids sometimes for charity work."

Bevin laughed. "I thought I was the only smart girl that pretended to be dumb! Didn't he tell you?"

Haley stared around the room as shook her head, dumbly.

"Nathan's not just a volunteer here; this is his center, his charity. He started this place up two years ago; he always said that kids need somewhere they can go when they feel they had nowhere else. Somewhere with people who would give them a chance, no matter what... He told me that it only takes one person to change someone's life."

Bevin looked around the room as if seeing it through Haley's eyes. "I guess someone really changed Nathan's life once ... it must have been a pretty big deal for him to be inspired to create all of this."

Haley felt the familiar sting of tears prickling around her eyes, but for once, for the first time in a long time, there was no accompanying pain in her chest. She had heard Nathan's words when she first arrived in Charlotte, listened to him insist that she had made an impact on him, changed his life for the better, but to stand in this room and see the way he had been inspired to do the same for other kids was overwhelming.

"Yeah ... I guess so..."

* * *

"Oh my gosh, Nathan, I've never felt more stupid in my life! Why didn't you tell me about Bevin?

Nathan leaned against his soft, plush couch, laughing as Haley hid her face in her hands in mortification.

"I don't know! I didn't think it was that important ..."

"I mean, she went to _law school_... I didn't even think she knew how to read! And she named her son after you!"

Nathan scrunched up his face. "Yeah ... well, that was Tim's idea, obviously..."

"Tim?! Bevin was married to Tim?! Bevin Mirskey?! Tim Smith?!"

Haley's jaw dropped open in blatant shock and Nathan laughed again. The two were waiting for Lucas' arrival that evening, sitting side by side on the couch as Haley filled Nathan in on her day. She'd left the youth center so moved and affected that she couldn't wait to talk to him, with a level of energy and enthusiasm she hadn't felt in months.

"I'm sorry, Hales, I really am. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I didn't even think you knew her that well at school."

"Well, I didn't, but ..." Her face softened. "Weren't you ever going to tell me that the youth center is _your_ charity? That's a big deal, Nathan."

She watched as Nathan shifted uncomfortably on the couch, an unexpected flush creeping up his cheeks. It marveled her, after all he'd said and all she'd seen today, that the cocky, arrogant teenager she used to tutor had turned into such a humble man. The fact that he accredited her for all of it was unfathomable.

"I guess, but it's not about me ... It didn't really matter who set it up, as long as there's a place for those kids. I mean, I know I was lucky, that I even had a dad that pushed me the way Dan did … some of these kids …" Nathan trailed off, shaking his head. "I'm just really grateful I'm in a position to help some of them, to give them a chance."

"But how come the press never mention the youth center? You're doing such an incredible thing for so many kids, Nathan. Surely they'd want to print that instead of making up all that crap about your personal life?"

Nathan shrugged. "They've turned up when we've had fundraisers and they know it's my charity ... but back in my playing days, all they cared about was who I took to those events, who I left with... so we stopped making a big deal and tried other, smaller events to raise money without involving the press."

"Well, regardless of what they say about you, you should be really proud of yourself. That place is amazing. It's so inspiring ... I'm really proud of you, Nathan."

The flush intensified on his face as he threw her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Hales. That means a lot… I'm proud of you too, you know."

"Me? Why?"

"I know it wasn't easy for you, getting out and going there today. It means a lot to me that you did. And for agreeing to come out tonight… I think it will really help. And it'll be fun, I promise."

Haley felt her stomach turn at the mention of their night's plans. Nathan had finally summoned up the courage to tell her that it wasn't just Lucas who would be in town for the weekend, and not even singing her pop song mantra had prevented the anxious lurch in her body. With her brain telling her that nothing good could come of her spending an evening with people that she wasn't even friends with at high school, she wanted to do this for Nathan. She wanted to be able to pretend everything was ok, just for a few hours. For him.

"Which reminds me, I have something for you…"

Haley swiveled on the couch to watch Nathan as he left the room, shortly returning holding two glossy black shopping bags.

"Nike spoiling me again?"

"Not quite … Brooke Davis, instead."

He handed her the bags, which Haley could now see were emblazoned with the Clothes Over Bros logo. She looked up at him, curiously.

"She dropped these off at the office … said you might want something to wear tonight … I think she feels really bad about what happened the other day, wanted to make it up to you."

Haley looked dubiously at the bags; she wasn't that familiar with Brooke's clothing line but she wasn't sure they shared the same fashion sense. The gesture also reminded her of their horrific meeting on her mom's birthday and how she would have to face Brooke again that night. However, it was a kind and unnecessary thing for Brooke to do, and she knew she didn't have anything else to wear - her baggy, ill-fitting jeans certainly weren't appropriate and she hadn't packed for a night out when she dazedly threw clothes into her suitcase for her stay in Charlotte.

Haley opened her mouth to protest, when a loud chiming rung throughout the house, startling her.

"What was that?"

Nathan threw her a cheeky smirk. "That, Hales, is a doorbell. Can you believe I actually have one those?"

"I can believe that, I just didn't think you knew anyone who knew how to use one."

She heard Nathan's laugh and a few seconds later he returned, the familiar sight of her best friend following behind him bringing her comfort and a smile to her face as she jumped up to fold herself into Lucas' arms.

"It's so great to see you, Luke," she whispered into his shoulder.

"It's great to see you, too, Hales…" Lucas held her tightly and Haley started slightly, remembering the day after her mom's birthday when Nathan had hugged her. She was surprised to realize that she had felt just as safe in the younger brother's arms as she did with the person she'd been the closest with for nearly two decades.

"I've got something for you." Lucas broke their embrace and reached into his bag, pulling something out so only the top of a brown paper bag was visible. Haley's eyes widened in shock as she gasped.

"No! How did you get that?"

"I knew a guy who was coming up from Tree Hill to Charlotte this afternoon; got him to stop make a stop to pick this up for you."

Her mouth dropped open. "Oh, Lucas, you shouldn't have!"

"Hey, what are best friends for?"

"If you're smuggling drugs into my house, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I still have a reputation to uphold and even Clay isn't that good at spinning stories…"

Haley laughed, pulling the bag out further to reveal the familiar logo of Lucas' mother's café.

"Karen's mac and cheese!"

"Seriously? You had that brought up all the way from Tree Hill?" Nathan asked, incredulously. "It's just mac and cheese."

Haley gave a theatrical gasp. "It's is _not_ 'just mac and cheese'," she quoted. "It's food of the Gods!"

"Yeah, if the Gods are five year olds."

Haley swatted him, her hand thudding hard against his firm stomach muscles. "Well if you don't want any…"

"Hey, I didn't say that!"

Laughing, she took her precious cargo into the kitchen. It really had been a wonderful day. Maybe a night out wouldn't be as bad as she thought.


	12. Chapter 12

**Firstly, I know I say this every chapter, but thank you SO MUCH for your amazing support with this story. I've just hit over 100 reviews and honestly, every one means so much to me. It's amazing to me that you guys take the time to review and let me know what you think. I love it so much and I'm so grateful. THANK YOU!**

 **Secondly, obviously this is an AU fic and there's so much that is different from the show. I have done my best to incorporate as much back story as I feel is relevant, especially for the secondary characters (ie. anyone that isn't Naley!) I hope that it isn't too confusing that I've changed a lot of their high school years to suit this fic and I hope everything makes sense.**

 **Also, there is a scene here that I've actually borrowed from The Flash. I think it's super adorable and I really, really wanted to use it with our Naley. I've changed a huge part to suit the story, but it's a wee tribute to SnowBarry, hehe.**

 **Finally, I won't be able to update for a few weeks. This chapter is actually two chapters, but I thought the first part was pretty boring and wouldn't work on it's own, so you get two chapters in one for this update. I hope it will be ok to tie you over and I'll try and update again before the end of the month, but it'll be unlikely. I hope you stay with me, though, because I still have so much planned that I'd love to share with you all!**

 **Here's chapter 12!**

"Wait, she _eloped_?"

"Sure did. She's been Peyton Jagielski for the last 7 years. She moved straight to Savannah after high school, married Jake and they have shared custody of Jake's daughter, Jenny. They've been living there happily ever since."

Haley's mouth dropped open in surprise. As they drove to the bar where they would be meeting everyone, Nathan had been filling her in on the unlikely friendships that had occurred since high school, how some very troubled souls had matured. Haley had known Jake Jagielski, but not the truth behind the rumours of his move to Georgia in their junior year. She had learnt how he owned a popular bar in Savannah, renowned for showcasing local musicians, and Peyton had abandoned her studies in art to start a record label. Nathan and Peyton, who had had a volatile and on-again-off-again relationship together in high school, had become close friends over the past few years and caught up whenever they could, especially when Brooke was in town.

"Lucas never stood a chance," Nathan joked, pulling into a parking space and looking over at his brother, who sat in the back seat.

"We were never meant to be," Lucas sighed theatrically. "I couldn't compete with Jagielski."

"Oh well ... Funny how you and Brooke have been in the same city all these years," Haley mused, teasingly.

Lucas shrugged nonchalantly as they entered the bar. The music, thankfully, not quite loud enough to drown out their voices. "It'll just be good to see her again, that's all... hey Nathan, you didn't happen to mention if Brooke's still single?"

"It depends who's asking." A raspy voice spoke up from beside the trio. Brooke stood there with an amused smile on her face. "Broody, nice to see you after all these years."

"Cheery." Lucas' smile as he nodded in reply to Brooke's greeting told Haley that her best friend still indeed had a crush on the former cheerleader.

"Hey Nate ..."Brooke turned towards Haley, who was standing in between the two brothers. "Hey, check you out! You should come to New York and model for me, Tutor Girl"

Haley's face flushed at the compliment. She had been pleasantly surprised at what Brooke had given her. The grey jeans were soft and slid on like butter, their tightness in contrast to a loose and flowing top that had caught her eye in one of the bags. She was sure Brooke had designed it so nothing was worn under the sheer material, but Haley had paired it with a tank top and felt surprisingly pretty and feminine. She felt almost ... normal. Like she was having a night out with friends, like she used to do back in LA. She was even able to tune out the nasty voice inside her head that wanted to remind her that she wasn't in LA anymore, that she hadn't heard from those friends in months.

"Sorry ... Haley." Brooke amended, apologetically.

Haley shook her head with embarrassment. "Thank you for the clothes, Brooke. You really didn't have to go to all that trouble. I can pay you for them..." she trailed off at the blatant lie, but Brooke just waved at the air between them.

"Don't be silly, they look great on you, Haley."

"You know ... Tutor Girl isn't such a bad name. Kind of appropriate, actually."

Brooke's chest deflated in relief as she beamed, and Haley felt similarly as she offered a shy smile. She harbored no ill feelings towards the brunette for what had happened at the start of the week; Haley knew that Brooke had no idea what she had walked in on and she wasn't at fault. It appeared that Brooke was as happy as Haley was to forget the upsetting incident and move on.

For Haley, it was hard to believe that it had just been 5 days ago; the impact of having a run of good days had really helped. On her mom's birthday, she would never have imagined she'd be able to go out with the Scott brothers and some of her old classmates whom she barely knew. She felt the rare gleam of happiness at her achievement.

As Brooke led the trio towards a booth to the side of the room, Haley felt a large hand on the small of her back. Glancing behind her, she noticed Nathan's attention towards the stage - his gesture was seemingly inadvertent as he guided her amongst the crowd. She was aware of how safe she felt, as if she was shielded from harm by his tall physical presence. The music ceased and, after a few cringe-inducing squeals, voices through a microphone filled the room. The music resumed, this time accompanied by amplified singing voices.

"Oh my gosh, we're at a karaoke bar?" Haley exclaimed, dubiously.

She looked at Nathan for an answer, who was still looking up at the stage, a pained expression on his face. "No ... but it looks like tonight happens to be karaoke night."

"That would be my fault," a deep baritone spoke up.

Jake Jagielski was sitting in the corner of the booth. Long gone was his shaggy hair and baby face of his teenage years, shed to make way for a sharp jaw dotted with brown stubble and a shorter, combed hairstyle. Beside him, his wife of 7 years looked like she had come from her senior year yearbook photo; trademark curly blonde hair dancing around her shoulders and a well-worn leather jacket beside her

"Hi guys," Peyton greeted them, pulling her jacket closer and shuffling over to make room for the group to slide in. "It's great to see you all."

"What have you gotten us into, Jagielski?" Lucas joked, once everyone had greeted each other and they were seated.

Jake laughed. "I thought it was an open mic night, thought it might be a good way to source some talent ... I didn't realize it was karaoke until after we got here and I'd already told Nathan to meet here."

"Have you already signed all the best talent Georgia has to offer?" Teased Brooke.

"Actually..." Peyton shared an adoring smile with Jake, "we won't be in Georgia for much longer ... we're moving back to Tree Hill!"

The group expressed their delight and excitement for the couple before Jake continued. "Yeah, Nicki has met some new guy on the West Coast and she's given me sole custody of Jenny. They barely saw each other anyway, Nicki's parents have been doing all the work… anyway, Jenny was really keen on moving back to Tree Hill, so we thought it was about time we move back."

"Tree Hill will always be home," Peyton smiled.

"What about Red Bedroom?" Brooke asked of Peyton's record label.

"I have great staff who can run the Savannah studio for me and I thought I'd just relocate to the business side to Tree Hill and open another studio there. Karen has some office space next to Tric that would be perfect and ..."

"... and she's actually been looking for someone to manage Tric for her," Jake finished, spreading his hands wide.

"That's great, man. It's all working out for you guys. I'm happy for you." Nathan said, and Haley could see how genuinely pleased he was for his friends. She felt a small pang at how her old classmates all seemed so happy and content with their lives. Peyton, Jake, Brooke, Lucas and Nathan had all had less-than-ideal home lives growing up, compared to Haley's stable and loving, though chaotic, childhood. Yet here they were, settling down with amazing careers while Haley was adrift in a turbulent sea. She summoned a smile, determined not to let anything ruin her night.

"We have to celebrate!" Brooke announced with a squeal. "I'll get drinks. Broody, come help me."

This time, Haley stifled a smile at the way Lucas immediately jumped up, jostling their table before following Brooke.

"So it's really good to see you again, Haley." Peyton smiled at her. "I didn't realize ... how long have you two been together?" She looked between Haley and Nathan quizzically.

Haley felt her face flame in acute embarrassment, unable to speak for a moment. Beside her, Nathan answered easily, "We're not dating, Peyton."

"Oh," the blonde looked embarrassed and confused. "But ..."

"Hales is just staying with me for a while."

Haley took a slow, deep breath. She knew that Nathan had kept his word about not telling anyone why she was staying with him, but she was also aware of the awkward situation that put him in, especially with his friends. She knew it wasn't fair to make him lie, or make up excuses for her presence in his home. She still felt the mild thrum of strength and positivity that had been building inside her for the past few days, and she knew if she was ever going to be able to say it out loud, now would be the time.

"I lost my Dad last year and my mom passed away a couple of months ago ... I lost my job and my boyfriend back in LA ... I have been struggling with depression ever since and needed to get away from Tree Hill." She looked up at the azure eyes that were watching her silently. "Nathan kindly offered me a place to stay."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Haley." As Haley subtly attempted to calm her heart rate, which had picked up after her confession, Jake's tone was apologetic but surprisingly matter-of-fact - void of the usual awkwardness and uncertainty that Haley had experienced from others when they heard the news of her bereavements. It was that feeling of guilt that she had unwittingly upset someone due to her personal loss that Haley had struggled with since her father's death, like an added burden every time she had to make someone feel bad with her solemn news.

"I am, too," Peyton spoke up. "I've lost two moms, it's definitely not easy. I'm sorry for your losses. I'm glad you have Nathan to support you."

It hadn't occurred to Haley that Peyton had gone through several difficult losses in her life, losing her adoptive mother at a young age, then forming a friendship with her birth mother only to lose her when they were in high school. Although Haley and Peyton had very different social circles at school, she remembered her efforts in raising money for Breast Cancer research in honor of her birth mom.

A rush of emotion overwhelmed Haley - the relief of being able to confess her depression to Peyton and Jake and not have the awkward or pitying moments following, the realization that she really wasn't the only person in the world to have lost two important anchors in their life, the warmth of support she was receiving from mere acquaintances. Nathan's strong hand slipped to her back again, higher this time in a comforting manner, and she bit down on her bottom lip to prevent tears from shedding.

"Thank you" she managed to choke out, gratefully.

"Grief is such a dark and isolating thing" mused Peyton. "It wants to hold you in its claws for as long as possible. I was so angry for so long, so consumed by the notion that people always leave..."

Haley nodded vigorously as Peyton's words echoed how she had been feeling. Beside her, Nathan was watching Peyton closely, also nodding his head in understanding, as if remembering something.

"I don't think I ever really dealt with my grief until after I left school and moved to Savannah. Realizing that I wasn't alone, that I always had someone there to support me made a huge difference... It's probably why my dad is always at sea, he doesn't want to come home, be alone with those memories." Peyton shared another loving smile with her husband. "It's only now I feel like I can move back to Tree Hill and appreciate all the memories the town brings back, instead of drown in them."

Haley nodded. "Yeah... I know I'll have to go back one day, but right now I just can't face it."

Peyton's curls bounced as she nodded understandingly. "Take your time... I know it's so hard to see it now, but it really does get better. It definitely still hurts sometimes, but personally I have so much less anger and so much more acceptance. It just takes time to deal with everything. Music was a great outlet for me, listening to it, producing it ... music always helps, no matter what you're going through."

Jake nodded his agreement. "Yeah, I know when I was going through all that drama with Nicki, nothing helped more than writing it all down. And performing? That rush beats everything."

Haley looked down at her hands. "I used to write music," she admitted, quietly, feeling the heat in her cheeks at her confession. "My dad taught me how to play piano and guitar and I've been singing before I could walk."

She could feel Nathan's surprise before he spoke. "I didn't know that."

"My family know that side of me, but I've never really performed... I used to play a little during college, but then I met Chris and he was so caught up on being discovered that I never really had time to focus on my own music."

Haley swallowed back memories of going from one open mic night to another all throughout Los Angeles as her ex-boyfriend desperately tried to be noticed, to secure a touring opportunity. If she wasn't at school, she was helping him promote his self-made EP. He'd never given her the time to pursue anything outside of his own career.

"Well you should try and get back into it!" Peyton encouraged, enthusiastically. "Write all your feelings out and when you're ready you can come and test out my new studio in Tree Hill. I'll produce some tracks for you, make a demo."

Haley shook her head, vehemently. "No, no, no ... I definitely don't want a career in music ... but it might be kinda cool to record something, for fun?"

She had spent a lot of time in studios with Chris, and had always been fascinated with how the recording process worked. She had to admit that Peyton's offer was tempting; it would be nice to be the one to feel like a rock star for a change.

Brooke and Lucas returned with drinks and Brooke handed around tall champagne glasses filled with a sparkling orange liquid.

"Bellini's all round! Since we're celebrating."

Haley nodded as she took her glass, before Nathan leaned in close to whisper in her ear. The earthy, fresh scent of his cologne filled her senses.

"Look, I know it's not my place but ... are you ok to drink? You know, with the medication and all..."

Haley peered into her glass curiously, as if the answer lay in the fizzing drink. "I don't think one could hurt..."

She had never been much of a drinker at the best of times, but she didn't want to draw attention to herself by refusing. She felt like an insecure teenager again, surrounded by the pretty and popular Tree Hill crowd, desperate to fit in and be noticed.

"To great friends! Old and new." Brooke cheered, raising her glass into the middle of the table and smiling at Haley and Lucas

Haley raised her class, hearing the clinks around her. Beside her, Nathan did the same.

"To great friends!"

* * *

Several hours later found Nathan still sitting in the booth, nursing a beer. Brooke had commandeered the girls to the dance floor and when he had last spotted Haley, she was dancing freely with a happy smile on her face. Nathan couldn't put into words how happy it had made him, to see her smile and enjoy herself. He had felt nervous as they left for the bar earlier; Haley had started to seem more like her old self and he didn't want anything to ruin that.

Jake had just excused himself for the bathroom. On stage, Tim - who had arrived late as usual - was performing his best Hammer dance moves to MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This", swapping the lyrics to "stop ... Timmy Time." Nathan had noticed that the crowd around the bar grew when Tim took the stage, desperate for more alcohol to drown out the sound, Nathan assumed.

He was deep in thought and didn't realize he was no longer alone until Peyton spoke up.

"I saw you sitting here by yourself ... it used to be our signal."

Nathan smirked at her with the face that had graced hundreds of magazine covers. "Jagielski not doing it for you, huh? You come back for a little more of that magic?"

"Urgh!" The curly-haired blonde exclaimed, playfully pushing him sideways. "In your dreams."

Nathan burst out laughing. "It's been a long time since you've been in my dreams, Sawyer ... Jagielski" he amended. His laughter faded and his tone turned serious as he raised something he had been thinking about just before. "But I owe you an apology ... for a lot of things back then, but I'm sorry about how I treated you. You had gone through so much and I was never there for you. I was such an ass."

"Oh God," Peyton closed her eyes and shook her head. "Honestly, Nate, we are so past that. We were kids."

"Maybe we were, but you needed someone to be there for you and support you and I only thought about myself. I am really sorry, Peyton."

Peyton smiled and leaned into him, giving him a one-armed hug. "You're forgiven, Nate. You've always been forgiven. You know, I know I've said this before but I'm really proud of you. You've become such an amazing man. Haley's lucky to have you."

"I told you before that we're not dating."

"I know, I know... but as a friend. She's really lucky to have you. It's a pretty cool thing you're doing for her."

Nathan offered her a half smile as he stared into his beer, embarrassed.

"You know," Peyton spoke up again before Nathan had the chance to speak, "I was always kinda jealous of Haley back in high school."

Nathan frowned at his beer. "Really? Why?"

"She just seemed so comfortable and together ... at a time when we were all at our least comfortable with ourselves. And I always noticed that you came back from your tutoring sessions with her less... tortured? You were never happy back then, but you were always at your closest after you'd seen her."

Nathan raised his eyebrows at her confession. He couldn't really remember anything specifically, but Haley had been so under his radar in high school. He knew he used his tutoring sessions to vent to the girl who was so quiet and almost stealthy in the way she doled advice, making a difference to his life without him even noticing it. Looking back now, he knew Peyton was probably right on her observation. Despite the time that had passed, he couldn't help but feel bad; it was just another way he was the worst boyfriend to a more deserving girl back then.

Jake appeared at their table and slid in opposite his wife and Nathan. "Don't tell me you're trying to steal my girl, Scott."

"I'm pretty sure it was you who stole my girl, Jagielski," Nathan joked, as Peyton moved around the table to greet Jake with a kiss. "But I'll let it slide."

Jake laughed and took a sip of his own beer. On stage, Tim had just finished his performance, protesting loudly over the microphone about the chorus of boos he was receiving from the crowd. Jake laughed again, before saying, "speaking of girls, what is Brooke feeding Haley? I just walked past them and she seems pretty wasted, man."

Nathan sat up, more alert. "Really?"

Peyton frowned at her husband. "Are you sure? She's probably only had two or three drinks."

"She's on medication – anti-depressants and the odd sleeping pill," Nathan confessed. "I think two or three drinks is definitely enough to get her wasted with those on board." He drained his glass as he stood up. "I better go and find her."

Another squealing sound came through the speakers that filled the bar and Jake raised his eyebrows as he looked towards the stage. "Uh … I think you've found her."

"Nathan Scott!" Haley's voice filled the room and Nathan looked up to see her small figure on stage, gripping the microphone tightly. "Come on down … or up … come up here!"

Nathan's jaw dropped and he felt his eyes widen almost comically. Surely Haley wasn't suggesting he get up on stage and sing?

"Come on Nathan!" she cheered. "Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!"

The former NBA player had heard his name chanted like that thousands of times before, but he was never putting himself into humiliating situations out on the basketball court. As the crowd in the bar began to chant his name, Nathan started to panic. He slowly slunk up to join Haley onstage, desperate to quieten her.

"Hales … this really isn't a good idea," he mumbled, mortified as she thrust a second microphone into his hand. Her movements were large and exaggerated, and he knew the few drinks she'd had had definitely affected her more with her medications on board. He heard the cheering around him, and to his horror, several faces were obscured as phones were raised, undoubtedly turned to their camera apps to capture every moment of his humiliation. He caught sight of Brooke and Lucas together at the bar, snickering. He shot them an evil glare. Traitors.

"Come on, it'll be fun! I need a Danny to my Sandy! We're going to blow this place down! "

Before he could protest further and usher his roommate off the stage, an ascending chord progression sounded out over the speakers. Haley bopped her head in time to the music and began singing, unaware that the lyrics were colored blue to indicate a male singer.

"Summer lovin', had me a blaaaast…"

Nathan wondered if perhaps Haley had exaggerated her music talents earlier, or if her entire family was actually tone deaf, as her voice struggled to hit the right notes. She kept singing, her eyes were closed and despite her inebriation, Nathan couldn't help but think she actually looked quite happy. Who was he to behave like an overprotective ass and stop her?

"Summer lovin', happened so faaaast…"

Holding the microphone as if it were a deadly weapon that might detonate any second, Nathan spoke into it with no musical inflection whatsoever:

"Met a girl, crazy for me."

"Met a boy, cute as can beeeee…"

Their voices mixed, Haley's melodic but still drunkenly off-key, and Nathan's as monotonous as physically possible.

"Summer days, drifting away to-uh, oh those summer nights..."

Nathan glanced over, concerned as Haley's dance moves became more erratic, noticing that they were quite close to the edge of the stage. She kept singing as he watched.

"Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh….

With an untimed and overly enthusiastic pelvic thrust that propelled her forward, Haley tripped over the cords that snaked around them from the microphones, stumbling into the screen that displayed the lyrics before toppling off the stage altogether with an almighty crash. Ignoring the piercing squeals of the protesting microphone as Nathan threw his on the ground, he vaulted over the screen and onto the ground beside Haley, who was groaning and holding her ankle. Without a further thought, Nathan scooped her small frame easily in his arms and carried her off to a chair in a quieter, less populated space of the bar.

"Hales, are you ok?"

She groaned again. "I think I twisted my ankle…"

"Wait here." He sprinted to the bar to grab a couple of water bottles before heading back, Brooke and Lucas on his tail.

"Drink this," he commanded, twisting the cap off the bottle of water and handing it over.

"I'm so sorry!" Brooke look horrified as her hands covered her mouth. "We didn't drink that much, honestly… We were having so much fun! I didn't think she was that drunk."

Haley looked up at Nathan, her soft brown eyes almost doe like and innocent. "I didn't mean to drink more… I just wanted to fit in. It's _Brooke Davis_! She's the most popular girl in school!"

Nathan sighed, patting her gently. "It's ok, Hales. As long as you've been having a good time."

Haley nodded eagerly. "I have, I have!" Her face dropped as she clutched her stomach "Urrghh…"

"Ok Sandy, I think it's time I take you home." He looked over at Lucas. "Are you coming?"

"Uh…" his blonde brother glanced slyly at Brooke. "I'll catch a cab later…"

Nathan slung his arm under Haley's, supporting her as she draped her other arm around his shoulders, hobbling along beside him and leaning heavily against his body. He was reminded again of how small she was.

"I'm so sorry" she mumbled, her s's slurring against each other as the cool night air hit their faces. "I'm sorry…"

"You don't need to apologize, Hales."

"It was _Brooke Davis_! She's the prettiest girl in school… and she wanted to talk to me! I just wanted to fit in," Haley repeated.

Nathan stifled a smile as they approached his car. "We're not in high school anymore, Hales. You do fit in."

Haley uttered another indecipherable groan before lurching sideways, clutching her stomach again. Nathan cringed and turned away as the sound her retching filled the night air. Swallowing hard, he turned back in order to pull Haley's long, curly dark blonde hair away from her face with one hand, the other gently rubbing her back as she vomited onto the road. He couldn't stand other people being sick, and willed the bile in his own stomach to stay down.

"Urrgghh…"

"I guess this is why alcohol and medication don't mix" Nathan mused, mostly to himself. He passed her the second water bottle that he had gotten inside. Haley spat a few times and stood up, wearily. Her eyes were watery and she looked close to passing out.

"You ok?"

She nodded slowly and Nathan gently released her hair. Opening the car door for her to get inside, he wondered how safe his Range Rover would be from Haley's stomach contents. He was glad he hadn't drunk enough to still be able to drive as they sped down the quiet Charlotte streets. He'd hate to be stuck in a cab with a nauseous Haley. He knew she'd be feeling miserable tomorrow. Although cursing himself for letting her go off and drink more without his knowledge, he was also aware that he wasn't her keeper. He also knew he'd have struggled to stop her, just like he hadn't been able to stop her from getting him up for karaoke. There was something about the look on Haley's face when she was happy that he just couldn't refuse. He'd do anything to keep that happiness in her eyes.

They pulled up to his house without further incident and he helped his former tutor up the stairs and to his guest room where she had been staying for the past two weeks. Staggering from his embrace, Haley limped into the room, hauling off her sheer Clothes Over Bros top as she went. Nathan suddenly found himself transfixed and unable to move as she wriggled her arms underneath the black tank top she was wearing, and after a long minute she triumphantly pulled out her bra from beneath it.

"Ta da!" she exclaimed, tossing the bra down on the ground. Her hands went to her pants and Nathan watched her fingers as they fumbled to pop open the top button and work the small zipper down. Wiggling her hips side to side in an exaggerated manner that had Nathan's eyes following them like pendulums, she pushed the skin-tight fabric down her legs.

"Ahhhh…" Haley's voice excluded relief. She crawled over her bed, kicking the jeans off past her ankles and sprawled out over the covers once she reached her pillow.

Nathan swallowed hard. It had been hard to miss the display that her round, shapely ass had put on as she moved her way up the bed. It was so entrancing that he'd barely had the chance to watch the sway of her breasts, free from their confines inside her bra. He squeezed his eyes closed and lifted his head to the ceiling, simultaneously envisioning what he had seen seconds before and chastising himself for being unable to watch her drunken exhibition. It had been inappropriate each time he had found himself watching her in her running clothes and it was even more so tonight, with her inhibitions further lowered due to the mix of alcohol and prescription medication in her system. He sighed a long whoosh of breath.

"Nathan?" Haley's voice was quiet and timid.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Nathan saw her dark blonde hair in a riot of natural curls spread out across her pillow. Her legs, short but shapely, stretched out, pale against the dark blue comforter. Haley's dark brown eyes were half-closed and he knew sleep wouldn't be far away.

He moved around the bed, pulling the comforter out from under her legs and throwing it back over, so her body was covered. He sat on the edge of the bed in the space beside the curve her hips and gently rubbed his hand along her exposed arm.

"Of course I will."

"'Night, Nathan." Her eyes fluttered open and met his own as she spoke again. "Thank you for tonight, I had so much fun."

They slid shut and Nathan knew that unconsciousness wasn't far away. Still, he sat comfortably on the bed as he watched her.

"You're welcome, Hales… good night."


	13. Chapter 13

**I apologize to anyone who has been waiting for an update... I was given a great opportunity at work that I needed to focus on, and then when I got the time to write, it was a bit of a struggle getting back into it! In my frustration over re-writing this chapter over and over, I managed to delete my story outline as well, so I'm a bit annoyed about that but hopefully I'll be able to keep this story on track.**

 **For those of you wondering, this certainly isn't going to be a short fic and it's definitely going to be a slow burn. I hope you're enjoying reading this Nathan and Haley's journey. I love hearing from you and reading the reviews so if you have an account with this site, please log in and review so I can message you to say thanks! It's really helpful to get feedback, because I feel like I've been struggling getting the thoughts from my head down onto the screen and I only want to keep writing if people are enjoying the ride so far.**

 **I also think that at this point I should apologize for any errors ... while I don't think I'm as grammatically incompetent as a reviewer pointed out, I do get very sick of my own writing and any chance of proof-reading is pretty slim! Also, I'm not American and rely on spell check and the wonderful Jill to make sure I get everything as accurate as possible. I figure that most of you are American, or are more accustomed to US spellings and British English can be a bit jarring.**

 **ANYWAY, thanks again and I hope to keep the updates coming a little more frequently. X.**

Haley's bare thigh was pressed hard against Nathan's hip, and hands slid up the silky skin to the curve of her ass, simultaneously kneading the firm flesh whilst pushing her towards him, closer, closer. She was everywhere, surrounding him with warmth and breathy moans, and his hands had never felt so small, desperate to touch every bared inch of her soft, pale skin.

He could feel the throb of her pulse in her neck, right where his lips were attached. Her heat scorched him but he couldn't pull away to save himself. Her body arched into him, her neck bared as she threw her head back. From her mouth, which was opened in indescribable ecstasy, came a low, reverberating ...

Snore...

Nathan shot up and was off the bed in one, fluid movement, as if it had stung him. Haley remained, flat on her back with her mouth open, her soft snore filling the room as the back of her tongue hit the top of her throat in her unconsciousness. Nathan's heart was pounding a rapid staccato and he desperately gulped mouthfuls of air to calm his body down.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself. It had felt so real; Haley had felt so real. He had been so tired last night that he wanted to lie down until he knew that Haley was definitely asleep and comfortable, and had clearly drifted off himself. When he could trust his body to move, he eased out of his spare bedroom - Haley's bedroom - and out into the hallway.

He was surprised to see his hands shaking, and he braced them against his knees as he continued to catch his breath. He'd been no stranger to sex dreams over the past year - nameless, faceless women with long, silky hair and firm, curvy bodies filling his subconscious as he slept. He'd gotten used to waking up, hard and aching, and occasionally even in a mess. His body had become so accustomed to frequent gratification since his early teenage years that it was simply his coping mechanism since he'd become his only sexual partner since his accident. But nothing had ever felt so real before, and he'd never dreamed about someone he actually knew.

It wasn't that Nathan didn't want to have sex with a woman, but his accident and departure from professional basketball had been the perfect chance to escape the hedonistic lifestyle he'd found himself in and focus on what he knew would be truly important to him in the long run - his agency, charity work, meaningful relationships. The only problem had been that he hadn't found anyone suitable to start a meaningful relationship with; his attempts at dating always ended after the first one, when the woman invariably found herself with a man not like the one she expected, or Nathan himself unable to put up with the awkward silences or shallow conversations. It had surprised everyone, not in the least his own mother, who had taken to texting Lucas for gossip that the magazines no longer provided. It was highly inappropriate.

At the thought of appropriateness, Nathan blanched. Haley had done nothing but give him chances and opportunities, convincing people who had long written him off to believe in him the way she seemed to. She had changed his life and all he wanted to do was to help her, in whatever feeble way, to get her past her depression. It wasn't as if he actually wanted her… was it? He shook his head to himself, partially to dismiss the thought and partially to physically shake the image of Dream Haley's naked body from his brain. No, Haley was vulnerable and depressed. She'd been broken. She was a poor victim of his underactive sex life and the ogling he'd caught himself doing over her body and allowing his subconscious to feature her in his sex dreams was the most unhelpful and inappropriate action he could think of. He felt disgusted at himself, like he was some predatory pervert whose mind preyed on the weak and vulnerable. His job was to help Haley get better. This wouldn't help.

Thank God it hadn't been a wet dream.

Having sufficiently calmed his body down, Nathan headed to his room, changing his clothes and tying up his running shoes. He had a lot of pent-up energy to burn.

* * *

By the time Nathan had gone for his run, lifted some weights and showered, he found Peyton in the kitchen, standing in front of his fridge. He'd received a text from her before he had fallen asleep the night before, asking if she and Jake could stay at his house. He suspected they had no intention of sharing the hotel suite that Brooke had booked for them, and the room his brother was meant to be staying in would remain empty, so he'd responded yes.

"Morning," he greeted her. "Good night?" He tossed Peyton a water bottle and began pulling pancake mix and milk out to prepare breakfast.

Peyton groaned. "Urgh. You'd think after over a decade of drinking with Brooke Davis, I'd learn my limits." She chugged some water, swallowed, and said, "No, it was a good night. I just feel the hangovers more these days... Things got pretty crazy after you left"

"Crazier than singing karaoke and falling off the stage?"

"Ok, yeah, you have a point ... How's Haley this morning?"

Nathan shook his head, swallowing hard. "I haven't seen her."

 _Since I bolted out of her room after having a sex dream about her_ , he thought to himself.

"You know, I think she really appreciated having you to talk to," Nathan changed the subject. "Thank you for what you said to her last night."

Peyton shrugged, nonchalantly. "I get what she's going through. She's had a lot of loss in such a short time. Sometimes it's good to feel understood, and to see someone come through something she's going through."

Nathan nodded, thoughtfully. "I think that's why I'm pretty hopeless at helping her. I can't understand what she's feeling - my parents are hardly the loving, supportive influences that I'd hate to lose."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Nate. She was telling us how she couldn't even get out of bed a month ago. You're making a difference; all she needs is someone stable in her life, to keep supporting her and helping her find herself again."

 _And not dream about grinding themselves all over her naked body_ , Nathan added, silently.

"She seems quite into her music," Peyton was saying. "I mean, I don't think drunken karaoke is quite her style, but I'd love to have her come and check out the new studio in Tree Hill sometime. And music is such a great healing mechanism."

Nathan nodded, absently. "Yeah, I didn't realize she played any instruments or anything."

"She was telling me and Brooke at the bar last night that she didn't get a chance to pursue it in college because of her ex. He sounds like a real piece of work... arrogant, self-centered, only focused on his dreams and what he wants..."

"Sounds like you and Haley don't just have music in common, but shitty taste in ex boyfriends, too."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Don't be self-deprecating, Nate. It doesn't suit you. And stop being so hard on yourself! You're not that guy anymore, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. It's why I can't get a date anymore," he grumbled. "The ladies only love asshole Nathan."

Peyton laughed, coming up beside him to rub his shoulder affectionately. "Don't worry, Nate. You'll find someone to have that loved up bliss with, like me and Jake. Some things are just worth waiting for."

Nathan watched another pancake as it flipped in the air, landing back into the pan in his hand with a sizzle. "I hope so, Peyton. I really do."

"You know, you're different with her."

"With who?"

"Haley ... I mean, I know you've changed a lot, Nate, but you're even more so with her. I've never seen you like this."

Nathan wasn't sure he wanted to hear more, but he couldn't help but ask, "Like what?"

Peyton shrugged. "Protective. Caring. Almost ... doting."

"Yeah... well ... Haley's been through a lot and she's helped me so much. I owe it to her to help her, too."

"Mmm-hmm..." Peyton made a non-committal humming noise and Nathan wasn't sure if she believed him. "If that's all it is."

"What else would it be?"

She shrugged again, and Nathan started to feel irritated towards her faux-nonchalance. "I don't know ... maybe that is all it is."

"It is."

"Ok."

"Ok."

"Good."

"Good."

Peyton gave him a blindingly bright smile, before asking, "Where's the maple syrup?"

Nathan shook his head. His friends were weird.

* * *

Haley's head was throbbing, but she was surprised to find that it wasn't much worse than the first night she took sleeping pills. It was the shame and humiliation which seemed to hurt more, creeping into every crevice of her body as she tried to move - although, she realized, that could just be her twisted ankle.

She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. She hadn't even noticed the couple of drinks she'd had after the first one, and hadn't even thought about it mixing with her medications. She was just having a great time, caught up in Peyton's stories about the music industry and Brooke's questions about Lucas. It had just hit her, like a sudden, gentle tip of the scales that threw her from adorably tipsy to falling-off-the-stage-and-throwing-up drunk. The shame of being so needy and insecure wasn't something Haley was used to. She was always used to being relatively happy in her own skin.

 _Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride_ ... except a stupid, twisted ankle, she thought angrily, mentally scowling at how her catchy 80's anthem had deceived her.

Every time she thought about moving off the bed and going downstairs, she heard laughter coming up from the kitchen. She imagined they were all talking about her, how she'd gotten so drunk, how she'd made a fool of herself. It made the voice inside of her brain laugh viciously, so she stayed where she was, avoiding everyone.

The knock on her door was soft and it made Haley realise that she hadn't heard the laughter for awhile, that the house had gone silent. She looked up to see Nathan's ocean blue eyes watching her.

"Hey, you're up."

She nodded in reply, and as he eased into the room, Haley could see that his hands were full.

"How are you feeling?"

She watched silently for a moment as Nathan sat next to her feet at the end of the bed and, with the experience of a professional athlete, began to wrap her swollen ankle in a bandage. His hand practically covered her entire foot; she felt small, but safe.

"I don't really remember much of last night," she confessed.

"Really?" Nathan arched an eyebrow. "Summer lovin'..."

"Oh, so now you can sing?" Haley accused, with a light laugh. "Oh God, Nathan ..." She buried her face in her hands. "I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"From what I remember, I dragged you up on stage and humiliated you, I fell off the stage and humiliated you, and then I threw up and disgusted you."

"Hmm... sounds like you remember quite a bit, then."

The laughter in his voice was evident, but Haley still cringed. "And I'm fairly sure that I wasn't alone in the room last night when I took my clothes off?"

She couldn't bring herself to look at Nathan, so she missed the blushing of his cheeks. He secured the bandage and gave her foot a light pat, before propping it up on a pillow and wedging some ice that he had brought with him underneath it. "Look, Hales, you didn't humiliate me. Not at all. You don't need to apologise. I'm just glad you're ok.

Haly gave him a small smile, not for the first time marveling at how caring Nathan had become. "Peyton and Brooke are going to think I'm an idiot."

"They don't, honestly. Brooke feels awful, she had no idea you were on medications and she was just so glad you were talking to her after what happened when she turned up here. And Peyton is planning your career as a rockstar as we speak."

He gave her a genuine smile, patted her leg again and stood. "I mean it, Hales ... don't let those voices get to you. No one is laughing at you. Yeah, you made a mistake, but you had a fun night last night. Don't let anything take that away from you."

She watched him as headed towards the bedroom door, wondering if he could read her mind or just always knew what to say to her these days.

"Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He smiled again. "You have to stop thanking me, Hales. I'm happy to help."

Haley settled back against her pillow as he left the room. She felt a wave of calm, of contentment that she hadn't felt in a long time, but was beginning to associate with Nathan. She hadn't succumbed to the negative voice, to the thick, black heaviness that had been in her constant presence for months. Maybe she would be ok. Maybe there was an end in sight to her depression. Maybe things could be good again.

At least that's what she thought until her phone rang.


	14. Chapter 14

**To the reviewer who mentioned Haley's writing - don't worry, that's yet to come. Hopefully I've already planted the seed for Haley's musical side to grow, but yes, music and songwriting will play a big part in her healing journey. Just remember that Haley's still finding her feet on that journey! To the other reviewer, and anyone else who is eager to see some progress on the Naley relationship front ... well, you'll probably hate me after this chapter! I have everything planned out, and I realize it's hard when you have to wait a week or more between each chapter, so I'm sorry. I'm not rushing these two and I hope I've shown you what's going on in their heads - where Nathan is at in terms of wanting a proper relationship with the right woman, and how insecure and fragile Haley is feeling after the loss of the people who loved her the most. The timeline of this story hasn't even hit 3 weeks, so I realize it's been slow (and it won't always be this slow!) but we will get there.**

 **This one isn't my best, but it's super long and I had a lot to cover!**

"What do you mean you have to go back to Tree Hill?"

Haley sighed, fiddling with her phone in front of her. It was Sunday evening; Peyton and Jake had gone home and Nathan, Haley and Lucas were at Nathan's house before Lucas' (and Brooke's) flight to New York. Nathan had thought that Haley had been ok the day before, when he'd gone in to check on her and wrap her ankle, but the woman that emerged an hour later from her room was withdrawn and quiet, although she had been trying hard to enjoy the company of his friends. She had, when questioned, insisted she was ok, and Nathan wondered if she was letting the doubts and negativity get to her, embarrassed over her antics on her night out. It turned out, though, that that wasn't that case.

"Vivian called. She and Drew are the executors of Mom's will and... well, they want to start clearing out the house to sell."

"So why do you have to be the one to do it?"

"Well... it's not just me. Viv said that Matthew is free to fly in on Friday so he can help me over the weekend... she didn't realize that I'm actually not staying in the house at the moment..."

Nathan frowned. He had no idea who these people were, but he safely assumed they were her many, useless, uncaring siblings. What he hadn't realized, though, was that only he and Lucas had known Haley's whereabouts for the past couple of weeks.

"Well, at least it's Matthew," Lucas pointed out. "It could be worse."

Haley seemed distracted and pensive, but this time, Lucas caught the frown on Nathan's face. "Matthew is probably Haley's least frustrating sibling," he explained. "Apart from Quinn, those two are probably the closest because they've both been living in California."

"Just tell them you can't do it." Nathan insisted, turning towards Haley.

She shook her head. "I can't do that, Nathan. It's a big job and it's got to start sometime. I'm sure they'll all pitch in eventually."

"Yeah, like they all pitched in to help with your parents' funeral arrangements?"

Haley shook her head again, this time dismissing Nathan's pointed comment.

"I'm serious, Haley. Where have they been for the last few months? The last few weeks? How is it possible that no one else knew that you weren't even in Tree Hill?"

Nathan's voice was loud and accusing, but he couldn't help it. Haley shrank back.

"Do they even know you've been diagnosed with depression? I mean you said so yourself that you're not ready to go back to Tree Hill. And to go back to start clearing your parents' house out? Next weekend? That's ridiculous, Haley."

Nathan could feel his blood starting to boil and he noticed her full name roll off his tongue instead of 'Hales' as he'd gotten used to calling her. Haley's lips were set in a stubborn line and she was still shaking her head.

"You just don't get it, Nathan."

"Yeah, Haley, I don't. I couldn't possibly imagine what it's like to have a family that doesn't give a shit about you unless they want something. I couldn't imagine what it's like to not have any family when you need them the most, to have family that's selfish and manipulative..."

Lucas coughed at Nathan's blatant sarcasm. "Present company excluded, I hope."

Nathan ignored him. "Haley, your priority is to get better. The only way you're going to be able to do that is if you look after yourself, protect yourself. Not throwing yourself back into a situation that's going to be difficult for you before you're ready for it."

"Nathan, it'll be fine," Haley insisted. "I'll just go back for the weekend, Matthew and I can start sorting out some stuff and then I'll come back. I'll just make a start. I owe it to Mom and Dad, at least."

"You owe no one nothing." Nathan declared. "Look, Hales... I'm trying really hard to help you, but..."

"No one asked you, Nathan!"

Haley's outburst was met with silence. Lucas was looking between his brother and his best friend, apprehensively. Nathan sucked in a slow breath.

"Look, I didn't mean it like..."

"No, no, Haley, you're right," Nathan interrupted her hurried defense. "I'm just providing the roof over your head until you feel strong enough to go back to Tree Hill. What you do is none of my business. It's not my place to interfere."

"You're not, it's just ..."

"It's just that I don't understand," he finished for her. "I got it."

He held up his hands to indicate that, as far as he was concerned, it was the end of the conversation. Looking towards his brother, he said, "Luke, I'll wait for you in the car?"

Lucas opened his mouth, but closed it again, before nodding. "Uh, sure."

Without another word, Nathan turned and left the room, leaving a shocked pair of best friends in his wake.

* * *

"Why do you think Nathan is so angry about you returning to Tree Hill?"

Haley twisted her fingers, nervously. The plush beige couch almost swallowed her and it was surprisingly softer than what she expected for a therapist's office. She took a sip of water and placed the glass neatly on the coffee table in front of her before replying.

"I don't know ... I guess ... he's worried that going back might be too much for me right now, might make the depression worse when I've just started to have a few good days."

The therapist, Olivia, nodded slowly. "What do you think?"

Haley sighed. She hated when Olivia asked her these questions. Haley was always used to knowing the answer; Olivia had a way of expecting an answer that Haley felt like she could never get right.

"I mean, he's right ... and I know everything he said is true. I said I didn't want to go back. Being away from all those memories, being here in Charlotte, it's been nice, it's been helpful. I'm so grateful to Nathan for everything he's done... But I have to go back at some point..."

Still twisting her fingers in front of her, Haley took a deep breath. "I think I can manage it, though. Just for a short time, and it'll be great to see Matthew... I mean I don't _want_ to have to go back yet, but Mom and Dad wouldn't want the house just sitting empty like how I left it. And it'll be a big job to start sorting through everything and I'd like to be a part of it... And, honestly, I don't think most of my brothers and sisters would do a good job, even if they were there to help."

"Tell me about your siblings." Olivia changed track.

Haley sighed again - it was a big ask. "Andrew - Drew - is the oldest, he's 40 and we don't really know each other that well." She shrugged. "I mean he left home when I was so little. He's got a wife and three kids and lives in Florida. Vivian is next, she's always wanted to be like Mom, I think... She tries to be like Mom, but it just comes across so bossy, and Mom was never like that... she has seven kids as well, but I think it's a been a struggle. Her husband travels a lot and she's busy, so ..."

"And she's the one who called you?" Olivia asked.

Haley nodded. Taking another sip of water, she continued. "Jimmy Jr - we call him JJ - and he's a bit like Dad. Quiet, keeps to himself. He's a single Dad with two kids in Chicago. Then there's Quinn... Quinny is ... beautiful, creative, talented... she's a photographer. We've always been quite close, growing up I wanted to be just like her. Last I heard from her, she's thinking about leaving her husband, which is just crazy because she and David have the best marriage I know, so I don't know what's going on." Shaking her head, Haley realized that she hadn't heard what had happened with her favorite sister's marriage. She had spoken to Quinn just before she left Tree Hill, but the conversation was one-sided with Quinn ranting over how she felt like David didn't love her anymore and Haley numb, quiet.

"Then there's Matthew, he's definitely my favorite brother and we're pretty close as well ... I mean, until Mom and Dad died, then I haven't heard much from him ... he lives in California as well... I mean, when I used to live there... Then there's Taylor, she's the wild child. She's always been trouble, always going out of her way to shock people and it drove Mom and Dad crazy... and then there's me." She shrugged. "That's all of us."

Olivia nodded, her pen resting lightly against the pad of paper on her lap. "Why do you feel like you have to be responsible for your parents?"

"I don't know, I guess it's always been like that. Because I'm the youngest, I was the one still at home when they were all grown up and starting their own families... even after Dad died, when Mom told us how sick she was, we all took turns visiting her but it was me that moved back home to care for her. The others, they all had other people to look after - well, apart from Taylor, but she can't even look after herself, so..."

Haley trailed off. She'd never really thought about her family obligations, it hadn't seemed unfair, it had simply made sense. She'd wanted to be the one with her mother, to spend as much time as possible with her. Selfishly, she was glad she didn't have to share her for most of the limited time she had left.

"Have things always been difficult between you all?"

"No, not really ... I mean, with the age differences, it meant I wasn't that close to the older ones, but we'd always see each other at Thanksgiving, Christmas... It was always a madhouse when everyone was in town, but it was nice. Mom and Dad, they were the glue that kept us all together, but we always got along. It's just ... since the last holidays ... we've just all drifted apart. Quinn's called maybe twice since Mom died, but she just wanted to talk about her and David... I guess everyone has their own stuff to deal with, kids, husbands, wives and stuff...

"Do you think perhaps your siblings are struggling with your parents' deaths as well?" Olivia inquired.

Another shrug. "I don't know ... maybe... probably... Nathan said the same thing, but how am I supposed to know if they don't reach out to me?"

"Indeed. And how are they supposed to know that you've been struggling if you don't reach out to them?"

Haley didn't know what to say to that, but Olivia didn't seem to expect an answer this time as she continued. "Right, if you're going to Tree Hill this weekend, let's talk about what can make this trip easier for you."

Haley looked at her therapist with wet, pleading eyes. She could only think of one thing.

"I just don't want to leave without Nathan understanding. I want him to know I'll be ok."

* * *

An hour later, Haley found herself in another office. It was modern but simple, taking up half a floor in a high rise in downtown Charlotte.

"Can I help you?" The polished redhead in front of Haley raised an inquiring eyebrow with a voice that didn't sound like particularly like she wanted to help Haley at all.

"Um ... I'm here to see Nathan Scott?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Um... no, sorry... I was hoping he could see me really quick, it won't take long..."

The woman gave her smile. "I'm sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all. "But unless you have an appointment, you can't see him."

"I know, I'm sorry, it's just ..." Haley felt red and flustered. She hadn't anticipated how unprepared she was coming to Nathan's office, or how beautiful his secretary would be. "My name's Haley," she tried again. "Haley James, I'm..."

"Oh my gosh! _You're_ Haley?" Haley blinked at the rapid change in demeanor when a wide, excited smile overtook the other woman's face. "Oh hi! It's so nice to finally meet you. I'm Rachel." She held out a hand for Haley to shake, which she did limply, still confused by the sudden recognition.

"I'm so sorry about that," she was saying as she stood up and moved away from her desk. Haley could see the shapely round bump beneath Rachel's tight shift dress. "But as you can imagine, Nathan gets a _lot_ of fans and groupies coming to the office wanting to meet him. Even after all this time, he's still popular as ever. Some days I don't know if I'm a secretary or security." She laughed at herself and started walking down the hallway, indicating for Haley to follow. With a quick glance around the reception area, Haley obeyed.

"I didn't realize you were so _pretty_!"

Haley blinked in bewilderment as Rachel kept talking. "I mean, I couldn't really see you very well in the photos and from Friday night, but Clay said..."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh, you know, with the lighting being quite dark and the quality wasn't that good. And I guess most people were trying to focus on Nathan so there weren't many photos of you..."

"What photos are you talking about?"

This time, Rachel was the one who looked surprised. "From Friday night. You guys doing karaoke."

"There are _photos_ of that? In _public_?"

Rachel laughed at Haley's obvious mortification. "Well, obviously! Nathan Scott on stage doing karaoke? Clay was disappointed that it wasn't trending on Twitter."

She pulled out a rose gold iPhone and scrolled through something before handing it over to Haley. Sure enough, about half a dozen photos of Nathan had been posted on social media, walking into the bar and onstage with Haley. They looked like they had been cropped and zoomed to get as close as possible, rendering the quality quite fuzzy. By some miraculous twist of fate, Haley was very hard to recognize due to the dark lighting, but Nathan was clearly distinguishable in most.

"Oh God ..." Haley stared, transfixed. "Has Nathan seen these?"

Rachel nodded. "He was surprisingly calm about it, though. Clay's had a few calls from the gossip sites asking who the girl is, but Nathan told him to say it was a friend and not to comment further. He's not really making a big deal out if it ... actually, he seemed more relieved that it's too hard to make you out." Rachel's voice reflected the surprise over Nathan's priorities.

Haley passed the phone back to Rachel. It was unnerving that there were photos of her all over social media, but she was pretty sure that no one would be able to see her face clearly enough to identify her. Despite her own interest in Nathan's career, she couldn't help but be surprised that he was still in the public eye, and her surprise surprised her further. Regardless of Nathan's phenomenal basketball talents, he had the build of an athlete and good looks that garnered attention long before he was thrust into a public arena. Even before his celebrity status, Nathan captured most women's attention by simply looking the way he did.

Before she could say anything else, Rachel pushed open a door and ushered Haley inside. "Nathan's just finishing up a meeting in the conference room. Just wait here and he'll be back any minute."

With another blinding smile, the secretary turned and headed back to her desk, leaving a dazed Haley in the middle of Nathan's office. It was a large room, with windows overlooking downtown Charlotte. Another Bobcat's jersey hung, framed, on the wall, and Haley felt a wave of pride wash over her as she spotted Nathan's degree from the University of Maryland, in Business, hanging on the wall. She had never imagined, all those years ago in the tutoring center of Tree Hill High that Nathan would end up a college graduate. It wasn't that he wasn't academically capable, no - Haley knew that Nathan was a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for - but for a boy who had only received praise for his performance on a basketball court, it made Haley feel a strong warmth that he'd been able to graduate on top of his demanding sporting commitments.

Spotting a photo that looked like the Tree Hill Ravens of their senior year hanging on the wall behind his desk, Haley moved closer to inspect it. As she navigated the edge of the desk covered in files and papers, she was startled to see something very familiar. Taped to Nathan's computer screen was something she hadn't seen in a long time, over eight years, but was instantly recognizable: a small piece of white paper, framed with the purple edges of card, and Haley's looping handwriting.

 _Believing you will do well is half the battle_.

Haley bit her lip as emotion overcame her. She always liked to give the students she tutored a small boost before a big exam, putting together a small tin of studying essentials. Nathan's was the first, and only time she had slipped in a handwritten note, knowing that Nathan's lack of self-confidence in his academic abilities was the biggest barrier between himself and achieving the grades that would keep him well above the standard for Raven's eligibility. Nathan had never mentioned it, and hearing Bevin quote it last week had been enough of a shock, but to see her note in such a prominent position on Nathan's desk touched the toughened part of her heart that had been starting to soften over the past few weeks. Tangible proof that she had really made a difference, to one person at least. One very important person.

Haley had begun to wonder, after the incident at her old school, if she was really cut out for teaching. If the time, effort and emotion she put into her lesson plans, helping her students, teaching every day, was worth it, if it gave her the same joy and pride that she experienced when tutoring in high school – the time when she had first considered making a career of helping people learn. After seeing her influence in Nathan's youth center, seeing her words being cherished and considered after such a long time, she was finally starting to believe that she wasn't such a failure after all.

A sudden noise started Haley and she jumped in shock as Nathan came through the door, his arms full of files. He looked as surprised to see her there as she was to see him, and she inconspicuously slid out from behind his desk.

"Haley?"

* * *

Nathan wasn't the sort of guy who hated Mondays over any other day of the week. In his short time in his office job, he'd simply gotten into the routine of going to work and doing what needed to be done. He had to admit, though, today had been tougher than most, and he hated starting what was looking like an extremely busy week on the wrong foot.

He'd felt, at first, stupid for lashing out at Haley the way he had the day before. Even Lucas' quiet inquiry in the car on the way to the airport had told Nathan that he had been harsher than he needed to be. Nathan knew it was just one of those things that could easily be sorted out with a bit of communication. The problem was, Nathan had always been stubborn. His communication skills were below standard, having grown up in a family where emotions were bottled up and listening skills were poor. He was used to disagreeing with someone and stewing and sulking, like a child. So he'd avoided his roommate for the remainder of the day, and had slipped off to work early in order to avoid their routine morning run.

It was ridiculous, and cowardly, and Nathan knew that he'd have to craft an apology as soon as he returned home day, but it hadn't been a great start to the week. The last thing he had expected was to find, after the way he had behaved, was Haley in his office.

"I'm so sorry, Nathan."

Haley's voice was soft and sweet, and Nathan frowned at both her unexpected presence and apology.

"Haley…"

"No, let me finish…" She held up her hands in protest, so Nathan silently dropped his files to his desk and leaned against the edge.

"You are a good man, Nathan Scott – one of the best I know. It's been your kindness and generosity and support that has helped me get out of bed and function each day… I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for everything you've said and done for me for the past two and a half weeks. Yesterday, I was angry and frustrated and I took it out on you. No, no one asked you to help me, Nathan. But you're helping me every day, doing it because you're a great person and an incredible friend.

"I know I said I wasn't ready to go back to Tree Hill, and I'm not, but … I don't know, for some reason it's important to me to be the one who sorts out the house, I _want_ to do it. And anyway, I had to go back at some point, most of my stuff is still there …"

Haley's dark eyes were troubled and she was alternating between biting down on her bottom lip and sucking both lips in between her teeth.

"I want to apologize for making you feel like you were just putting a roof over my head. It's so much more than that, and I wouldn't even be able to think about going back to Tree Hill if I didn't know that I had a room in your house, and your support, waiting for me here. It means more than I'll ever be able to tell you, Nathan."

Relief washed over Nathan, and not simply because he didn't have to be the one to make the first move in amending their friendship … or whatever bond they had forged over the past few weeks.

"Hales … you don't have to apologize for anything, I've told you that before. I totally overreacted yesterday …" He sighed, trying to shake the mental image that he couldn't seem to get out of his head. "I keep seeing you, at the airport when you first arrived … I don't ever want to see you like that again, Hales. I know that, somehow, for some reason, you've been feeling better than you have before, but I don't know what the magic cure for depression is, I don't know what's right or wrong for you or how I can prevent things from getting worse again. I'm just ... I'm scared, Hales. I feel pretty helpless. But I know that you have to do whatever you need to do, and I promise I'll always be here to do whatever I can to help."

Nathan saw Haley's shoulders drop from her ears and settle at their designated location, and he felt the guilt of how much their rift had been weighing on her. "Oh, Nathan…"

Her dark eyes filled with tears and Nathan coughed, uncomfortably, respectful of Haley's desire to ignore them but unable to hide their effect on him. "Look, I tried to see if I could come with you this weekend, but it's going to be impossible. I have some really important meetings all day on Friday that I can't reschedule. And I'm going to be playing catch up in the office over the weekend, too. I'm sorry."

Haley shook her head, her dark blonde ponytail whipping the sides of her face. "No, no … it's ok … thank you…"

Wordlessly, he handed her a box of tissues, which she took, turning away for wipe her face and blow her nose. When she turned back, he raised his eyebrows at her. "We good?"

She nodded, vigorously. "We're good."

Nathan took the few short steps to reach her and enveloped her in a hug. Despite it being a rare occurrence, there was nothing uncomfortable about it – at least as far as Nathan was concerned. As usual, Haley's cheek rested against his collarbone as he towered over her. He had never been much of a hugger, but with Haley he had found it a good way to say the things he couldn't find words for.

Pulling back, Haley sniffled and said, "And Nathan, I'm so sorry about Friday night as well. I wasn't thinking clearly anyway, as you know, but it didn't occur to me that people would be taking photos of you…"

Nathan winced. He had to admit, when Rachel greeted him earlier in the morning with the pixelated images of his karaoke debut, his first thought was how Haley would react to them. He was beyond relieved to see that she was indecipherable in the photos, but knew that they would make her feel bad. He'd hoped she would be able to avoid them and cursed his secretary for the added burden on Haley's already weakened shoulders.

"Honestly, Hales, it's fine," he insisted. "You have nothing to worry about."

He could see in her eyes that she felt reassured, and her smile was genuine. "Thank you, Nathan."

She pulled him in for another quick hug before turning to leave. Outside his office door, he heard Clay greet her enthusiastically, and he suppressed a sigh. Clay knew full well who Nathan had been accompanying on stage the other night, and Nathan had copped the customary teasing and suggestive comments. He knew his business partner was amused over the former playboy basketball star living with a platonic female friend, and Nathan didn't want to add fuel to his fire. He watched as Haley turned back to the open doorway, smiled and waved at him. Nathan returned the gesture, sighing in relief as Clay's secretary cornered him with a message and allowing Haley to leave without further fanfare.

It was with relief and newfound energy when Nathan turned back to the mess on his desk. He had a busy week ahead with meetings, lining up potential and lucrative partnerships between sponsors and his clients, and plenty of scouting to be done. March Madness was beginning and Nathan had always taken a close interest in the NCAA tournament.

He'd been buried in paperwork for several hours before his stomach signaled that he was overdue for lunch. With a quick glance at his watch and his emails, he left his office, signaling to Rachel, who was on the phone that he was leaving for 10 minutes to get food. Deep in thought over the figures on the last contract he had been reading, he was startled for the second time that day when a friendly female voice greeted him.

"Hey, Nathan."

The tall woman looked familiar, with strawberry blonde hair that sat around her shoulders that Nathan instinctively knew had been much longer once upon a time. The wide smile showcased white teeth that was clearly a product of orthodontic work, and the blue eyes held a sparkle.

"Daytona?"

Nathan laughed incredulously as he was wrapped in his third hug for the day, albeit with a different woman. Daytona Green had been a childhood friend; her father worked with Nathan's uncle, Cooper, and his crew at the race track. The two had grown up together, spending long, hot summers of their childhood in Florida on the track which Daytona had been named after. As they had gotten older, Nathan's summers had become filled with basketball camps, and they hadn't seen each other since before high school.

"Wow, you look … look at you!" Nathan couldn't help his surprised eyes from roaming the unfamiliar form. His childhood friend was certainly no longer a child. "What are you doing here?"

Daytona laughed, happily. "I've just started working here … well, not here, here," she clarified with a smile, "Two floors up, I'm an attorney." She rattled off the long collection of surnames that Nathan recognized as the prestigious law firm in their building, which he and Clay often used for advice in their line of work.

"Wow, an attorney," Nathan mused. "Man, I always thought you'd end up racing cars."

Daytona laughed again and Nathan couldn't help but admire the carefree sound. "Well, we can't all make a living from our childhood dreams."

Nathan chuckled and nodded in understanding, noting the way Daytona's short skirt showed off long, shapely legs, and the undone buttons at the top of her shirt revealed creamy, pale skin. There was an air of confidence about her that Nathan couldn't help find attractive. The girl who used to run around race tracks in oversized race suits had obviously become a smart and sexy woman. A gear that had been lying dormant in the back of Nathan's brain started rotating slowly, as one side of his mouth lifted in a smirk.

"Clay called me up to look through a contract, I mentioned you and I go way back... I was hoping to run into you," she confessed.

The smirk became more pronounced. "I'm really glad you did. It's great to see you."

The ding of the elevator broke through their conversation. Datyona's eyebrows creased into a disappointed frown.

"I'm heading up, back to work," she explained, apologetically. "I've got the week from hell ahead of me… It was great to see you, Nathan. We should catch up some time, I don't really know many people here in Charlotte."

"Yeah," Nathan drawled. "My week is looking pretty crazy, too... How 'bout we catch up over dinner on Friday? That is, if your boyfriend doesn't mind."

It was blatant and purposeful, but Nathan didn't care. Once the intent had sprung up in his mind, he figured he may as well use his old, reliable tactics to get what he wanted. Judging by the smile on his old friend's face, his direct approach had worked.

"There is no boyfriend," Daytona announced, the sparkle in her bright eyes becoming more pronounced. "Dinner on Friday sounds lovely… there's this great Italian place just down from my apartment in town, I've been dying to check it out. We could meet there, if you like? 7pm?"

Nathan recognized the name as an established (and expensive) fine dining restaurant, and although he had never been the dating type until recently, he knew the spot was a perfect mix of intimate and lively and Daytona had picked well. With his best smirk still firmly in place, he nodded. "Sounds perfect. It's a date."

"It's a date," Daytona repeated in a tone that was both pleased and coy. She smiled again, and Nathan chanced a look at the curves of her ass as she stepped into the elevator. His eyes expertly slid to hers as she turned back to face him. "See you then."

The doors slid shut, and instead of waiting for the carriage to make its downward trip, Nathan pushed open the door to the stairwell, jogging lightly down the steps with a satisfied whistle.

Monday's weren't bad at all. Nathan Scott was back in the game.


	15. Chapter 15

**I have received some amazing feedback from the last chapter and while I knew Daytona wouldn't be popular, I'm so grateful to those of you who were so kind enough to differentiate between the characters and my writing, so thank you so much! I promise I will address the character of Daytona and Nathan's intentions in the next chapter, because it's more relevant then, but please trust me - I love and adore Haley, too, and I want to protect her as much as you guys want to. Daytona's not in this story to hurt Haley, I promise!**

 **Just updating this author's note to add that a huge part of this chapter is inspired by a song, Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran. It will feature again in a later chapter (a hint for all of you wondering about Haley's musical side) but for those who know the song, it's so obvious throughout this chapter that I thought I'd better admit it! If you don't know it, I strongly recommend you give it a listen (and I will again in a future chapter when it becomes more relevant). Also, shout out to Hannah, who sort of predicted the end of this chapter. Thanks for your review!**

 **Here's chapter 15 x**

It felt strange for Haley to have to take a cab to her parents' house in Tree Hill. When she returned from LA on vacation, her mom and dad had always been at the airport, waiting to greet her with enthusiastic cheering and hugs, sometimes even comically large boards with her name on it, which Haley would adore but pretend it embarrassed her to no end. It had been a familiar dance, which left a painful pang in Haley's chest as she'd left the airport and hailed a cab.

Switching her phone back on after her flight, it buzzed loudly against the cluster of things in her handbag, alerting her to a message. Haley pulled it out and, seeing that she had a voicemail, dialed the number to hear her favorite brother's familiar voice.

"Uh, hey sis... Look, something's come up and I can't make it to Tree Hill this weekend... I'll reschedule the flights when I can. Viv wants you to get started on things at the house though, so... yeah. Talk later, bye."

The beep, signaling the end of the message, sounded loudly in Haley's right ear, alongside the sound of her rushing blood. With no consideration for the expensive piece of technology she held in her hand, Haley threw her phone back into her bag, cursing loudly. Ignoring the glance from the cab driver, Haley buried her face in her hands, muffling her scream of frustration.

She wasn't all that surprised, actually. It seemed a reliable bet that her brother would let her down, especially when she was so looking forward to seeing him. Not being in the same town as him, like she had gotten used to for so long, had been something she'd missed about her life in LA. With clenched fists, she pushed her fingernails into the padded flesh of her palms, desperate for control over her emotions. It was too early to start crying. It was what she hated most about her depression - the lack of control over everything. She didn't know how she was expected to get better when her family continued to throw curveballs at her. She had wanted to see Matthew this weekend, she had wanted the chance to cry with someone who understood what it was like to have such amazing parents taken from them. She wanted to talk about them, to reminisce. But she was alone. Again.

The cab dropped her off in front of her family home before she had the chance to process her brother's change in plans. It was why the sight of boxes piled on her parents' front porch felt like a kick in the gut, she imagined. Another unexpected weapon, launching at her attack to get through this trip in one piece. The scratchy, male writing on each box confirmed to Haley that her ex-boyfriend had indeed kept his promise to send her stuff from LA. Her meager wardrobe that didn't make the trip to Tree Hill with her was in one box, her college text books, teaching materials and vast amount of personal reading books took up three. Chris had thrown in a few token pieces of kitchenware into another box, presumably the only items that Haley had purchased - and she knew she had purchased it all - that he didn't think he'd need for himself.

Chris' phone call to break off their relationship a few months ago had been cruel and thoughtless, at the time cementing the belief in Haley's wounded psyche that she was unlovable and unwanted. It was a surprising shock to her now, as she stared at her boxed up belongings, that she could see how her relationship with Chris hadn't been a healthy, balanced one. He hadn't been a bad man; he was focused and selfish, desperately searching for his big break with little consideration for the girl he had charmed into a relationship a few years before. Yes, he had blamed her "moods" and "lack of dedication to their relationship" as the reason for breaking up with her, but she knew now that it wasn't her burden to carry. If she had been in equal, healthy relationship, Chris would have been there for her when she needed him. He had done them both a favor. And at least he had labelled her boxes, she thought.

Gritting her teeth so hard she wondered if her jaw would crack, Haley strengthened her resolve, the weak armor that she had slowly but surely been trying to piece back together since she left this house. Her hands were shaking slightly as she fished in her bag for her keys and inserted the matching one into the lock of her parents' front door, stepping inside for the first time since she had left, hastily and dazed, three weeks ago. She was a stronger person now, or at least she was trying to be. At least now, she felt alive.

It was the stench that hit her first, a rancid, foul smell that infiltrated her senses and made her gag. Haley covered her nose with her hand as she walked through to the kitchen, where the disgusting scent was at its strongest. She quickly identified the culprit - brown, sagging flowers in cheap supermarket wrapping, sitting in murky water on the windowsill. Grateful that she wasn't confronted with a dying rodent like she had originally suspected, Haley grasped the dry stems in one hand and tossed them into the kitchen bin, rinsing out the vase as the remnants of the offensive stench swirled down the drain. Several more bunches sat on a nearby table just outside of the kitchen, which Haley cleared away.

She stared at the mess surrounding her, wondering where she could start. It was startling and confronting to see the mess she had created, had been living in for months, numb and oblivious to it all. It was like she had existed in an alternate universe, or she hadn't really been existing at all. Her mom's favorite mug, a handmade creation that JJ had made one summer camp and her mother had used, proudly and loyally, ever since, was stuck to the table by its ring of tea as Haley tried to pry it off to load into the dishwasher. The fridge was sparse except a small block of cheese and an old, flat bottle of ginger beer sitting in the door shelf. As Haley emptied the bottle and threw it into a box for recycling, she wondered if she had eaten at all after her mom's death.

Haley cleaned and scrubbed for hours, not packing but tidying and sorting the kitchen until it was sparkling and habitable again. She cleared out the fridge, wiped windows and mopped the floors. It was only when she moved onto the lounge did the sight make her physically stagger backwards as the onslaught of memories crashed into her.

When her mother had left the hospice for that final time, her bed had been moved into the lounge as she was unable to manage the stairs to her own bedroom. She liked looking out at the garden; the once perfectly-tended rose bed and small family swimming pool made for a pretty outlook for one's last weeks of life. The fireplace mantel was crammed with dozens of cards, still wishing Lydia James the best, wanting her to get well soon, even though that had been ruled out as a medical possibility a month before she returned home. Stuffed animals were lined up on the bed like a sentry, gifts from Lydia's adoring grandchildren who had come for their final visit, to cling to the frail hands and hear the quiet voice read stories to them for the last time. A stack of her nightgowns, folded whites and pinks, sat at the end of her bed, next to a large photo album that had been with her during her time at the hospice.

Haley gripped onto the edge of wall next to the entrance to the lounge, fighting to stay upright as her memories and emotions continued their assault. Her mother had been dead for three months, but the room looked as if she had been sleeping there just yesterday. Haley spied the stacks of envelopes on the couch, unopened sympathy cards had been sent after the rest of the family had left after the funeral, which she had refused to acknowledge. Amongst them, Haley knew, were Christmas cards from family friends wishing the best thoughts for the James siblings facing their first Christmas without their parents, and, even sadder, a few from those whom the news of Lydia's passing hadn't reached yet.

Haley picked the emotion that she could deal with in that instant, the feeling that had always stayed at the forefront of her brain since the funeral, and used the anger to find her phone from her bag and call the person she most wanted to bear the brunt of it.

"Hello?"

The voice was hesitant and Haley knew that hers was not a call he wanted to answer; in fact, she was surprised he had picked up at all.

"You couldn't even give me a reason why you're blowing me off this weekend, big bro? 'Something came up' ... that's the best you could do?"

Matthew sighed, brokenly. "I'm sorry, sis... I'm really sorry... I... I just couldn't."

Haley waited for her brother to continue, and when he didn't, she asked, "Is that it? That's all you're giving me?"

"You can do it, right? You can make a start?"

Haley gazed around the lounge before turning behind her to the now sparkling kitchen. She was ashamed at how she had left the place, fleeing towards Nathan's offer for a place to stay in Charlotte without a second thought to anything besides the chance to escape the constant darkness and weight she felt in Tree Hill, as if it were the house itself and its memories contained within pressing down onto her heart. In many ways, she was glad that Matthew hadn't been around to see it.

"Matty, what's going on?" She asked, her tone softening as her favorite brother's sad and pleading tone penetrated through her fury.

She heard muffling on the other end of the line and gripped her phone tighter, as if that would help her decipher the sound. She was astounded to hear her brother crying and his voice was raw with grief when he spoke. "God, sis, I can't do it, I can't face it ... I can't come home, Haley Bob. I don't know how you can do it."

"What do you mean?" Haley was bewildered by the unexpected sound of the first time she had heard her brother in tears.

"It's been so hard, since ... you know ..." Matthew sniffled. "I've been trying to hold it together for months, I ... the kids, you know they adored Mom, and Jill, too," he said of his wife, a lovely, kinda woman whom Haley liked spending time with in LA. "I just can't, Haley... I can't go back there, back home, when she's not there...and Dad..."

"Oh Matty..." Haley felt her sinuses swell as the emotion in her brother's voice washed over her. She slumped onto the edge of her mother's bed, her fingers absently turned the hard edges of the photo album in front of her that the very same brother she was currently talking to had put together for their mom. Lydia James' smiling face radiated from each 6x4 inch image, always accompanied by one or more of her equally beaming children or her adoring husband. "She's not gone from this house, she's everywhere..."

Haley sat in silence for a while as her brother was too overcome to speak. She still couldn't get over the shock. The James' weren't a particularly stoic family; there simply hadn't been much of a need to cry growing up in a household so lively and loving. Her father always had a "chin up" attitude, encouraging his children to see the bright side of life instead of wallowing when they felt bad. When Matthew could speak, he echoed Haley's thoughts. "Dad always said not to cry when you're down, but lately I just can't seem to stop."

"I know what you mean," Haley murmured, catching a drip from the edge of her nose with her sleeve, before looking around for a tissue.

"You're so strong, Haley Bob. Being there with Mom when she left the hospice, caring for her, looking after the house..."

"Oh, Matty, I'm not. I'm so not strong," Haley's tears were dripping earnestly now; the anger had dissipated rapidly. "I haven't even been here for weeks ... I haven't been coping, I'm so far from strong."

Her brother wasn't listening, and from the opposite side of the country in the city where she had lived since she had left this house for college, she heard Matthew murmuring to someone, most likely Jill, before speaking again.

"I have to go, Haley Bob... thank you for ... for sorting this out. I'm sorry... I'll call soon... bye."

The muted tone in Haley's ear informed her that Matthew had hung up without waiting for her response, and she numbly tossed the phone beside her on the bed. The thoughts and feelings raging through her head were intense and tiring, but the prominent one was how broken he had sounded. Had she sounded the same way after her mother's death - did she still sound that way now? Olivia's - and Nathan's - words, suggesting her siblings may also be suffering in their own way, preventing them from reaching out to her - echoed in her brain as she realized they had been right, for one sibling, at least.

Haley felt exhausted, and she didn't know if it was curiosity or sheer habit that propelled her onto her feet and up the stairs towards her bedroom, her mind still on her brother 2,500 miles away in LA. The idea that perhaps he was depressed, too, struggling with a wife and young children to care for and console, had whiplashed the original anger that Haley had felt towards him for cancelling his trip to help her.

She opened her bedroom door, the time capsule to her teenage years because, despite her parent's teasing that they needed a home gym, they had kept it just as she left it for whenever she visited home during the holidays. Her unmade, single bed reminding her that not once, in the two years they were together, had Chris joined her for a family holiday. It didn't seem to be important now. Photos of her family, tangible evidence of times when they laughed and loved together, fluttered on the board pinned up above her desk. She had brought her guitar home with her from LA, and the dust that rested heavily on its shoulders made her wonder when she last felt the desire and need to strum and sing her feelings out loud, the way she used to when life was less complicated and more manageable.

It was the sight of Mr Waffles, however, that broke her. Her childhood teddy bear, still tangled in the sheets, tore at the last fiber of strength she had. Collapsing onto the soft mattress, Haley's body curved viciously as a cross between a sob and a dry-heave threw itself out of her. The anger at Matthew bailing on her, at Chris for the wasted years with him, the shock of a life she had apparently lived but not remembered in this house in the months after her mother's death, the unfairness and injustice of all the loss she had experienced came pouring out, until the blankets beneath her were a wet, heavy mess.

It was nearly dark by the time Haley felt like she was finished, like she was so dehydrated that there was nothing left to leave her body. The last fragments of dark orange and purple streaked her bedroom as she sat up, the loud sound of her blowing her nose disrupting the stillness of the house, before heading back downstairs for a glass of water and her phone. There was only one person she wanted to talk to, one person's voice that had the ability to smooth the jagged edges of her emotions.

* * *

Nathan was running late. His full day in meetings had fried his brain and there was a faint ache behind his eyeballs. He didn't have the time to agonize over what shirt to wear, but still he stood, in front of his mirror, eyeing the light blue and grey stripe before throwing the latter on his bed and the former onto his arms and over his shoulders. He had barely hit puberty before he knew the effect blue clothing had on his natural eye color – and the opposite sex.

His expensive watch told him that he had less than ten minutes to get to the restaurant Daytona had chosen, just under fifteen minutes away from his house. Math had never been his strong point, despite his excellent tutor, but he knew he was going to be late no matter how fast he drove. A quick tug at the front of his hair with his fingers sufficed before he ran down the stairs, his shirt still open and flapping. He didn't stop to think when his phone buzzed in his pants pocket, pulling it out to read the name on the screen.

"Hey," he answered, keeping the breathlessness out of his voice as he stopped before the bottom step. "How's everything going? How is it seeing your brother again?"

It was the heavy sigh he heard on the other end of the line that made him drop into sitting position on his staircase as his eyebrows creased into a concerned frown.

"He's not here," Haley replied. "He didn't come."

"What?!"

Nathan heard the sniffle before Haley spoke again, and he felt an ache inside him at the knowledge that she had been crying. "Yeah … he left a message on voicemail telling me he wasn't coming. I got it just before I arrived at the house to find all my stuff from California piled in boxes on the porch."

"Are you serious? Haley, what happened? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, honestly…it's ok… well, it's ok as it can be. God, Nathan…" Haley's voice broke and Nathan waited patiently for her to find her words. "You were so right, about Matt at least… he's really struggling, he said he couldn't even face coming home, didn't know how I could do it."

"I don't know how you could do it either, to be honest," Nathan admitted. "But you're still there. Matthew should be, too."

"I just never thought … I was so wrapped up in how I was feeling, the idea that the others could be going through something similar… I just never…"

"They're not your responsibility," Nathan's voice was firm. "You said so yourself, Hales, they have family – partners and kids. The only one you need to worry about, to look after, is you."

"I know, it's just … in a way it kinda helps, you know? Just knowing …"

Haley trailed off and Nathan waited a moment for her to sort through her thoughts. "How does it feel being back at your parents' house?"

"Hard," Haley admitted. "But I knew that … it's like I'm being confronted with how I existed before I came to stay with you. In my head it's just darkness, memory loss. I honestly don't know what I was doing for those months. The house is like Mom is still living in it, with a really, really messy roommate…"

Nathan smiled slightly over Haley's tone; it didn't seem as broken as he had expected it to be and it had already sounded better from a minute ago at the start of their call. "Well, I can say for a fact that you are the tidiest roommate ever."

"I just miss her so much, you know?" The quiet voice sounded strained again. "I wanted to talk about her and Dad with Matthew, feel something good and positive when I think of them for a change, the happy memories."

"Then tell me."

"Huh?"

"Tell me," Nathan insisted. "God, Hales, I was raised in near silence. And when it wasn't silent, the shouting was deafening. I didn't know my only sibling up until 10 years ago. A house with two loving parents and seven kids? I'd love to hear about that."

Nathan listened, enraptured by the warmth that started to seep into Haley's voice as she spoke, the short half-giggles when a particularly amusing moment came to mind. He sat on the stairs, his shirt still open, buttons forgotten.

Across town, also forgotten, a beautiful woman sat at a table for two, alone, and poured herself another glass of wine.


	16. Chapter 16

**I know that most of you won't like all of this chapter. That's ok, I get it. All I can do is hope you trust me and stick with me, and I'll reiterate my point from my last author's note that DAYTONA IS NOT HERE TO HURT HALEY. This is a Naley story and she won't be around forever ... who knows, she might even be here to serve a useful purpose ;-)**

 **My work opportunity that cropped up last month has given me another great project that I need to focus on, so this will be my last update for a couple of weeks. I've posted 4 chapters in 2 weeks, so hopefully that'll be enough to grant me your patience and forgiveness (if you're actually waiting for updates for this story!) When I return, we'll see how Haley's trip to Tree Hill has affected her, and there's a lot of little details in this chapter that will come into play soon, too.**

 **Thank you again for your unbelievable support!**

There were days when Nathan thought Rachel Gatina was a goddess.

The sports agent headed to his office on Monday morning, dreading the mess he knew he'd left behind in his haste, after his day of meetings and rushing off for his date on Friday. He was never great with paperwork at the best of times, so, armed with an extra tall, extra strong cup of coffee that he knew he'd need, he braced himself as he pushed open his office door.

His desk stood in front of him, clear and sparkling, the dozens and dozens of sheets of paper he had left in a scattered, disorganized mess had been cleared away, leaving a small, tidy pile to one side of his desk. As he stood, dumbstruck, Rachel entered his office behind him.

"I love you," Nathan declared.

"Oh, honey," Rachel laughed. "Whoever you fall in love with will be one lucky girl, but it ain't me."

Nathan moved to the other side of his desk and collapsed in his chair. Rachel held up a stack of documents in each hand, presumably ones she had taken off his desk. "These are the contracts to send over to Gatorade and these ones are going to Nike, right?"

Nathan nodded. "And..."

"... make a copy for our files and one for the clients," Rachel finished for him. "I'm no Rookie, Mr Scott."

The agent smiled gratefully at her. "Thanks, Rachel. You're a lifesaver."

She waved him off. "Just doing my job. So looks like the meetings went well?"

"Really well. We agreed to some really lucrative deals and a certain quarterback from a high-profile team has agreed to leave his current agency for us. Clay's getting the paperwork sorted on that one, but it's a big name and a big deal."

Rachel smiled her Mother Hen smile at him. "Congratulations."

Nathan allowed himself a satisfied smile as her praise washed over him. He was still so new to the agency business, finding his feet as he muddled his way through a career so different from the one he dreamed of and trained for his entire life. The successes in his new job was so different from being a basketball player, but he was still proud of them. He had learned that his self-doubt, or as Haley had put it, those negative voices in his head, could play a big role in hampering his success, and had attempted to turn that around when starting his career as a sports agent. He had found that Haley's words of wisdom, now stuck to his computer screen, was relevant whether he was when facing a history exam nearly ten years ago or a new, potential client today.

"Any messages for me?"

Rachel pulled out her notepad and scanned it. "Bevin called. She wants you to know that plans for the youth center fundraising gala is coming along well and to remind you to drop off some merchandise for the silent auction when you can."

Nathan nodded, pulling up his online calendar that Rachel kept organized and synced for him. "That's next Saturday, right? That's fine, I'll see if I can hit up some clients for some gear as well."

"Actually...she's not just after sports gear ... she wants you to see if anyone will join you in the celebrity auction..." Rachel's voice trailed off as she bit her lip, and Nathan knew she found the way his face had dropped amusing.

"Celebrity auction? Join _me_?" Nathan exclaimed, incredulously. "Tell me she's not putting me through that... again."

His secretary smirked. She had attended the first fundraiser for the Charlotte Youth Center a few years ago, which was the last time the center manager had organized for Nathan and his team mates to be auctioned off to the highest bidder for dates.

"It was a lucrative money-earner, you have to admit," she pointed out. "And especially when you're trying to avoid too much media attention... you have to entice people to spend money somehow."

The former NBA superstar groaned. "Yeah, but I'm not even a Bobcat anymore..."

Rachel's laugh was uproarious. "Oh, I don't think people care about that ... you're just too pretty for your own good."

Rolling his eyes, he waved Rachel away. "Yeah, yeah... Alright, tell her I'll sort something out." As Rachel headed back to her desk, Nathan called louder to her, "You and Dean better come this year and bid on me, though!"

Her laughter echoed and Nathan turned back to his work with a sigh, until he spotted his business partner walking past his open door. Remembering something he needed to ask Clay, he waved him into the office as he plucked a sheet of paper from his newly-organized pile.

"Hey, man, McFadden wants these clauses put into his next contract. I haven't seen anything like this before, is it legit?"

The fair-haired man furrowed his prominent eyebrows as he studied the paper Nathan had slid over. "These first two look ok, but I'm not sure we can get away with number three ... why don't you run it past Daytona? She can give you the legal standpoint."

At the mention of his old friend's name, Nathan felt his gut twist awkwardly. "Uh... it's fine, I'll go back to McFadden and see if number three is negotiable..."

Clay's eyebrows raised. "Avoiding the hot new lawyer already? I thought you guys were old friends."

"Uh, yeah, we are..." Nathan felt a few beads of sweat pop over his brow and busied himself with stacking some files neatly, and unnecessarily. "But, you know... she's busy, I don't want to bother her..."

"Oh man, have you screwed her already? Jesus, Nate! I thought you wanting to try dating a girl before you fuck it up, instead of just sleeping with them and fucking it up..."

"Christ, Clay, will you shut up? It's not like that."

"Well what's going on?"

Nathan heaved a sigh, sitting back in his plush leather chair. He knew he may as well tell Clay; his former agent had a way of finding out everything, anyway, and if Daytona was going to continue to provide legal advice to the agency, Nathan knew that his business partner should know what had happened.

"I kind of stood her up on Friday night."

It was a testament to their friendship that Clay simply watched him, silently, with eyebrows raised, allowing Nathan to continue.

"I asked her out for dinner and then ... something came up ... and by then it was too late to call and explain."

It was the poorest summary of events possible, but Nathan hoped it would suffice. He had ended up on the phone to Haley for nearly three hours on Friday night, his heart growing lighter as she shared tale after tale about her beloved parents. Nathan had enjoyed it, hearing about fun and boisterous family experiences that were so foreign to him and his childhood, and he could hear in Haley's voice how happy she sounded talking about it. He wasn't her therapist, but he knew there must have been some value in getting Haley to talk about her parents and those memories, especially considering how sad she had been when she had called him. The time had flown by and it wasn't until Nathan's cell beeped to inform him his battery was about drained that they had stopped talking. After their hurried farewell, and Haley gratefully thanking him for listening, Nathan's phone had shut itself off. He'd tiredly crawled into bed, waiting until the following day to charge his phone and retrieve the handful of texts and concerned voicemails from his date. He couldn't explain his appalling behavior, especially for a man who had been the one to instigate the date, but he'd simply text her with the same, pathetic excuse he'd given Clay, with the addendum that he would call her later. He hadn't yet called her.

"Whoah, Nate ... man, that's harsh, even for you! What was more important than a hot and, may I add, extremely rare and hard to get date?"

Nathan rubbed his face, tiredly. "Just ... personal stuff."

"What about Haley?"

Nathan's head shot up in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Well, why are you arranging dates with your hot old friend Daytona when you have your hot old friend Haley living with you? And let's not talk about how many hot old friends you have stashed away in your past, cos man, it's just not fair. You're being greedy."

"Haley's just a friend, we're not dating and you know that."

"Yeah, but ..."

"Look," Nathan shut Clay down. "Haley's only staying with me because she's going through some personal stuff right now. Dating is the last thing on her mind, trust me..."

"Ooh, what kind of personal stuff?" Clay leaned forward, interested. "Has she left her husband? Chicks who are going through a divorce are hooootttt! They're all liberated and sexy ... I met this one girl over the weekend, she's just left her husband and she is smoking hot and ..."

Nathan held up his hands in an attempt to shut Clay up. "No, she's never been married, it's not like that. It's just personal and not my business to share it with you. But dating Haley isn't on the cards - she's important to me, but I'm not interested in her like that..."

Nathan trailed off as a flicker of his dream flashed through his mind: Haley's curls spread over her pillow as her bare thighs gripped his hips. Nathan could still conjure up the sweet scent of her and the way she felt in his dream, over a week ago. He coughed, loudly, to shake the image. He had wondered, as he lay in his bed after spending hours listening to the sound of her melodic voice over the phone, if his dream and roaming eyes was really just a product of his deprived body, as he'd been telling himself, instead of a representation of how he really felt about the girl who slept across the hall from him. He had quickly shot that thought down before it could manifest further, with the reminder of how inappropriate and unreciprocated feelings towards Haley would be.

Clay sat back, looking somewhat disappointed before he regrouped. "Look, man, you've been harping on about wanting to find a proper relationship with the right girl all year ... is Daytona the right girl?"

Sighing, Nathan shut his eyes and ran his hands through his dark hair. "I don't know, man, maybe? I mean I haven't known her since we were kids, but at least she doesn't just see me as some kind of Playboy, tabloid-hogging, NBA superstar. She's cool, she's smart, we have stuff in common... it could have potential, you know? And isn't that what dating is all about? Sorting through the potential?"

"Oh Nate, you old romantic, you."

Nathan shot his friend a look. "Look, I'm not asking her to marry me, but she's the first girl who might want to date me for the right reasons, who might actually want to get to know me. Isn't that worth pursuing?

"But yet ... you stood her up," Clay pointed out.

"Yeah..."

"Look, Nate, I'm no expert at this, but if you like her and you think she might like you and actually want a relationship with you, then I would just be honest and grovel like mad."

"You think that will work?"

Clay shrugged, "I have no idea… this is why I don't do relationships."

Both men ignored the blatant lie in Clay's statement. It was only just after his accident when Clay had confessed to a depressed and drunken Nathan that he had lost his young wife, that the parade of beautiful but shallow women in his life was a twisted coping mechanism. At the time, Nathan hadn't judged - he hadn't gone through such a loss to justify his behavior with women, which had been infinitely more prolific than his agent's. Nathan had, at times, wondered if Clay now felt the way Nathan did, and was looking for something more meaningful and serious with a woman, but Clay hadn't suggested otherwise and was happy to occupy his time with a fast turnover of women.

Nathan sighed and leaned back in his office chair. Opposite him, Clay stood up, passing back the sheet of his latest client's demands before patting him on the shoulder and silently leaving the room. Nathan thought about Haley, here in his office, telling him that he was a good man, that he was kind. At a time when he was neither of those things, Haley had been the only one to believe in him, to see this better man that he never thought he could be. Haley had wanted to help regardless. Nathan had strived every day since getting his second shot at college and the NBA to be that man, to live up to someone she still clearly thought he could be.

He knew what he had to do.

The elevator dinged in front of him, the little red arrow light indicating it was on its way down. Pick up coffee, then grovel. Maybe a chocolate pastry from the cafe next door, or something else chocolatey that women could never resist; Nathan figured he'd need all the help he could get.

The doors slid open and Nathan almost half-expected it; Daytona stood in front of him in the waiting carriage.

"Daytona... hey... I was just coming to see you."

The woman arched a delicately shaped eyebrow. "My office is above yours, Nathan. Where exactly were you coming to find me? In the restaurant from Friday night?"

Her voice was icy cool and Nathan winced internally. He had never found himself in this position, it was always the women that pulled out every trick in the book to have another chance with him. He wondered if his success rate would be as poor as theirs.

"I figured the least I could do is buy you a coffee while you listened to my explanation?"

His voice was a mixture of pleading and hopeful and he released a breath of relief when, wordlessly, Daytona stepped to the side to allow him room in the elevator. They rode down in an uncomfortable silence; words of apology and explanation swirled in Nathan's head as they reached the ground floor and made their way to the cafe adjacent to their building. It was only once Nathan had placed a steaming cup of coffee and a chocolate pastry in front of his old friend, ready for takeaway in case she didn't want to hear him out until the end, did he start talking.

"I'm really sorry about Friday," he started.

"I was so worried about you," Daytona burst out. "I hadn't heard from you all night, you hadn't answered my calls or texts ... I didn't know what had happened."

Nathan shifted with discomfort in his seat across from her as she continued her tirade. "You know, I know we haven't seen each other since we were kids, but I took a chance on you, Nathan. I know what all the tabloids say about you, what a player you are... but I chose to believe you weren't that guy, that that stuff wasn't true and the boy I'd spent my summers running around the racetrack with had become a man who treated women with respect, who wouldn't stand anyone up ..."

"I _am_ that guy," Nathan cut in, urgently. "At least, I'm trying so damn hard to be, Toni. I never meant to disrespect you... I'm really sorry, let me explain, please?"

Daytona sat back in her chair and waited, and Nathan could see how that formidable face could be so successful in court.

"I have a friend of mine from school staying with me at the moment, she's been going through a really hard time..."

"She?" Daytona's eyebrow arched again as the single syllable cut through the ice before them.

Nathan swallowed before taking a deep breath. "Yeah, she ... we're just friends, that's all. But she lost both of her parents recently and is having a tough time."

Daytona's frosty face softened at that, and Nathan knew she was thinking about her own parents, especially her father, whom she was exceptionally close to.

"She had to go back to Tree Hill over the weekend, and she called me just before I left for our date. She really needed someone to talk to, her family is a mess and I had to be there for her, she's got no one else... and by the time we'd finished, my phone had died and it was too late."

"And you couldn't have told her you had to go? Or at the very least, that you'd call her back so you could call me and tell me what was going on?"

"It ... I ..." Nathan stammered. "I just really didn't want to make her feel like I couldn't be there for her. She's feeling pretty vulnerable right now and I know she'd feel like she was in the way and not talk to me... Look, Daytona, I am really sorry about what happened, but I promise, I'm trying hard to be a good friend to people who have been good to me... trying to be a better person and do the right thing. That's why Haley is staying with me, and that's why I had to stay on the phone with her that whole time. "

The tightening around Daytona's mouth told Nathan that she still wasn't convinced and he wasn't forgiven just yet. "That's very noble of you, Nathan, and I understand you felt you had to be there, but you have to see that it doesn't feel great knowing you stood me up, with no explanation, just so you can talk to a friend - a _female_ friend, who has been living with you," she emphasized, "all night. I felt so stupid, just sitting there waiting for you, worried out of my mind."

"I know, and I'm so sorry, Daytona. To be honest, I'm not great at this dating thing... I haven't out with someone in a long time, and the truth is, I haven't wanted to go out with someone in a long time, until I saw you again. I wouldn't be here trying to work it out if I wasn't interested in you, or if I was that guy in the tabloids. Please give me a second chance, I really do want to try again." Nathan gave her his most hopeful smile. "What do you say? Do you forgive me? Do you think we can reschedule that date?"

Daytona's blue eyes searched Nathan's, and he held his breath anxiously. "Ok...but..." she said quickly, as Nathan opened his mouth to speak again, "I'm out of town for a bit, I won't be back until next Friday. _If_ you still want to go on that date, we can try again then."

"I do, I will," Nathan insisted, his confidence returning. "Look, there's a charity I'm involved with, they have a fundraising gala next weekend; come with me, as my date. It'll be fun; there's great food, free drink, great prizes to bid on ... and when it goes well, you'll even have the chance to bid on me for a second date." He gave her a cocky smirk that he'd hoped would provide the final blast of heat to thaw the last of her reservations

"Oh, _when_ it goes well, huh?"

Nathan hid his smile when he spotted Daytona trying less successfully to hide hers and waited.

"Alright, fine... "She acquiesced and Nathan let his smile onto his face. "But I don't give out many chances, Nathan, and this is your last one."

He nodded, quickly. "I know, thank you."

She nodded, too, before standing up, clutching her coffee and pastry. "I have to go, but ... thanks," she lifted up the takeaway cup and bag. "I'll see you next week."

"See you."

Nathan watched her tall figure retreat before tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. He was relieved to have gotten a second chance, but he couldn't ignore a nagging feeling that he had pursued it for more than just the opportunity to rectify things with his old friend, and for reasons other than what he'd explained to Clay. It was like he was trying to prove a point. He just wasn't sure what that point was.


	17. Chapter 17

"So you're sure I can't convince you to come to this thing? Bevin always gets the best food, and you get to see me make a fool of myself at this auction."

"I'm sorry, Nathan. As tempting as your offer sounds - " As Haley's breath puffed around them, Nathan chuckled beside her, "- I really just don't feel up to it. And after my last night out, I don't think it's a good idea..."

"I promise, there'll be no karaoke."

Amidst her breathlessness, Haley mustered a small chuckle. "Well, now if there's no opportunity for me to humiliate myself in front of hundreds of people and become an internet superstar, I'm definitely not coming."

The pair reached the bench that Haley had come to associate as theirs, at the edge of the park where they stopped to catch their breaths before turning back to Nathan's house. Well, Haley was sure that Nathan didn't need to stop, but she certainly appreciated it. After the last few weeks, she was surprised to realize that she could run to the park without that singeing ache in her chest. The spring air, still crisp with the edges of winter, felt refreshing, and she could understand, for the tiniest millisecond of a moment, how people could feel better by running.

As if reading her mind, Nathan said, "You're getting fitter."

Haley gave him a sarcastic scoff, that came out sounding like an unattractive snort. "Yeah, Usain Bolt is quivering in his running shoes."

"I'm serious. I know it's not easy to focus on the little things, but they're important. And, you know, I saw you reading yesterday..."

"Oh, that was just Les Mis... one of the boys at the youth center is studying it and I thought I had better brush up on it again so at least I sound like I know what I'm on about."

"But you're reading," Nathan pointed out. "And you're fitter than you were a month ago. That counts for something, Hales. Being fitter ... it's like, your heart is stronger. You're stronger"

Haley looked up at him and couldn't help but be struck by how Nathan was the definition of strong. From his height to the structure of his jaw, the broad muscles of his body, he was strong.

"One thing I learned after my accident is that you have to appreciate the smallest steps of progress."

Haley sighed. "I know, and you're right ... even I've noticed things are a bit better. I'm crying less, I can concentrate more. I'm actually really enjoying tutoring again..."

"See?" Nathan enthused. "That's great!"

Haley chuckled quietly at his enthusiasm. "I can't believe it, but you may have had a point with this running thing. I might even keep this up when I go back home. Or at least find more places to wear these shoes."

Her eyes were admiring the ombre Nikes on her feet, so she missed the change in Nathan's facial expression. "What do you mean, home?"

"Well, I have to go back some time, right?" She turned to the dark haired man beside her. "I'm well aware that when Luke asked you to let me stay, it was only for a couple of weeks … and that was over a month ago."

"Yeah, but it's different now. It has been since the moment you got here."

Haley shrugged. "Maybe, but I can't stay here forever."

Nathan shrugged, too. "Why not? Charlotte's not so bad. It definitely grows on you. And ... well, where do you feel at home these days?"

"There's nothing calling me back to LA, that's for sure..."

"And you're still finding Tree Hill hard to go back to."

Haley was silent, her mind elsewhere as her eyes watched a tree across the park that reminded her of the one in front of Nathan's house, a gentle giant. "Am I selfish?"

"What?" Nathan started to laugh, his face creasing into a frown when he realised she was asking in all seriousness. "Are you kidding me? You're the most selfless person I've ever met. All you do is think about other people."

"No ... that's not true. At least not lately."

"What are you talking about, Hales?"

Haley sighed heavily, her thoughts back to a phone call she had back in Tree Hill. She'd woken up on Saturday morning after talking to Nathan with a vigour she hadn't felt in months, if not since before her father died. Tidying and cleaning her parents' home had kept her occupied and she'd reached a decision that cemented itself in her brain the longer she worked, until, finally, she had the strength to pick up her phone and call he eldest sister.

"I asked Vivian not to sell Mom and Dad's house."

"What?"

Sighing again, Haley tipped her head back, tilting her closed eyes towards the early morning sun. "Yeah ... it didn't go down too well..."

* * *

 _"What do you mean, Matthew's not there?"_

 _"He's not here, Viv. He couldn't bring himself to come back, with Mom and Dad not here... He's depressed, Viv. He's really struggling."_

 _Vivian sighed, a rushing gust of static through the phone line. "It hasn't exactly been a picnic for everyone else. He should be there, he said he'd help."_

 _"It's ok, I'm not mad at him ... I understand what he's going through, actually."_

 _"Haley," Vivian said, in her bossy older sister tone, "It's been horrible, losing Mom and Dad so close together, everything we've been through, but life goes on. It_ has _to go on. People lose their parents every day; it's a natural part of life. We don't all get to sit around some basketballer's mansion, being waited on with nothing to do and none of life's demands. Some people have jobs, have kids they need to get up everyday and handle."_

 _"Is that what you think I've been doing? Seriously?" Haley heard her voice climb higher into an unpleasant screeching tone. "Viv, I've been feeling like hell, when I've felt anything at all, and all I've wanted is my_ family _. People to talk to, people to understand what it's like to lose our parents, and none of you have been there! You all just left me, alone in that house. Nathan's the only one, and Lucas, too, who gives a damn if I get up every morning. If I eat, if I've been able to sleep..._

 _She heard her sister start to interject, but Haley barreled through. "First of all, Nathan does not live in a mansion and second of all, I have not been waited on! I've been trying to get my life together, which shattered after Mom died and my siblings just left me! So maybe I do understand what Matthew's going through, that sometimes, family obligations or not, it's physically impossible to bring yourself to do something. That something hurts_ so much _that you can't put one foot in front of the other. That you can't board a plane to fly to your dead parents house to help your sister clear it out to sell!"_

 _Haley ended her tirade, her voice deafening towards the end, and panting heatedly with her phone clutched in her fingers. The silence stretched on, until Vivian finally spoke in a gentle tone. "Have you been suicidal, Haley?"_

 _Haley sucked in a breath until her lungs were full. "No. I'm ... I'm on anti-depressants, but I haven't been suicidal."_

 _"Good." Haley could hear the obvious relief in her sister's voice. "Look, Haley... I'm sorry you're going through this, I really am. And I'm sorry about Matthew, too, but ... I just don't know what I can do to help. I have seven children, Haley. Seven children. And they need me to be there for them, to be strong for them, to look after them. I can't take on anything more than that and it's taking all I have as it is. I know it's hard for you to understand, Haley, but I'm a mother and ..."_

 _Haley gritted her teeth as Vivan's voice became less gentle and back to the preachy older sister as she carried on talking about her motherly obligations._

 _"I'm not stupid, Viv. I get that you have a family to look after. Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I don't understand."_

 _"Then what do you want from me, Haley?"_

 _"I don't want you to sell the house."_

 _Haley's voice rushed out of her, and for a moment, in the silence that followed, she wondered if her sister had understood her._

 _"What?"_

 _"The house. I don't want you and Drew to sell it. I think we should keep it, for a bit longer at least."_

 _"Haley, you don't know what you're talking about."_

 _"Don't I? Look, Viv, Mom and Dad, they're all over this house. It's the only home we have, the only one we've ever known. It's so hard being here right now, but maybe, in the future... we might regret it if we don't have this house. Matt and I can't be the only ones struggling through this ... maybe, it'd be great to spend some time together here sometime... in the future when we're all ready. It might help us heal."_

 _Vivian huffed out an impatient breath and Haley felt the hope that had started to grow in her as she spoke start to deflate at the sound. "Haley, that isn't the only home we've had or ever known ... for starters, we used to live in another place, a smaller place on Grace Street before you were born. Mom and Dad moved to that house when Taylor was still a baby. And we've all moved on, Haley. We're all married, apart from you and Taylor. We've put down roots elsewhere. I'm sure Quinn will be wanting kids with David soon. We haven't lived in that house for a long, long time. Memories ... they're in our hearts and minds, but we don't lose them just because we sell the house."_

 _As if Haley needed another reminder that she was single, lumped into the same, pathetic group as her siblings viewed flaky, commitment-phobe Taylor. "Last I heard, Quinn wanted to leave David," Haley commented, feebly, at a loss for what she really wanted to say to her sister._

 _"Well, Quinn just needs to stop being so silly. David has a good job, they have a nice home. She doesn't know what she's talking about."_

 _Haley sighed, frustrated at Vivan's constant feeling of knowing what was best for everyone, without knowing anything at all. She had always been so sure-minded, stuck in her ways and obstinate towards thinking anyone who felt differently could be right, or entitled to their own feelings. Emotions crashed through Haley too quickly for her to process them._

 _"Look, Haley. Mom and Dad weren't exactly well off. You know there wasn't much they could leave us."_

 _Even though she knew Vivian couldn't see her, Haley nodded absently to herself. Her parents had worked hard to raise seven children and pay off the house they lived in. After her mother's death, each James child had received a very small amount of money, but any amount, split seven ways, was never going to go far. Haley's mom had never been into fancy jewelry, instead preferring hand-made beads and pieces with sentimental value. Being the eldest, Drew had inherited the sapphire and diamond engagement ring that had been in their family for a handful of generations; Haley had not spared it a thought at the time, but now with any potential marriage for her so impossibly far of, she felt a pang in her heart when she realised that she would never wear her mother's beautiful ring on her finger, like she had once imagined she might._

 _"The house is all they had, and even split seven ways, it's not going to be a huge amount, but it really will help. The market is good at the moment and the house is in good condition ... Look, Haley ... Leo's work is making cutbacks, Wyatt starts college this year," Vivian said of her husband and eldest son. " Mom and Dad would want us to sell the house and put the money to good use, to helping us out. It's just a small way they can still be there for us, even if they're not here._

 _"We're all struggling in our own way. But we don't all have the luxury of being selfish and quitting our jobs and escaping reality. I'm sorry, I want to help you, but ..."_

 _"Please, Viv, please?" Haley begged. "Just... hold off for a little bit longer, at least. I'll work something out. I could live in it and pay you rent..."_

 _Vivian scoffed. "Be serious, Haley Bob. Even if you could afford rent without a job, you'd never be able to pay enough to justify us not selling it."_

 _" I just ..." Haley sighed, defeated. "I just need a way to feel like we're a family again... We could spend this Christmas in the house, just one last time. Say goodbye to Mom and Dad properly, be together again..."_

 _By that point, Haley knew she and her sister were operating on different planets; there was no way practical, take-charge Vivian was going to understand this desperate, emotional plea from her baby sister. It was to Haley's huge surprise when she finally spoke up. " Look, I can talk to Drew about it, ok? Just ... don't get your hopes up. He's keen to get the house on the market just as fast as I am..."_

 _"Oh Viv, thank you, thank you! Thank you so much!"_

 _" Don't thank me just yet. I'm not promising anything, and I doubt Drew will agree... I guess this means you've done nothing to try and pack up the house this weekend, right?"_

 _Haley bit her lip, looking around her family home with their belongings still in tact. "Umm... well I've done a lot of cleaning and tidying," she confessed. "But no packing, no."_

 _Vivian sighed again. "I'll talk to Drew."_

* * *

"She made me realize something," Haley admitted. "Ever since Mom and Dad died, all I've been thinking about is myself. I wonder if maybe I've inherited a bad heart, like Dad, or if I'll get cancer, like Mom ... how long I'll live ... if I'll always be alone ..."

"Yeah, but Hales, surely that's only natural? I mean, I'm no therapist, but it makes sense for you to question your own health and mortality at a time like this. That hardly makes you selfish."

Haley signed. "I don't know, Nathan... Maybe Viv is right. I mean, I don't have anyone else to be strong for. I have been selfish."

"Haley, you have depression. You _have_ to look after yourself." Nathan argued. "Your brother helped himself by not going to Tree Hill, he's dealing with his stuff even though he has a wife and kids. And you're not going to be alone forever, that's total bullshit. So, some loser dumped you... from what you've told me, you wouldn't have wanted to end up with your ex forever anyway."

"That's true," she agreed. "And I see that now, that it wasn't my fault with what happened between me and Chris. But that's the thing ... sometimes I feel like I'm making progress, like I'm digging myself out of this dark pit I've been stuck in ... and then I feel pushed straight back in because of something that's out of my control. I ... I just don't know how I can ever start to feel normal again if I don't even have control over my own life."

"Like I said before, Hales... it's the little things. Finding enjoyment in reading, or music, or tutoring, whatever... That's how you get the strength back to handle things out of your control. But Hales, you're not selfish. Far from it ... your sister is probably just a little jealous right now... maybe she just feels as trapped as you do, but in a different way."

Haley scoffed with disbelief, even though part of her knew that Nathan had a point. She knew that all Vivian had ever wanted in life was to be in a happy marriage with seven kids, just like their mother had been, but sometimes the reality of that could be difficult.

"Maybe..." she acquiesced. "I just don't know where I am right now. I know I'm stronger than I was month ago, I'm just ... I'm not where I want to be, and that's hard."

"And where you want to be is your parents' house?"

"I don't know," Haley admitted with a tired sigh. "I just know that I need to feel like I have a family again, not a bunch of strangers who share the same parents. I can't ever imagine life feeling anything close to normal again unless I have that."

Nathan nodded slowly as the pair made their way back down the street, away from the park. Haley noticed the two blonde, ponytailed girls who continued to walk past Nathan with pretty smiles and flirtatious greetings enter from the other side of the park and she couldn't help but smile wryly, thinking that Nathan's decision to leave was his attempt to avoid unwanted attention.

"So who's the lucky girl you're taking with you to this charity gala thing?"

"Uh... she's an old friend of mine, actually. She moved to Charlotte recently; I hadn't seen her in about 15 years."

Haley raised her eyebrows. "That sounds promising."

She was surprised when Nathan whipped his head towards her, a confused frown creasing his face. "What do you mean?"

"Well... I just meant, sometimes the best relationships start with being friends first, or having a mutual acquaintance ... you know, some sort of history there. I know you're looking for something quite serious these days, and maybe she could be that."

Nathan appeared to mull over what she had said. "Yeah, maybe..."

Nudging him lightly in his side, Haley smiled. "Hey, it's the little things, remember?"

One side of Nathan's mouth lifted slightly. "I know, you're right … it's so stupid, I have a good life – a great life, actually. But all I can think about is the one thing I don't have. I didn't use to be so pathetic."

"You also didn't used to go this long without a girlfriend," Haley joked, with another teasing nudge to his side. "But you're not pathetic, of course you're not. Isn't that something we all want? Someone to love us, to understand us … someone to complete us in a way? You'll find her, Nathan. Just believe that ."

"Believing in yourself is half the battle, right?" Nathan was smirking now, and Haley couldn't help but flush as she visualized her small card, stuck to Nathan's computer screen at work. The fact that her simple words could still be something he took inspiration in to this day still astounded her.

"Exactly… and once you have that sorted, there's only another half to go."

 **I am sorry. Truly. I have made you wait for such a long time for this chapter, and it's complete and utter rubbish. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say. It had to be done; Haley's mental health journey is just as important in this fic as Naley coming together, and I really wanted to show where she was at, what she was thinking and feeling. Families are hard and grief is even harder. I know Vivian sounds like a total bitch, but that's not my intention. Everyone in Haley's family are struggling in their own ways, and while we won't be seeing all of them, it's important to me to show you what Haley is up against and especially that lack of control when you so desperately want it. If I did a really boring job of saying that in this chapter, I'm so sorry. But it's over with now and we can look forward to the next one ... and it comes with a big revelation! Thank you so much for reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter just went on and on, in a different direction to what I had planned, so you'll have to wait for the next one for some exciting stuff that I can't wait to share with you all. I found it quite tricky to write exactly where Haley is at mentally right now; she'll have the chance in a couple of chapters' time to elaborate, so hopefully that will reinforce what I've been trying to say here. It's really important looking into where I want to take this story – how she feels within herself and how she sees herself in Nathan's life. What I'm showing each chapter isn't necessarily the "truth", just how each person thinks, their own opinion. I hope that made sense.**

 **Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, it sets up some interesting things to come.**

"Nathan, do you know where the takeout menu is for that Chinese place we tried the other week?"

Haley climbed the stairs, walking past her bedroom door and further down the hallway in search of her roommate. She found him standing in front of his mirror, white dress shirt unbuttoned at the neck, with two ties hanging loosely over his shoulder. She smiled, leaning against the door frame, watching him.

"Uh... top drawer, next to the refrigerator," he replied, distractedly.

"You nervous?"

Nathan turned to look at her, his dark eyebrows drawn together. "Definitely. This is the biggest fundraising event of the year for us. We rely on it for, like, 90% of our operational costs. If it doesn't go well ... well, I don't want to have to make further cutbacks. We pretty much run on volunteers as it is."

Haley stepped into the room, crossing over to him and pulling the steel grey tie he had been considering off his shoulders and onto his bed, leaving behind a skinny black one. Wordlessly, as if it was a ritual the pair had undertaken together multiple times before, Nathan tipped his head back, baring his throat as Haley fastened the buttons at his neck and wound the tie under his collar.

"I meant for your date, but yeah, the fundraiser, too."

She was pleased when she felt Nathan relax and let out a light chuckle. "Oh yeah ... no, I'm not nervous about that. Should I be?"

Haley smiled again, fastening the tie at Nathan's throat and wriggling it into place. With a pat to his chest, she said, "Not with this tie. You look great."

"Thanks." Nathan turned back to the mirror for a quick assessment. "Sure I can't get you to change your mind?"

"Yes, let me just get some shoes and I'll be gala-ready." Haley joked, with a flick of her hair. Dressed in an old, faded band t-shirt and sweatpants, Haley had planned to spend her evening with Chinese takeout and reading through some practice essays by some of the kids from the youth center. She was apprehensive about the following day, a personal day where she wasn't sure where her emotions would take her on the occasion. Tonight she wanted as much distraction and relaxation as possible, in preparation.

She looked up, momentarily embarrassed to see Nathan's azure blue eyes watching her. "What? ... I was joking..."

He broke the moment with a genuine smile. "No, it's not that ... it's just nice to see you smiling."

Haley felt her bottom lip disappear between her teeth and she ducked her head, bashfully. Over the last few weeks, she'd felt a slight shift in how she felt, to a point where even she could recognize that she was having more good days than bad. It was as if her teary meltdown in Tree Hill had taken everything from her, and the prospect of crying over everything, as she had been doing, was simply too exhausting. While she still felt lethargic, heavy-hearted and far from being in control, she'd found she had moments where she had been able to perform, to feel like the confident, bubbly Haley James she'd always been. For instance, Bevin and the kids she tutored - none of them saw the gaping, inky black hole she still felt in her heart. It was a definite change from the time where she felt she had her depression stamped on her forehead, where everyone could see there was something wrong with her. Lately, there had been times - brief, fleeting moments - where she felt like she had even convinced herself that things could get better.

Things had changed with Nathan, too. There was something about Nathan's kindness and belief in her that created a vulnerability that she had never experienced before. It was like, with each compliment or kind word, her heart pushed and fought against the void that her depression had created, as if dozens of butterflies were fighting to close it. But she had an awareness now, a self-consciousness where she realized the burden she must be having on the man who had offered her his home to stay in. He was always checking if she was ok, spending time running with her and getting her to talk to him. It must, Haley thought, be tiring and burdensome for him, to have to worry about her well-being. It was hard; she felt trapped in a way that she couldn't change her circumstances straight away, she needed and relied on his help and support, but she knew, at some point, she needed to move on and get stronger. It was just taking time.

The doorbell rang through the house, jolting Haley away from her thoughts.

"Damn, Daytona's here already ... she was coming here first because she lives further away from the gala venue," Nathan explained. "Where are my shoes...?" His dark heard turned away, scanning the floor around his feet.

"Relax, I'll get it."

Haley turned and jogged down the stairs, opening the front door to reveal a woman with bronzed red hair, a slinky, emerald-green gown dropped over a tall figure. Summoning the smile that she had been able to conjure earlier in Nathan's room, the glimmer of the old, self-assured Haley James, she greeted her.

"Hi! You must be Daytona. I'm Haley, come on in... Nathan will be down in a second."

Haley stepped aside as Daytona's high stilettos stepped onto the hardwood floor. She didn't fail to notice as her eyes subtly shifted down and back up, assessing the woman who was living in her date's house. Haley wasn't offended; she knew it was inevitable, and was certain that she posed no threat to the stunning woman in front of her. As if she was a threat for the affection of former NBA superstar Nathan Scott, especially the version of who she was right now. It was laughable. And, Haley noted, even in the good old days, she could never look anything like the woman who stood before her did. What surprised her, however, was the way Daytona's jaw dropped in shock at the sight of her.

"Oh my God ... you're a fan of the Fire Pit Band?"

"Wha... huh?" Haley frowned before glancing down, noticing the image on the front of the t-shirt she wore. "Oh, yeah! I actually know the lead singer from when I was in LA. They're amazing live. You've heard of them?"

"Yeah, I was working on the West Coast and happened to be in this little bar in the middle of nowhere at the same time they were performing. I was blown away. I had ' _Dance with me_ ' stuck in my head for weeks." Daytona enthused.

"Oh I love that one! That's my favorite, and ' _Free_ '."

"I'd love to see them live again, but they don't seem to tour over here. How do you know the lead singer?"

Haley opened her mouth to reply, but a heavy thumping sound down the stairs behind them told her that Nathan had found his shoes and she hid a smile as she noticed Daytona straighten up, her eyes roving in a totally different way to how they had scrutinized Haley before. She couldn't blame her, though; even Haley could admire how handsome Nathan looked in his suit. The clean black lines defined his height and broad shoulders, the color making his bright blue eyes stand out. Haley was jolted into realizing how good looking Nathan Scott really was - an admission that surprised her, not only because she had spent so much time with him lately, but because it had been a long, long time since she had noticed the attractiveness of anyone. That sort of thing had been so far off her radar, and the revelation had her blinking, quickly, as she stepped away from the pair.

"Hey Daytona... you look great." Nathan leaned to kiss Daytona's bronzed and blushed cheek, and Haley swallowed a smile as she watched them. She knew Daytona could be a worthy candidate for what Nathan had been looking for - the woman that understood him, supported him, adored him. As she had told him before, Haley believed that a relationship based on a friendship was a great place to start, and she could see how attractive he and Daytona looked together, standing beside each other in their formal clothes. The tall lawyer looked like she belonged on his arm, slim and toned, sleek and polished. Haley wished her tutoring had been effective enough for Nathan to find more flattering adjectives to describe his date, rather than just 'great'.

"Thanks, Nathan ... so do you."

"We should get going, unfortunately I have a couple of interviews to do before the event." Nathan said apologetically, before turning to Haley, his face taking on the serious and protective look he tended to wear with her. "Are you going to be ok tonight?"

She gave him an easy smile, appreciating his concern, but not wanting him to worry and interfere with his big night. "I'll be fine, as soon as I find that takeout menu."

"In the top drawer..."

"Next to the fridge," Haley finished for him, still smiling. "Now go on, you two. Get out of here - you're both far too overdressed to be standing here all night. Go. Have fun."

Daytona gave her a wide smile. "It was lovely to meet you, Haley. If you ever see that singer from the Fire Pit Band, make sure you tell them to get over to Charlotte some day!"

"I will, definitely. It was great to meet you, too...You two have a great night!"

She watched their retreating figures, mentally cheering as Nathan held open the door for Daytona, and watching her beaming smile up at him in return. Haley had to hand it to Nathan, at least his date had excellent taste in music. Daytona was more promising than Haley had initially thought.

The car left the driveway and Haley released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She wandered into the kitchen, finding the Chinese takeout menu where Nathan said it would be. After ordering enough food to feed a small army, she flopped onto the oversized couch in front of Nathan's massive, 60" flat-screen TV, jabbing buttons until a friendly, familiar head shot in the corner of the screen captured her attention. A quick glance to the bottom right of the screen told Haley she had flicked to the E! channel.

"Lucas Scott's book tour heads to Seattle tomorrow, with the heartthrob author promoting his third novel, "The Final Game", the brunette reporter was saying. Even though she was alone in the room, Haley's fingers flew to her mouth to stifle her giggle. It was absurd to her to hear her friend for the past 20 years be referred to as a 'heartthrob author', let alone be a news item on an entertainment channel

"Eagle-eyed fans have spotted Clothes Over Bros designer, Brooke Davis, at the last three of his five appearances, sparking rumors that the two are now an item. Scott's tour will take him around the country, finishing in his home town of Tree Hill, North Carolina next month." The image had now changed to two separate photos of Lucas and Brooke, and Haley snapped a photo of the screen with her phone, ready to tease her friend with.

"Meanwhile all eyes will be on Lucas Scott's younger half-brother, former NBA player Nathan Scott. Scott's charity, the Charlotte Youth Center, is holding their annual fundraising gala at the Omni Charlotte Hotel tonight. It'll be a rare public appearance for the former tabloid-loving point guard, who has been avoiding the spotlight after his pro basketball career was tragically cut short with an injury last year. E! News will have a live, exclusive interview with Nathan Scott at 6pm. Stay tuned."

Haley was relieved to see that the station had chosen a photo of Nathan on the court in his Bobcats' uniform, rather than the trashy ones that always used to appear in the magazines after Nathan had been snapped partying with various women. She couldn't help feel angry and indignant on his behalf over the 'tabloid-loving' comment, knowing how hard Nathan had worked to change his behavior and his image, and how far he was from ever 'loving' the attention the media gave him for his off-court exploits. For all the good he was doing with his charity, it didn't seem fair to label him that way on national television.

Poking another button on the remote, Haley muted the screen, going to collect her essays and wait for her dinner and Nathan's interview to come on. Glancing out the front window, she saw the tall tree, standing like a silent sentinel over the property, steady and still in the absence of a breeze. Haley took a deep breath and wondered how things had changed so much in such a short time. Perhaps it was her thoughts and trepidation about tomorrow causing the reflection, but it amazed her that two of her closest friends had become people the E! channel was interested in - her oldest friend, and what was even stranger, his brother, who had become the most supportive, caring person in her life in a short month.

Haley exhaled, shaking her head to herself. Life was full of surprises.

* * *

"So will I know anyone there tonight, apart from you?" Daytona asked, as the black car made its way towards the hotel where the fundraising gala was being held.

"Well, Rachel, my secretary, will be there with her husband. And you know Clay … Clay met some girl a couple of weeks ago, some woman who left her husband and has just been travelling around for the last month or so… anyway, he's bringing her tonight… He's been pretty quiet about her, which is unusual for him. He must really like her." Nathan turned his head to look at the woman sitting beside him, lifting the side of his mouth in an amused smirk. "Clay and Rachel love giving me a hard time, anytime I have to make a fool out of myself in the name of charity, so you'll have to keep them in line when I have to go on stage… but they'll do their best to raise the bidding."

Daytona smiled, "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten," she patted the gold clutch that was resting on her lap. "I've got my checkbook."

Nathan grinned in reply. "I realize it's not the smoothest move, making you bid on our next date, but I promise, it's for a good cause."

"I know … um … I was wondering, did you want me with you when you do your interviews?"

Nathan looked over again, noting the wary tone of his date's voice. "It's up to you," he replied cautiously. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, you don't have to come with me if you don't want to."

Daytona gave him a grateful smile. "It's just that this is technically our first date. I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about it being so public… Not that I want to keep it a secret, I'd just rather avoid a press line for our first time out together."

"I understand that. Bevin has arranged for the interviews to be held outside the hotel. I can get her to take you straight to the ballroom when we arrive if you like, and I'll join you afterwards?"

"That sounds perfect."

Nathan nodded. He knew Daytona wasn't like the fame-hungry women he'd previously had on his arm, for whom the attention was as much as a perk as the man himself. He was aware of how hard he had to work to make up for their failed first date attempt, and was happy to keep her away from the media. Bevin had been careful to select a small number of interviews for him, knowing that the youth center relied on a certain amount of exposure for fundraising opportunities, but how tenuous Nathan's respect for the media was, based on previous experience.

His thoughts drifted to Haley, a fleeting image of her dressed in a gown similar to Daytona's, something he'd never seen Haley in before. He couldn't even remember their senior prom, what she had worn or if she had even gone. His thoughts at the time had been occupied by whether or not his date had worn a thong under her slinky dress, and when he was going to find out. He envisioned Haley beside him, listening intently to the questions being asked of her, speaking passionately about efforts of the Charlotte Youth Center, her eyes sparking, looking radiant.

"Hey … where'd you go?"

Daytona's voice, so different from the girl he was imagining, jolted Nathan out of his reverie. He felt his face flush with a level of embarrassment he rarely achieved, giving himself a mental slap to stay present.

"Sorry," he cleared his throat, purposefully.

"What were you thinking about? Looked like something nice."

Nathan worked his throat again, fighting the temptation to loosen his tie, uncomfortable knowing from Daytona's light, almost flirtatious tone that she assumed he had been thinking of her. His thoughts were far tamer than the visions of his dream, but they felt somehow dirtier with the knowledge that he was on a date… with someone else.

 _Focus, Scott. Keep your head in the game_.

He smiled at her, more thankful than he could say when the car pulled up to the entrance of the grand hotel that was hosting the gala. Bevin, resplendent in a silk red shift dress, was already making her way to the car. Holding it open to allow Daytona to step out.

"Hey guys, great timing." She inclined her head slightly to the left, where, peering through the back window, Nathan could spot half a dozen reporters, photographers and cameramen waiting. "Daytona, come with me, let's get you a drink while we wait for Nathan to do his thing."

His date gave him another beaming smile, giving his leg a light squeeze before slipping out of the car. "Good luck."

Nathan nodded his thanks, waiting for the two women to enter the hotel before exiting the car himself and making his way over to the waiting media. He unbuttoned and re-buttoned his jacket, pulled his shoulders back and plastered a smile on his face as the lights began to flash.

* * *

"Hey, how'd it go?"

Daytona's wide smile greeted Nathan as he stepped into the ballroom of the hotel. A glass of white wine was held in her delicate fingers and Nathan appreciated just how polished and poised she looked, as if she belonged there. He grinned back at her, but it was the woman standing beside Nathan that answered for him.

"It would have gone fine; Nathan has the media eating out of the palm of his hand." Rachel teased, her rounded stomach more prominent in her fitted dress. Beside her, her dark-haired husband kept his arm protectively around her still-tiny waist. "They all want a piece of him even more now he's a recluse."

The two couples laughed.

"Dean, good to see you again," Nathan stuck out his hand to his secretary's husband to shake his greeting. "Thanks for coming."

"What, and miss out on you strutting your stuff on the catwalk?" Dean teased. "Not likely."

"Honey, I don't think he'll be stripping … this time," Rachel gave her husband a sly smile and Nathan groaned.

"Come on, Daytona, let's see if we can find Clay... I wonder if any of the applicants for the maternity leave secretary position would want to come on board permanently." Nathan threw a joking look over his shoulder as he guided Daytona away, leaving both Rachel and Dean laughing and shaking their heads.

"This place looks amazing," Daytona marveled.

"Yeah, Bevin has really outdone herself."

The huge room was impressive anyway, with large chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. A long table had been set up to one side of the room, lit up with lights and displaying the numerous silent auction items that were available for bidding. Bevin had done her best to attract a wealthy crowd, some prominent Charlotte society members who would be generous with their donations to the center. Nathan spotted Clay at a table with someone and guided himself and Daytona in their direction.

"Nate, you're just a sight for sore eyes. Even fully clothed you'll be able to raise enough money to replace the heating system at the youth center," Nathan's business partner stood up as the pair approached, embracing him in a manly hug. "Undo a few of those buttons and you've got yourself at least 5 more computers…"

"Yeah, yeah," Nathan rolled his eyes, good-naturedly, slapping Clay's hands away from where they were currently pretending to undo his tie and buttons. The last time he had participated in the celebrity auction had been two years ago, and he knew his former agent – and his secretary – would never let him live down his antics, playing up to the crowd by stripping down to his pants and flexing his muscles.

Nathan's eyes shifted to the woman beside Clay. Tall with honey blonde hair, there was something vaguely familiar about her. Her eyes were blue, but reminded him of someone. He frowned slightly, searching her face to see if he could recall meeting her before.

"Hi, I'm Nathan Scott," Nathan held out his hand politely for the woman to shake, hoping her name would jog his memory. God, he hoped he hadn't slept with the woman Clay was currently head over heels for.

The woman pursed her glossy lips together, eyeing Nathan carefully. "I know," she replied, and the terse tone of her voice surprised him. "I know who you are.

"I'm Quinn Fletcher … well, Quinn James… again. I'm Haley's sister."


	19. Chapter 19

**I am not even going to get into everything that has prevented me from updating this story for the past month, but thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and stayed for the ride. You're all amazing. I hope this chapter is worth the wait. I'll explain a bit more at the end.**

" _I'm Quinn Fletcher … well, Quinn James now… again. I'm Haley's sister."_

"You're ... what?"

The silence had stretched on, immeasurably. Nathan stared at the woman in front of him, and even as his incredulous voice sounded out, he could see she made sense. Quinn James was tall, at least half a foot taller than her sister, with the sort of toned, athletic body Nathan had seen on cheerleaders. She didn't have the soft curves that shaped Haley's body, and her eyes were a different color, but the similarity was there; they were definitely sisters.

Nathan's eyes flicked to Clay's, who had gone quiet and was watching him carefully. "Are you serious?"

"Nathan..."

His business partner knew him better than most people, and could sense the anger simmering beneath his steel blue eyes. Nathan ignored the warning tone.

"Did you know about this?"

"Yes," Clay nodded. "I did."

"Then why the hell is she here?"

"Nathan!"

Clay's admonishment was overridden by Quinn, who spoke up defiantly. "I'm here with my boyfriend. I'm also supporting your charity." Her blue eyes shifted to the tables on the other side of the room that held the silent auction items. "I'm a professional photographer; I've donated some photo shoots to auction off.

Nathan scoffed. "Boyfriend, yeah ok."

Quinn rested a hand on Clay's forearm, silencing him before raising a shaped eyebrow at the former NBA star. "It's a bit rich of you to question his motives with me... Where's my sister tonight?" She gave a brief glance towards Nathan's date, who stood silently, watching the trio uncertainly.

"She's at home ... she hasn't quite been in the mood to get dressed up and go out lately. She's been struggling to have a good time since her parents died. Unlike you, apparently." Nathan bit back.

"Home?" Quinn challenged, ignoring the barbed comment. " _Her_ home is in Tree Hill, but she hasn't been living there in a long time ... thanks to you."

"She's been living with me because she needs some support, that she hasn't been getting ... _thanks to you_." Nathan shook his head, incredulously. "You have some nerve. I can't believe you'd show up here, to my charity event, with _him_ ," he jerked his head towards Clay, "while for months Haley's been struggling on her own, desperate for family support."

"Ok, that's enough." Clay cut through them like a parent disciplining two fighting siblings, his voice like ice. "Nathan, I need to speak with you."

Without giving Nathan the chance to speak, Clay seized his upper arm, pulling him away from the group and towards a less crowded space across the room. Despite being slightly taller and a bigger build, Nathan allowed himself to be dragged along.

"What the hell was that about?!"

Nathan turned towards his business partner, not bothering to hide the anger he felt. "What the hell was that about? What the hell do _you_ think you're doing with Haley's sister?"

"Not that I need to disclose my personal life with you, Nate, but we met in a hotel bar when I was scouting in Florida and she was there for work." Clay's voice was sharp with the warning of anger. "She's staying with me for a while... She's an incredible woman."

"Yeah, she's a real winner, Clay ... her parents die and she just abandons her sister and leaves her husband to run off with you."

"You don't know a fucking thing about her, Nate," Clay spat at him, a coldness in his voice Nathan had rarely heard, and it had never been directed at himself before. "You don't know the first thing about what she's been through ... and she sure as hell doesn't owe _you_ an explanation."

Nathan opened his mouth to speak, but his friend ignored the gesture and continued. "She had a call from another sister on Thursday, an older, bossier one" - Nathan knew, from what he had heard from Haley, that Clay was referring to Vivian - "and it was only then she found out that Haley had been living with you, and that I learnt they were sisters." Clay heaved out a breath as his uncharacteristic anger quickly dissipated. "I don't want to get involved with their family problems, Nate, but I will protect my girl just as much as you protect yours."

Nathan's mouth opened again, but this time he found he had lost his words. "She's ... she's not ..."

"You know, for someone with an opinion about everyone else's love life, you're really stupid with your own," Clay noted with a shake of his head. "You've been protective over Haley since the minute she arrived and you bailed on guys' night with us... How secretive you are about her, the way you were worried about how she'd feel over those karaoke photos... and let's not forget all the crap you've pulled with Daytona over there," two pairs of blue eyes, one decidedly guiltier than the other, simultaneously glanced over to the other side of the room, where Daytona and Quinn appeared to be talking. "And don't think I don't know that Haley was the one to write that little note that stuck to your computer screen." Clay shook his head as Nathan stared at him.

"If I seem protective, it's because I'm trying to look out for her ... now you know that she lost everything all at once, what she's been through ... can you blame me?" Nathan retorted.

Clay shook his head again. "Do you really not see it, Nate? Or are you in denial? Because for a guy who's been looking for a meaningful relationship for the past year, you sure are blind."

"Look," he continued, his voice softer now. "The one thing I learned after I lost Sara, is that you've got to make the most of every opportunity. The way I felt about her ... the way I feel about Quinn now... it doesn't come around a lot, Nate. You don't want to miss out on that."

Nathan's mouth continued to gape open like a fish as his eyes darted around the room in desperate search of words. "Clay, I ..."

Clay huffed out a small breath, one side of his mouth lifted in an amused smile as he shook his head again with affection, all traces of his previous anger gone. "Yeah, buddy ... I know... but she needs to know, too."

"I can't... it's not ... I'm..."

Ever the school smart-ass, Nathan had never been at such a loss for words before, as he stood helplessly in front of his friend and business partner. Clay had, Nathan now saw, the smug glow of a man who had requited feelings for someone special, tinged with the pitying look when confronted with someone not in the same, giddy, blissed-out boat. Before Nathan could order his tongue to work, Bevin's blonde head appeared between them.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Nathan, but the Murray's are here and wanted to say hi." She looked anxiously over to where one of the richest couples in North Carolina were standing nearby, and Nathan knew he needed to clear his head and focus. Schmoozing to families like these were part of the deal when you were responsible for a charity organization.

"Sure, Bevin, let's go." Takin a deep breath, Nathan turned away from Clay and followed her, smoothing out his tie in the way he wished he could smooth away Clay's words and insinuations. His head was a jumble of thoughts, but as the wealthy couple drew nearer, Nathan knew he had to clear them from his mind and focus. He'd deal with them another time.

He just didn't realize exactly how soon that time would come.

* * *

Forty five minutes later, Nathan's cheeks hurt from the effort of smiling. It never ceased to amaze him how rich people attended these things just to be seen, to rub shoulders with people who had the misfortune of having careers in the spotlight. Nathan knew Bevin relied on his presence in the charity to raise awareness and deepen people's pockets, otherwise he would have been quite happy to always stay in the background, doing what he could do to help the kids. It just felt like most of the people were there to help themselves first.

He'd caught Daytona's eye a few times while he had been talking to the Murrays, and the two had shared a smile, but now she was nowhere to be seen. Grabbing a drink, he wandered over to the tables holding the silent auction items, trying to look deeply immersed in them so no one else would disturb him. He saw that signed editions of Lucas's books were getting generous bids, and smiled to himself as his mood lifted. The local travel agent had gifted them an all-expenses paid holiday to LA, and thinking of Haley and her brother Matthew living over there, Nathan scribbled his name and a bid on the accompanying sheet of paper. Further along, he could see Quinn's auction had attracted a long list of bids, and he couldn't help but feel grateful for her generosity as he admired the examples of work she had provided for bidders to see. Professional family photos would be popular with the crowd of guests they had that night, and Quinn was clearly talented.

"Mom always wanted me to open a gallery, with a studio out the back so I could take photos like these." Quinn's voice spoke up beside Nathan as she nodded towards the smiling families that were propped up on the table. "But I loved to travel too much to be tied down to one space."

"Maybe you'll open up something here," Nathan commented.

Quinn quirked her lips in acknowledgment. "Maybe."

There was a pause, before she spoke up again. "I think we got off on the wrong foot before... I didn't meant to be so defensive. In fact, I'm grateful for what you're doing for my sister."

Nathan turned to look at the tall woman beside him, who so resembled his roommate. "What did Clay tell you?" He asked, suspecting the reason for Haley's sister's change of attitude towards him.

Quinn didn't bat an eyelid, her reply was immediate. "That you're in love with my sister, but you either don't know it yet or you're too afraid to admit it."

"And what do you think?"

Quinn regarded him carefully and Nathan felt the absurd sense of wanting to look good in her eyes, to stand up to her scrutiny.

"I think it's a little bit of both."

The breath Nathan didn't realize he had been holding whooshed out, quietly. His head screamed for time, for some space and some quiet to process the difficult feelings Clay and Quinn were bringing to the forefront of his mind, ones that he had been trying his best to avoid thinking about. "I don't think it's as simple as that."

"Why not?"

He turned to the older James sister. "Haley's been through a lot... She's _going_ through a lot... However I feel about her - and I'm not saying you and Clay know how I feel - but however I feel about her isn't something she needs in her life right now. She needs something reliable, some support. That's all I'm doing... I owe her. She was there for me when no one else was, when I needed someone the most..." He trailed off.

Quinn nodded slowly and turned to look at the table, and for a surprised moment, Nathan thought he had a reprieve, until she spoke up. "My sister is inevitably feeling lost, alone and unloved ... surely hearing that someone is in love with her is a good thing?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you," Nathan decided.

Quinn nodded again. "I understand. I just want you to know, though ... with Clay ... it's serious. I think I'll be sticking around awhile."

"Sure," Nathan shrugged. "I'll stay out of your business, if you stay out of mine."

"Do you know what tomorrow is?"

Nathan nodded. "Yes."

"Would it be ok if I came over to see her?"

"Of course ... you don't need to ask my permission, Quinn. I just don't want you asking about my personal life. That's none of your business … but Haley? She's definitely your business."

Quinn gave a small smile. "We have a deal."

The pair exchanged understanding nods as Nathan spotted Daytona emerging from the bathrooms. He turned away to join her, before turning back again. "Actually, there is one thing you can help me with..."

* * *

"So, this is like your worst date ever, right?" Nathan asked, as he slid wearily into the empty seat next to Daytona half an hour later, reuniting with his date for the first time since they had arrived at the gala.

She gave him a dry smile. "At least you showed up this time."

Nathan winced at the reminder, rubbing his head apologetically. "I'm sorry you haven't seen much of me tonight. It's just ..." he trailed off, spotting the vivid red of Bevin's dress as she approached the pair.

Daytona's glossy, red-painted mouth tightened as she, too, saw Bevin. "It's ok," she said, tightly. "You're needed. Go."

Nathan was already standing as Bevin reached him. "It's nearly show time... I need you to say a few words before we get started."

Nathan nodded, obligingly, draining his drink. Daytona gave him a small smile as he turned to head towards the stage.

By the time he'd reached the front and mounted the steps to the microphone, Clay and Quinn, and Rachel and Dean had found seats at the same table as Daytona, but the crowd blurred into one as Nathan cleared his throat and stepped closer.

"Thank you everyone for coming tonight," his voice sounded out over the speakers across the room. "The Charlotte Youth Center is very fortunate to have your support. Without it, we wouldn't be here."

Smoothing his tie in a display of the light nerves that he always tended to experience when public speaking off the basketball court, Nathan continued. "We also wouldn't be here without the extraordinary management skills of the center manager, Bevin Mirskey, who organized everything tonight. Thank you, Bevin."

The blonde flushed as Nathan turned to the side of the stage and applauded her, the rest of the room following suit. When the noise died down, Nathan took another deep breath.

"I opened this center because there can never be too many people who give young people a second chance. We all know how confusing and difficult being a teenager can be; there's a struggle to conform, and to fit in - with friends, and then again with the boundaries and rules set by school and parents. We don't always know who we're going to be at that age, but the rest of your life is being shaped, whether you like it or not... Someone once showed me that you can find the good in everybody, if you just give them a chance, the benefit of the doubt... and that's what I think we do at the Charlotte Youth Center. We give kids another chance, and we help them to believe in themselves. Because that's another thing I've learnt - that believing in yourself is half the battle."

The lights were so bright in Nathan's eyes that he couldn't focus on the crowd, and he couldn't see his business partner and secretary mouth the end of his sentence along with him, exchanging knowing smiles.

"Thank you all for allowing me the opportunity to help these kids in a city I've come to love so much... a city I'm proud to now call home. Thank you for your support."

The crowd erupted in applause again and Nathan stepped back, as Bevin moved forward to announce the start of the celebrity auction. As Nathan moved towards the backstage area, his former teammate and the player who had replaced him as current hotshot Point Guard, Devon Fox, strutted onto the stage as the music began to blare. There was a mixture of laughter dominated by loud cheering as the NBA player unzipped the warm-up jacket he was wearing, showing off a finely-sculpted body.

Nathan laughed to himself, marveling at how far he'd come from being that man up on stage. He had only been out of the professional game for a year, but so much had changed. He'd changed.

The guests were energized and enthusiastic, bidding generously on an extravagant date night with the basketball superstars Nathan had been able to arrange. Bevin had purposely placed Nathan last on the list, and by the time it was his turn on the stage, the crowd was borderline delirious with excitement. Nathan tried his best not to stand too awkwardly, once again marveling at how, once upon a time, he was confident and cocky enough to remove his clothing in front of a large group of strangers. Unsure of what to do with his hands, he touched his cuffs and belt buckle, straightened his tie and stuffed them in his pockets, trying his best to ham it up in a more discreet way than he was known for. He knew Clay and Daytona would be amongst the bidders, and Rachel and Dean would be cheering him on, but no voice was more distinguishable over the deafening cheering and screams. He was vaguely aware of the volume surging higher as Bevin announced that he was the first and only person to receive a bid of four figures, but the shouts and raised hands kept coming as Nathan tried his hardest not to squint through the blinding lights, and act cool and composed.

"Sold, for $1,200 to the lady on the right!" Bevin exclaimed, slamming down her gavel with a single, solid thump.

Nathan exhaled with relief. He had no idea who the lady on the right was - the crowd was still a sea of bodies in black - but he was grateful to be escaping the sharp lights of the stage. He nodded appreciatively in that general direction, before walking off towards the side of the stage.

The former teammates that were still milling around gave him claps on the back and he greeted them, distractedly, his eyes scanning for Daytona. Finally, her bronzed head appeared, talking and smiling with Bevin as she handed over a check in exchange for the white envelope with the information of the dinner package that was part of the winning prize.

Nathan smiled at her as she approached. "I knew you were into me, but $1,200?" he teased.

When he noticed that Daytona wasn't returning his smile, his face dropped, concerned. "You ok?"

"Yeah ... yeah, I'm fine ..." She handed over the envelope and Nathan looked at it, confused. "I didn't contribute the whole amount, Clay, Rachel and her husband pitched in."

Nathan frowned. "Look, I don't know what you planned on doing on this date, but I'm pretty sure Bevin only arranged a dinner for two ..."

"There's not going to be a date, Nathan." Daytona interrupted, gently. "Look ... I really like you, but I just don't think it's going to work out."

Nathan's eyes met her regretful pair and a jolt of understanding hit him. He sighed, quietly. "Look, Daytona, whatever Clay or Quinn said ..."

"They didn't have to say anything," she interrupted again. "I'm not that naive, Nathan…The reason why you stood me up for our first date, how worried you were about leaving your house this evening, who you've spent this entire night talking and thinking about …" Daytona shook her head, sadly. "You know, I really thought we could make something work. We've known each other for such a long time, but it's just too obvious that you don't have room in your heart for anyone else but Haley..."

"She's not in my heart!" Nathan exclaimed immediately, but even to his ears, he knew how weak and half-hearted his protest was, how confronting the evidence that Clay, and now Daytona, were presenting to him truly was.

"Nathan..." Daytona started, softly. "I'm not stupid. And, considering the circumstances, I'm not mad ... I just don't want to waste my time. And I can't think why you'd want to waste yours."

"I ..." Nathan trailed off, helplessly. Thoughts were flying around his head, stringing together in a long thread that felt like it was wrapping around his tongue.

"Why did you ask me out, Nathan? Why did you pursue this date so much?"

Nathan swallowed; his mouth felt dry and thick. He wasn't that insensitive, selfish man anymore and he knew he owed Daytona an explanation. He just didn't know if he could find one.

"I guess ... I thought..." He shrugged, helplessly. "I just saw you again and I thought - you know, like you did - that we could make something work... I didn't really think about, you know ... how I might have felt about ... you know..." The name Nathan wanted to say the most was in the forefront of his mind, but he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. He felt hopeless and helpless, disappointed in himself for letting his old friend down.

"She doesn't know how you feel, does she?" Daytona asked, gently.

Speechless, Nathan simply shook his head.

"Why haven't you told her?"

This wasn't Clay. It wasn't Quinn. Nathan eyes searched the ceiling, genuinely looking for words, for an explanation - for Daytona and for himself

"Because I didn't want to admit it ... because she doesn't feel the same ... because it scares me to death."

Daytona sighed. "I'm not going to sit and counsel you, Nathan. Just … now that you've admitted it, I just hope it works out somehow."

Nathan nodded dumbly, overwhelmed by the tumble of emotions.

"I'll um ... I'll call myself a cab."

"Daytona…" Nathan finally spoke up. "I'm so sorry."

She shook her head. "It's ok. We still have to work together sometimes, I don't want it to be weird, Nathan. We're both grown-ups; these things happen."

Nathan just nodded again as Daytona stepped closer and reached up the short distance on her heels to lightly kiss Nathan's cheek. "Take care."

"You too."

He stood there, watching Daytona's retreating figure, feeling simultaneously numb and stupid. When she stepped through the revolving doors of the hotel, Nathan made his way to the table where his colleagues and their partners sat.

"Hey, everything ok?" Rachel's voice was gentle, and Nathan knew that his omniscient secretary had seen what had happened, and even though she hadn't heard what was said, she knew enough.

"Yeah ... here, this is for you guys. Enjoy an all-expenses paid date night before the baby arrives," Nathan said, tossing the white auction envelope on the table between Rachel and Dean. "I'm going to take off. Thanks for coming, guys." He looked towards Clay and Quinn. "See you tomorrow."

He turned and wove through the tables, walking fast in order to deter the remaining guests from talking to him. Out in the cool spring night, Nathan sucked lungfuls of fresh air, his brain seeking a reprieve from everything that had transpired. He knew he had to carry on as normal; that was what was best for both him and Haley. Her recovery was the most important thing, his feelings couldn't - and wouldn't - interfere with that.

His car was brought to the front of the hotel for him, and jumping into the driver's side, he sped off. He just wanted the nigh to end, to get home.

To be where Haley was. 

* * *

**I just wanted to quickly point something out, in case I haven't been able to portray it effectively in this chapter. I have deliberately not gone into Nathan's feelings for Haley here, I wanted to focus on how everyone around him seems to know how he feels and how it's becoming unavoidable. This isn't to say he's in denial, and I don't want to frustrate you wonderful readers, but I simply want to show that Nathan has a lot in his mind and even though we haven't seen what's going on in his head, we see why he doesn't want to pursue anything with Haley and declare his feelings. He's got his mind made up that Haley's recovery comes first and that she doesn't need any further complications. I hope you'll enjoy his journey now that he's more aware of how he feels :-)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Firstly, I need to apologize for the delay in posting this, and inevitably, future chapters. I think I've done a pretty good job of updating fairly regularly since starting this story at the start of this year, but I don't know if I can sustain the frequent updates. Lately I've found that I've been so mentally fatigued that writing this story has gotten really difficult. I've been rewriting things so many times just to be happy with it, and obviously that's so time-consuming. My brain is just shutting down. I definitely won't be abandoning this fic - that's not even an option for me. I'm really sorry, I know how frustrating it is to get into a story and have to wait so long for the next chapter, and I will continue to do my best, but I figure I'd probably write better if I didn't feel like I was letting people down by waiting ages for the next update!**

 **Secondly, I love your reviews and I love hearing from you. Just to address something a guest reviewer mentioned in the last chapter (sorry I can't reply directly) about Haley's siblings and how they've been treating her - yeah, it doesn't seem right or fair, especially as we're seeing Haley's side of things and we're loyal to her, but I think everyone reacts differently with grief and things that should bring people closer can often make them drift apart, or be really selfish. I'm not going to go into all of Haley's siblings in this story (although a few more of them pop up later), but this chapter should show a bit more of an understanding into where I'm going with it in terms of them. They're not deliberately treating her badly, it's just how life is. I've tried to write things based on my own personal experience of grief and losing family, to keep it as realistic as possible.**

 **Thank you for reading this massive author's note, I hope the length and contents of this chapter make up for it and for the wait! When we last saw Nathan, he'd come face to face with the fact that he has stronger feelings than just physical towards our lovely Haley, and I hope you enjoy seeing how that goes for him. I'd also just like to mention that both Haley and Nathan's feelings and what they think or say in this chapter isn't necessary what's true, but it's what they believe, if that makes sense. And it's what they believe that makes what they do and how they behave going forward really important. Enjoy! x**

The sky was already a bright azure blue when Haley woke up, one of those surprising spring days where the sun reminds the weary world that it won't always be gloomy and grey as it distances itself from winter.

Moving from the window to the mirror that hung above the dresser in Nathan's spare room, Haley examined her reflection. She wasn't sure what she was expecting to see - it wasn't as if there would be grey hairs threaded through the long braid she had tied before going to bed the night before, or pronounced wrinkles carved around her chocolate brown eyes. It still surprised her, however, to see that she looked almost normal; not just the same as she did the day before, but how she did _before_. Before everything changed, before she started feeling like a stranger in her own head. The circles under her eyes were faint, her complexion milky - she'd never be a tanned, bronzed goddess like so many of the girls that surrounded her in California - but no longer grey and pallid. The bones beneath her flesh were less pronounced.

Normal.

She didn't know how long she'd been looking like that for - Haley had done her best to avoid mirrors for the last few months, nothing more than a cursory glance to make sure she didn't have food all over her face or something like that - but it was surprisingly pleasing. After feeling as if her grief and depression was tattooed on her forehead for all to see, she realized that it was easier to pretend to be normal when she looked that way.

A thunderous clatter beneath her, followed by a muttered, but clearly audible curse, had Haley moving away from her reflection and towards the bedroom door. Her second surprise for the morning was seeing Nathan's bedroom door open, further up the hall. Although he was an early riser during the week, Haley had grown accustomed to not seeing him until late morning during the weekend. It was then that she registered that it was after 11am - the latest she'd slept in for years – and she noticed that her eyes were void of the tight, dusty feeling of lack of sleep. She hadn't taken a sleeping pill the night before, but had expected to feel what had become customary - the whirring and churning of her brain in the darkness, rolling her body over from one side, to her back, to the other side in restlessness. She hadn't remembered the moment she'd dropped off to sleep, but she also couldn't remember the long stretches of wakefulness that usually plagued her.

Pulling a sweatshirt over her pajama top, Haley headed down the stairs with surprising lightness to start the day.

Downstairs, the kitchen was white. Fine, dusty powder covered the island bench in the middle of Nathan's kitchen and spilled over onto the floor. A large stainless steel bowl lay upended on the tiles a foot away from where Haley stood, confusion and disbelief contorting her face. Nathan himself stood, shirtless in sweatpants and bare feet, frowning at the counter. Flour dusted his almost-black hair and had even settled into the grooves of the muscles in his stomach, spreading to his shoulder as he reached up to scratch the side of his neck with a dough-covered hand.

Haley stared. "Nathan?"

Nathan looked up, and Haley saw that he looked as bewildered as she felt. His eyes were wide, like a deer's caught in headlights. Silence filled the room for a long stretch before he blinked, straightened his shoulders and gave her a beaming smile.

"Hales! Happy birthday!"

* * *

This was exactly why Nathan Scott didn't cook.

Coughing, as he tried to expel the dusty flour from his lungs, Nathan consulted the hastily scribbled piece of paper in front of him. Behind him, a pot of broth boiled away, dangerously bubbling over the rim and splashing its contents onto the clean stove. He knew he had forgotten something, dough couldn't be this hard to stir, could it?

His shirt, wet with a previous attempt to move an over-filled pot of water from the sink to the stove, stuck uncomfortably to his skin, so he peeled it off as he tried to scan the list of ingredients. As he threw it into a corner, the stove protested in a loud sizzle and the chicken broth overflowed. Moving hastily to turn down the heat, Nathan's elbow hit the mixing bowl, causing it - and the large bag of flour perched precariously on the edge of the bench - to crash onto the floor.

"Fuck," he swore, as the noise echoed around his large kitchen. Even though it was late morning, he hadn't wanted to wake Haley. Lately it seemed that she was sleeping better, catching up on the countless hours she had missed since grief had overtaken her.

 _Haley._

Her name in his mind reminded Nathan of the night before. He had come home early from the gala to find no trace her, except an empty bowl and spoon in the sink and the sweet, floral scent mixed with the smell of the shampoo he had bought her lingering by her bedroom door - a scent that he had come to associate with his roommate, a scent that he had begun to crave. He was glad that she had already gone to bed, unsure of what he would do or say if he'd seen her while the thoughts were tumbling fresh through his mind.

The thoughts and feelings that Clay, Quinn and Daytona had stirred up in his mind were dangerous, he knew that. He had packed them away, but throughout the night and this morning, they were like Pandora's box, threatening to escape, begging to be noticed. Unlike the box of feelings he had harbored about his father and about his knee injury, Nathan couldn't bring himself to mentally throw them away, never to deal with the contents, so it sat in his mind, waiting for the chance to peek out and be examined.

"Nathan?"

Like now.

Haley stood in the doorway, her face furrowed in confusion. Nathan didn't think he had ever seen her wear makeup, with the exception of their night out, and even then it was light and minimal. She didn't need it, she had a natural beauty - carved lips tinged with pink, her eyes the color of a freshly brewed pot of coffee framed with naturally long lashes. Had she always been so beautiful? Had that feeling in his chest always been his heart thumping hard at the sight of her? Her Stanford sweatshirt was neither fitted nor baggy, the cardinal color strong against her pale skin, and she was wearing the pants Nathan knew she wore to sleep in - soft, light cotton that sat flat against her hips, and even though he couldn't see behind her, molded itself to her ...

No. Nathan introspectively shut the lid on those thoughts. Although, from his perspective, they were the least dangerous of the thoughts he was carrying, he knew he couldn't let that train continue on its journey. It was bad enough to acknowledge the physical lust and appreciation for Haley's body, but a totally different issue when he knew there was something far more potent waiting to be felt right behind it. He needed to exercise some self-control

Hastily, he realized that Haley was still standing there amidst the chaos of his kitchen, understandably waiting for a response. Giving himself a mental shake, he beamed as if this was a perfectly normal situation to be in, shirtless and covered in flour.

"Hales! Happy birthday!"

Her chocolate eyes widened in surprise as they took in the mess, trying to piece together what has transpired in the usually spotless and unused kitchen.

"What ... what's going on in here?"

Nathan swallowed hard. It belatedly occurred to him that his plans may give away the feelings he was desperately hammering the lid shut on. Was his gesture appropriate of a caring, platonic friendship, or was he unintentionally overstepping the line drawn in the mental sand by broadcasting his deepest feelings?

"Um... well... it's your birthday," he stammered, stupidly. "If there was ever an appropriate day to have birthday chicken dumpling soup, it would be today, right?"

"Birthday ... chicken..." Nathan watched as Haley mouth his words, silently and incredulously. Her eyes were like saucers as she stepped further into the mess, taking in what was visible beneath the eternal coating of flour: the haphazardly chopped vegetables that Nathan had cut too much of, clumps of softened butter that had refused to be mixed into the dough and hurled themselves out of the bowl in protest, chicken bones that had burned Nathan's hands as he tried to pry them from its flesh while they were still submerged in boiling water. Nathan felt as nervous and tense as if he were being scrutinized by Gordon Ramsey.

"You cooked?"

Haley's voice was so soft and incredulous, and Nathan waited, anxiously, as if she were about to fling an accusing finger in his face and scold him for entertaining uninvited feelings for her. When this didn't happen, he cleared his throat and spoke up. "Um... well I tried to..."

All of his senses were on high alert as, suddenly, Haley's small body pulled him into a hug. It certainly wasn't the first time he'd held her, but it was the first since his friends had pushed terrifying feelings into his head, and Nathan stood there uncertainly. He was well aware of her soft cheek on his naked chest, and how his arms hung limply by his sides until, realizing how unnatural he was acting, he tentatively moved them until his fingertips met each other on the small of Haley's back. She felt warm. She felt like she belonged there.

"Uh... so this recipe is insane and clearly I need some help," Nathan tried to joke, pulling out of her embrace unwillingly, yet casually, not wanting to hold on any longer in case he couldn't let go.

"Of course you do," Haley laughed, lightly, and Nathan caught the way her fingers brushed against her eyelashes to swipe at the moisture that had appeared. "This is a two person recipe."

She turned to him with the widest smile he had seen since their high school days, and he felt his heart thump in his throat. He wasn't sure how he could stop himself from exploring the feelings people were so certain he had, but he knew, with that smile, it wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

The smell in the kitchen was positively mouth-watering. While Nathan had cleaned himself up and put on a fresh shirt, Haley had wiped down the floor and counters, and the pair had worked fluently together to finish the soup. Only the sound of an occasional pop from the stove could be heard as Haley peered into the large saucepan.

"Oh my gosh, Nathan, there are so many dumplings in here... The two of us are going to be eating this stuff for days!"

Haley noticed Nathan's back stiffening, his eyes on the clock above the oven door. "Uh, well... It's actually not going to be just the two of us... I invited a couple more for lunch..."

Her heart sank as she felt her previous exuberance die away, as if she were a balloon that was shriveling up as air seeped out. How had Nathan, who had been so tirelessly considerate of her feelings and well-being up until now, think that she'd appreciate company on today of all days?

The feeling of disappointment sliced through her as the unmistakable sound of a car crunching through the gravel on the driveway sounded. She hadn't expected to be celebrating her birthday today in any form, and she was pleasantly excited by the idea of having a special lunch alone with Nathan. By the time she'd opened her mouth to speak, Nathan had begun moving towards the door.

"Nathan..."

"It's ok, Hales. I'll be back in a second."

She was left standing in the kitchen, alone and still in her pajamas, as Nathan greeted his mystery guests. She heard quiet murmurs from the hallway; Clay was the first to enter, his trademark wide smile stretched across his face.

"Happy birthday, Haley!"

He wrapped her in a brief hug while she stood, motionless and confused. Nathan had invited Clay for her birthday lunch?

"Here," Clay thrust a small, unwrapped, white cardboard box into her hands. "It's not much, but..."

It didn't take Haley long to lift the lid of the box and pull out a blue mug with the Fortitude logo on the front. She frowned up at him. "A Fortitude mug? Clay, you shouldn't have."

Seemingly missing her dry sarcasm, he replied, "Well I wouldn't want to miss your special day."

Haley was about to reply when she saw his eyes were trained above her head, behind her, and he had barely heard her speak. Turning, she was stunned into a momentary silence when she spotted who Clay was looking at.

"Quinn? What are ... what are you doing here?"

Her older sister moved into the kitchen. "Happy birthday, Haley Bob." Her voice was gentle, its cadence so warm and familiar that Haley felt tears instantly prick at her eyes for the second time that morning.

"I don't understand ... what are you doing here?" She repeated, her eyes darting to Nathan for answers. She could see now that he looked nervous, and he wasn't as casual about his invitees as she'd initially thought.

Haley didn't miss the way Quinn's eyes met Clay's for a moment, before she replied, "I didn't want to miss your birthday."

Haley was confused, with burning questions she wanted answers to weighing on her mind, but the overwhelming urge to hold her sister was greater. Without a word, ignoring all the feelings of abandonment and frustration she felt towards her family, she ran the few steps towards Quinn and threw her arms around her.

"I'm so glad you're here," she whispered into Quinn's Dior-scented neck, as Quinn's arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Hey," Clay's voice spoke up behind her. "I know it's only lunchtime, but I could do with a beer. Should we go and get some, Nate? And some wine for the ladies?"

"I've got some here," Nathan's confused voice replied from behind the James sisters.

"But I don't want _that_ crappy beer, I want that stuff from the store down the road." Clay's tone was obvious and, even though Haley couldn't see him, she could almost hear the way his head was nodding towards the door.

"Ohhh, yeah, that stuff is great," Nathan finally cottoned on. "We'll be back soon."

The men made a hasty exit and Quinn laughed fondly, as the sisters pulled away from each other. "Well that wasn't obvious at all!"

"I guess they weren't sure how I'd react to seeing you, but now that they know that you'll be safe, they wanted to give us some privacy," Haley mused.

Quinn's blue eyes looked at hers, searchingly. "I wasn't sure how you'd react, either. I'm so sorry, Haley Bob... I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you."

Haley pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she felt the ever-familiar sting of her eyes filling with tears again. "Why weren't you?" she asked, hating the way her voice sounded vulnerable and needy. "Quinny, what's been going on with you?"

With a sigh, Quinn sat down, her fingers idly carving lines through a small amount of flour that Haley had missed, before finally looking up.. "You know, Mom and Dad were crazy in love with each other."

Haley narrowed her tear-filled brown eyes, uncertainly. "I know that..."

"No," Quinn shook her head. "Like _so_ madly _in love_... they were each other's other half, they were best friends ... and I don't think it really hit me, I didn't understand until I saw Mom lose Dad... I saw what real love was like."

Haley remained standing and silent, watching and waiting.

"Me and David ... things haven't been good for a long time, even before Dad died. He's not the same guy that I married ... or maybe I'm not the same girl... but we've grown apart; he's not my best friend, my other half. I couldn't stay with him, Haley. He's not the one for me."

Haley was a smart girl. Despite her surprise and confusion, she hadn't missed the looks that had been shared in the room earlier. It didn't take her long to piece together why her sister was back in North Carolina.

"And Clay is?" She couldn't help the slight disbelieving, judgmental tone that was in her voice.

"I don't know," Quinn admitted, shrugging in a matter-of-fact way. "Maybe, maybe not. But he makes me smile, he cares about who I am and what I have to say. He's taken a really awful time in my life and made it better... made it a lot better. He makes me happy."

Haley studied her older sister. Quinn did look happy, happier than she'd seen her in a long time. But when the last time they had been together had been at their mother's funeral, she wasn't sure if it was saying much.

With a heavy sigh, Haley whisked off the tear that had dotted her cheek and sat down opposite Quinn. "That's all I want for you, Quinny ... to be happy."

Quinn reached across the table to grab hold of Haley's hands. "That's all I want for you, too, Haley Bob. Viv told me that you're not with that poser musician anymore, and I'm glad ... he wasn't good enough for you. You deserve so much better; someone who really cares about you."

Haley shook her head, feeling the tickle of the loose strands of hair that hung around her face. "I don't think you get it, Quinn. I have depression... I'm on medication, I have to see a therapist... how I feel, what's wrong with me? It's not like a heartbreak. I don't even care about Chris anymore. It's like my whole soul is shattered."

Quinn was so far off the mark with what would make Haley happy these days. She had never been one of those girls who had based her happiness on her success with men anyway, but she couldn't imagine a flirty wink or a semi-respectable chat up line breaking through the weight that had chained itself to her heart. Her depression transcended the buzz of a new relationship, but she couldn't expect Quinn - newly separated and excited over the start of an even newer relationship - to understand that. Quinn's life may have improved because of Clay, but Haley couldn't imagine entangling herself with another human being. Not now.

"I don't want anything like that at the moment, Quinn. A relationship is the last thing I want ... I'm a mess. I don't even recognize myself anymore… I'm… I'm scared of new people, constantly second-guessing myself and others… I cry for no reason and every reason … I don't have a job, I don't have parents anymore… I don't know who I am. Who would even want someone like me?"

It was meant to be a rhetorical question, but Quinn replied without skipping a beat. "Someone who already knows exactly who you are. Someone who knows you for the selfless, kind, brilliant Haley that you've always been, and who'll help you find her for yourself again."

Haley dismissed the compliment with another shake of her head. It wasn't even modesty; she genuinely didn't feel that girl was still inside her anymore. Her heart was so heavy and shattered that she needed to keep it to herself to piece together, she couldn't have anyone else in her life taking her attention away from that. "The thought of getting close to someone again, the effort of a relationship..." she physically shuddered. "I have such a long way to go before I can even feel like me again. No ... a relationship? Definitely not."

Quinn studied her thoughtfully for a moment. "Okay," she agreed, easily. "Just remember, Haley - life is so full of surprises. Don't shut yourself off from finding a love as incredible as Mom and Dad's, ok?"

With a sigh, Haley agreed to placate her sister. "Sure, Quinny. I won't."

Quinn stretched out her hand, gripping Haley's cold fingers in her own. "But you're getting better, aren't you?" She asked, imploringly.

"I think so..." Haley sighed again. She knew she was, she had seen it for herself in the mirror just an hour ago. She knew she wasn't that empty shell that had left Tree Hill for Charlotte, but everything felt so temporary, normalcy felt so far off.

"It's just so hard to believe that things will be better, will get easier. Since Mom and Dad died... I mean, they're never going to come back. That's permanent... How is life supposed to get easier when I remember that? And look at what's happened to us as a family since then, Quinn! How can I believe that I'm going to feel better when the glue between us all has gone?"

Quinn's face was etched with sadness. "It does get better, Haley Bob. You _have_ to believe that. Nothing is wrong with our family - just because we're all grown-ups doesn't mean it's not hard losing our parents. We're all just finding our feet, getting through the grief in our own way."

"I just thought we'd stick together, find our way together..."

"Look, Haley, I can't speak for the others but Mom and Dad were all I thought about, and it just hurt too much. Now ... well, it hurts, but it hurts less. I just needed some time, and the others will get there, too." The grip on Haley's fingers tightened as Quinn's blue eyes bored into her dark ones.

"I'm here for you now, Haley Bob. I won't be going anywhere for a while."

* * *

The sun was being pulled down behind the trees in Nathan's backyard, sending pink and orange streaks through the purple-tinged sky. Quinn and Clay had long gone, the girls spending a few hours talking together and Quinn promising to return the next day to take Haley out for lunch. Haley watched the sky, not seeing anything, deep in thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Nathan's voice beside her made her jump, and she looked over to see the tall man carefully settling into the chair next to her, balancing a bottle of beer, a tall wine glass filled with bubbly yellow liquid and an armful of snacks. Haley raised her eyebrows at him when he passed the wine glass over to her.

"It's sparkling grape juice," Nathan explained, tossing a packet of M&Ms onto her lap. "Let's not get too crazy... although I'm pretty sure Grease is on Netflix if you were really keen."

Haley laughed lightly before taking a sip of the sweet drink. "Thanks ... and I don't think my thoughts are worth that much."

"I owe you an apology..."

Nathan's voice was nervous enough to have Haley turning towards him in confusion and surprise.

"I should have told you about Quinn... I shouldn't have just sprung it on you the way I did. I'm sorry."

Haley shook her head. "Oh Nathan, you have nothing to apologise for. Honestly, I'm glad. It was good to see her. _So_ good to see her"

"Is everything ... you know, is everything ok between the two of you?"

He was still sounding tentative and nervous, and his constant thoughtfulness touched Haley.

"Yeah... I mean, there really wasn't anything wrong in the first place. Quinn's right... we all deal with grief differently, we're all going through our own stuff," she confessed. "I just need to keep remembering that. I've been so wrapped up in myself and how I've been feeling, I forget that my brothers and sisters lost their mom and dad, too."

"That's still no excuse not to check in every once in a while. They couldn't know if you were handling it well or not. I mean, the second you told Luke that something was wrong, he wanted to help. That should have been someone in your family."

Haley shrugged. "Lucas is family. I guess I spent so much time with him, thinking that he and Karen needed me more than my own family, it just became a habit for them. But at least I have him..." she looked over and smiled warmly at Nathan. "And you."

Nathan returned the smile. "What do you make of Clay and Quinn?"

"Clinn..." Haley laughed at the conjoined name. "I don't know... I mean, I don't really know Clay that well, but Quinn seems really happy. Maybe she's right, maybe David wasn't right for her. If Clay makes her happy, well then that's good."

"Yeah," Nathan agreed. "Clay seems really happy lately, too. I mean, I only found out about Quinn last night, but it seems like they've been together for a few weeks and it's going well. They do seem good together."

Haley suddenly turned towards Nathan as she registered what he had said. It hadn't occurred to her that her sister's relationship with his friend and business partner would affect him, too. That her own presence in his life could complicate things for him at work. She frowned.

"Is it weird for you? That Clay's with my sister? You know, while I'm living here?"

Nathan's mouth quirked downwards as he shook his head. "No, why would it be weird? I've always tried to stay out of Clay's personal life, and that certainly doesn't change because you're here. Anyway, you said to me the other day that you wanted to feel like you had family around you again, that you couldn't begin to feel normal without that... so having Quinn here is a good thing, right?"

Ignoring his question, Haley shook her head, pursuing her original thought. "I just don't want my family stuff being a problem for you. I know you just got things back on track after your injury, Nathan. The last thing you need is me and my family getting in the way or complicating things."

"Hales, we've talked about this. You're not in the way. I want to help you."

Nathan's voice was firm and Haley merely nodded in response. Before she had the chance to reply, Nathan picked up a small, gift-wrapped parcel that he had brought out and passed it over to her.

"Before I forget, this came for you. It's from Luke."

Haley tore into the light blue wrapping paper, laughing when a black Clothes Over Bros gift card tumbled out. She wondered if Brooke and Lucas had spent a day apart since he had left for his book tour, happy for her friend that his high school crush seemed to be every bit as keen on him as he was on her. The main present was a hardback book, bound in dark blue. Turning it over, she recognized it as Lucas' latest novel.

"Cheapskate," Nathan chuckled, ripping open the box of Cracker Jacks on his lap as Haley opened the heavy cover.

The crisp white pages settling into their position, ready for reading, and she was surprised to spot her name on the front page after the title. The black italicised text read:

 _For Haley - Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise._

"What does that mean?" Nathan's eyebrows furrowed.

Haley stared at the words, her eyes beginning to tear up for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "It's a quote, from _Les Miserables_..." she explained. "One of my favorite books, I've been reading it again for tutoring. Wow... I have a book dedicated to _me_. That's so cool."

"I uh... I didn't get you a present..." Nathan's voice was filled with regret. "I'm so sorry - with Quinn and the dumpling soup, I just kind of..."

"Oh Nathan, honestly, no," Haley waved him off, embarrassed. "I wasn't expecting anything today... I didn't even think you knew it was my birthday. You have done so much for me, already..."

She turned towards him to see he wasn't even listening. He'd torn open the wrapping of the Cracker Jack prize, his trademark smirk lifting one side of his face when he saw what was inside.

"Here," Nathan shifted so he was facing her, leaning over to grab her hand. "It's for you."

His blue eyes were sparkling, brighter than the pool water in gleaming sunshine. Haley felt her face heat at the intensity of his stare, a warmth spreading throughout her as his smirk grew. He slipped a plastic bracelet over her wrist, where it settled, clashing with the deep red cuff of her Stanford sweatshirt.

"Don't say I never gave you anything."

Haley stared at the brightly colored beads as the warmth in her body reached her toes. There was a feeling inside her that she hadn't had in awhile, its unfamiliarity taking some time to place. When she recognized it, she allowed the happy tears in her eyes to spill down her cheeks. From everything that had happened that day, this feeling was a gift she hadn't expected to receive.

Hope.


	21. Chapter 21

**This chapter was incredibly hard to write, so I've posted it now mainly because I don't want to work on it anymore! It contains a character that's too horrible and unrealistic, and I didn't want to write it. I've done the best I can and I hope I've gotten the point of this chapter across without making too much of a hash of it. I'm really sorry.**

 **Obviously, the words from 2x01 that I used here aren't mine. If you're still reading this, thank you for your incredible support and patience! Your reviews mean so much to me.**

It surprised Haley how quickly she had fallen into a routine since living with Nathan. Between volunteering at the youth center, her therapy appointments and dutifully making time to follow the pamphlets' advice on doing things she loved, Haley's days were filling up. She never felt at a loss for things to do, with long periods of time stretching on for infinity and plaguing her troubled mind, like how she used to feel in Tree Hill. Charlotte could, Haley had discovered, grow on you very quickly.

Quinn evidently felt the same way, as she chatted away to Haley about her upcoming weekend meeting Clay's parents. While she hadn't specifically told her how long she would be staying with Clay - and Haley assumed it was a topic that the new couple hadn't wanted to examine just yet - the two sisters had gotten into a pattern of spending time together each day. While Clay and Nathan were at work, and in between Haley's existing routine, Haley and Quinn had spent more time with each other than they had in years. Sometimes talking about their parents, but usually talking about everything and nothing at all. For the first time since she was a little girl, Haley finally felt like she had a sister and a friend.

Quinn's nervous rambling about making a good impression on Clay's parents was interrupted by the sound of the door shutting. The sisters looked up to see Nathan walk past, idly flicking through the day's mail. He glanced up, as if surprised to see the two women curled up on his couch, raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement and made a hasty retreat from the lounge.

Haley frowned. It wasn't the first time that week Nathan had behaved this way. It was as if he was trying to put as much distance between them as possible. This week, he had suddenly become too busy to run with her in the morning, and often disappeared as fast as he could after dinner.

"Ooh, if Nathan's home now, that must mean that Clay isn't far away," Quinn eagerly reached for her phone.

Haley was barely listening, watching the hallway where Nathan had disappeared down.

"Nathan has been acting really strangely this week..." she voiced her thoughts. "He's barely spoken to me, he's always rushing out of the room, saying he's busy..." She looked at her sister, whose thumbs were tapping against her phone screen.

"Maybe he is busy," Quinn replied, absently. "Clay said he signed some huge player recently."

"Yeah..." Haley was unconvinced. "It's just that even when he's been really busy, he's always been around to go for a run in the morning with me, or hang out after dinner. Now it seems like he bolts out of every room I'm in. Seriously, did he not seem weird to you just now?"

"You run?" Quinn looked up from her phone, amused. "And I don't know if he's been acting weird, I only met the guy last week at the charity gala; I hardly know him."

The lightbulb that went off in Haley's head was shockingly bright, as her eyes widened in realization. "Of course! The charity gala, how could I have been so stupid? He's trying to start a relationship with Daytona, and here I am in his house, cramping his style... No wonder he's been avoiding me lately."

"What?" Quinn's brow creased in confusion. "Daytona? But..."

The trill of Quinn's iPhone cut in between them, and her voice trailed off as she spotted the name and image on the illuminated screen. "Oooh, its Clay!"

Haley rolled her eyes as her sister snatched up her phone and started gushing to her new boyfriend, as if they hadn't just seen each other that morning. As Quinn spoke, Haley mentally validated her thoughts about Nathan's behavior. She had said herself that a relationship with an old friend was one with promise, and knew that Nathan was looking for something serious. Surely after their date at the charity gala, Nathan and Daytona had become closer and wanted to pursue a relationship? And here she was, taking up space in Nathan's home, a place where she knew he considered his sanctuary and safe place. She felt bad and guilty for not understanding Nathan's change in behavior sooner.

"Clay's on his way home, so I'm going to meet him with our bags. Love you, sis, see you on Monday!"

Haley barely had time to register that Quinn was off the phone before, with a kiss on the cheek and an excited wave, Quinn was skipping out of the room. Moments later, Haley heard the front door shut. Sighing, she heaved herself up from the couch, wandering out into the hallway to find Nathan. It was a conversation they needed to have, no matter how hard it would be.

She heard muffled noises from the back of the house, and following the sound, she headed towards his office/home gym. Nathan was grunting with the effort of lifting weights up and down over his chest. Haley didn't know a lot about gym equipment, but the round black discs on the end of the silver bar he was holding looked big and heavy, and pronounced veins snaked their way through the hard muscle of his straining biceps.

Sucking in a deep breath, she spoke up. "Nathan, we need to talk."

Metal clanked harshly as Nathan struggled to put the bar back into place. "Jesus, Hales..." he was gasping for breath. "Don't sneak up on a guy when he's lifting weights, you scared the shit out of me."

"I wasn't sneaking... you saw me in the living room. You know I'm here in the house ... or is that a problem for you now?"

Nathan sat up, slowly, wiping his face with a small towel. He took a long drink from the water bottle that had been sitting by his feet, before looking up at her with a frown. "What are you talking about?"

Haley took a deep breath, not meaning to sound so sharp and accusatory. She needed to be brave to have this conversation and potentially hear something she didn't necessarily want to hear. If Nathan wanted her to leave, then she would have to work something out.

"If you don't want me here, you need to tell me. We're both grown-ups here, Nathan. I know I haven't been well, but I'm not a child and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't treat me like one."

Nathan's expression didn't change. "Once again ... what are you talking about?"

"I know why you've been acting strangely lately, and I understand if things are different now between you and Daytona... I know you're trying to be supportive and helpful and you wouldn't in this position if you weren't helping out your brother, but..."

"Haley, what are you talking about?"

Nathan's voice had cut through her nervous stammering, so loud and demanding that, for a moment, it scared her. It took Haley a second to realize that her thoughts were a jumble and were coming out of her mouth that way. She took another deep breath, willing her brain and her mouth to work together.

"What I'm trying to say," she began again, shakily, "is that if you and Daytona are becoming more serious and having me around the house is going to be a problem, then I just want you to be open about it and tell me. I can work something out ... maybe I could spend a night or two at Clay's, you know, now that Quinn's there, if you need some privacy, or ..."

Haley was still talking when the loud chime of the doorbell rang throughout the house. Her roommate stood, towering above her as he moved towards the door.

"Haley, you don't..." Nathan stopped, abruptly, before shaking his head. "We'll sort this out later."

As Nathan walked past her, Haley turned to watch him walk down the hall towards the front door. Amidst the nerves that swirled inside her stomach, she hadn't missed the look of relief that crossed his face.

* * *

Nathan hurried towards the door, never more grateful for the noisy interruption and whoever was causing it. He had been terrified when Haley had first started talking, certain that Quinn had divulged to her younger sister what had been said between them at the charity gala last week. While he was glad that Quinn was around - and Haley certainly seemed happier - it was nerve-wracking, knowing the two sisters spent so much time together. Growing up as an only child, he'd never fully understood the relationship siblings could have with each other, and he wasn't sure if he could trust Quinn to keep her thoughts to herself. It was that fear that had caused him to panic, to raise his voice the moment she had mentioned Daytona's name. He had felt borderline hysterical with relief when he had discovered that Haley's rambling was so far off the mark, and the ringing of the doorbell had given him a welcome reprieve. Regardless of who was on the other side, Nathan felt like he had dodged a bullet. He knew, at some stage, he would have to admit to Haley that his relationship with Daytona had ended well before it had even started, but he figured that could wait.

Relief was still running through him, slowing his speeding heart rate as he opened the door to an unfamiliar face. The man on the other side was paunchy with a stern expression and rumpled clothes. He looked older than Nathan, and not like the type of basketball fanatic that ever so occasionally found their way to his front door.

Nathan frowned. "Can I help you?"

The surly expression didn't change, and reminded Nathan of the teachers he'd had, who'd been wholly unimpressed with him and his behavior at school.

"Yes. I'm looking for my sister."

Although he could undoubtedly be referring to anyone else, Nathan was still surprised when Haley's astonished, but delighted, voice spoke up from behind them. "Drew! What are you doing here?!"

The man's frown got deeper, causing Nathan to frown. It wasn't a common expression people used when seeing Haley. In fact, he wondered up until now if Haley did anything other than make people smile when they saw her. This man was her brother?

"Come in, come in..." Haley stepped in front of Nathan to open the door wider, nervously casting her eye back at him, presumably to ask permission to allow this man into Nathan's home. Nathan just shrugged and walked off to give them space. He was hardly in a position to stop Haley from seeing her own brother, no matter how grumpy the guy seemed to be. He wasn't sure if it was curiosity or hunch, though that had him stopping out of sight, but within earshot, as the siblings moved into the lounge.

"It's so good to see you, Drew." Haley gushed. "How are you? How are the kids?"

"I've spoken to Vivian." Haley's brother's voice even sounded gruff, and Nathan couldn't get the disgruntled teacher image out of his mind. "This nonsense has got to stop, Haley."

Haley was clearly as thrown by her brother's response as Nathan was. "What ... what do you mean?"

"You were asked to start clearing out Mom and Dad's house, and here you are, living it up in some mansion with some NBA has-been." The words made the frown on Nathan's face deepen to a scowl. "I don't have time for this, Haley."

"I'm not ... I mean..." Haley sounded helpless. "What did Vivian say to you?"

"That even though you lost your job and have no income at the moment, you want to buy Mom and Dad's house... but you can't possibly live there right now and do what you were asked to do, because, no, that would be _far_ too difficult for little Haley to do. Haley, when are you going to stop forcing yourself onto the God-damned Scott family and pay attention to your own flesh and blood?"

"Drew..."

"You're behaving like a child, Haley. I don't have time to traipse around the country to collect my flaky sister. I'm not your father."

Nathan had never met Haley's dad before, but something told him that he was nothing like the man that was berating Haley in his living room.

"You're right, you're not _Dad_ ," Haley emphasized, angrily. "And I didn't ask you to come to _collect_ me! I told Viv that I just needed some space and some time away from the house. It's too much, being there right now... Stop treating me like... like I'm Taylor or something!"

Haley's voice cracked and Nathan felt a weight in his stomach. Even though he couldn't see her, he could hear the tears in her voice, and it physically hurt him.

"No, you're not Taylor... because even she understands how we all benefit from selling the house. And you're the only one, with nothing better to do, who can help clear it out so we can get it on the market as soon as possible. Some of us, Haley, can't live off other people to survive. Some of us are in the real world where we have mortgages to pay and mouths to feed and have to work for an income to provide for all that."

Nathan was fuming as he stood silently beside the doorway, fists clenched.

"You're making a fool of yourself, Haley. And of this family. It's one thing to throw away a perfectly decent and respectable career, but live off some basketballer like you're his whore..."

"That's enough!"

Nathan didn't even feel his feet propel him forward and into the room. The thundering in his ears as his blood swirled was deafening. He mind cleared enough to take in Haley's wide, frightened brown eyes and the shocked face of her brother next to her.

"You don't get to come into my house and talk to her that way," Nathan raged. "Get. Out."

"Nathan..."

Haley's voice was alarmed, but Nathan ignored her as his anger and his clenched right fist propelled Drew towards the door and out of the house. Nathan followed, slamming the door behind him and walking forward until he was less than a foot away from the other man cowering beside the rented sports car that sat in the drive. He wished there was a wall he could push Haley's brother against, but his obvious fitness and strength, as well as his height, seemed to be doing an effective job of physically intimidating the older man.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Talking to Haley like that? She's your _sister."_

 _"_ I..." The arrogance and confidence of Haley's brother appeared to have seeped away at the sight of Nathan's rage.

"Do you think your parents raised you to talk to a woman like that? To call your sister a _whore_?! Fuck you, man," Nathan spat. "She's depressed, she just wants to feel safe and loved and her own fucking family treat her like shit."

Drew James opened his mouth to speak, but Nathan steam-rolled ahead. "If you can't provide for your own family, that's your own fucking fault. But don't blame Haley, you heartless, money-grubbing bastard... she's just trying to keep what's left of your parents' memory. She doesn't want to lose the house."

Nathan's breathing, harsh to his ears, filled the space between the two men.

"I just ... I just..." Drew stammered.

"Spit it out." Nathan stepped back a few paces, allowing his anger to simmer down as he realized that Haley probably wouldn't condone him beating the lights out of her oldest brother.

"I didn't want Haley to be burden on you..."

"Haley could never be a burden on anyone," Nathan shot back. "All you're concerned about is money, not about your sister. That's pathetic."

"I'm, I'm sorry... things are tough, man..." It gave Nathan little pleasure to see how dramatically contrite the other man was now being, given what an asshole he had been to Haley before Nathan's fist had been in his face. "I just thought ... Mom and Dad... they'd want to help... selling the house..." Drew trailed off, helplessly.

Nathan stared into the man's brown eyes, the same shade as Haley's but otherwise the complete opposite of the kindness and warmth that resided in his sister's. A vision flashed in Nathan's mind - the former tutor and her old student, sitting under the setting stars a week ago on Haley's birthday, the look on her face before he stood up to leave. It was that look that unhinged his mouth open before his brain could think of anything else.

"I'll buy the house."

"You'll ... what?"

"I'll buy the house," Nathan repeated, with more conviction as the idea cemented itself in his brain.

Drew's beady eyes narrowed with uncertainty. "How much?" he challenged.

Nathan named a price. Significantly more than the house was worth, he was certain, especially when he saw how bright the greedy eyes of Haley's brother shone at the amount.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. But on two conditions."

Drew's body cringed, like a child asked to share his favorite toy. "What's that?"

"You're going to get into that ridiculous rental of yours and get the hell out of here. Then you're going to call Haley and apologize and beg for her forgiveness as if your life depended on it. She's going to forgive you, because that's who she is - always giving the least-deserving scum a second chance."

"And the second condition?"

"You're not going to tell her that I bought the house. You're going to tell her not to worry about it and that she can have all the time she needs."

The beady eyes narrowed. "What do you get out of this?"

"I get to do something that will actually help Haley."

The two men watched each other warily, waiting for the next move. A small voice in Nathan's head told him that Haley would probably be mad at him for the gesture, but he quietened it, telling himself that he was just buying Haley some time. Time had no price value, right?

"Deal," Drew stuck out a pudgy hand and Nathan shook it, immediately wiping the residue of sweat off on his shorts with a shudder.

"Now, get out of here. My lawyer will call you to sort out the house stuff - _after_ I hear that Haley has forgiven you and is happy again."

Drew moved into the car at a speed that Nathan surmised he hadn't used before. He watched it retreat down the driveway, before he turned back towards his house. He had a feeling in deep in his stomach, that feeling like he was falling.

He just didn't know what he was falling into.

* * *

Haley's vision was blurred as she tossed her clothes into the small bag she had brought with her from Tree Hill. As quickly as the tears overflowed and dripped down her cheeks, her eyes filled again. Her new COB jeans filled the top of the bag and she threw them back on the bed; her mind was whirring too fast to deal with having more clothes than she arrived with. She pried the plastic Cracker Jack bracelet off her wrist, the elastic band snagging against the edge of her fingernail as she placed it on the bed, with more care than the jeans. It was a symbol of hope that she no longer had.

"What's going on here?"

Nathan's voice was deep and confused. Haley turned, the movement causing a fresh sheet of tears to spill over, to see Nathan leaning against her doorframe with a frown on his face.

"I have to leave ... I can't stay here, I can't keep..."

"You can't keep what?" Nathan prompted.

"I can't keep burdening you with my mess of a family... you didn't ask for this - for me, to have Quinn hanging around, my brother turning up... I just... I saw the look on your face, when I had finally caught on about Daytona. You need your life back Nathan and I need to get out of your way. I have to go."

Haley pressed the back of her hand to her nose to stem the unattractive flow, as she closed her eyes in an attempt at composure. She just wanted everything to stop, to rewind to last week to sitting on Nathan's back porch, or to last year before her father had staggered to the dusty ground of the local hardware store.

"I never said you were a burden."

Haley just shook her head, her mind so convinced of Nathan's feelings that she wouldn't hear otherwise. "Did you hit my brother?"

"No," Nathan confessed, stepping further into the room. "I wanted to, believe me. But I thought you'd be mad if I did... you know, in high school I always thought that it was pretty sad that you wanted Lucas as your big brother, but now I get it. Your actual big brother is a -"

"Nathan!" Haley admonished him, a preemptive strike that cut off the adjective that he had been about to say. "Drew is my brother!"

"He called you a whore!"

Haley felt the air escape her body in a huff. She sat on the edge of the bed and gripped her head in her hands, squeezing tight as if it would make everything go away. After several deep breaths, she lifted her head. Nathan was still standing a few feet away, watching.

"What did you say to him?"

Nathan's voice was matter-of-fact when he replied, "I told him that he couldn't come here and speak to you like that ... that he couldn't speak to anyone like that. And I told him to leave and call you when he's ready to apologize."

"Is that all you said?"

Nathan's eyes shifted around the room. "More or less..."

"Nathan..."

"Look, Haley, I don't care if he's your brother. No one gets to come here and upset you."

Haley's body shuddered with fresh tears, as if demonstrating how unsuccessful his statement was.

"Haley, you could never be a burden on anyone," Nathan stated, and Haley was unaware that he had spoken the same words to her older brother just minutes before. "I like having you here. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't, but that's not the case. Look, I'm sorry if I've been more ... distant... this past week, but that will change." She felt the mattress underneath her dip as Nathan settled next to her. "It's got nothing to do with Daytona or ... or anyone. I don't know what else to say to convince you that you don't have to leave, that I don't want you to."

Haley sniffed violently, raising her hand to wipe at her face before dropping it back to her lap. Seconds later, she felt the rough pads of Nathan's fingers on her wrist. She saw that he was holding her discarded bracelet in his other hand, poised at her fingers of the hand he was holding

"I promise you, Haley, I will always be there for you. I will always protect you." Nathan's voice, filled with such determined conviction, caused Haley to raise her wet eyes to him.

"I will always protect you."

Haley swallowed down the tight restriction that had swollen her throat, unable to stop staring. Nathan was watching her as if the intensity of his stare could influence her mind, could force her to calm down and believe everything would be ok. She nodded, her eyes like a deer's in the headlights of his aquamarine beam, and felt the cool brush of plastic as Nathan slipped the Cracker Jack bracelet over her fingers and back onto her wrist where it belonged.


	22. Chapter 22

**This is a really short chapter and nothing really happens in it, I'm afraid. Well, it sets things up for the next few chapters - chapters I'm really excited about writing and hope that they will be worth the wait! Thank you as always for your continued patience and wonderful reviews x**

"You look really weird on TV."

Nathan, his arms laden with takeout containers, stepped into the lounge and towards the couch where Haley was sitting watching TV. "Actually, with my chiseled physique and movie star good looks, I look incredible on TV. At least that's what all the acting agents tell me when they're trying to sign me up to the latest blockbuster. I tell them I'm flattered, but I'm just a simple North Carolinian; my place is here and not in Hollywood."

Haley was laughing before Nathan had finished speaking. "Oh my God... that ego!"

Nathan's smile was wide and genuine - it seemed to be reflex these days at the sound of Haley's happiness, which seemed to increase as each week passed.

"What are you watching anyway?"

"That sports channel you always watch, there's a repeat of that documentary about you."

"Huh," Nathan made a vague, non-committal noise. He hadn't been able to watch the piece, entitled _Great Scott!_ that had come out to mark the one year anniversary since his career-ending accident. He didn't see the point, reliving his glory days, which was so far removed from the life he led now.

"Does it feel like a year?" Haley asked, reaching for one of the white cardboard boxes in Nathan's arms as he settled beside her. He placed the rest on the table in front of them and lifted Haley's legs up and onto his lap as he settled into the seat. His fingers kneaded the soft flesh around the arch of her foot. It was something he had started doing lately, mostly because of Haley's reaction - her sighs of relief and groans of pleasure weren't from Nathan's preferred method of physical interaction, but had become soundtracks to some of his dirtier private thoughts - and largely because he could. He knew that Haley and Lucas had an affectionate friendship, and if he was extremely careful, he was sure that he, too, would be able to hold her small frame and touch her soft skin without crossing the delicate thread of a line between friendship and romance.

It was bold, but it was something he was doing more frequently now, allowing aspects of his feelings for Haley to escape, masquerading as simple moments of friendly endearment. Since her freak out three weeks earlier, when her brother had turned up at the house to take her away, Nathan had never been more mindful of her feelings. He couldn't believe that, in his attempts to distance himself from his attraction to her, he'd made her feel like she wasn't welcome. The sight of her packing her things, feeling like he wanted her out of the house, had affected him strongly. His fear over revealing how deeply he felt for her had been diminished by the thought of not having her in his house every day.

Realizing that Haley was waiting expectantly for an answer, Nathan pretended that he had been considering her question. "Um... sometimes it does. Sometimes it feels like I've always been a sports agent, there's never been anything else... and other times it feels like it was just yesterday I was lying in that hospital bed wishing I was unconscious - or worse."

Haley's face twisted at his words, which made Nathan's heart copy the action. "I'm fine about it now, though," he hurriedly added, to soothe her features. "I have a good life. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Haley's tongue snaked out to delicately coax a stray noodle into her full mouth. She swallowed and laughed sarcastically. "Oh yeah, because you'd much rather be sitting on a couch eating Chinese with me than slam-dunking on a court somewhere surrounded by all those hot cheerleaders."

She was still laughing at the absurdity of her vision as Nathan nodded in agreement. "Yeah, sounds about right."

Nathan watched as Haley just shook her head in disbelief and kept eating, as he knew she would do. Another aspect that boosted his confidence in keeping his feelings hidden was Haley's determined inability to accept compliments or any comment in her favor.

Noticing that he had set his food down on top of a pile of letters, he absently reached for them as a larger-than-life previous version of himself charged down the court and executed a flawless one-legged fadeaway on his giant flat screen. The camera focused on his exuberant celebrations as he paraded back up the court with his teammates hanging off him, the screaming cheerleaders and the arrogant smirk that covered his face. He noticed a stack of papers beside his mail, with red markings beside a familiar name that made him do a double take, grateful for a distraction from the image on TV.

"Is that what I think it is?" He asked Haley, pulling a sheet of paper free from the pile.

"What? Oh yeah..." Haley nodded as she maneuvered her chopsticks around a piece of General Tso's chicken.

Nathan noticed the way she was holding her face, trying to fight the proud smile from taking over. "Quentin got a B+?" He pressed.

The smile eventually crept out. "Yeah," Haley admitted proudly. "It's just a practice exam, but he's been doing so well. I think he might actually get an A for his English final."

Nathan was impressed. He was well aware of the history of Quentin Fields, an exceptionally talented basketball player whose grades and behavior at school had earned him several suspensions. Nathan was sure he would have gotten expelled had he not been their team's only hope of success. Unfortunately, a consistent run of bad grades rendered him illegible to play the state championships this year, which did nothing to help the team or Quentin's attitude. Nathan suspected the principal was simultaneously relieved and dismayed that Quentin was still a Junior - while it gave the school another shot at victory next year, it was another year of putting up with Quentin Fields.

"Wow... this is incredible," Nathan marveled. "You're going to have one grateful high school basketball team for this."

"Well, at least someone's grateful... gratitude isn't really Q's strong point. Along with timekeeping... courtesy... respect..."

Nathan felt the blood in his veins heat up. "Has he been rude to you?"

"Oh no, no," Haley shook her head. "Well, yes, but it's nothing. Actually, he is improving. He was actually on time to our last session, and I'm pretty sure he only tried to look down my shirt once."

"Hales! You don't have to put up with that. When is he next at the center? I'm going to come down there and..."

"Oh, Nathan, don't!" Haley protested. "Honestly, it's fine. His attitude is getting better and so are his grades - that's the important thing, right? And it's not like I haven't had to deal with rude, arrogant, superstar high school basketball players before, right?"

For a moment, Nathan assumed Haley had been referring to her students in LA, until his brain registered the light, teasing tone in her voice and the way her eyes were on him. She was stifling a smile by the time he turned back to her in shock. "Are you talking about me?! I was never as bad as Quentin!"

Haley giggled. "Oh, come on, Nathan! You were pretty bad!"

He stared at her, knowledge of what he knew about Quentin mingling with images of his own high school years flashing past his eyes like a film reel. Haley was right - he had been a complete asshole to everyone at Tree Hill High. He had been exactly like Quentin. While he knew that boy had been buried in his past, changed by the kind-hearted beauty sitting beside him on the couch, he wondered, briefly, if his past was another reason to stop Haley from ever seeing him in a romantic light.

"Hey, Nathan..." Haley's voice was soft, calling him back to her as her velvet brown eyes looked at him gently. "That boy in you is long gone. And Quentin will grow out of it, too. In fact, he's really lucky to have you in his life. It's no secret that you're his hero. He couldn't have a better person to look up to."

She placed a warm hand on his shoulder, and Nathan swallowed down the worry that she had been reading his mind. All he could do was continue to show her how different he was, how much she had changed him.

"Hey, that's my name!" Haley proclaimed suddenly, as both of their eyes followed Nathan's hand as it reached towards his carton of food. Below the white box sat his mail, and a thick black envelope clearly visible. "We got a letter?"

He knew it was pathetic, but Nathan couldn't help but smile at the reference to them as a "we", and admire their names written side by side. _Haley James & Nathan Scott_. Haley sat up, removing her legs from his lap to curl them beneath her, Nathan passed her the envelope.

"Here, you open it."

She excitedly tore open the sealed flap. Nathan noted that she hadn't taken the same moment as he had, to see how nice their names looked written together, like a couple.

"It's an invitation to the re-opening of Tric, under new management," Haley announced, her eyes scanning the card. "Jake is hosting a party there to celebrate the end of Lucas' book tour." She picked up a small white business card that had fallen out with the invitation, a handwritten scrawl on the back. "Peyton has set up Red Bedroom Records in the space next to Tric and wants us to come down and check the new studio out."

"That's next weekend," Nathan commented, spotting the date. "You up for it? A trip to Tree Hill?"

Haley's bottom lip promptly went in between her teeth as she considered Nathan's question. "I guess so... I mean, it'll be different this time, right? And I don't know how long I've got before Drew stops being terrified of you and changes his mind about Mom and Dad's house..."

She said jokingly, but if Nathan was a lip biter, he'd be copying Haley's nervous gesture. The last three weeks had been a difficult time as Nathan and Drew sorted out the logistics of Nathan's hasty offer to buy the house. The amount they had agreed on was significantly more than any other buyer would dream of paying, which Nathan didn't have an issue with, but it was how to explain the money to the rest of the family, while keeping Nathan's secret, that was causing a problem. After a lot of back and forth deliberations, the two men had agreed on Nathan paying a deposit, which Drew would pretend was some savings account or insurance of his parents that he had just unearthed, that he could disseminate amongst his siblings. They had agreed on the remainder of the payment in two months' time, buying Nathan some time of his own to work out how to tell Haley.

"He won't bother you again, Hales," Nathan reassured her, taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her and relish the warmth that pressed through her thin cotton top. "And it will be different. You won't be alone. No one's forcing you to go if you don't want to."

"No," Haley shook her head. "I do, I do want to go. And it'd be great to see Luke again."

There was a brief silence as Nathan nodded and started eating, before Haley spoke up again. "Maybe... maybe you'd like Daytona to come with us? I mean, she might like to visit Tree Hill and see where you grew up? There's plenty of room at the house, you'd have loads of privacy... I mean, if you wanted to stay there that is. You can stay where you like, obviously… a hotel, wherever..."

Nathan took his time chewing and swallowing. While he couldn't bring himself to tell her about buying the house, he didn't like keeping secrets from her; this was one he'd be able to give up. Sort of.

"Uh, actually... I'm not seeing Daytona anymore..."

Haley's face revealed surprise before it softened to a gentle expression. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Nathan. What happened?"

"Yeah, uh... she realized that she actually has feelings for someone else... some guy she knows... uh, a friend of hers," Nathan scratched his neck, awkwardly.

"Well why on earth would she agree to go out with you if she had feelings for someone else?" That's so rude, stringing you along like that!"

"Oh, um... I don't think she knew how she felt until later on. You know what some girls are like, they always want what they can't have," Nathan forced a half laugh as Haley sat back with a frown.

"Well, I'm sorry, Nathan. I know you really liked her, and she seemed so nice... don't worry, I just know the perfect woman is out there somewhere, waiting for you."

She patted his arm reassuringly and Nathan gave her a small smile of agreement.

"Yeah, I'm sure she's closer than we think."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23! I'm really excited about this one, mainly because there's lots of little things in here that will pop up later. That probably doesn't mean a lot right now, but I feel like I do a better job at writing if I'm planning ahead and weaving things in. You might hate me at the end of this chapter, but I promise that I'll do my very best to get chapter 24 posted as soon as I can. I know we've seen a lot from Nathan lately, and the next chapter is Haley's.**

 **As always, thank you so much for your incredible support for this story. Your feedback and reviews are so motivating and have really helped me get out of a writing rut I was stuck in. Thank you!**

 **The lyrics in this chapter come from Sarah McLachlan's _Elsewhere._**

Haley looked like she was in heaven.

From the minute Peyton had pushed open the heavy sliding doors to her new recording studio, Nathan hadn't been able to take his eyes off Haley. She stood, open mouthed, in the middle if the room, gaping in awe at the instruments around them and at the records stuck to the exposed brick walls.

"The recording console is through there," Peyton nodded towards a smaller room that was visible through the soundproof glass at the front. "And this is where the magic happens."

Nathan looked around. The studio looked cool, certainly like a space Peyton would have set up, but he didn't know anything more specific than that. Meanwhile, Haley's face was filled with delight and amazement as she fired off question after question.

"You really know your stuff," Peyton raised her eyebrows appreciatively.

"Yeah, well... I spent enough time in recording studios. My ex, he was obsessed with getting an album together. I learnt a bit about the software and production and stuff. I actually really liked it... I thought it might be quite a cool thing to do for a job."

Haley looked embarrassed at her admission, but Peyton's smile was wide and happy. "It really is."

Haley's voice lowered to a reverent whisper as she stood beside the glossy black piano that sat to the side of the room. "You have a Steinway grand in here?"

"Sure do," Peyton beamed proudly. "Thanks to Jake."

"An estate sale. I don't think they knew what they had. Cost us a fortune, but it's a great investment. Totally worth it." Jake spoke up from his spot beside Nathan, nodding to him as if Nathan would understand what he was saying. "As long as we never have to move it ever again... or need to eat ever again."

"That's incredible. You are so lucky," Haley ghosted her fingers on the surface of the ivory keys. "My parents sold their old upright when I was in high school. I had to use that clunky old thing at Karen's if I ever wanted to play."

"Well, really we have Karen to thank. We would never have been able to afford this space and that piano if she weren't giving us such a great deal on the rent. And I love being able to work so close to my man."

Nathan watched as Peyton sidled up to Jake, giving him an easy kiss on the side of his jaw the way couples could to do each other. He couldn't ignore the pang of envy when Jake smiled proudly down at his wife.

"Go on," Peyton moved back towards Haley, gesturing towards the piano. "Let's hear you."

"Oh my gosh, can I?!"

"Yeah, why did you think we brought you here for?

Haley looked excited and nervous, like a child about to go on a ride at Disneyland. She glanced at Nathan, who smiled partly to show his support and largely because the look on her face was so endearing.

"Go for it," he encouraged. "Just... no Grease songs, ok, Sandy?"

Haley barely rolled her eyes as she settled herself on the bench. Nathan watched as her dark eyes took in every detail of the piano, like she wanted to remember this moment. Her fingers settled on the keys once more, and with a little pressure, the studio was filled with sound.

 _I love the time and in between_

 _The calm inside me_

 _In the space where I can breathe_

 _I believe_

 _There is a distance I have wandered_

 _To touch upon the years of_

 _Reaching out and reaching in_

 _Holding out holding in..._

Nathan stared at the small figure behind the piano. Haley's eyes were closed, her voice was low and melodic. She looked calm and still, like she was at peace and another world existed inside her head. Nathan was transfixed, oblivious to the way Jake and Peyton glanced him and then at each other, communicating in that secret way that people in love could.

It was obvious that music had played a huge role in healing Haley recently. Nathan had heard, through the closed door of her bedroom, the muted sound of strumming as she picked away at the guitar she had brought back with her from her last trip to Tree Hill. Each day, it looked as if Haley had found a tiny piece that had been missing from her. He had seen her thick notebook, filled with pages and scribbles that she had admitted, embarrassed, were attempts at writing songs and letting go of the pain that had clung to her for so long. She had changed so much from the small, spectre-like figure that had arrived in Charlotte nearly three months ago.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, staring, but his trance was broken when he realized that Haley had stopped playing and Peyton and Jake were applauding loudly.

"Haley, that was awesome. You're a natural!" Jake praised.

"Seriously, you are so talented. I've had musicians in here with recording contracts that would kill to have a voice like yours," Peyton added.

When Haley glanced up at Nathan, the pink tinge of embarrassment evident on her cheeks, Nathan realized that he couldn't speak. The lump in his throat felt like a tennis ball as he tried to swallow it down.

"Hales... that was ... wow. I had no idea you could sing like that."

"Yeah, well, drunken karaoke probably isn't the best example." Haley flushed darker, but Nathan could tell she was pleased.

"What do ya say, Foxy?" Peyton asked. "Reckon you could sing like that on stage tonight?"

"What?"

"At the re-opening of Tric. I have a great girl on my label, Mia Catalano, but she's come down with laryngitis. I need another amazing voice to fill her spot. You'd be perfect."

Haley's eyes were wide when they met with Nathan's. "I... I don't know if I could sing onstage in front of so many people. Sober, I mean."

"Do you not hear how good you are?" Nathan asked, softly. "Haley, your voice is beautiful. You deserve to be up on stage, to let people hear your talent. Isn't that what you wanted when you were in LA? Before your shitty ex took over everything? You said you loved performing."

Haley's bottom lip was grasped tightly between her teeth. "But that was such a long time ago..."

Nathan could see her face softening, relenting. Peyton saw it, too. "Come on, Haley. You would be doing me the biggest favor. We'll all be there to support you, and Lucas would love it."

Haley glanced back at Nathan, and he tried to fix his face into the most supportive expression possible. "I know you can do it, Hales. You deserve this."

She sucked in a deep breath and Nathan could see the doubts and fears whirling behind her eyes. Their eyes met once more before she let out in an audible huff. "Ok. Ok, I'll do it."

"Yes!" Jake cheered, holding his palm up for Haley to high five.

"This is going to be so awesome!" Peyton clapped enthusiastically. "Right, let's rehearse. We have ... 8 hours until show time. Do you have any original songs?"

Jake interrupted with short clap of his hands. "Alright, we'll leave you ladies to do your music thing. Nate, let me show you the bar; I've got some whiskies I need you to try, what do ya say?"

"Sounds good"

The men waved to Peyton and Haley and headed to the bar on the other side of the sliding door to the studio. It was only once Jake was leaning against the back counter and Nathan was seated with two fingers of rich amber liquid in front of him, did Jake speak up.

"So, how are things?"

"Good, man. Really good." Nathan nodded his approval as he took a sip of his drink. "I mean, she's feeling so much better, she has more energy and she honestly seems happy. I mean, some days she's a little quieter, but I think it's helped having Quinn around. And she seems to like being at the youth center. Man, you should see the work she's done with this kid, she's completely changed him, brought his grades up, it's incredible... I mean, you can see for yourself, she looks better than when you saw her in March, right?"

Jake just stared at his friend. "Wow, you have it bad."

Nathan shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I asked you, my friend Nate, 'how are things?' and you told me all about Haley."

Jake stood back, that unblinking, know-it-all look on his face that all parents seemed to have. Nathan stared back and lasted a full 30 seconds before he felt his resolve crumble. Slumping in his seat, he told Jake everything; from his dream on the night of the disastrous karaoke, his attempts at dating Daytona, trying to hide his feelings from Haley to starting to be more affectionate with her. By the time he had finished, Jake's eyebrows had almost disappeared into his hairline.

"Wow..."

"That's not all..." Nathan admitted, feeling helplessness seep through his veins. He downed the remainder of his whiskey. "I sort of bought her a house."

"You what?"

Nathan told him about Drew's arrival in Charlotte, what he had said to Haley and what had happened after.

Jake stared at Nathan, and after a beat, poured some more whiskey into the glass.

"You bought Haley a house."

"Yes."

"Her parents' old house?"

"Yeah."

"And she doesn't know this?"

"Nope," Nathan's lips parted with an audible pop on the 'p'.

"And her brother gave you two months to tell Haley the truth?"

"That's right."

"How long ago was that?"

"A month ago," Nathan let his head slide off his hand and thump against the heavy surface of the bar.

"Have you told her yet?"

Nathan didn't reply, but simply shook his head from side to side. His nose filled with the scent of stale beer and spilled spirits from the bar, evoking memories of where he had been a year ago, stuck in a wheelchair and drinking himself into unconsciousness. Nathan had smelled almost identical at the time.

"I tried to, today actually."

"And it didn't go well?" Jake guessed.

"You could say that."

* * *

 _"Well, here we are ... home sweet home," Haley half-laughed. She had seemed nervous and awkward on the trip to their hometown. She'd checked with Nathan over half a dozen times if he was sure he wanted to stay at her parents' house, as if she was worried she'd talked him into something he didn't want to do._

 _The James house sat on a long street just off the main road, the houses much older than the ones that Nathan and his Tree Hill High friends had grown up in. Most front yards were littered with bikes and brightly colored balls, the tops of backyard treehouses visible from the corners. Most had basketball hoops - although, Nathan couldn't help but notice, cheaper models than the professional hoops that Dan Scott had ensured Nathan had to train._

 _The house was clean and the sun was streaming in through the large kitchen window. Nathan couldn't help the tight feeling in his chest when he remembered how Haley had felt last time she was in the house. He was fairly certain Haley hadn't forgotten, either, and turned to see her surveying the space with wary eyes._

 _"Your house is great," Nathan enthused, glancing around. "Nice high ceilings, lots of light." He rapped his knuckles against the archway between the kitchen and hallway, the way his estate agent had done to his house in Charlotte, as if he knew what he was doing. "Solid structure."_

 _"You sound like you're looking to buy the place."_

 _Haley's tone was light and joking as she opened the fridge to place the milk they had bought on the way over in it, dropping the rest of the food on the kitchen counter. Nathan watched her unpack the bags, his thoughts whirring._

 _"I can, you know."_

 _"You can, what?"_

 _"Buy it, this house."_

 _Haley threw back her head and laughed, still giggling as she reopened the refrigerator to place some orange juice on the shelf. "Yeah, because you have such a need for an old 5 bedroom house in Tree Hill. Have you even been on this side of town, aside from seeing Lucas?"_

 _Truth be told, Nathan hadn't, but he kept going, seizing his opportunity while he could. "I'm serious, Hales. I mean, it would get Drew and Vivian off your back. And you won't need to rush back to Tree Hill before you're ready. You can take your time, stay with me in Charlotte and the house will be waiting for you. "_

 _She turned to face him, as if noticing his serious tone for the first time. "Nathan, you can't buy this house."_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"Um, that's insane, Nathan. In what kind of universe does someone just go out and buy a house for someone else?_

 _Nathan frowned. "In the universe where my friend really wants to keep a part of her parents with her and hang onto their family home but can't afford it right now."_

 _"Nathan..."_

 _"What? Come on, Hales, what's the problem? I'd buy the house and you can pay me back as like, rent, or something. I could be your landlord." Nathan tried hard to sound jovial, despite the look on Haley's face. "It's a win-win."_

 _Haley shook her head. "Come on, Nathan. What have I been telling you all this time?_

 _"I before E, except after C?"_

 _"I'm serious, Nathan. You don't want to get tangled up with what's going on with my family. I'm enough of a burden on you. The last thing you want is more to do with the James family. It's the last thing_ I _want. Just drop it, ok?"_

* * *

Jake was looking at Nathan as if he was the last person he wanted to be right now. He hesitated, running a hand through his brown hair. "Look, I'm no expert, but if there's one thing I've learnt it's just to tread carefully right now. Haley might be a little ... skittish."

Nathan frowned. "Haley's not a horse, Jake."

"I know that. Look, when Peyton and I first got together, I knew she liked me. I told her how I felt and it still took a while for us to make things work. She had lost too many people she cared about, she was so determined to find her way on her own and pushing everyone else away, and I had Jenny to think about..."

"Well, there you go. I don't have any children. And Haley's not pushing me away."

"Not as a friend, but..."

"Look, Jake, I appreciate the advice, but I've come this far, alright?

"I know, I just want things to work out for you, buddy. The last thing I'd hate to see is Haley running back to Tree Hill because she's not ready to let anyone in."

Nathan shook his head. "That's not going to happen. Haley's not ready to live in Tree Hill yet; there's nothing here for her. I'm just going to keep making the most of having her with me... she'll come round."

"So, what, you're going to brainwash her into being with you?"

"No, it's just... we have a connection. We're growing closer and it's only a matter of time before Haley's in a place where she sees that, too."

Jake didn't look convinced. "Listen, man, judging by the look on Peyton's face earlier, I'm pretty sure she's going to be questioning Haley about you, too. Why don't you just see what she says? At least give you an idea of where her head is at."

"I don't need everyone knowing my business, Jake. It's bad enough that my mom pokes around by asking Lucas."

"It won't go further than us... and anyway, if you want to keep your feelings on the down-low, it's probably best to stop doing that pathetic puppy face every time you're around Haley."

"I don't have a pathetic puppy face!"

"Yeah, you do! How do you think Peyton and I could tell that you have it bad for Haley?" Jake laughed. He dropped his mouth open and adopted a glazed-eye expression. In a high pitched voice, he spoke to an imaginary figure beside them. "Ohh, Haley, you're so talented, you're so amazing, Haley... mwuah mwuah mwuah..." Jake made loud kissing noises and Nathan had to laugh at his friend's absurdity.

"You're such a dick."

"Hey man, you know I think Haley is a great girl. I just want to see you happy. You deserve it."

"Thanks, Jake," Nathan sighed. His heart felt heavy with the nudging thought that Jake had a point, that maybe Haley would never see him as more than just a friend - that a declaration of his feelings might end up pushing her away. He shook his head to clear it, he couldn't risk thinking about the negatives.

He had to have hope.

* * *

The Nathan Scott that strolled up to the bar at Tric later that evening was completely different from the one that had left earlier that day. His grin was wide and smug; he was almost strutting as he walked.

"A beer and a cranberry soda, please."

Jake tossed the rag he was using to wipe down the bar into the sink and pulled two glasses out. "Listen, Nate..." he began, hesitantly. "Peyton spoke to Haley earlier and..."

"I don't need to hear it, Jake," Nathan cut him off. "Whatever she said, it doesn't matter."

Jake looked up with a frown. "But I think you should..."

Nathan held up a hand, "Seriously, it doesn't matter. I just want to enjoy tonight. After what happened earlier, nothing can spoil it."

"What happened earlier?"

Nathan's shit-eating grin spread wider, overtaking his face until his muscles hurt. He felt like his heart had been replaced by the sun, its warmth radiating to every pore of his body.

"I kissed Haley. And she kissed me back."


	24. Chapter 24

"Well, he looks happy."

"Hmm?" Haley was still at the piano, grazing her fingers lightly over the smooth ivory keys, oblivious to Peyton who was watching the retreating backs of Nathan and Jake as they left the studio and into the bar.

"Nathan. He looks really happy these days. I mean, _actually_ happy. Especially for a guy who, a year ago, was in a wheelchair and drinking until he passed out."

Haley frowned. It physically hurt her to think of how bad Nathan's life had been after his knee injury. She knew it was silly, because they hadn't even been friends at the time, but she wished she had been there for him. But then, she reminded herself, she had been in the middle of grieving over her father's death and caring for her mom. It wasn't as if she could have done anything even if she knew.

"Well that's good to hear. I thought he'd be a bit down after the Daytona thing, but..."

"What Daytona thing?"

Uncertainly, Haley told Peyton about Nathan's childhood friend, their date to the fundraising gala for Charlotte Youth Center and what Nathan had told her about their break up.

"Wait... Nathan is _dating_?!"

Peyton sounded so shocked that it tore Haley's attention away from her beautiful instrument in front of her. "Yes... why is that such a surprise?"

"But..." Peyton's green gaze swiveled from the wall, as if she could physically see Nathan and her husband through it at the bar, back to Haley. "I just thought..." she shook her head. "Seriously? He's dating?"

Haley shrugged in reply. "I just feel really bad for him. I mean it's not a secret that he's looking for a serious relationship and to settle down. Daytona seemed perfect for him; she's smart and nice and really pretty, they had been friends as kids and she's one of the only women out there that can look at him and see who he really is - not his fame and all the rubbish magazines print about him. It's such a shame that she messed him around the way she did."

"Hmm..." Peyton sounded amused. "If only there was another woman out there that was perfect for Nathan; someone he cared about and who cared about him for who he really is and not his 'fame and all the rubbish'"

Haley looked up. Peyton was staring at her pointedly, and she felt her gut twist uncomfortably.

"Don't be stupid, Peyton,"

"What? Come on, Haley - look at the two of you together. You're a team! Helping each other out in their time of need," the blonde-haired woman laughed jokingly, but it didn't dispel the tension Haley felt in her body. " _You're_ smart and nice and really pretty. You're the only one who's ever really gotten through to him and I've never seen Nathan so caring and concerned about anyone before. Is it so crazy to think that the two of you are exactly what the other needs?"

Haley was deflecting Peyton's words with a shake of her head before shebhad even finished talking. "Yeah, Peyton. It is crazy."

"What? _Why_? Look at you, Foxy. You're doing so well since I last saw you and that was only a couple of months ago! That girl couldn't face being back in Tree Hill, that girl needed to be drunk and on medication to get up on stage..." Peyton moved around the piano to sit beside Haley on the bench. "Haley, you've come so far and Nathan has helped you with that. There's nothing wrong with that."

Peyton put her arm around Haley's stiff shoulders and continued gently, "there's nothing wrong with moving forward and letting yourself be happy. Letting yourself love and be loved."

Haley felt her eyes sting with unshed tears. She was doing so well, managing to be in Tree Hill after her last disastrous visit, having the confidence to agree to perform on stage. She had been looking forward to seeing Peyton and Jake and Red Bedroom Records, seeing Lucas again - even Brooke. She was a stronger person now, someone who was able to push ahead through the swirl of negative emotions that still resided in her head. It wasn't much, and there was still so far to go, but for Haley it felt like everything.

Peyton's words, however, made her feel like the lonely, insecure, helpless woman she'd felt after she'd buried her mother. It reminded her of the one feeling she couldn't ever imagine shaking off - that she was broken and unlovable. That even if she got herself to a place where she was as happy as she was going to be, she would never be enough for someone else. She would never be whole. Who could ask someone to love that? To love _her_?

"Haley!" Peyton exclaimed, once Haley had admitted her feelings. "Oh, honey..." She was considerably taller than Haley, and she squeezed the shorter girl into her side for a hug, letting Haley's head fall onto her shoulder. "You _are_ enough - more than enough, for anyone. Look, I've been there, I've had all those feelings before. But I promise you, you're not broken, Haley. You're not. You're a little more battered and bruised, sure, but you'll heal. And _none_ of that means that you're unlovable. Far from it."

Haley let out a small sigh, Peyton's words brushing over her without sinking in. It was like everything with her depression - everyone found it so easy to give advice or tell her it would get better, but it was so hard to believe. Even lately, when she knew she had come so far since the start of the year. Not wanting to think about the deep, raw feelings inside of her, she decided to go for a different approach, to focus on the laughable notion Peyton had raised earlier.

"Anyway, regardless of how I feel about getting into a relationship, the whole idea is just crazy. Nathan and I are just friends. We wouldn't even be that if it weren't for Lucas, and for some stupid reason that Nathan thinks he owes me something just because of a few phone calls I made 8 years ago..."

"I don't think it's that, Haley," Peyton started, dubiously. "I mean, maybe at the start he felt like he owed you something, but I'm pretty sure he hasn't felt that way in a long time."

Haley shook her head again. "Peyton, Nathan deserves way better than me. _Anyone_ deserves better. I'm not the girl I used to be and I'm never going to be. And sure," Haley pushed on, despite Peyton's mouth opening to interrupt again, "I know I'm making progress and I know I'm happier. I'm so grateful for Nathan's help, no matter what his reasoning, but the best thing for everyone will be when I'm strong enough to move back here, when I can get a job and stand on my own two feet. Then Nathan can finally get his life and his house back and we can all get on with our lives. I've been enough of a burden."

When Haley finally found the courage to look up and meet Peyton's gaze, she couldn't read the expression there. Her green eyes were studying Haley closely, trying to read something that Haley couldn't see. Haley braced herself with a deep breath, unsure of what she was going to say next and too tired to fight further.

"Well, I'm sorry if that's how you really feel," Peyton said at last. "I'm really sorry, Haley. Someone like you deserves to see how special you are to someone. And you're not a burden on Nathan. Far from it. I hope you see that one day. Soon."

Haley exhaled in relief and offered the other woman a smile that she didn't feel. "Thanks, Peyton."

With a sly smile, Peyton leaned over conspiratorially. "Ok, but just between you and me ... you've _really_ never thought about going there with Nathan? I mean, the two of you alone in that big house? He's all alone in that big bed of his ... shirtless?"

Haley giggled, able to appreciate the teasing tone in the other woman's voice, her attempt to lighten the mood and joke. "Honestly? I've never thought about it... but when he's working out downstairs, shirtless _and_ sweaty? That's a different story."

The two girls laughed together. Haley smiled.

"Right, let's get back to it. You wanted to hear some original songs? There's this one that I've been working on..."

* * *

"Oh my gosh, Nathan, it was _amazing_! It was like all this sound was coming out of me, I felt like a different person. I can't believe I'm actually going to perform tonight. This is crazy!"

Haley and Nathan were on their way back to the house to eat before heading to the local bookstore where Lucas would be holding his final book signing. Haley felt a lightness in her heart, and she raised her head skyward to feel the warm sun on the skin. She had forgotten how cathartic it was, to let her fingers run themselves over the glossy ivory and sing from the very depths of her soul. At first, Haley had been a bit embarrassed over Peyton's praise, but it had bolstered her confidence as she begun to believe her friend, to the point where she was actually starting to feel excited about the night ahead.

"Well, I can't believe you can actually sing," Nathan teased, strolling behind Haley. "Let's just keep you away from the alcohol, ok, Sandy? Because I don't think drunken karaoke is a good use of your talents."

Haley turned to face him, a smile on her face. He was smiling, too, and Haley thought about Peyton's comment about Nathan being happy. He certainly did seem happy - more relaxed, a genuine smile quicker to come to his face than it used to, even since Haley had been living with him. She had noticed a change in him after the disastrous week after her birthday, where he had been cold and distant. It felt like they had grown closer and he had certainly become more affectionate. Haley was surprised how easily they moved around each other under the same roof, how comfortable she was with him and how their friendship, to her, seemed as close as the one she had with Lucas. It was a different kind of close though, she had noticed. Lucas had always been like her big brother, but that feeling wasn't there with Nathan. She hadn't given it a lot of thought, putting it down to the fact that they had only begun to develop a friendship over the last two and a half months since they had become unexpected roommates.

However, while she had noticed he seemed less worried about her, no longer watching her with concern in his eyes and the helpless look on his face, she had picked up on something she hadn't been able to put her finger on; Nathan always seemed to carry a stress on his shoulders, like there was something holding him back from being truly happy, or something he was hiding. She wondered if it was something he'd always have, growing up in a family like his, or from after his accident, or even whether his breakup from Daytona was still on his mind. She made a mental note to ask Lucas about it when she saw him later.

She opened her mouth to speak, but instead, completely different voices filled the air.

"Oh man, check it out! It's Nathan Scott!"

"Yo, Scott! 23! Hey!"

"Man, I can't believe it's Scott! This is so cool!"

Within seconds, Nathan was surrounded by a dozen young boys who looked about 10 years old. All of them were wearing basketball gear - two of them were wearing replicas of Nathan's Charlotte Bobcats jersey - and they were all chatting excitedly over each other. Haley noticed they were beside a concrete slab on the edge of a small park close to her parent's house. The park had long served as a tiny neighborhood playground, but the addition of a single basketball hoop in the concrete was something Haley hadn't seen before.

"Man, what was it like dunking on LeBron?"

"Can you please sign my ball?"

The excited voices continued and Nathan smiled obligingly. A sharpie materialized from somewhere and he started scribbling, answering the questions from the huddle of fans. As Haley watched with a smile on her face, she noticed that it didn't seem to matter that Nathan hadn't been playing for a year, or would never play in the NBA again - the kids were still starstruck and hero-worshipped him regardless.

Nathan glanced up at her, an embarassed but happy smile on his face. "I'll catch you up in a minute, ok?"

Haley nodded. "Sure, I'll be at the house."

Sensing they had his undivided attention, the excited group grew closer around the former NBA superstar and Haley walked on. She was less than a block away anyway, and was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice she'd reached her parents' house until she spotted the familiar figure sitting on the porch steps.

"Chris? What are you doing here?"

Chris Keller unfurled his long legs and jumped to his feet. She stared at him, unable to remember the last time she'd seen her ex-boyfriend in person. She remembered hastily throwing clothes into a bag in their small, shared apartment in LA, telling him that her mom was getting worse and she needed to be in Tree Hill to care for her. That was over six months ago - he had been too "busy" to come to the funeral.

"Haley," Chris breathed out. "Man it's so good to see you."

"What do you want, Chris?" She repeated, moving past him and towards the front door. Realizing that she didn't want him inside the house, but that she couldn't not hear what he had to say, she turned back, crossing her arms defensively across her chest.

"Haley," he said again, in the same breathless and - Haley thought - desperate way. "I miss you, babe. I made a mistake. I want us to get back together."

"What?"

"I mean it, I need you, Haley."

Haley was stunned. A disbelieving gasp of breath huffed out of her chest as she stared at the man in front of her. Her head felt so full, her thoughts going at such a rapid pace that she couldn't pick one to focus on.

"I know that I said you were selfish, and you didn't have time for me and I'm so sorry, babe. We can make it work this time, I promise."

Chris looked at her pleadingly and she frowned. It occurred to her that she had never once wished for this scenario. In the long, lonely days and months that followed their break up, in the darkest moments of her depression where she craved another human to love and comfort her, Chris had never been the person she yearned for. She had been humiliated and stung by his selfishness, and disappointed in herself for wasting so much time on a relationship that she could clearly see was one-sided, but she had never, ever wanted to get back together with him.

Haley realized that Chris must have mistaken her hesitation for actual consideration, because he stepped forward earnestly, reaching out to her.

"Things have picked up, I play a show at least every week now and there's these twins... I thought they would be super hot and they are but, babe, they're so bad at selling the t-shirts! And I've had these guitar picks designed and they're meant to get people to buy them but they always forget. They don't care about selling the gear, they don't understand that makes most of the money! Not like you, Hales. You got it. You got me."

At last, everything in Haley's head bubbled out of her mouth in genuine laughter. She threw her head back as tears leaked out of her eyes.

"Oh Chris," she gasped out. "You are unbelievable!"

Her ex boyfriend stood in front of her, a look of confusion on his face as he tried to work out if Haley's reaction was in his favor. Haley wanted to laugh harder, but fought the urge not to hurt his feelings further. Not that he didn't deserve it, she thought, but she wasn't that kind of person to do something like that deliberately.

"Chris," she began, as gently as she could. "You don't want us to get back together. You don't even want a girlfriend - you want a... a manager or an agent or someone. Someone who will drop everything for you, who will focus and help you with your career, who doesn't want anything from you. That's not a girlfriend."

"But... but..." Chris' blue eyes glanced around wildly as realization hit. "I do. I mean ... what about the sex?"

This time, Haley actually laughed out loud. " _What_ sex, Chris? Do you remember the last time we had sex? Because I don't!"

It was true. Her father had died well over a year ago and she knew they hadn't slept together after that. Before that, she certainly hadn't been the most demanding of sexual partners at the best of time, and there were plenty of nights where Chris was tired from a show or demoralized from his lack of success that he just fell asleep as soon as his head had hit his pillow.

"You don't want to get back together with me, Chris..."

"I do, Hales, I do!" He was practically begging, and Haley had to close her eyes. "I know we can make it work this time, babe. I've changed..."

She opened her eyes again, and spotted Nathan's tall figure standing behind them, an amused look on his face. She didn't know how long he had been standing there, but the sight of him watching Chris' desperate act made her want to laugh harder. Their eyes met and Haley watched as a wicked grin overtook one side of his face. Confused at the look, she raised her eyebrows in a silent question, and Nathan bounced up the steps towards her in reply.

"Hey baby, there you are! I missed you!"

"What? I..."

Her words were swallowed by Nathan's embrace as he swallowed her in a hug, putting his body in between her and Chris. Did he just call her _baby_?

His shoulder hid her face, and his breath tickled her ear as he whispered, "Trust me, ok? Just go with this."

She frowned, but shrugged and nodded against the warm muscle of Nathan's chest, before he pulled back, smirking. Turning to Chris, he wrapped an arm protectively around Haley's waist. She could see the uncertainty on Chris' face, the frown and darting eyes.

"Hi, I'm Nathan Scott. Haley's boyfriend."

Haley's jaw nearly dropped as low as Chris' did. What was Nathan doing?

"What? Hales?" Chris glanced at her for clarification and Haley fought hard to keep a straight face. Nathan's hand, which was wrapped around her waist, squeezed her slightly as if to remind her to play along. She sighed, theatrically.

"I tried to tell you, Chris, but..."

"You're dating him? Nathan Scott? The basketball player?"

Haley felt borderline hysterical. Her body was pressed against Nathan's side and she felt that if it hadn't been, she wouldn't have been able to stay upright. The two men couldn't be more different - aside from the fact that Chris' face was falling like a puppy not being allowed to go for a walk and Nathan's grin was like a Cheshire cat's, Nathan was broad and strong, defined muscles visible beneath the blue and white checked shirt he was wearing, whereas Chris' faded red t-shirt hung off his skinny frame. Chris was the same height as the former basketballer, but he looked like an underfed teenager. Haley had never felt safe and protected beside her ex boyfriend before, the way she felt when Nathan was close by.

"Oh, you're the ex?" Nathan asked, nonchalantly, the cockiness evident in his voice. "Oh hey, man, I have to thank you... I've been crushing on Haley since high school, I never thought I could stand a chance. Thank you for being such an asshole, because now I finally get the chance to treat her the way she deserves."

Haley wanted to giggle. It was such an obvious display of macho competition that she was amazed at how Chris could believe it. It was only when she looked up at Nathan did her lungs struggle to inflate. The look in his eyes was so tender, so believable that she couldn't look away. Only Chris could see the way the two roommates stood, staring searchingly at each other. Nathan smiled reassuringly at her before turning back to Chris.

"So what are you doing here anyway?"

It was the way he said it that made Haley realize that Nathan had heard most of what Chris had to say.

"I, uh... I..."

"Are you here to watch Haley perform tonight?"

"What?" Chris frowned.

"Yeah," Nathan continued, proudly, "Haley's playing at the re-opening of Tric tonight. Performing original songs, actually. She's just spent all morning in the recording studio with Red Bedroom Records."

Haley thought that it was an example of his own arrogance that Chris couldn't see through Nathan's charade. He was really milking it, it felt so over the top that she couldn't believe Chris wasn't suspicious. Instead, he looked crushed as Nathan hit his weak spot – which had never been her, but his career.

"Red Bedroom... I heard they had moved here. You've got a record deal? You've signed with them?"

It took Haley a moment to get her tongue working in order to rectify the lie Nathan had said. "I … um, well, nothing has been made official yet…" she stammered nervously.

"You don't have what it takes to perform."

"Excuse me?"

Chris' voice was so mild and matter of fact, Haley wasn't sure that he had even offended her at first. "Your songs have never been good enough, Haley. You don't have what it takes," he repeated. "Your life, it's been too sheltered, you're too _kind_. You don't know how to sing about something real, to make people feel something right to their soul."

Haley's jaw had dropped open, but Chris hadn't finished.

"I've heard your stuff before, remember? Why do you think you never made it past a few gigs in LA? Your songs are weak, Haley, generic. Red Bedroom are wasting their time."

Ordinarily, Haley knew she'd be stunned at such harsh words, but today she felt different. Chris had always believed that Haley was talented, but lacked the extraordinary ability to set her apart from the other millions of artists that dreamed of a record contract and a tour. Even though Haley had never been able to tell him that she – and every label in the country – felt the same about him, it wasn't something that she hadn't heard before from the man who supposedly loved her, who she'd spent two years of her life with.

But now, she knew it was different. His words didn't matter. _Chris_ didn't matter. She no longer entertained the idea of being a professional musician - her heart would always be in teaching – but her opportunity that night was enough to boost her confidence and live out her dreams. She trusted Peyton and Jake, and Nathan, of course. She loved the songs she had written, born from her weakest, blackest moments. She knew how impressed Peyton had been and how proud she was that she had crafted the beautiful music from the hardest time of her life. Chris had no control over her.

"Well, you might think that now, Chris, but you don't know me. Nothing since Dad died has sheltered me, at all. Peyton Jagielski at Red Bedroom loves my voice, the songs I've written. Why don't you come to Tric tonight and see for yourself?"

High on the elation from standing up for herself, the rare blanket of confidence that she found, she grinned up at Nathan. He was looking down at her, his eyes filled with pride and something else that Haley couldn't identify. He smirked at her, then turned to her ex-boyfriend.

"My girl's going to be amazing, you don't want to miss it."

Haley wasn't sure if it was how tightly Nathan had pressed her into his side, how strong he felt or how good he smelt, but her heart actually fluttered at his words. He sounded so convincing. She looked at up him, and suddenly, his face felt so close to hers. She could see the texture of his skin, where the dusting of stubble had already started to protrude, and a small, faint scar by his jawline.

It was all part of the act, the game Nathan was playing to give Chris what he thought he deserved after treating Haley so badly, but Haley honestly couldn't say it was for that reason her lips were drawing closer to Nathan's. It started with their mouths pressing together lightly, and the sensation caused Haley to gasp. Taking advantage of the space Haley had created to draw in air, Nathan sandwiched her bottom lip in between both of his and sucked gently.

Haley realized that Nathan must have felt how unsteady she was, when he brought his hand up to cup her face, angling her head just right. It was all so sweet and tender, as if he felt like she might break. It wasn't at all unpleasant, but there was something inside Haley now that made her powerful; she wanted to show she was stronger than she looked, that she could give back.

She wanted more.

She rose on her tip toes and threw her arms around Nathan's neck, kissing him ferociously. Although she couldn't see the way his eyebrows raised, she could sense his surprise at her actions. His lips were surprisingly soft as he kissed her with the same eagerness that she had thrown at him, his strong hands on her waist to hold her steady. Just as the thought entered her mind that she wanted to know what Nathan's lips tasted like, it was the loud scratching sound of a throat clearing that kept her tongue inside her mouth and her body reluctantly moved away from Nathan's.

Chris was still standing there, uncomfortably. Haley kept her eyes to the ground – she knew by the way her heart was thumping and her head was swimming that he'd take one look at her and know that wasn't the first time she had kissed her supposed new boyfriend before.

"Ok, well…" Chris drawled, awkwardly. "I might see you tonight, then."

She hadn't looked, but she could hear from his voice that Nathan's grin hadn't left his face.

"See you tonight."

There was a moment of silence before Nathan spoke up. "He's gone, Hales."

The hysteria from before had returned tenfold and Haley found herself fanning away tears, still unable to meet even Nathan's eyes. She couldn't believe what had just happened. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe … what _was_ that?"

Nathan was laughing, too. "I don't know, but hell, Hales, who knew you had it in you? Where did you learn to kiss like _that_?! Actually, don't tell me, but _wow_!"

She knew he was teasing her, he must have been. She was just glad that he didn't seem upset that she had practically thrown herself at him. He was the one who had started the fake relationship to begin with, but had she been the one to take it too far?

"I can't believe you said that we were together!"

"I can't believe that you told him you couldn't remember the last time you had sex with him! That's cold, Hales!"

Haley dropped down onto the front step and buried her face in her hands. She could feel the heat from her cheeks, everything that had happened over the last few minutes had made her giddy.

"Oh my gosh, you realize now that if he turns up at Tric tonight, we're going to have to pretend we're a couple, right? In front of everyone?"

Nathan laughed, tucking his tongue inside his cheek in a gesture that Haley had begun to recognize as amusement and confidence. She noticed that he didn't seem at all phased about their current situation. In fact, he hadn't stopped looking smug since Chris had left.

"Well," he grinned, "looks like Tric are going to get a hell of a show tonight."

 **Ok, time for apologies - I'm sorry you had to wait after that cliffhanger, but it took me such a long time to get Haley and Peyton's conversation right! It's really important to me to get across how Haley is feeling now, that sense of improvement but something always holding her back. I've talked to a lot of people, and I've felt that way myself, and feeling worthy and complete enough for someone, and having the strength and energy to give back to a relationship is pretty hard and I don't believe Haley is there yet. But I promise, things are going to change soon. Also, remember she's not discarding the idea of Nathan because it's Nathan. She actually doesn't seem too put off by him, does she? She's just not thinking about anyone right now.**

 **As for the kiss, well I hope you're not too disappointed in me. I promise that when the REAL kiss happens, it'll be big and amazing and I won't deprive you wonderful readers from anything. I just wanted to let Nathan enjoy himself and have a little fun, and show how Haley's moving forward (with being able to perform and how she feels about Chris). I hope you can enjoy it too!**

 **Thanks, as always, for your reviews. I LOVE hearing from you! Drop me a line and tell me what you think.**


	25. Chapter 25

**To anyone who has been waiting patiently for this chapter, I'm so sorry. It was painfully hard to write and the characters refused to do what I wanted them to! The good news is, because it went on for longer than I had planned, there'll be another chapter of Naley goodness after this. I hope you enjoy all the makeout scenes!**

 **The song that Haley sings in this chapter is _Supermarket Flowers_ by Ed Sheeran, which inspired chapter 15 of this story. If you haven't heard it before, I highly recommend checking it out while reading this; it's a beautiful song and I can just imagine how Haley would perform this.**

 **I've borrowed some lines from the show, mainly from 2x07, and as always, all credit goes to Mark for them.**

The small club was heaving with bodies, and a snaking line of people down the stairs and around the building proved that Tric was the place to be tonight. Tree Hill didn't have a lot of places like it, and Karen Roe had been thrilled to pass the management over to Jake to keep the business a successful one. Haley stood, stunned, as she took in her surroundings, knowing that Jake had certainly done a good job to draw a crowd on the re-opening night.

"I can't believe so many people are here!" she yelled over the noise of all the people and the thumping music playing on the loud speakers.

Peyton, who had been the one to help Karen open Tric back in high school, had come over with a clipboard and headset. "Karen said it's always pretty busy, especially with summer coming, but looks like you'll be singing to a full capacity tonight, foxy." She grinned proudly at the smaller woman, who was now twisting her hands nervously. "You're going to kill it!"

Haley looked up at Nathan, nervously, and he returned it with a reassuring smile. "You'll be great, Hales. You know you can do it."

Nathan's hand, which had been entwined with Haley's since they first arrived, squeezed tightly. Haley took a shaky breath as she felt her nerves and anxiety ease from the pressure of his hand.

"Better rest that voice until show time. You want a drink?"

Haley nodded, "Yes, please. A cranberry soda?"

"Sure."

Nathan had only been gone a few seconds before Brooke was pouncing on Haley, her raspy voice loud in her ear. "Ok, Tutor Girl, you _have_ to tell me what's up!"

"What do you mean?"

"Between you and _Nathan_! Don't play dumb with me, missy, I've been watching you since we picked you up. You two are adorable!"

Brooke's squealing had attracted Lucas' attention, and he turned towards his best friend with raised eyebrows. "There's something up with you and Nathan?"

"Oh my God, Broody, have you not seem them tonight?The cute little glances, the smiles, the _hand holding_?"

Haley laughed, embarrassed at Lucas' shocked stare. "Honestly, there's nothing going on! It's ... it's a long story but he's pretending to be my boyfriend for the night."

Lucas raised his eyebrow and gave Haley a look. Their friendship had transcended the need for verbal language and Haley knew she had to explain. "Chris turned up at my parents place this afternoon, he was being such a jerk and Nathan pretended he was my boyfriend to get him to stop hassling me."

"Chris was hassling you?" Lucas frowned.

"No, well not really... he wanted to get back together, but he didn't mean it. And there's no way I'd go back to him," Haley continued in a rush, in case Lucas, or anyone else, thought she might. "Nathan was just coming to my rescue, giving me an excuse. You know, the way you did Freshman year to stop other guys from harassing me?" She looked pointedly at the blonde haired man beside her.

Peyton frowned, "Wait, so why are you guys still pretending?"

"Well, Chris was saying stuff about my music, like I'm not good enough to perform and my song writing is hopeless, not moving enough, stuff like that... Nathan told him to come tonight and see how good I am," Haley blushed at the implied compliment. "He was just trying to wind Chris up."

"What an asshole!" Peyton exclaimed.

"Aw, he's just trying to look out for Tutor Girl, P. Sawyer," Brooke interjected. "Her ex can't get her back if he thinks she's already taken. I think it's sweet!"

"No, I mean this Chris guy! How dare he insult you. Haley, your songs are incredible. You write from the heart. You're going to move mountains tonight."

Haley smiled gratefully at Peyton. Beside her, Luke's brows were furrowed in thought, creating a squinted look that he was known for. "Man, you and Nathan pretending you're a couple? That's just weird."

Peyton showed them to a booth on the side that was slightly quieter, and as everyone shuffled into a seat, Lucas pulled Haley aside. "Are you sure you're ok, Hales? With Chris?"

Once again, the look told Haley that Lucas wanted to know more. She realized that it wouldn't have been out of her usual character to have forgiven Chris and taken him back, and her best friend knew how forgiving she typically was."Honestly, Luke, I am. I've known for a long time that Chris and I weren't right for each other and it was so good standing up for myself today. I can't believe I spent so long with someone who would say something like that about my music. He knows how much it means to me."

Lucas' stare searched hers before he gave her a satisfied grin. "I'm proud of you, Hales. All of it. Standing up for Chris, performing tonight... You should be proud of yourself, too. You've come a long way."

Haley's reply grin was bashful. "Thanks, Luke. I couldn't have done it without Nathan's help, though."

"Yeah ... you and Nathan pretending to be a couple tonight," Lucas frowned. "That's going to be strange seeing that."

"Well, you better get used to it," Nathan's voice spoke up as he materialized beside Haley with a beer and her requested drink in hand. "Look who just walked in."

The three heads swiveled towards the door, where Chris' lanky frame was entering. Haley didn't have the chance to blink before Nathan's face descended towards her as he buried his nose in her curly dark blonde hair, planting kisses on the skin exposed where her jaw and neck met her ear. His free hand snaked around her waist to pull her closer as his beer-dampened lips gently followed her jawline and then up to her mouth. Haley felt goosebumps break over her skin and her body shook. It was far from cold in the busy club and it certainly wasn't repulsion that her body was reacting to. One thing was clear to her - Nathan Scott was one hell of a seducer. Although she knew that not everything printed in the tabloids about the famous basketball player was true, his reputation with women had certainly grown since she knew him at high school - and even back in high school, Haley had read a fair bit about him on the bathroom stalls. The way he was making her body react when they weren't even a real couple was astounding; Haley's brain couldn't even let her think what it must be like to be someone he was physically attracted to and actually dating.

The kiss he had captured her lips in was surprisingly short and tender before he pulled away, but its simplicity had a hoard of butterflies in her stomach fluttering and, like their earlier kiss, Haley craved more. She hadn't been lying when she'd told Chris she couldn't remember the last time they'd made love; sex simply hadn't been anywhere on Haley's mind for a long time and she had been perfectly fine with that. She had slept with two guys in her entire life - a long-term boyfriend in college with whom she'd lost her virginity to, and Chris - and she'd never experienced the earth-shattering, toe-curling feelings that other girls boasted about. She simply assumed she wasn't someone with a huge sexual appetite. But Nathan's kisses made her feel a stirring in her stomach and a twinging between her legs that she had never felt to that degree before.

 _If that's how he kisses, imagine what he's like in bed._

The unbidden thought flew into Haley's mind, and like she had earlier in the day, a feeling of hysteria came over her. It was like all of her emotions were too much to process and she just wanted to giggle. Where on earth had that thought come from?

Haley could see the smug, satisfied grin on his face and she wasn't sure if it was because Chris had seen them or her own reaction to the little show they were putting on. When she dared to look up, Lucas had a puzzled expression on his face.

"Ok, that was gross. Really gross... yet, not as strange as I thought it would be."

Nathan's laugh drowned out Haley's embarrassed chuckle. "See, Hales? Even Lucas thinks make a good couple."

Haley was still pressed tightly against Nathan's body, and she buried her flaming face into the dark grey dress shirt he was wearing to try and calm her speeding heart and hide her acute embarrassment. She didn't even hear Lucas' response, because her hiding wasn't having the intended effect; the smell of Nathan's fresh, masculine cologne and the warmth and hardness she could feel against her face was causing her breath to shallow and her blush to ripen. His whole body radiated the smirk he wore on his face, and she only looked up when she heard him say, "Keller, so glad you could make it."

Chris' eyes watched them warily, and Haley sensed that Nathan's affectionate performance was affecting him more than he let on. He may not have had the most noble of reasons for reconciling when he turned up at her parents' house, but it couldn't be that easy seeing someone who had been an important part of your life for two years making out with someone else.

"I didn't want to come because I didn't want to see you embarrass yourself, but frankly, if you're not going to listen to the honest truth, then I deserve to be here to say 'I told you so.'"

Haley rolled her eyes, any sense of sympathy dissipating immediately, but before she could reply, Peyton appeared again with Brooke by her side.

"Come on, Haley, it's time to get you backstage."

"Since your last public performance in Clothes over Bros didn't quite have the sort of publicity I was looking for, we're going to try again." Brooke held up two garment bags. "Strapless or backless?"

It was Chris who answered. "Strapless. Your tits have always been your best feature."

Nathan had launched himself at the skinny musician before Haley had the chance to process Chris' response, and it took both her and Lucas to pull him away before he could land a punch.

Chris stepped back and held up his hands. "Whoah dude, I was just being honest. If you want to keep the crowd's interest tonight, you have to show off your best assets - and your songwriting ain't one of them. Just listen to Chris Keller."

"You're going to listen to my fist hit your face if you don't shut up," Nathan barked.

"Alright, Nate, calm down." Lucas hissed, keeping his hand on Nathan's arm until he could be sure Nathan wasn't about to throw a punch. Haley looked at her roommate, she hadn't seen anger in him like this since she caught one of his early NBA games on TV.

"Come on, Haley, let's go."

She turned to follow Brooke and Peyton backstage, until she felt a hand on her arm. Nathan was looking at her, his eyes blazing blue like the hottest part of a flame. He pulled her towards him until she was against his chest and speared the hand not restricted by his brother into her dark blonde hair.

Their kiss this time was urgent and passionate, and before Haley closed her eyes, she saw the way Nathan's eyebrows had drawn together, creating deep creases in his forehead as he kissed her like it was with the last breath he'd ever take. He sucked her lips in between his own, making sure to pay equal attention to both her top and bottom lip.

The kiss may have been for her ex-boyfriend's benefit, but Haley forgot about Chris as Nathan held her stare when they pulled away, his gaze strong and sincere. "Good luck, Hales. You're going to be amazing, ok?"

Haley's return smile was as unsteady as her feet, and all she could do was nod in reply. Half of Nathan's mouth curved up as he gave her a wink, before turning back to Chris. "Stick around, Keller. That was just the pre-show entertainment."

Peyton caught Haley's eye as the three women headed towards the backstage area, and raised her eyebrows. "For someone who feels unlovable, that was some kiss."

"Yeah, Tutor Girl. And did you see how totally caveman he went on your ex? Wow," Brooke chimed in.

Haley's face, which hadn't fully recovered from Nathan's kiss, flamed further. "It's just pretend. He's just trying to help and get to Chris."

"Hmm..." Peyton sounded unconvinced. "All I know is that I actually went out with the guy and he _never_ kissed me like that."

Haley was silent as Peyton shut the door behind them and Brooke started to hang up dresses and unpack makeup from the oversized bag she was carrying. Truthfully, the way her body was reacting to Nathan's act was rattling her, but she didn't have time to think about it now. She had another performance to focus on.

* * *

It hadn't taken long before Brooke had curled Haley's long hair, applied a light dusting of makeup and zipped her into an intricately beaded silver and black strapless dress ("He may be a jerk who refers to himself in the third person, but your ex is right, Tutor Girl, you do have a great rack. You should show it off a little!"). Haley was now waiting nervously at the side of the stage as Peyton went out to welcome the crowd to Tric.

"It wouldn't be Tric without some great live music, and tonight we have a special treat for ya'll. Ladies and gentleman, it's my honor to introduce to you Tree Hill's own Haley James!"

The applause was thunderous in Haley's ears as she stepped on stage and made her way to the electric keyboard Peyton had set up earlier in the day. The sea of bodies in the club was so deep that faces blurred into one, but glancing up, Haley could make out the tall heads of Nathan and Lucas standing beside where Jake was serving at the bar. Taking a deep breath, she positioned her fingers on the keys in front of her and closed her eyes.

"Don't think. Just play."

 _I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill_  
 _I threw the day old tea from the cup_  
 _Packed up the photo album Matthew had made_  
 _Memories of a life that's been loved_  
 _Took the get well soon cards and stuffed animals_  
 _Poured the old ginger beer down the sink_  
 _Dad always told me, "don't you cry when you're down"_  
 _But Mum, there's a tear every time that I blink_

 _Oh I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up, but I know_  
 _A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved_

 _So I'll sing Hallelujah_  
 _You were an angel in the shape of my mum_  
 _When I fell down you'd be there holding me up_  
 _Spread your wings as you go_  
 _And when God takes you back he'll say Hallelujah_  
 _You're home_

* * *

"You did a really good thing for her, Nate."

His brother's voice jolted Nathan from the trance he'd been in, focused on the small, lone figure onstage and her angelic voice. The audience had fallen silent, in a simliar hypnotic state as he had been in as Haley's heartfelt, emotional words floated around them

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "She did it all by herself."

Lucas watched him silently for a moment before he spoke again. "You've changed. She's changed you."

"What are you talking about? You've known that since our first day of college."

"No, I mean since then. Since I saw you last, you're different."

Nathan didn't reply and kept his gaze ahead of him.

"You know, there are worse things in life than my best friend and my brother being together."

Nathan snapped his head towards his brother at those words. "Luke..."

"I see how you are with her, Nate. I know you've always cared about her."

Nathan shook his head again, at a loss for words. In between trying to deny the feelings that he had refused to acknowledge and then letting them out in a way that enabled him to face Haley each day without repercussion, he hadn't thought about how his brother would react. Lucas had always been overprotective with Haley. Even in college, by the time the two half-brothers had become friends, Nathan had always felt that their brotherly relationship was second to Haley's best-friendship.

"I mean, not that I want to see the two of you making out all the time, even if it is just pretending, but you're good for her, Nate... I hope..." Lucas paused, thoughtfully. "I hope she feels the same way. Someday."

Nathan's brain clouded over. He didn't need Lucas, or even Jake, to tell him that Haley wasn't on the same page as he was in regards to their blooming friendship. It wasn't even because of Haley's depression; Nathan knew he had never been good enough for Haley James. He still wasn't.

Still, it hadn't stopped him from taking advantage of the charade he had started, pretending to be Haley's boyfriend in front of the skinny, pathetic musician who wanted her back. Nathan couldn't blame Chris - he couldn't believe anyone could be such a fool as to let Haley go, but he could certainly understand how hard it would be to be without her. Now that he had actually held Haley and kissed her, let his lips slide over hers, he never wanted it to end. Regardless of how things turned out at the end of the night when the act inevitably had to end, Nathan wanted to forget everything and pretend until then that he was the adoring and supportive lucky bastard that got to be Haley's boyfriend. That he was good enough. Just for one night.

He looked at his brother and gave him a small, appreciative nod. Letting out a breath he didn't even realize he had been holding, he turned back to Haley onstage.

 _I hope that I see the world as you did cause I know_  
 _A life with love is a life that's been lived_

 _So I'll sing Hallelujah_  
 _You were an angel in the shape of my mum_  
 _When I fell down you'd be there holding me up_  
 _Spread your wings as you go_  
 _When God takes you back he'll say Hallelujah_  
 _You're home_

 _Hallelujah_  
 _You were an angel in the shape of my mum_  
 _Spread your wings and I know_  
 _That when God took you back he said Hallelujah_  
 _You're home_

The stunned silence in the club didn't last long before it was broken by the deafening applause. The two Scott brothers clapped their hands together as hard as possible, yelling and whistling over the noise.

"Alright!"

Haley's chocolate brown eyes met with Nathan's and her face contorted into a mixture of disbelief and embarrassment as the cheers grew louder. She drew her shoulders up in a helpless shrug as Nathan's grin overtook his face. In that moment, he knew, no matter how she felt or what she wanted, he could never live without her.


	26. Chapter 26

"Haley!"

It was Peyton that reached her first, as Haley stepped down from the stage. Her eyes were large like saucers filled with incredulity as the blonde-haired record producer embraced her.

"Haley, you were amazing!"

"Yeah, way to go, Tutor Girl!" Brooke exclaimed as she joined the pair. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "That song... wow! It almost made me want to call my mom and tell her I love her."

Two pairs of eyes turned to her and Brooke shook her head with a small laugh. "Never mind, moment of insanity over. But the point is, you killed it out there."

Haley let out a shaky breath, unable to keep the shy smile from stretching her cheeks. Her body was vibrating with the surge of adrenaline that flooded her veins. "Thanks, Brooke. Thanks, Peyton. That was... I can't believe..."

She shook her head, failing to form a full sentence that described the experience she just had. The crowd was still clapping loudly, and next to the tall heads of the Scott brothers at the bar, she saw Jake stick a few fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle.

"I'm so proud of you," Peyton gave her another hug. "You were a total rockstar out there." She smiled, clearly seeing the distraction on Haley's face, and pushed her away lightly. "Now, go see your boys over there. They look as proud of you as I am."

As Haley made her way to the bar, the crowd pushed against itself as people came up to her to shake her hand and congratulate her. Her head was swimming with the compliments; a few people even asked her to sign her autograph on the back of the black Tric coasters, and asked her if she had an album out. She shook her head, dazed with the deluge of attention. She had never experienced anything like it; on the rare few occasions she had sung in LA, her audience had largely been desperate musicians who were highly competitive and ungenerous with their praise. To see complete strangers being moved by a song that she had written, impressed with her voice, simply blew Haley's mind.

"Haley!" One voice stood out above the rest, and when she saw Nathan approach with his arms held wide, it was only natural that she run into them. He lifted her up as effortlessly as if she were a child and spun her around. "Hales, that was incredible. You were incredible."

As Nathan held her up in his strong arms, their lips nearly at the same level and his proud, husky voice in her ear, it simply felt like the logical next step for Haley to stretch up the last few inches and capture his lips in hers. Each time they had kissed, it had felt different - tonight, the light dusting of his 5 o'clock scraped deliciously against her chin and upper lip - but each time she had been amazed at how soft his lips were, how tenderly he could kiss her, how it felt like a herd of zebras stampeding in her stomach. For a woman who had spent the year struggling to feel something, kissing Nathan made her feel _everything_.

She didn't hear the noise of the crowd around them, or see the surprised look on Lucas' face that he wasn't the first Scott brother Haley had run to. She didn't see the knowing look of Peyton and Brooke, two best friends communicating something without words. She simply felt Nathan - his touch, his smell, his taste. The pair stood, still gently moving their lips together, until the familiar voice of her best friend broke through.

"Congratulations, Hales. You were amazing up there."

Haley broke away with a flush on her face. She slowly slid down Nathan's body, too embarrassed to hear his quiet groan, and faced Lucas, who was watching her with amusement. A sense of panic overtook her; what had she been thinking, throwing herself at Nathan as if she was really his girlfriend? Sure, he was more than happy to play pretend when he was rubbing it in Chris' face, but there had been no sign of her ex-boyfriend when she launched herself at her roommate. Her face reddened. So much had just happened that it had to be the adrenaline and shock that caused her to forget herself. She turned to the older Scott brother.

"I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Luke." Hastily, Haley pulled him in for a hug, tucking her head under his chin like she had done so many times before. She pushed away the thought that Nathan was so much more muscular than his older brother, and how the extra two inches of height he held over Lucas meant that Haley's cheek rested snugly against the padded muscle of his chest, instead of the somewhat less comfortable bone of Lucas' shoulder. Why was she comparing the two brothers like that?

"Really, Haley," Lucas pulled away and held her at arms' length, staring at her with his light blue eyes. "You should be proud of yourself. That was a big deal, you singing up there."

"Haley." Another familiar voice broke into the conversation, this time less welcome.

Haley nodded, "Hi, Chris."

"Haley..." Chris shifted uncomfortably in front of her. "You were... that was... Chris Keller was..." he broke off, shaking his head. "I was wrong," he corrected himself. "I was wrong, Haley. That song touched something inside of me. Your songwriting, it's not weak at all. That was a great performance. You deserve all the success you get."

She could see how difficult it was for him to say that. His eyes finally met hers, brimming with sincerity she had never seen before. "I'm sorry, Haley."

"Thanks, Chris. That means a lot, truly."

Chris nodded, and she could tell that he wanted to leave, to end this moment of humility. Lucas and Nathan both stood behind her, within earshot, but Haley was grateful that Nathan wasn't putting on his act of physical affection. She needed this moment to finally remove Chris from her life, to accept his apology and focus on closing the door that he had attempted to open when he appeared on her parents' front porch that morning. She needed to be able to say goodbye to him, knowing that it was final.

"Listen... uh, if you ever need an opening act on your tour... well, you know where to find me."

She smiled at him gently. "Chris, I'm not touring. I just performed tonight because I wanted to know that I could. I'd spent so long following you and your dreams around that I didn't even know what mine were anymore."

If possible, Chris' face looked more contrite. He opened his mouth to speak, but Haley had more to say. "That's not your fault, Chris... I was the one that went along, I could have said no. It's in the past now. From now on, I'm only going to be focused on my dreams. No one else's."

Chris pressed his lips together and nodded. The two shared one last look with each other, of apology and forgiveness.

"Bye, Haley."

"Bye, Chris."

The tall musician shouldered his way past the crowd towards the exit. Nathan was at her side a moment later, with a gentle hand on her waist. "You ok?"

Onstage, Peyton was announcing the next act - a local rock band. Haley nodded, and glancing up, she saw the concern in Nathan's eyes. "It's just been a crazy night. I'm not bothered by Chris, don't worry. I'm going to get something to drink... meet you back at the booth?"

"I can get it for you if you want."

Haley shook her head, "No, I just need a minute to process everything. I'm still recovering from singing in public." She gave him a reassuring smile. "Really, I'm ok. I'll be there soon."

"Sure."

The brothers headed towards the reserved booth as Haley made her way to the bar. It was busy, with Jake being pulled in to help the other three staff who were dotted around the rectangular space. Haley eased her way onto a stool, nodding and smiling at a few people who congratulated and complimented her along the way.

"I'll have a cranberry soda, please."

"Are you sure you don't want anything stronger?"

Haley looked up to see where the question was coming from. The bartender in front of her was tall, with boyish features and dark hair. He was twisting a cloth inside a glass, giving her a shy smile. "That was one hell of a performance up there. You're amazing."

"Oh," Haley flushed. "Um, thanks. Just soda is fine, thanks."

As the man prepared her drink, he asked, "So, what brings you to Tree Hill? Are you on tour or something?"

"Oh no, I'm just... I'm actually from Tree hill, but I'm here visiting friends this weekend. Peyton kind of encouraged me to sing tonight. I haven't sung like that in a very long time."

"Wow," the bartender raised his eyebrows to show he was impressed. "Seriously? You have a beautiful voice. I thought you were a pro."

"Thanks," Haley ducked her head slightly, to hide the blush that was spreading across her already flushed cheeks.

"I'm Chase, Chase Adams."

"Haley James," She stuck out her hand to shake the one offered to her.

"So how do you know Peyton?"

"Oh, we... we went to school together," Haley decided that was the easiest answer.

Chase handed over the deep red soda and Haley took a sip, enjoying the cool bubbles inside her mouth and throat. He continued to ask questions about herself, like where she had gone to school, what LA was like and told her how he was bartending at Tric to pay for his aviation training. The conversation was simple and easy, and time passed unknowingly. It was only when Haley's straw gurgled loudly to signal the end of her drink that she had realized how long she had been sitting at the bar talking.

"Here, let me get you another. On the house."

"Oh no, it's..."

"Hey, there you are."

Nathan's deep voice interrupted Haley's protest as he slid behind her, slipping a hand around her waist. He looked up at the man who was standing in front of them, and back down at her, with an unreadable expression in his eyes. "I was looking for you, baby. Everything alright?"

Haley saw Chase's eyes grow wide behind the bar, and she hadn't missed the way Nathan had called her baby. She was pretty sure Chase hadn't, either.

"Oh man, you're Nathan Scott."

"Yes, I am."

"Oh wow, it's great to meet you. I'm a huge Bobcats fan." Chase stuck an enthusiastic hand out only to be met with Nathan's cold, intimidating stare. His eyes glanced down at the outstretched hand, before flicking to the bartender and then back to Haley.

"Come on, babe. We're all at the booth waiting for you."

"Oh, uh..." Chase dropped his hand nervously, his eyes also flickering back and forth between the pair in front of him. "I'm sorry, I didn't..."

"Didn't realize you were flirting with my girl?"

"Nathan!" Haley admonished, Flustered, she glanced up at Chase. "I'm not... I mean, we're not..." She shook her head, embarrassed, and turned back to Nathan. "Chase wasn't flirting, we were just talking."

Nathan's hand moved to the small of her back, pressing lightly until she stood up. "Well, let's just leave _Chase_ to pour the drinks, alright? Come on, Hales."

Haley wanted to laugh at Nathan's possessiveness in front of a total stranger, despite how rude he was being. Chase stood awkwardly behind the bar as Haley smiled apologetically at him as Nathan ushered her away.

"Nathan Scott, that was so rude!" She hissed, once they were out of earshot. "You know you don't have to pretend to be my boyfriend anymore. Chris has gone."

"Aw, come on, Hales. You didn't want that bartender flirting with you."

"He wasn't flirting! We were just talking!" Haley repeated

Nathan scoffed. "Did he compliment your singing?"

Haley frowned, "Well, yes, but..."

"Was he asking questions about yourself? Trying to get to know you?"

"Yes, but..."

"Did he offer to buy you a drink?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Hales, that's flirting."

"Oh, so every guy that's nice to me and compliments me is flirting with me?"

Nathan's reply was immediate. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Well, aren't I lucky to have my big, tough, pretend boyfriend to protect me from unwanted advances," Haley rolled her eyes, teasingly.

"Ooh, who was making unwanted advances on Tutor Girl?" Brooke asked, inquisitively, as they move around to sit on the padded seats.

"No one."

"That loser bartender," Nathan said at the same time, overriding Haley's protest.

"Oh, Chase?" Peyton peered around the seats to watch the subject of the conversation pouring a beer. "He's nice, he was working for Karen and Jake kept him on when he took over. I think he's studying to be a pilot or something."

"Yeah, he was telling me," Haley said, "Before Nathan went all caveman on me."

Before anyone could say anything further, a familiar song came over the speakers. Haley's eyes perked up and she sat up in her seat.

 _Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride... nobody's gonna slow me down…_

"Oh my gosh, this is my song!"

"What?" Nathan frowned, clearly disoriented by the change in subject and Haley's enthusiasm over a random 80's pop song.

"My song! It's ... oh, never mind."

"Come on, girls, let's dance!" Brook commanded, pulling Peyton out of her seat. Haley laughed at Brooke's insistent tugging, and Peyton joined in, wrapping an arm around Haley's shoulders as the three moved towards the dance floor in front of the stage where Haley had sung. Throwing her hands in the air, Haley turned around wildly, full of sober excitement and genuine happiness. She couldn't believe that barely two months ago, she had felt insecure and uncomfortable, like a stranger with the two best friends, who were now dancing with her as if they were sisters. She couldn't believe she was the same woman who had sung a heartfelt, poignant song that pulled all the strings of her emotions in front of a packed room.

She was still Haley James, but Haley James' life was finally changing for the better.

* * *

The hours slid into early morning, and soon Haley and her friends were the last people in the bar. Empty glasses had been collected, tables wiped down and the bartenders were closing up for the night. On the dance floor, Peyton and Jake swayed together in each other's arms, cocooned in a happy bliss of a successful opening night of Tric. Brooke and Lucas were making out on the other side of the table, oblivious to Nathan's loud gagging noises as they sat across from them.

Haley laughed, "Come on, they're cute."

"They're disgusting," Nathan scrunched his face up, a surprisingly adorable look for someone so masculine, Haley thought.

Haley was still sober, but happy - riding high on the success of her singing and the amount of people coming up to congratulate her. The rest of her former high school classmates were similarly happy, bolstered by a long night of drinking. Haley could tell that while none of them were fully drunk, they were on their way. Nathan's eyes had taken on a lazy, hooded look and his movements were slower than usual.

"Uh... hey, Haley," an uncertain voice spoke up and both Haley and Nathan turned to see Chase standing awkwardly beside their booth, putting his arms through a worn denim jacket. "Listen... I, uh... if you ever want to hang out when you're next in Tree Hill - you know, purely as friends -" he cast a hasty look at Nathan, who Haley could see was scowling at the bartender, "here's my number."

He handed over a Tric coaster, his name and phone number scribbled on the blank underside. Haley smiled at him, kicking Nathan discretely under the table to prevent unnecessary rudeness. "Thank you, Chase. Have a nice night."

"Uh, yeah... you, too."

Chase walked off and Haley turned to her roommate, who was now making faces behind the bartender's back. He plucked the coaster from Haley's hands and threw it behind him into the darkness of the club.

"Very mature, Nathan," Haley teased. She didn't know why Nathan didn't like the guy, but hadn't taken his actions seriously considering she was never going to contact Chase again. "Come on, boyfriend ... let's dance."

She stood up, stretching her hands out towards him and was surprised when he grasped them and followed her. Jake had changed the music into some slow soft rock, and Haley wrapped her hands around Nathan's neck. He pulled her flush against his strong form, his arms around her waist while she found the comfortable spot on his pectoral to rest her head. It was funny how easily they fit together and how physically comfortable they were with each other.

They swayed in silence for a moment, until Nathan spoke up. "You weren't really going to call that Chase guy, were you?"

Haley laughed at how concerned Nathan seemed over her relationship with the Tric bartender. "No, Nathan, I wasn't."

She felt his muscles relax. "Good."

Haley was still smiling to herself over his behavior when he said, "You know, I really enjoyed pretending to be your boyfriend."

The sensation of his lips on hers flashed into Haley's brain, and she bit her own lip in an effort to hold the emotion in, grateful that her face was hidden. "Yeah," she replied as casually as she could, "who knew you were so protective!"

Nathan pulled away, staring down at her seriously. "I told you, I will always protect you, Hales."

Haley reached up and tenderly stroked his stubble-roughened jaw with the pad of her thumb. "I know. Thank you, Nathan."

It was a tender moment, and Haley felt the fizzy sensation in her stomach. Ignoring it, she nestled back into his chest as they continued to dance, breathing in the comforting scent of Nathan's cologne.

"Mmm... you always smell so good," she murmured, mostly to herself as she snuggled in closer.

"It's my Rainstorm body spray."

Haley lifted her head from his chest to throw it back with laughter. She had unknowingly recited the lines from Nathan's infamous body spray commercial from his NBA days, and he had responded in the same sultry voice.

"You know, when that ad came out, my friends in LA were so jealous when I told them I knew you. They all wanted to know what you were like and if you were that hot in person."

"Did you tell them what I jerk I was and that I was even hotter in person?"

Haley laughed again. "I said I tutored you,"

"Oh great, so you told them what an idiot I am."

Haley slapped his arm, "You are not and never have been an idiot, Nathan Scott."

Nathan pulled away again and Haley could see his sleepy, slightly drunken face. His smirk was slow and lazy and she smiled fondly at him while he gazed at her through drooped eyelids.

"There is no one in the world quite like you, Haley James."

"Haha, I'll take that as a compliment."

"It is a compliment." Nathan's heavy tongue slowed over the word, but he wasn't drunk enough for his speech to slur. Haley heard him clearly as he stared at her with a faraway look in his eyes. "Your kindness is overwhelming, Haley. I mean, you saved my life."

Haley felt the blood vessels in her cheeks expand at his words and the way they sounded through the deep huskiness of his voice. Burying her face back into his black dress shirt, she shook her head against the soft fabric.

"No, you saved mine."

His arms held her tighter, and they slowly swayed together in silence until Nathan was barely moving. With his eyes closed, he looked as if he had fallen asleep against Haley's head, and he staggered slightly with the sudden movement when she moved away.

"What do you say we take you home?" She suggested.

Nathan quirked one side of his mouth up in another lazy smirk. "Home. That sounds good to me."

"Me too, Nathan. Me too."

 **Firstly, I'm sorry that this chapter isn't very well written - I really struggled to convey how happy and proud everyone was of Haley and the right dynamic between her and Chris, and I wasn't very happy with the dialogue but was at a loss as to how to improve it! Secondly, I know most of you are impatient to see Naley get together and trust me, I am too! It's killing me writing this phase, where Haley is feeling better within herself but she and Nathan still don't know how the other feels. I promise, that won't be forever, but I feel like I've spent a lot of time carving this version of Haley out and it's not in her current frame of mind to throw herself into a relationship after all she's been through. This story has been as much about Haley's depression as it has been about Naley's friendship and relationship. Anyway, the next chapter sheds a lot of light on where Haley is at and still has a lot of Naley loveliness; I hope that's enough to tie you guys over! Thanks again for your feedback and reviews, I appreciate it so much!**


	27. Chapter 27

The events that triggered the start of Haley's depression had been seismic ones, like two, large tectonic plates shifting, forever changing the ground in which her life had been built on. When Haley woke up the next morning, however, she realized that while her struggle with her mental health had begun over a juddering shake that was impossible to ignore, her recovery had been more like the tide eroding the darkness she had felt in her soul. It was slow and gradual, something she hadn't even been to recognize fully until she looked inside herself and saw a different internal landscape hidden there.

Lying in bed, she glanced around the small bedroom that she had left behind eight years ago. Her parents hadn't bothered to change anything, already having more than enough space, so the room was like a time vault of her Tree Hill High senior year. The rest of the upstairs floor was a storage space of memories; in the bedroom beside hers, she could practically see Quinn and Taylor fighting over the mirror as they got ready for dates, or smell the aroma of sports gear and the overpowering tang of cheap men's body spray from the room JJ and Matthew shared. It was fresh eyes that took it all in, compared to the pair that had been there in March.

Haley moved to the partially open door of the room across from hers, the first room to be converted to a guest bedroom shortly after Drew had gotten married. It was the room Haley had given Nathan to sleep in while they stayed at the house. Nathan was fast asleep, on his stomach with the covers pushed down to his waist so the muscular contours of his strong shoulders back were exposed. His left arm was bent at the elbow, his hand tucked under the edge of the pillow where his head lay. Haley inhaled deeply at the sight; the room smelt of beer and the warm, sleepy male scent that made a woman instinctively want to crawl under the covers to find the source and cuddle in tight.

Haley had seen Lucas fast asleep many times, remembering how he always looked like a little boy in his deepest slumber. This morning, Nathan's face was peaceful and crease-free, but Haley couldn't see any trace of the boy he'd once been. Even sleeping, Nathan's features were strong and hard, too masculine to ever be pubescent.

It hit her like a squall, the fluttering in her stomach over Nathan's kisses and admiring his powerful body. Over the last few months living with him, she'd seen him shirtless countless of times, and had enjoyed the change in the level of their physical affection, but Haley had never imagined this... this strong physical attraction towards the brother of her best friend, the boy she tutored eight years ago and hadn't seen since. It was unsettling for many reasons. Haley had never been someone who craved sex, she enjoyed it as much as the next person, she figured, but her current state of abstinence hadn't bothered her at all. To find that her body was reacting in unknown ways to Nathan Scott was confusing. During high school, she had known that the popular Ravens star forward had been handsome (or the cheerleaders' more primitive description of 'hot'), but it wasn't something that factored in to her behavior towards him during their twice weekly tutoring sessions. She saw the angry young man with a complicated family life - and one of those complications happened to be her best friend. She quietly listened to Nathan's battles and angry monologues and offered advice and support, and in a way she had felt it was part of her duty as a tutor; it had certainly been a part of her future job as a teacher, in the way that someone would open up to their hairdresser.

But now, suddenly, she saw the warm, bare flesh of his body and wanted to rest her cheek against it, to feel how it could simultaneously be warm and soft, yet hard and strong. She wanted to be able to kiss him whenever she wanted and feel his surprisingly soft lips tease hers. And she hadn't forgotten the startling way her brain had wondered what he would be like making love, the unbidden thought that had sprung to mind after an innocent charade of a kiss last night.

At the end of the day, the biggest reason why it unsettled Haley so much is because it wasn't real. Like her depression had darkened her mood and created a sense of helplessness and insecurity, her gradual recovery was obviously opening sides to her that she hadn't felt before and poor Nathan was the only suitable focus for its attention. It was just a phase, perhaps something related to her medication that had never made her feel quite herself anyway, and the practical, intelligent side of Haley James knew that she just had to ignore the frivolous butterflies in her stomach as best she could and focus on what was important.

Because one thing had become clear to her in the last 24 hours - what was important. And that was what she needed to focus all her attention on.

A few hours later, Haley finally heard movement in the house, and she instinctively turned towards her bedroom door to see Nathan stumble through it. He propped himself up against the door frame and watched her, sleepily. He was still shirtless and the pair of basketball shorts that he slept in were riding low on his hips - indecently low, to the point where Haley could actually tell that he didn't have anything underneath them. She turned back to what she had been looking at on her desk, partially to stop herself from gawking, and to hide her rapidly reddening cheeks.

"Morning," Nathan's voice was husky with sleep and tugged something deep within Haley's core.

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

Haley chanced a glance over at him as he shuffled into her room and flopped face-first onto her tidily made bed. The fabric of his shorts clung firmly to the contours of his ass and she looked away again.

"Urgh. Tired," came his mumbled reply.

"Hungover?

"Not really, I've been worse." His voice turned curious as he undoubtedly wondered why Haley was staring so hard at her desk in front of her. "What are you looking at?"

Not you, Haley thought to herself, determinedly. She turned back and trained her eyes on the bare soles of his feet, which were sticking way over the edge of the bed. With her trying to avoid looking at his back and ass, she figured she'd be safe with something as innocent as feet. It only served to remind her how large they were, and her imagination moved onto other parts of his anatomy that was also likely to be large. She quickly stared back at the large book as Nathan turned his head to face her.

"Um... actually, I just found some, um, old... stuff."

"Old stuff. Right."

Haley took a deep breath, trying to collect her mental sensibilities.

"I never really cleared my room out when I left for college. I just found our senior yearbook."

Wordlessly, Nathan stuck his arm out and Haley handed the book over. She watched him as he flicked through it, instinctively skipping the plentiful pages that showcased the Ravens basketball team - him more than any other player. He stopped towards the end of the individual portraits, frowning. "I didn't sign this."

"No, you didn't."

"Why not?"

Haley laughed, "Come on, Nathan. Did you even know I existed in high school? Outside of tutoring, I mean."

Nathan's frown drew deeper. "Haley, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be anything..."

"Don't be silly, Nathan," Haley interrupted him. "Anyway, all of those phone calls and stuff didn't happen until after we left school."

"Still..." Nathan looked unhappy and unconvinced. He shook his head. "Pass me a pen."

"Nathan, you can't sign my yearbook 8 years after we graduated!"

"Pass me a pen."

Haley laughed at his determination and handed him a pen. He scrawled something quickly over his portrait.

"What did you write?!"

"Something I should have said 8 years ago."

Nathan closed the book and tried to put it back in her drawer, but Haley intercepted it. Flipping through the pages, she found the photo of Nathan Royal Scott, under Lucas' smiling image. In his messy writing that had become so familiar, he had written: Don't say you never gave me anything. You've given me an amazing life. Nathan.

Haley felt her cheeks flush, the room feeling smaller and warmer and she knew she had to get out of there.

"Come on," she shutting the yearbook in the drawer in a way she wished she could close off her feelings. "We're meeting the others for lunch in a little over an hour. Let's get out of here. My room hasn't seen so much topless male before, it might not cope much longer."

Nathan smirked, "You haven't had a guy in this room before?"

"Well, Luke's been in here, obviously."

"Ew," Nathan scrunched up his nose and Haley laughed.

"I actually feel like a run, to clear my head. I brought my shoes. What do you say? You up for it?"

"Actually..." Nathan sat up, a glint in his bright azure eyes. One side of his mouth lifted up. "I have a better idea..."

* * *

"Nathan! This is breaking and entering! We're breaking the law!"

"No we're not. It's like... public property. We can be here."

"The door was locked and you broke in!"

Haley's scandalized whispers were in stark contrast to the loud laugh Nathan let out. "Come on, Hales. My name is all over the place. I practically own this building."

"Nathan Scott, just because your old high school jersey is on the wall doesn't mean you own school gym!"

Nathan kept laughing and strode over to a rack on the other side of the gym where a dozen basketballs lay waiting. Haley looked around; the Tree Hill High gym was a lot bigger than she remembered it, although she had hardly spent much time there. A lone, faded blue banner hung from the rafters, telling the world that the Tree Hill Ravens were state champions eight years ago. Nathan's jersey, identifiable by the famous 23 emblazoned on the back, hung in a frame on the wall, a small gold plaque announcing him as the all-time leading scorer. It so many ways, nothing had changed in that smelly, dimly lit gym; the school hadn't seen anyone or anything quite like Nathan Scott and had frozen itself in time, waiting to be thawed by the next rare prodigy to grace its court.

A swooshing noise distracted Haley and she turned to see Nathan at the free-throw line, arms above his head and wrists bent as the basketball fell through the net and bounced on the court. Retrieving the ball, he bounced it between his legs a few times, before jumping up and twisting his body until he faced the net in midair, his hands gripping the rim of the basket as he let the ball drop through. He hung on for a few seconds, the short sleeves of his light grey t-shirt straining against his arms, before he gracefully dropped to the floor.

Haley couldn't help but notice how effortless it was for Nathan. His tall frame moved like liquid, his shoes seemed to have springs in them as the ball found the hoop as if was being drawn there by magnetic forces. For the first time since she had seen him, his face was clear. The worry which she had noted yesterday, and the stress he constantly seemed to carry around was gone. His face was solely filled with enjoyment.

"Woo! Go, 23!"

She clapped and shouted and as Nathan turned towards her, he looked surprised, as if he had forgotten she was there.

"Come on, James, let's see what you've got," he grinned at her.

"Um... no."

"Why not! Come on."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Because I'll look stupid!"

"You realize I've seen you in that crocheted poncho thing you used to wear, right?" Nathan arched an eyebrow at her, laughing and ducking away as she moved to punch him.

"I don't know how to play, Nathan."

"Are you serious? You've been friends with Luke for like, 20 years. He never taught you?"

Haley laughed, "He didn't want me embarrassing him."

"You don't embarrass me, Haley."

The sincerity in Nathan's voice and the wide smile on his face somehow had her dragging her feet towards him until she was standing uncertainly in front of the tall hoop.

"Alright, square your shoulders, to the basket. And you gotta bring the ball right up past your nose, like this," Nathan demonstrated. "Ok? Bend your knees a little."

He tossed the ball to Haley, who squinted up at the dangling net. She felt his body move behind her and his hands grip her low around the hips. Haley's breathing shallowed as his ever-familiar scent invaded her senses. She couldn't believe she was actually going to try and do this.

"Just relax your hips," Nathan instructed, and as her body reacted in opposition, he pressed harder. He was crouched down until he was almost at her height, and Haley felt the warm skin of his cheek brush against her hair. They were as close as they had been the previous night, dancing together at Tric.

"Just shoot."

A pleasant shiver ran through Haley's body and it took all the self-control she possessed to keep her arms in the position Nathan had demonstrated. She hurled the ball towards the hoop, her eyebrows raising in surprise as the ball clanged loudly against the metal rim before thumping down to the ground. She hadn't expected to get even close to the hoop on her first try, especially with Nathan in such close proximity

"Ok," Nathan's mouth quirked as he stood up to his full height again. "That wasn't perfect, but it also wasn't embarrassing." As he took a step away from her and moved to collect the wayward ball, he shot her a genuine, patented Nathan Scott smirk.

"It was actually kinda sexy."

Had Haley imagined the huskiness in his voice as he said that? Her body reacted and she crossed her arms firmly across her chest to hide any outward sign of her arousal. Nathan Scott using the S word in front of her way just too much.

"Well, well, well... Nathan Scott and Haley James. If there were ever two people to break into my gym, I can't say I would've picked you."

Never so glad for an interruption and distraction, Haley jumped at the sound of a new voice. Strolling across the hardwood floor was their former principal, Mr. Turner.

"Well..." he added, "Possibly you, Mr. Scott. But I wouldn't have imagined you'd have lured Miss James to a life of crime."

Haley yelped in fear, stepping back behind Nathan's large frame as if to shield herself from trouble. "I'm so sorry, Principal Turner... it wasn't me, I swear... it was Nathan, I was trying to..."

The principal's laugh cut her off, and Haley released a breath over his apparent amusement over anger. As difficult as her life had been, she didn't want to end up in jail for breaking and entering. Not when things were starting to get better.

"Hey!" Nathan protested, turning his body to reveal more of Haley. "Tattle-tale."

"Nathan Scott," the principal had reached the pair and held out his hand for the former NBA player to shake. "It's great to see you again. I've taken a lot of enjoyment in following your career, young man. And maybe some pride, hoping your time at this school played a part in your success. I was sorry to hear of your injury last year - not just because I'm a devout Bobcats fan - but it was a shame to see a player of your caliber have a very illustrious career come to an end far too soon."

Haley watched as Nathan nodded his head, humbly. "Thank you, sir."

Sensing that perhaps Nathan didn't want to talk about his career further, Principal Turner turned to Haley with a smile on his face. "And don't think I haven't been proud of you too, Miss James. My eldest daughter is a professor at Stanford. I heard there was some talk of trying to lure you into their faculty."

Haley blushed at his words. It seemed like a lifetime ago, after she had finished her teacher certification at Stanford's master's program, a number of her professors had encouraged her to continue her postgraduate studies and look at possibly joining their ranks one day. She had known her former principal's daughter taught there, although they had rarely crossed paths. The thought that Mr. Turner had bothered to check up on her career through his daughter made the capillaries beneath her cheeks expand further.

"I was never really interested in teaching at that level, I've always wanted to be a high school teacher," Haley admitted. "It's such an important age, I've always wanted to make a difference at that stage in their lives."

"And you have, Hales," Nathan spoke up, softly. She turned to him in surprise. "You were doing that even before you went to Stanford."

Nathan spread his arms out to indicate who he was talking about, and Haley was sure her face was on fire. No matter how often he told her, she never got used to hearing how she had changed his life.

"Yes, it certainly seems like you made a huge difference to your fellow students here at Tree Hill High," Principal Turner mused, his eyes shifting back and forth between his former students in front of him. "What school are you teaching at now?"

The question caused a sharp pang in Haley's stomach, and she eased her bottom lip between her teeth, biting down hard in an effort to distract her from the pain. "I, um... I'm not teaching anywhere at the moment."

Turner's eyebrows raised in surprise. Haley wasn't sure what it was - whether it was the patient expression on the principal's face or the warmth Nathan's earlier comment had started in her veins, but she found herself opening her mouth and telling the full story that led to her being forced to quit her previous job at the prestigious LA school where she had taught.

The two men listened quietly as she told them how moved she had been over a student's piece, how it had been a little a little risqué and PG-13, but she believed in the writing and it deserved to be shared. She told them how the principal had forced her to apologize and retract the article, and how she had refused; how she had sacrificed her job in order for a student's voice to be heard. By the time she had finished, her hand was in Nathan's and his thumb was tracing delicate circles against her palm.

"I sometimes wonder if I was wrong..." Haley admitted, quietly. "I was emotional after Dad dying, hearing Mom had cancer, maybe I felt something in that girl's writing that struck a chord with me personally, but stopped me from using my better judgement..."

"No," Mr. Turner replied, and the force of his voice made Haley look up. "Haley, you want to make a difference to a teenager? Believe in them. Believe in what they have to say. It sounds like you did exactly the right thing."

The doubt worried at Haley's stomach. "Yeah, but... I still don't have a job. That's going to be something that follows me for the rest of my career - if I even still have a career in teaching. I..."

"Haley, the only person who did anything wrong was that principal, in letting you go. I have worked with a lot of teachers in my time, Haley, and few have showed the integrity and courage that you did by publishing that story. You would be an asset to any teaching team."

Nathan's hand squeezed hers, and Haley gave Mr. Turner a grateful smile. "Thank you, Principal Turner," she said, quietly.

She let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding, and as Nathan moved back towards the basketball hoop and Turner talked about a new creative writing class that was starting in the new school year, Haley realized that with the breath she had released, a weight that she had been carrying around with her had also left her body. It felt good to finally talk about the circumstances in which she had left her job, to close the chapter of the final part of her life in California that she had been carrying. Like her friends' comments and belief in her singing the night before, she believed Mr. Turner's words.

She was starting to believe in herself.

* * *

"Ok, let me get this straight," Brooke silenced the table with the splaying of her hands. "Nate was getting all hot and bothered over Tutor Girl - styled by Brooke Davis and Clothes Over Bros, of course - and now he actually has feelings for her?"

Jake and Peyton exchanged glances and nodded. "Yup."

"How deep are we talking? Like, way more than he just wants to get in her incredibly stylish pants, right?"

The married couple turned to each other again, their faces grim. "Yup,"

"More like he wants to get her in an incredibly stylish wedding dress." Lucas spoke up.

"What?!" Brooke's shriek had heads turning towards the friends' table. Acknowledging her mistake, she lowered her voice. "What?!"

Lucas sighed, "I don't know, Brooke. I've never seen him like this. He's caring, he's selfless, he's completely head over heels for Haley and focused on her recovery. This is the real deal for him. I can see it in his eyes."

"Yeah, but has he even used the L word?"

Peyton, Jake and Lucas all shook their head, their faces all matching mirrors of consternation.

"And Tutor Girl knows none of this."

Peyton sighed, leaning back in her seat. "She's just on a completely different page. She wants to move back to Tree Hill, she wants to get off her anti-depressants, get a job and get her life back again. She's a fighter, that one... and I don't know what to do. I mean, I get it. I was so stubborn for so long."

"Yeah, but you came to your senses and let Hot Daddy over here put a ring on it." Brooke pointed out, causing Jake to flush and roll his eyes.

"Yeah, but it wasn't easy. I mean, I think her feelings towards Nate will change, eventually. But I don't think she'd allow them to unless she gets to where she thinks she wants to be."

"Which is here, in Tree Hill." Lucas finished for her.

"And there's no way Bobcat would ever move back here?"

Brooke had directed her question to Lucas, who shook his head, slowly. "No way. Not with Dan Scott alive and kicking. I mean, Dan thinks he's a changed man and he's been practically run out of town, anyway. But Charlotte is as close to this town as Nate ever wants to get. He's got a great agency up there, good friends. This place is too full of bad memories for him. Even Haley couldn't bring him back."

"Well this is just a mess, isn't it?" Brooke stated the obvious to everyone around the table.

Peyton sighed, heavily. "I owe it to Haley to tell her what happened. I mean, this could make all her dreams come true. But I can't do it to Nathan. He's been through so much, too."

"Yeah, but Nathan's the one not admitting his feelings to her. Surely you can tell Haley the news and then if Nathan is honest with her, she can decide what she wants more?"

"I don't think it'll work like that, Brooke. I honestly think if Nathan tells how he feels, she'll bolt. She'd be terrified."

"And I think Nathan knows that, too," Jake added. "He wants to make her happy, but he doesn't want to lose her. I mean, he bought her parents' house for her and she doesn't even know."

The four friends sat in silence for a moment, their thoughts with the couple who were still at their high school gym, who were oblivious to what had happened earlier that morning. It was Brooke that broke the silence.

"She's your best friend, Lucas. And he's your brother. What do you think Peyton should do?"

Lucas sighed again, willing his brain to move his lips, even though his romantic heart was screaming no. He met Peyton's eyes from across the table. "I think you have to tell Haley. Even if you don't, she's determined to end up in Tree Hill one way or another. Either way, someone is going to get hurt and all we can do is be there."

 **So... things are changing. I know the last part of this chapter was a little different not being from Nathan or Haley's POV, but I felt it was a good way to sum up where we're at and what everyone is feeling. I wonder what Peyton knows?** **I can't thank you enough for not asking me to rush Naley's relationship. Haley is starting to respond physically to Nathan - I wonder if her heart will follow, as Nathan's did? I can tell you that as long as my brain co-operates and doesn't go off on too many tangents, chapter 29 and 30 will be BIG ones. BIG.**

 **I don't really think I can address the allegations against Mark here. Its definitely affected my writing this week and it's harder to focus thinking about what the female cast and crew went through in order to make the show we love so much. I feel pretty frivolous, but I'm grateful to those still reading. Thank you x**

 **PS: All words taken from the show aren't mine. All errors are, though.**


	28. Chapter 28

Haley stood in the middle of the busy room, her arms wrapped around the other figure. She didn't care who was waiting for her - or the other person's - attention, she just needed to be held by them. She had never felt so loved and so secure all year. She had never felt so safe.

She felt like she had a mother again.

It shouldn't have surprised her, really, that the one thing she had avoided so desperately on her last trip to Tree Hill had been exactly what she needed. A hug from Karen Roe.

The instant Haley and Nathan had walked into the small but popular cafe, Lucas' mother had dashed around the counter and wrapped Haley up in a tight embrace. She was still to let go and Haley didn't mind one bit. Her tears were soaking into the shoulder of Karen's white shirt as the older woman gently stroked her hair and murmured soft, comforting words.

"I'm so sorry, Karen," Haley sniffled, when she finally had the strength to pull away. They were still in the middle of the cafe and bodies carefully jostled around them to get to the tables. "I know I should have come when I was here last time but I just couldn't..."

"Oh honey," Karen's warm, soft eyes took in Haley's tear-streaked face. "You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, I'm sorry, I should have reached out sooner, but Lucas said..."

"No, honestly, it's fine," Haley shook her head, embarrassed. "I just didn't realise how much I needed a hug like that until now."

Karen's smile was tender as she pushed a strand of dark blonde hair away from Haley's face. "I am always here for you, Haley. You're like a daughter to me... now, come up to the counter. I need to feed you up, you've gotten too thin."

Haley let Karen lead her to the counter, where delicious smelling cakes sat under clear domes on stands. The ever familiar scent of brewed coffee wafted over from the large pot in the corner. She sat up on a stool, watching with amusement as her roommate was blocked in against a wall by a tall brunette talking animatedly to him. Lucas, Brooke, Peyton and Jake were talking at their table; Haley and Lucas had already shared nods of understanding, her best friend knowing she would join them at the table after she had caught up with Karen

"Thank you for the mac and cheese," Haley spoke up, after blowing her nose and cleaning her face with some napkins on the counter. "Nathan thought Luke was smuggling drugs into his house!"

Karen's laugh was warm and comforting and Haley felt boneless as she smiled happily at her best friend's mother. Karen's Cafe was good for her soul; she hated that she had avoided it in fear of her overwhelming emotions.

"I have to say, I was surprised to hear that you had been living at Nathan's... but then, I always knew how badly that boy wanted to make it up to you. I'm glad Lucas asked him."

"I don't know what I would have done without him," Haley confessed. "Both of them... but I hate that I've overstayed my welcome. I think Nathan was only expecting me to stay a week or two."

The two women looked over at where Nathan was still standing, virtually pressed up against the wall. Haley finally recognised the brunette - a cheerleader who had been at school with them, Teresa. She was standing far too close to the former basketballer, her hands making flirty gestures and touching Nathan as much as possible. Haley stifled a giggle as she caught his desperate, pleading look in her direction.

"I'm sure Nathan doesn't mind the wonderful company one bit," Karen smiled.

Peyton came up beside them, waving Karen away as she moved to refill the coffee cups she was holding. Karen smiled again and let Peyton pour the drinks, as she turned back to Haley.

"So tell me Haley, really... how are you feeling?"

Haley sucked in a deep breath. Her head felt clear, she felt sure of her words. "I'm feeling ok, Karen. I really am... I'm eating better, I'm sleeping better - and without sleeping pills - Nathan makes me run with him every morning and it's really helped. My head feels clearer, I feel more in control of my emotions, and of my life. I mean, I miss..." she paused to take a breath before continuing, "I miss Mom and Dad. So much. It still aches, I still feel broken in so many ways but... that may never change and overall, I'm ok. I'm going to be ok."

Haley could see the way Karen's eyes were examining her closely, and she was clearly happy with Haley's answer when she smiled. "Oh honey, it makes me so happy to hear that. I can see that it's the truth."

Haley nodded. "It is, I feel... not my old self, but like I could like this version of me. Like I could defend myself when I hear those horrible voices..."

"Do you know what you're going to do next?"

These thoughts had been swirling around Haley's head all night. It felt like her plan was like a jigsaw puzzle, with some of the pieces in place but the rest were missing - she could make out the shapes that were absent, and was determined to complete the picture.

"I want to come back to Tree Hill, but I need to find a job," she admitted. "I'd love to go back to teaching... I thought maybe I'd see if Oak Lake had any vacancies... but maybe I could tutor privately for awhile to get some money?" Haley shrugged. "Once I have financial stability, that will make a huge difference... and selling my parents' house will help with that."

"Wait, what?" The two women turned, only remembering that Peyton was beside them when they heard her shocked outburst. She looked at Haley in surprise. "You want to sell your parents' house?"

Haley's shrug was slow but accepting. "Yeah... I see Drew's point, the money will help. I guess I feel differently this weekend than I did last time I was here. The house will always hold the special memories but moving on won't take them away from my heart... but I did think... I thought..." biting her lip, Haley confessed an image that had come to her this morning as she roamed the silent house. "I thought it would be nice to wait until next year and have Christmas together at the house. If I can get everyone there, that is. You know, have one last memory there, together. And then... yeah, I think then I'll feel better about letting the house go."

"I'm sure you can make that happen," Karen said, supportively. "I think that sounds like a lovely idea."

Haley looked at Peyton, who was staring at her, her brows creased together. "So where will you live, if you sell the house?"

"I can rent somewhere, it's just me I have to look after and I don't need a lot of space. I can easily manage on a teaching income - I've done it before."

"What about Charlotte?" Karen asked. "There are more schools there and I'm sure you'd find a job easily, Haley. You're a fantastic teacher."

Haley blushed at the compliment, one that she had started accept slowly, especially fresh from talking with Principal Turner. Like her relationship with Chris, she was beginning to see how her leaving her job wasn't her fault.

"I guess it'll be harder in Charlotte," Haley replied. "I mean, I've been enough of a burden on Nathan and... Tree Hill is home." She smiled at the curly blonde next to her, who still had a worried expression on her face. "And you and Jake are here - it'd be nice to get to know you guys better," she admitted, shyly.

Peyton gave her a small smile at that, but Haley couldn't help but notice that she still looked worried. "Haley..." Peyton started, uncertainly. "Are you absolutely sure you want to come back to Tree Hill?"

It was Haley's turn to frown at her new friend's concern. "Yes, of course I am. You know I am."

Haley watched as Peyton took a deep breath; it looked as if she were preparing herself for something. Finally, her green eyes met Haley's brown ones. "Then I think I know a way to help you."

* * *

Nathan had never been more bored in his life. He felt trapped, boxed in between the brick wall of Karen's Cafe and the unrelenting figure of his old classmate, Teresa - he had long forgotten her last name. Teresa had been just as dull and unmemorable back in high school, brainless with no ambition, unlike other cheerleaders such as Brooke and Peyton. Jake, Lucas and Brooke were on the other side of the cafe, deep in conversation and hadn't glanced over at all. He had thrown a few desperate looks over at Haley, but she was currently talking to Peyton; the two hadn't looked up once and both had serious looks on their faces. He was stuck.

Teresa was still living in Tree Hill, already divorced at 26 years old and - as she had told Nathan several times with a not-at-all subtle winks and bicep rubs - looking for husband #2. Her face seemed to be inflated in places and less mobile than most women of the same age and Nathan was sure she had had work done on it. The overall effect was scary and he was trying hard to escape. Although Nathan had slept with most of the cheerleaders in high school, he was never more thankful than now that he had never bothered with Teresa Whats-Her-Name.

Suddenly, Nathan felt a soft warm hand slide around his lower back, and another one crept up his chest to curl over his other shoulder. He nearly jumped in surprise, but the comforting scent of Haley's floral shampoo calmed him down before he felt her body press up against his side.

"Hi, baby... are you ready to order lunch now?"

Nathan hid his surprise well; while he certainly hadn't expected her words, after everything that transpired yesterday, pretending to be Haley's boyfriend was as easy as breathing.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Teresa asked, coldly. Nathan could see that she was trying to frown, but all the botox in her face meant she couldn't move her eyebrows far enough.

"Uh... Teresa, you remember Haley James from school, right?" Nathan spoke up.

"Soon to be Haley Scott!"

This time, Nathan couldn't hide his surprise as Haley thrust her left hand out in front of them. On her fourth finger sat a somewhat familiar diamond ring. Before he could think of who it really belonged to, Haley continued.

"We're engaged, getting married next summer, isn't that right, honey?"

Her over-exaggerated eyelash batting and syrupy-sweet voice was probably overkill, but Nathan knew that someone as dense as Teresa would never suspect anything. Haley looked like she was enjoying herself and Nathan, for one, certainly wasn't going to stop it. He smirked down at his "fiancee". "It can't come soon enough, baby. I just want you to be my wife."

"Oh Nathan," Haley swatted her hand against his chest.

Teresa made another attempt at a frown. "That's not a very big diamond. He used to play in the NBA; I wouldn't have accepted that dot as a pair of earrings if I were you."

Haley laughed another tinkling, girlish laugh that Nathan never suspected she'd be capable of. "This is a family heirloom, he knew I didn't want anything large and tacky... he's _so_ romantic like that," she smirked up at him and Nathan pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing. "Anyway, us ladies know there's only one important thing that needs to be _big_ in a relationship, and Nathan _more_ than makes up for it in that department."

This time, Nathan couldn't hold back his surprise, choking on air in his throat and coughing loudly. He struggled to take in enough air to fill his lungs and catch his breath.

"Oh honey," Haley patted him on the back, sounding amused. It certainly wasn't helping Nathan's recovery. "There's no need to be shy."

"Uh... uh..." Nathan sputtered, awkwardly

"Um, I've got to go", Teresa rushed out, her acting even less believable than Nathan thought Haley's was. Nathan couldn't even cough out a reply, but beside him, Haley waved with a saccharine smile firmly on her face.

"Bye Teresa! It was so lovely to see you again!"

"Uh, yeah... you too. Bye."

The door had barely closed behind the rushing ex-cheerleader when Nathan burst into laughter. He gripped at his rib cage as his chest started to hurt with the effort of breathing.

"Hales, what the hell was _that_?"

He could see she looked pleased with herself, and her cheeks were flushed pink. "Well, you were the one saving me yesterday so I thought I'd return the favour."

Nathan couldn't stop laughing, and Haley grinned, holding out her left hand to gaze admiringly at the diamond on her finger. "It's Peyton's ring. It was her idea, pretending we were engaged. She's going to be so mad if she hears that Teresa made fun of the size of her diamond!"

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. In the corner, he spotted a blonde head look up and throw a smile in his direction, before returning to her conversation with Brooke.

"Well, if Jake is as well endowed as you seem to think I am, I don't think she'll be complaining," Nathan commented with a smirk. Haley groaned, covering her quickly reddening face behind her hands, which just made Nathan laugh harder.

"Oh my God!" She spluttered. "It's just... I mean, look at the size of your shoes! Everyone knows that rumour about big feet and..." she groaned again, flapping her hands in front of her heated face.

Nathan laughed again with amusement, tucking his tongue inside his cheek as he debated whether or not to offer to prove to her that those rumors were true - in his case, definitely. Her growing confidence was incredible, the way she reacted to things, even if it was embarrassment, was such a change from the numb, silent woman she had been a few months ago. Before he could decide, Haley groaned again.

"Oh God, I forgot she was a Ravens cheerleader - she probably knows for herself."

"Urgh, hell no," Nathan couldn't suppress the shudder that rippled through his body, dousing his earlier amusement. "Come on, Hales... I may not have been proud of how I behaved in high school, but I never stooped that low.

"And Hales..." he worked up the courage to bring the teasing tone back into his voice, wiggling his eyebrows at his roommate, "if you ever want to prove those rumors, just ask..."

"Urgh, you pig," Haley swatted his chest, but she was still smiling and Nathan let his heart rate settle down again, thankful he hadn't crossed the ever-thinning boundaries of their friendship.

"Come on, future husband, it's getting late and I'm getting hungry." She tugged Nathan by the hand towards the direction of their friends' table. "I need to be fed."

"Yes, wifey," Nathan replied, dutifully, the grin threatening to overtake his face. "Whatever you say."

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Haley glanced up in surprise. Her head had been so focussed on her task, she'd forgotten that she was in the car on the way to the airport, heading back to Charlotte. Nathan had turned on a basketball game on the radio, and Haley - who thought the only thing more boring than sports was sports on the radio - had tuned out, letting her head wander to her earlier conversation with Peyton.

She glanced down at the notebook in her lap, filled with numbers from her quick budgeting. She quickly closed it, and the calculator app on her phone, before Nathan could see. She knew she had no reason to hide anything, but an uncomfortable feeling of guilt had crept into her stomach. She wasn't sure why, but she wasn't ready to have the conversation with Nathan yet.

"Just doodling," she mumbled. "Hey, where are we?"

Looking out the window, she noticed that she didn't recognise the landscape. They were on a dirt road, trees lining one side and no houses in sight - certainly not the route to the airport in Tree Hill.

They rounded a bend in the road and an old, dirty building came into view. Its double screen doors were were covered in dust, the white paint worn and weathered. An ice chest sat out the front, the rusty lock visible from where Nathan had stopped the car.

"Nathan? Where are we?" Haley asked again, confused. "Why did you stop?"

Beside her, Nathan had tensed up, his knuckles white against the steering wheel as he stared ahead at the old building.

"This is Dan's diner," he said at last, his voice quiet and hoarse.

"What? I..." Haley frowned in confusion, her head turning from the tall man beside her to the building he hadn't taken his eyes off. "Your father?"

"He had a heart attack last year. We'd... we'd fought, over me not returning to the NBA. He couldn't accept my decision. He didn't care how much I loathed the man I'd become. He said things, I said things... I said he was dead to me..."

"Nathan..."

His voice cut her off as he continued. "Someone at the dealership has found him that night. He recovered, obviously, and since then he's been trying to reach out to Mom and I, trying to say he's a different man, a better man."

"Do you believe him?" Haley asked.

Nathan continued to stare ahead, before finally shrugging and shaking his head. "I don't know. I don't think people can truly change."

"Why not? You did."

That made Nathan turn to face her, and she could see the worry lines creased into his face. He reminded her so much of the young man she tutored all those years ago and she wanted to reach across and soothe her fingers over his troubles.

"I don't want to see him, Hales. I don't want him in my life. That's why Charlotte is my home now. I can't be in Tree Hill, knowing Dan is here. Even if he has this pathetic existence, nothing but this diner, even if I never see him again..." he turned to look at her again. "He's a reminder of how unfair the world is. That a heart attack took your dad from you, but wouldn't take mine from me. How fucked up is that, Hales?"

Haley felt her eyes fill with tears and she pressed her lips together tightly until she was sure that she could talk without her voice breaking. "Nathan, what happened to my father isn't a reason to hate yours more. You're not Dan Scott. You're Nathan Scott. And no matter how much you hate him, I could never - he fathered two of the best men I know," she offered him a small smile when Nathan's blue eyes glanced at her. She reached over, her hand gently stroking the soft skin of the back of his neck. It was an intimate, soothing gesture.

"It doesn't mean the world is fucked up, Nathan. It's just... it's just life."

Nathan took a deep breath and they sat in silence for a moment. Between them, the disembodied voice over radio piped up loudly.

 _...The Bobcats racking up another loss in the conference this year, as they struggle to fill the hole left by their previous point guard. The final score, Washington Wizards, 105, Charlotte Bobcats, 88. I'm sure every basketball fan in North Carolina is missing Nathan Scott right now..._

"Yeah," Nathan sighed heavily, putting the car into gear and turning the steering wheel as the wheels crunched loudly against the dirt road. "It's just life."

 **AN: Just wanted to wish everyone in the States reading this a happy Thanksgiving! If you're a fan of Naley smut, please check out my little one-shot I posted earlier, just for your holiday today :-) By the way, I know this chapter ended on a really strange, sad note, but I want to let you know that's not going to be a plot point going forward. I'm not sure why I even included it in this chapter, but it came into my head and my fingers forced me to get it down. But Nathan's relationship with Dan isn't something I'm really going with in this story - I guess it was just to reinforce that he wouldn't ever be in Tree Hill to live, and maybe how Haley's attitude has changed and she's reached the acceptance stage of grief, but that's about it. As always, I would love to hear what you think of this chapter!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A quick recap as we enter a pivotal point in the story: Nathan is head over heels in love with Haley, and everyone knows it except her. Haley's head is full with all sorts of confused feelings - she's attracted to Nathan but she doesn't believe she's ready for a relationship and is adamant that she's not good enough for Nathan, anyway. The idea of them together is absurd. She's trying to focus on rebuilding her life and her career in Tree Hill, but that roommate of hers is just too sexy! I hope you enjoy x**

"Haley James?"

"I'm out here!"

The sun was warm on Haley's face as she sat by the edge of Nathan's pool, her bare legs dangling into the cool water. The days after Nathan and Haley's trip to Tree Hill had slowly turned into weeks, and May had slid into June, bringing warmer weather and longer days.

"Hey, you're home," Nathan appeared in the doorway and made his way to stand beside her. "I thought you might still be at the youth center."

It was a fair observation, as Haley had been spending the majority of her time there over the last few weeks. There had been at least a dozen kids who were still in school and preparing for finals the following week. She couldn't deny how pleased she had been with them, their desire to work hard and listen to her advice; even Quentin looked to be on track to ace his exams and his whole demeanour had changed. He was respectful towards Haley, making her laugh with stories about his crazy younger brother, or bringing a smile to her face when he spoke about how he was going to be Duke's next basketball legend and the next Nathan Scott for the Charlotte Bobcats. The teenager's admiration for her roommate made her proud.

Nathan himself had been busy with the NBA drafts fast approaching, often not coming home until late at night, which is why Haley was surprised to see him home in the middle of the afternoon. Haley had to admit that she missed his presence around the house - she'd become used to eating dinner with him and then relaxing on the couch afterwards, either reading a book or grading papers while Nathan watched SportsCenter, or laughing and talking about their days. As her plans for her future began to take shape, it took Nathan's absence in the evenings to make her realize how much she would miss him when she was back in Tree Hill.

Not that he had any idea that she was leaving, even though her departure date was a week away. It was easy to ignore whatever feelings that had prevented her from telling Nathan her news. A week after they had returned from Tree Hill, with her conversation with Peyton running through her mind, Haley had received a phone call that had suddenly made her dreams a reality. More phone calls were made, plans became more detailed, and then, slowly but surely, more concrete. But it had been easy to push them to a side, to separate her future from her present life, where she was happy and busy, even content to stay in Charlotte.

That had been another startling realization for Haley - that she had become comfortable and happy in this new city. She was never at a loss for things to do and had built great relationships with the troubled teens at the youth center. She loved having Quinn in town and her sister had made no plans to leave; her relationship with Clay seemed a happy and solid one, and Haley wasn't at all surprised when, on their way to lunch the other day, Quinn stopped to examine an empty storefront, saying it was a perfect location for her own gallery.

But Haley knew she had to stay focused on her plans. Her dream was to get her life back, and that was in Tree Hill. Even if Tree Hill was missing something that had become the most important part of her life, the highlight of her days.

Remembering that important part of her life, Haley realized that he was waiting for an answer. "The kids have been working hard," she quickly replied. "It's Friday afternoon so I thought I'd give them a break. Better not burn them out before exams even start."

"Ha, I don't remember you being that soft with me," Nathan teased her, apparently not noticing her thoughtful silence. "All I heard was 'Nathan, you should spend your weekends studying more and partying less!', 'Nathan, there's no point spending all your time bouncing that silly ball instead of studying because you'll get kicked off the team if your grades get any lower' and 'Nathan, reading is so much fun!'" he quoted her, his voice high and girlish.

Haley couldn't help but laugh at his imitation of her. "Hey! I don't sound like that!"

"Oh yeah," Nathan laughed, too. "You're more like 'Oh Nathan, you're so _big_! You definitely don't disappoint!'"

"Oh my God! Shut up, you!" Haley buried her head in her hands to cover her flaming face as Nathan continued to laugh beside her.

"Aw, come on, Hales, I'm not complaining," Nathan managed to get the words out through his laughter. "Remember, anytime you like, baby..."

Haley kept her head buried, her face reaching an unparalleled shade of red over Nathan's teasing. She knew she shouldn't be affected by it, but the truth was, their weekend at Tree Hill had really rattled her. Despite being increasingly busy with far more important things on her mind, Haley found herself thinking back to that weekend often; how comfortable it felt to pretend to be in a relationship with Nathan, how devastatingly weak her knees got over his kisses, how his strong body felt holding her. Every time she thought back to his teasing offer to prove the shoe size rumours, her stomach tumbled about at the thought of being in bed with him, feeling him drive into her, filling her completely.

None of it made sense, she knew. When Lucas had pretended to be her boyfriend all those years ago, the thought of kissing him had been repulsive. The two of them never joked or teased each other over anything sexual, they really did behave like a close brother and sister. But with Nathan... He brought out a side of her that she had never seen before, feelings she had never felt before. It was confusing, the way her thoughts filled her head as if she had no control over them. What was the point? Even though she hadn't expected to even find someone sexually attractive again, not for a long time, she knew that it didn't mean anything. She had rationalized that there was no point wasting time and energy on that part of her life. She wasn't ready, and furthermore, thinking about _Nathan_ in that way was pointless. He was Nathan Scott. He belonged with the poised and polished of the world - the Daytona's of the world. Haley was simply going to ignore the still-crazy part of her brain that replayed their kisses over and over, and made her eyes linger on his shirtless body after he worked out. After all, she wasn't going to be in Charlotte for much longer and she was confident that her feelings would dissipate once she was no longer seeing him every day.

They simply had to.

"What are you doing home so early?" Haley asked, desperate to stop her mind wandering and to take the attention off how prominent her blush must be against her already sun-warmed face.

Nathan groaned, tipping his head back to expose the column of his throat as he closed his eyes. "I just left... Clay doesn't get back from his scouting trip until tonight and I just had to get out of there... I... I... lost a prospective client to another agency. Clay really wanted me to sign him and he's going to be so mad when he finds out."

Haley frowned. "Don't worry about Clay, Nathan. He'd never get mad at you, he knows you would have tried your best."

"He's going to be a top 5 draft pick, talented as hell... and even cockier," Nathan continued, as if Haley hadn't even spoken. "Clay believed in me... this kid, he's got great potential and I think he's going to get screwed over by his new agent. It's just hard... I feel like the only thing I can bring as an agent is experience with being a player, you know? Clay told me it would be a real asset, really help me connect with players in a way other guys can't, but..." Nathan sighed again. "Sometimes it just reminds me that I'm a has-been, someone these young kids will never take seriously. These kids are just starting their amazing lives and mine is over... I just feel so useless sometimes."

Haley's heart twisted at the sight of Nathan's downcast eyes and the words that tumbled so easily from his lips. Seeing him lack so much confidence would never be something she could get used to. "You're not useless, Nathan. This is just one guy. He's probably so caught up in the excitement of the draft, getting wooed by agents. He's too young to even know what's good for him and you know how easy it is to follow the big money instead of making the smartest move. If he can't appreciate what you have to offer, Nathan, that's his problem. Don't make him one of yours. He'll probably realize he made the wrong decision very soon... and when he does, he's come crawling back to you because he'll know everything you told him was true. Because you're one of the good guys." Haley smiled up at him. "Don't let one person make you feel bad about something you're so good at, Nathan. You've signed so many players already and you haven't even been in the job a year."

Nathan returned her smile with a small one of his own. His cerulean blue eyes stared down at her for so long that Haley started to feel self-conscious, before he finally said, "I don't know how you do it, Hales, but you always just know exactly what to say to make me feel better... It's really nice knowing I have you to come home to. I think that's part of the reason I left work so early today. I'm glad you're here"

Haley instinctively bit her lip. Nathan's words were sweet and genuine, but made it that much harder to admit to him that she wouldn't be here in a week. She had no idea why it had become so difficult. How had they gotten to a point where, after four months, they enjoyed each other's company - relied on it, even? She was only meant to stay for two weeks.

"Actually... I... what are you... what are you doing?"

Her voice turned panicky as a light clinking sound interrupted her, and she turned to see Nathan's grey dress pants dropping to his ankles as he toed off his shoes and socks. She stared as his strong legs came into view, still incredibly pale from the winter months and lightly dusted with dark hairs.

"I'm going for a swim," came Nathan's nonchalant reply. "It's a beautiful day and I'm not at work, I may as well make use of my own swimming pool for once."

His last words were muffled as he lifted his light blue shirt over his head before dropping on the pile of clothes at his feet. Haley felt her tongue swell inside her mouth as his sculpted chest came into view, tapering down to his chiseled six-pack. Her eyes followed the trail of dark hair below his navel before it disappeared into the elastic waistband of his tight black boxer briefs.

The way her heart was beating had started to make Haley's chest hurt and she closed her eyes. She had never seen anything like Nathan's body - so perfectly defined, strong and broad. He was like a real life sculpture... one whose underwear was clinging perfectly to his rounded ass and...

"Whoa, that's cold!" Nathan's shout drew Haley's attention to the pool as he emerged from the water, sluicing it back from his raven black hair. She watched as clear droplets sparkled against his skin as they settled into the contours of his muscular shoulders. Nathan's grin was wide and happy, and through the sexually-derived haze in her head, Haley was pleased to see him smile.

With his lower half safely hidden under the rippling blue water, Haley smiled as he swum over to her, playful grin still in place. Her own smile dropped quickly after he asked, "Are you going to join me?"

"What?! No! Nathan, I don't even have a swimsuit," Haley tensed as he stood between her legs that were still dangling in the water, his cold hands lightly grazing her ankles.

"So? Mine's inside... that didn't stop me."

"Nathan Scott, don't you dare..." His grip on her lower legs got stronger and Haley tried to squirm away. He was so close to her, she could see the tiny droplets of water on each individual dark eyelash, and how the bright water of the pool was the same color of his eyes.

"Nathan!" she squealed again, but before Nathan could pull her any further, the loud ringtone of his iPhone sounded in the air. Immediately, Nathan dropped her legs, a look of worry replacing the previously playful smile on his face.

"Can you see who that is? It might be Clay."

Although it was sad to see the way Nathan's face fell, Haley breathed a sigh of relief to have avoided being pulled into the pool by a very sexy, very nearly-naked Nathan. She leaned over to retrieve the phone from the pocket of his pants, smiling at the sight of the name on the illuminated screen. "It's your mom."

"Really? Can you hit speaker for me? I don't think my phone is going to enjoy a swim as much as I am."

Obligingly, she tapped the screen and carefully placed the phone onto the ground

"Hey, Mom. What's up?"

"NATHAN ROYAL SCOTT!"

Haley jumped at the volume of Deb Scott's voice, blaring out of the speaker. Beside her, Nathan did too, sending a small splash of cold water into Haley's legs.

"Don't 'hey, Mom' me, young man," Deb continued. "What's up? What do you _think_ is up? I can't believe I have to hear the news from Susan Edwards, of all people! My only son, and I have to hear through _that_ idiot? You know how smug she can get, can you imagine her face when I had no idea what she was talking about? Can you imagine how foolish I felt hearing something as important as this from _her_?! I didn't believe her at first but then Shari Smith told me that Tim had mentioned you had a girl from high school living with you and Jeff Bush at the center has a daughter who has a friend who works at Tric and said she saw you two all over each other, which was only news because Jeff is a huge basketball fan and his daughter and all her friends like you so they immediately knew who you were when they saw you and couldn't believe..."

"Mom!" Nathan exclaimed, the frustration evident in his voice. "Mom, what are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?" Deb repeated, incredulously. "I'm talking about you getting _engaged,_ to _Haley James_ and not even telling me! Me! Your own mother! I mean I know we've had our struggles, Nathan, but I thought we had gotten much closer in the last year... I didn't even know you had seen Haley since graduation, let alone get engaged! Not that I'm not over the moon, you know I think so highly of her, that girl got you through high school, but I'm just so surprised! And Susan said this happened a month ago! Why didn't you tell me? I mean I know you wanted to settle down since you stopped playing basketball, but were you planning on running away and getting married without telling me?"

"Edwards," Nathan muttered quietly to himself. "Dammit, Teresa Edwards, of course."

Haley pressed her lips together in a feeble attempt to stifle her laughter. Nathan had gone red in the face as the two worked out what Deb had been talking about.

"Mom," he spoke louder this time. "Mom, I wasn't..."

"How long have you been together? You certainly didn't mention anything at Christmas about seeing anyone, and I know you think Lucas takes your side, Nathan, but I know he would have told me..."

"Mom!"

"Hey, Mrs Scott," Haley spoke up, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice as her roommate got more and more frustrated. It was comical, really. "I think what Nathan is trying to say..."

"Oh my God, Haley, is that you?! Oh I can't believe it, I'm so happy for you both! I was just telling Nathan I have no idea why he felt like he needed to hide it from me. I'm so thrilled he's found someone... I know how cranky he can get, and he's stubborn to a fault - he gets that from his father..."

"Mom..."

"And I know he drinks too much when things get tough, and I'm sorry, Haley, he gets that one from me, but he's such a sweet boy deep down, and I'm so glad he's found someone who sees that, too."

By this stage, Nathan had rested his elbows on the edge of the pool, holding his head in his hands. Still giggling to herself, Haley leaned over to pat his bare back reassuringly. He lifted his head to glare at her, which caused her to giggle harder.

"I know he's been looking for someone to settle down with and the fact that it's you makes me so happy... It's just been such a shock, please don't think I'm anything less than thrilled for the both of you. I've always wanted a daughter! Oh, Haley, I can't wait to come and see you both. Have you set a date yet? Have you looked at dresses?"

"Mrs Scott," Haley took the rare occurrence of Deb pausing to take a breath to interject, knowing that it wouldn't be long before Nathan lost his temper. "Mrs Scott, please stop... we're not engaged."

There was a long silence on the end of the phone, which seemed to stretch on for a minute. Nathan took the chance to add, "It's true, Mom. We're not engaged. It's all a misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding? How can it be a misunderstanding? You told Teresa Edwards you were engaged... she saw the ring... she said... she said Haley said..." Deb trailed off, and the grin quickly dropped off Haley's face. She knew exactly what she had told Teresa, and what had been clearly fed through a chain of gossip straight to Deb's ears. She had no idea what she had been thinking when she made that comment about the size of Nathan's... shoes... but this, she certainly hadn't expected.

"I, uh..." Haley stammered. "Um, that all happened, Mrs Scott, but it's not real... Teresa was... being a little annoying towards Nathan, so we pretended to be engaged to get her to back off. We're not actually engaged, we're not even a couple. It was just a joke."

"A joke..." Deb repeated, dumbly.

"I'm so sorry... I didn't expect her to repeat it, or tell her mother. I'm really sorry, Mrs Scott."

"It's true, Mom," Nathan finally spoke up. "Teresa was all over me and I couldn't get away. Haley was helping me. The ring was Peyton's."

There was another long silence, as Nathan and Haley stared at the black iPhone between them. "I don't understand," Deb spoke up at last. "If you're not together, then what about that comment about... about the size of..."

"It was just something dumb I said," Haley interrupted, quickly, her cheeks reaching unparalleled shades of red as she spread her hands out in front of her in self-defense. This time it was her turn to glare at Nathan as he threw his head back to laugh silently at her mortification. "I don't know why I said it, it was stupid of me, but I promise, Mrs Scott, we're definitely not together. Nathan's actually been the one to help me - I needed somewhere to stay and Lucas was on his book tour so he asked Nathan, and Nathan has kindly let me stay here."

Haley was finding the silences nerve-wracking. "Well..." A loud sigh came through the speaker. "Well, that's a huge disappointment."

"Mom..."

"Oh, Nathan, you can't blame me, can you? All a mother wants for her little boy is for him to settle down and fall in love. With everything that you've been through in your life, in this last year, sue me for thinking that you deserved some happiness."

Haley watched as Nathan's face flooded with color, something she had rarely seen before, as he stared at the phone.

"I am happy, Mom," he mumbled, embarrassment evident in his voice.

Wanting to give mother and son some privacy, Haley lifted her legs out of the pool and stood up, gently shaking the excess water off her skin as she realized she hadn't brought a towel out with her. Knowing Nathan would need one, she vaguely gesticulated her intentions to her roommate as she turned to head inside.

"Look, Nate, I spoke to Cooper the other day... he said he'd caught up with Daytona a few weeks ago when she was visiting her father..."

Haley let out a deep breath, closing her eyes and resting against the wall once she was safely inside the house. Something about Deb's tone, and Nathan's response had hit Haley's heart; she'd often forgotten the magnitude of what her roommate had gone through a year ago - possibly because most of the time, Nathan acted as if nothing had happened. He was still so revered in the community, still such a role model. She was reminded of how he had found a different life for himself and was now just waiting for the right person to come along and complete it. Despite the stories she'd heard about his drinking and behaviour following his accident, the fact that he was able to move past that was impressive and admirable.

All she was doing by staying in Charlotte, she knew, was delaying Nathan's happy ever after. The one he had worked so hard for, deserved so much. He didn't need her hanging around, fantasizing about him, getting in the way of him going on dates and meeting someone he could settle down with. Deb's mention of Daytona reinforced the idea of the sort of woman Nathan needed to be with, and Haley knew she had no excuse for putting off telling him her plans to move on with her life and let him live his.

By the time she had dried herself off and grabbed a towel for Nathan, it looked as if he wrapping up his conversation with Deb. He smiled at her as she joined him outside, mouthing his thanks as handed him the towel.

"Yes, Mom, I know... yes, we're still on for your visit for my birthday next month. Of course I'll call if there's anything exciting to tell you before then," he looked up, rolling his eyes jokingly at Haley. She missed the creases of his frown that filled his face as she averted her eyes from his, pretending to be busy drying off an imaginary droplet of water on her foot.

"Sure Mom... I love you, too. Bye."

"Well..." Nathan laughed, carefully drying the stray drops off his phone. "Can't say I was expecting to have to explain our pretend engagement to my Mom today... might make talking to Clay later a piece of cake."

Haley managed a half-hearted smile, but she knew it was enough for Nathan to tell her mind was elsewhere.

"Hales? Everything ok?"

It was no big deal, she reminded herself. This is what she'd always planned to do - find a job and a place to live and move back to her home town. The fact that everything fell into place and then some was just a bonus. It was something to celebrate, finally something going her way after a long, painful year of heartbreak and loss. Just tell him.

"Hales?"

"I'm leaving, Nathan." Haley blurted out, finally meeting his concerned gaze. "Next week. I'm moving back to Tree Hill."

* * *

 **Dun dun dunnn... Sorry, I couldn't help but leave this chapter this way. It took me so long to write and I needed to get it out there so I could move on to chapter 30 (SPOILER ALERT: featuring Haley's plans and someone's declaration of their feelings...)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Wow. You guys are so incredibly kind with your reviews and I love reading them so, so much. Thank you! Yes, Nathan was meant to throw Haley in the pool and they were meant to have an amazing, sexually-charged moment of frolicking, but as I said before, that last chapter just took on a life of its own and went all over the place. Sorry about that.**

 **I leave for a holiday in less than a week and I promise I will post something before I go. I actually have a Christmas-themed one-shot in the works, but there's no way that I can finish that and post it, as well as the next chapter of Lights in 6 days (especially with the hell of a week that I have facing me). I assume that after you guys finish reading this chapter, you'll want the next one sooner rather than later, so I'll focus on that and promise to have the one-shot (without the Christmas theme) posted at some point.**

 **I'm super nervous about this chapter. You all know what it's building up to and I so desperately want it to deliver. This has lived in my head pretty much since I first started thinking about this story, over a year ago, and it's exciting and somewhat terrifying to finally get it out into the world. Please, please, please let me know what you think and I promise you won't have to wait long to see what's next.**

"What the fuck, Peyton? I thought we were friends!"

"We are friends, Nate! But what was I supposed to do? Not tell her?"

"You didn't have to hand her a reason to move back to Tree Hill!" Nathan roared into the phone. "You didn't have to give her a once in a lifetime opportunity and then a job offer and a fucking place to live!"

"Ok, first of all? The opportunity didn't come from me. I was merely the messenger. The job offer didn't come from me, either - not really. I just offered her some work to supplement the job offer, so she can afford to live. And the house is a rental, I drove past it and thought if she wasn't going to live at her parents' old house then this would be a good _temporary_ \- " Peyton stressed the world - "option for her."

"Nate..." Peyton's voice sounded weary; it wasn't the first time she had gone toe to toe with him, he knew, but she was older now. And wiser. "'I'm happy to let you yell at me if it'll make you feel better right now, but I know you're not mad at me for telling her and giving her a chance of happiness... after all, you're the guy that bought her her parents' house and she doesn't even know yet."

Nathan's heavy sigh sounded as a loud rush of static against the phone, as all the anger inside of him dissipated with the air. He rubbed his hand tiredly against his eyes before propping his arm against his desk to support his head. "I know, Peyton, I know... I just... I wanted to be the one to make her happy."

The two friends sat in silence - Nathan at his desk at work, Peyton at hers in Tree Hill. Their phone call had been the first thing Nathan did when he arrived that morning; admittedly taking his anger out on his ex girlfriend wasn't his smartest idea, but he was going crazy without having someone to vent to.

It had been a couple of days since Haley had told him that she was moving back to Tree Hill, and spending the weekend with her, pretending he was happy and everything was fine, had just about killed him. He knew how ridiculous it was, feeling this way about her leaving. He had hardly heard the words that had come out of Haley's mouth as they stood by the pool, yet at the same time they continued to reverberate loudly inside his skull.

 _"Someone recorded my performance at Tric and put it online... Mia Catalano saw it and apparently she loves my voice. She wants... she wants me to go on tour with her..."_

 _"A tour?" Nathan repeated, dumbly. "Like, singing and stuff?"_

 _Haley giggled at Nathan's inarticulateness. "Yes, like singing and a real piano onstage and a guitar... Mia said that I can use her band for my performances as well. It's incredible, it's her first headline tour but there's so much buzz about her after she released her album..."_

 _"I don't get it..." Nathan's head was swimming so much, he felt like pulling his brain out and dropping it into the sparkling pool beside them. "I thought you didn't want that life, being a professional musician and touring and stuff. You said so yourself, when we were at Peyton's studio."_

 _"I know I said that and I still don't want to do that for a living but... oh, Nathan, when I performed at Tric? It was such a rush! I've never felt so alive, seeing people enjoy my music, the people that came up to me and said they could relate to the words. It felt... I can't even describe it. I don't want to be a professional musician, but going on one tour with a great artist? How can I turn that down? Six weeks around the country, it'll be an incredible opportunity."_

 _Nathan felt Haley's last sentence wrap a cloak of hope around his shoulders. "Six weeks? The tour is for six weeks?"_

 _As Haley nodded, a tentative smile stretching her lips upwards. " Yeah... we leave in two weeks but I need to get back to Tree Hill so I have time to put together a set list and rehearse with the band... and we get back in time just for the new school year at Tree Hill High."_

 _"I don't understand... what's THH got to do with anything?" Nathan frowned._

 _Haley's smile stretched wider. "I have a job there! Principal Turner called me last week and offered me a teaching position. Remember that creative writing class he was telling us about?"_

 _Nathan hadn't listened to a word Principal Turner had said to them when he caught them in the gym last month, but he nodded dumbly as she continued. "I told him that we had a similar curriculum at my old school that I taught at and he's offered me the job at THH! It's only part time, because it's not a full English class, but I'm so excited and I'm going to see if Lucas will come down and be a guest speaker and Peyton said she can give me some work producing in the studio, which will give me enough to cover my new rental and..."_

 _"Wait, wait, wait..." Nathan shook his head, cutting Haley's rambling short. His brief glimmer of hope, that Haley would be away for six weeks and then return to Charlotte, disappeared like sun behind the clouds. He stood up from where he had been sitting at the side of the pool, quickly wrapping the towel she had handed him around his waist when he remembered that he had dived in wearing just his boxer briefs. "You have a job in Tree Hill?_

 _Haley nodded. "Yeah, can you believe it? I honestly never thought I'd teach again, Nathan, but after tutoring at the youth center, I just ... I feel like myself again."_

 _Haley's smile was beautiful, but Nathan couldn't focus on that right now; there was something more pressing on his mind. "And Lucas knows about this? And Peyton?"_

 _"No... well I haven't had the time to talk to Lucas, but Peyton was the one who told me about Mia. She's helped make all this possible."_

 _Nathan had often thought about the night he had thrown Damien West through a window, but never before had he felt the pain that West must have experienced as the shard of glass pierced his back. The betrayal and loss hit Nathan hard._

 _"Peyton..." he muttered to himself, bitterly, as Haley chattered on with growing confidence about her upcoming new life in their old home town._

"Nathan, listen to me..." Peyton's voice pulled Nathan out of the past and into the present. "I've been where Haley is now. I've had the same loss, the same denial... I found my way to Jake, didn't I? The only reason I told Haley about the tour and offered her some work is because I know it's what she needs to realise that this life she thinks she wants won't be enough. She'll get there, Nathan, I promise.

Nathan sighed heavily. "It's like you always say, right Peyton? People always leave."

Peyton's sigh was much quieter than Nathan's, but he still heard it through the phone. "Yeah, but Nathan? Sometimes they come back..."

* * *

"Hey buddy."

Nathan heaved a sigh, not even bothering to look at up the sound of his business partner's voice. He hadn't spoken to Clay all weekend, and after Haley had dropped her bombshell news that she would be leaving, Nathan hadn't thought about work even once.

"Look, I heard the news... I'm really sorry, man."

Nathan remained silent as the other man moved to stand in front of his desk. "Look, you know what they say - there's plenty more fish in the sea, right? Plenty more unsigned players in the draft."

At the analogy, Nathan clenched his jaw in anger. "Shut up, Clay."

"Hey, look," Clay held his hands up in self-defense. "I know you're gutted; I would be too. I thought you two would be a good match, but it didn't work out. Don't beat yourself up over it, Nate."

Nathan felt too tired to hold any anger towards his friend and partner. He sighed, rubbing a hand wearily across his face. "I just can't move on like that, Clay. It's too hard. And now I'll never get the chance to say how I feel... and even if I did, it's too late. There's no point."

Clay's sizable eyebrows drew together. "What else is there left to say? The guy's a dick. Sure, he's like a mini-you, but even you had the sense to pick the right agent for the right reasons, rather than just the money."

"Clay... what are you talking about?" Nathan's face mirrored Clay's confusion as he became aware that they weren't talking about the same thing.

"I'm talking about that guy, the Top 5 draft pick who signed with those jerks from Sports Agents Limited on Friday. I mean what sort of pathetic name for an agency is that, anyway? Where's the strength? Where's the creativity? ... Why? What you were talking about?"

Slumping in his chair, Nathan tipped his head back and signed. "I was talking about Haley. She's leaving on Friday. She's off to join a music tour for the summer and conveniently gets back in time to start her brand new job at Tree Hill High..."

"Oh. Whoah, Nate... I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"Quinn didn't tell you? I figured she would know by now."

Clay shrugged. "I don't know; I got back really late on Friday and we haven't really talked that much..." The way he trailed off with the sickeningly happy look on his face told Nathan more than he needed to know about his relationship.

"So she's really leaving? And you still haven't told her how you feel?"

"What would be the point, Clay? Everyone has made it pretty clear that Haley isn't ready for what I want from her. And for awhile, I was ok with that... I figured she'd start feeling better and maybe get to a point where she'd consider a relationship with me. Until then, I'd just enjoy her friendship and her company. But now... well it's pretty clear that I play no part in her future."

"Hey," Clay protested. "Where's that fighting spirit that I know and love? Where's that guy who knows what he wants and fights like hell for it? You're just going to give up?"

"Clay, I..."

"Come on, Nathan. What's the name of this agency?"

"Fortitude, but.."

"And what does Fortitude mean?"

"Courage in the face of pain or adversity," Nathan intoned. "But..."

"No buts, Nate, apart from that sweet one on that girl of yours," Clay grinned wickedly as Nathan felt a bolt of fire through his veins and he glared angrily at the man opposite him. "It's not over until it's over. Where's that self-belief? You're Nathan Scott and you have too much to lose."

Nathan stared into the blue eyes of the man who had stood by him and supported him through the toughest times of his adult life, before his gaze slid to the ever familiar handwriting on the faded and creased pale purple note stuck to his computer screen.

"You know what, Clay? For once, you might have a point. I might not be able to get her to stay with me, but I can't let her go without telling her how I feel."

"That's the spirit!" Clay clapped his hands, loudly. "Now get out of here and show me some of that sexy Nathan Scott magic."

* * *

Haley pressed the button on her key ring, hearing the satisfying beep as the car locked. She was going to miss the little red sports car when she left Charlotte; it expensive and flashy, the complete opposite to something she would normally have, but it was easy to drive and great to park. It had grown on her over the last four months.

Noticing Nathan's black Range Rover parked in the drive, Haley frowned to herself, not expecting to see him home until later - despite it being her last day before moving back to Tree Hill. She knew how busy he had been at work, especially with the NBA draft a week away, but she couldn't help but feel that he was distancing himself from her slightly. She supposed it was only natural for someone who had been forced to share his house for such a long time to want some space, but she couldn't deny the pang in her chest when she knew their time together was coming to an end and he hadn't wanted to spend as much of it as possible together, like she had.

"Nathan?"

"Out here," came his reply, and Haley followed the sound of his voice through the house and out into the backyard where her roommate - for one last night - was standing in front of a sizzling BBQ.

"Haley James," Nathan greeted her and when he looked up, his jaw dropped. "Whoah..."

Haley bit her lip and glanced down, hoping the blush she felt on her cheeks wasn't too visible. Nathan had gotten into the habit of using her full name as a sort of nickname, and she couldn't help but admit that she loved it. There was something endearing about him having his own nickname for her, even if it was her actual name.

When she looked up, Nathan was still staring at her, a stunned look over his face. "You're not saying anything...you don't like it?" she asked, hesitantly, running a hand tentatively through her newly dyed and cut hair. She had been walking past a salon when the idea for a change hit her. When the stylist had revealed her chocolate brown locks, Haley felt she wanted an even bigger change, prompting her hair to be chopped from the middle of her back to sitting just on her shoulders.

"What?" Nathan started. "Oh, no, not at all... I mean, no, that's not why I'm not saying anything. Yes, I do like it. It's... you look..."

Her grip on her lower lip got stronger as she waited waited for Nathan to complete his sentence. It was silly, she knew, to care about what he thought about her new look, since she had gotten it with her new change in lifestyle in mind, but she couldn't help but admit that his opinion mattered to her.

As if sensing that he was on the way to saying the wrong thing, Nathan cleared his throat and appeared to gather himself with a deep breath. "You look beautiful, Haley. Truly."

She had no hope of trying to hide the blush this time, the sincerity in his voice was evident. "Thank you... what are you doing?"

"Well, I figured you shouldn't have to cook on your last night here, so I thought I'd cook a Nathan Scott special."

Haley smiled at the thick slabs of meat that was sizzling on the BBQ. "Prime Rib."

"Yeah... I should probably learn to cook, shouldn't I? I've been spoilt having you here."

"I'll leave you some recipes."

"That'd be nice," Nathan grinned at her. Carefully closing the lid of the BBQ, he dusted off his hands and his grin got wider. "I've got a present for you."

"For me? Why?"

He shrugged, leading the way around the back of the house and towards the living room. "Because. You're feeling like your old self. And you're going on a huge nationwide music tour. What's not to celebrate?"

Nathan walked through the doorway and stood back. Haley didn't need to look for long to see what had changed about the large living space, and judging by the grin on Nathan's face, she knew that it was the present he had been referring to. A myriad of conflicting emotions swirled inside her brain as she stared at him.

"Nathan... what is this?"

"Well, if you're asking me that, then you're probably going to find your tour quite difficult..." he chuckled.

The amusement on his face and in his voice sparked a fuse inside of Haley. She clenched her jaw together tightly, her nostrils flaring as she expelled a breath through her nose. "I know what a piano is, Nathan. I'm asking what one is doing in your house."

The glossy black instrument dominated one corner of the wide open space on a slightly raised area that Haley knew previously housed a couple of chairs that Nathan never used. As if he couldn't sense the tension in Haley's voice, Nathan grinned wider. "It's for you, Hales. I know you've missed having a piano so... here you are."

Incredulity washed over her; inching the spark further down the fuse of her temper. "Nathan... I'm moving to Tree Hill tomorrow."

"I know that."

"So I won't be able to play this piano," she felt as if she was talking to a child as Nathan continued to gaze at her as if it was perfectly normal to give someone a gift of this magnitude.

Nathan shrugged, nonchalantly. "We can get it moved. The company said they can transport it all over North Carolina."

"Nathan, pianos need to be tuned every time they're moved. They're not meant to be moved that often."

"The company sent a guy out to tune it already. It's all done - and if you move it to your parents' house, he'll come out and do it again." Nathan almost looked smug, and the fact that he seemed to have an answer for everything started to infuriate Haley.

"Nathan, I'm not going to be living at my parents' for very long, remember? It's just until Thanksgiving and then we'll put it on the market."

"Well..." Nathan hesitated. "You don't know that for sure. You might not sell at all. Then the piano can stay."

"Nathan, it is not ok to give someone something so expensive!" Haley finally yelled as the fuse ignited the anger inside of her. "You can't just go out and buy me a piano!"

"Come on, Hales..." Nathan started to look uncomfortable for the first time. "It's not even a full grand piano... it's just a baby grand."

With clenched fists, Haley raised her eyebrows somewhat sardonically. "Oh sure, _just_ a baby grand. Just, what? $30,000? Small change, right."

The nervous look on Nathan's face told her she may have underestimated her price, but he shrugged before she could say anything else. "Look, Hales, I just wanted to do something nice for you, ok? You want a piano, you have a piano. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because!" Haley shrieked. "Because you're not the multi-million dollar NBA player anymore, Nathan! And even then it's not ok to buy stuff like this for people! You can't just throw money at things and think that's acceptable!" Her voice was reaching decibels it had never reached before; Haley James wasn't someone who ever raised her voice.

Nathan simply met her outburst with laughter. "The money? Seriously, Hales? That's what you're worried about?" He scoffed. "Haley, it's not a problem. I have more money saved up than I can count, and I'm still earning an income and have some great investments. Money is not a problem," he repeated. "Look... to say you've been through a tough time is an understatement. I just wanted to do something nice for you. Something that will make you happy. It's why... it's why I bought your parents' house in Tree Hill..."

As his words penetrated her scrambled brain, Haley's eyes widened like basketballs. "Are you serious, Nathan?" She asked, her voice chillingly cold. "You bought the house even though I _specifically_ told you not to..."

"... I bought it before then," Nathan interrupted her, his voice considerably quieter. "I bought it after Drew came here. Well... I've paid a deposit for it. I'm meant to pay the rest this week, but Drew's still overseas for work..."

Haley nodded, dumbly; she'd been trying to reach Drew to talk about her idea for Thanksgiving. Thankfully, his wife had thought it was a wonderful idea and Vivian, who had been the only one who could ever get through to their eldest brother, loved the idea as well. It had helped that everyone had received some money from some insurance payout from their mother, which had eased a lot of financial burdens for all of them. Haley herself had been able to pay a couple of weeks' rent in advance on a small house that she had fallen in love with in Tree Hill, not far from where Peyton and Jake were now living, and a short walk from the high school where she would be working.

At the thought of the extra money, her eyes widened even further. "Oh my God... the money... there was no insurance payout, was there? That money was from you."

Nathan nodded his head, slowly. "Yeah, it was the deposit I paid for the house. It would help your brother and sister with some financial problems they were facing and me buying it meant that there was no pressure to sell anymore. You could have it for as long as you wanted."

"I just... I can't..." Haley spluttered, pacing the hard wood floor beneath her feet. Her anger had returned and she couldn't control it, regardless of how unreasonable she was being. She stopped to face Nathan, her hands on her hips, defiantly. "Nathan, why are you doing this?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OK?!" Nathan exploded at last, the volume of his voice far surpassing Haley's previous outburst as she jumped back in shock. "Because I'm _in_ love with you. Because you've been through hell and back and I would do anything to make you smile. Because that smile of yours is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole life. Because I love that you're the first person I see every morning, but I still want to wake up next to you. Because you believe that I'm a greater man than I'll ever be, but you make me want to try so damn hard to be that man. Because the fact that maybe I've played the smallest part in your recovery makes me prouder than the day I made the NBA and won Whitey the State Championship all rolled into one. Because I've never been happier than these last few months, having you live with me, especially now that you're feeling better. I love you, Haley James, ok? And it scares me a little bit... it scares me to death, actually, but there... there it is..."

Haley stared at him, unable to cope with the magnitude of shock that she felt. This beautiful man, this 6 foot 2 Adonis, loved her. The kindest, bravest, strongest man she had ever met, needed her as much as she needed him. He loved her. He was _in_ love with her.

She had the vague sensation that she was drowning, and it made her release the breath that she had been holding unknowingly, quickly sucking in another lungful. She felt the way her heart was thumping in her throat. Swallowing it down, she stared up at him in awe.

"Wow..." she breathed, quietly. "There it is."


	31. Chapter 31

"Wow, sounding good girly. New song?"

Haley looked up in surprise as the tall record label owner entered the studio. Peyton smiled at her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, that's fine... how long were you listening?"

"Long enough to know that you've written another incredible song. If you were on my label, I'd be a rich woman, Foxy."

Haley huffed a breath out through her nose in response. "It doesn't even have lyrics, Peyton."

Peyton shrugged. "So? People love a good instrumental hit."

Haley gave her a look to indicate that she wasn't up to joking, and Peyton came around to sit next to her on the long piano bench - a position they'd found themselves in often over the past few days. Wrapping a supportive arm around Haley's shoulders, she said, "What's on your mind, Foxy?"

"Orwhois on your mind," piped up a second voice, and the two women looked up to see Mia Catalano enter the studio. The singer and songwriter was younger than Haley and Peyton, but Haley had warmed to the talented woman immediately. She was sweet and funny, always ready to try and lighten the tense atmosphere that Haley had brought with her to Tree Hill.

"Isn't that obvious?"

Haley sighed helplessly. Her body felt weary and tired, her eyes gritty against drooping lids. She felt like she had barely slept in the past week, and for the first time the loss of her parents hadn't been the thoughts keeping her up at night.

"You know, when I'm struggling with what I'm feeling, I try to put it into a song," Mia suggested, kindly.

Haley shook her head. "Trust me, I've been trying but I can't even do that. I feel like my brain has just shut down. It's all... it's all too much."

"What's too much?" asked Peyton.

"Everything! I was so happy when I started feeling like myself again and since then... maybe I've rushed things, maybe it's all just too much? The tour, this job..."

"...Nathan," Peyton finished for her.

Blowing out another breath, Haley closed her eyes. Just like at night time, a certain pair of azure blue eyes appeared behind her eyelids, short-circuiting her brain. It was like a trigger to the off switch of her thoughts; her brain wasn't capable of processing anything and she wondered if she was in some kind of shock. She desperately needed to think, but the thoughts wouldn't come.

"I just wish I could turn back time."

A quiet strum of a guitar chord sounded in the corner. "If I could turn back time... If I could find a way..." Mia shook her dark head of hair. "No, I think those lyrics are taken."

Shaking her head, Peyton gave Haley a half-smile. "And if you could turn back time? What would you have done differently?"

"I don't know..." Haley admitted with another heavy sigh. "But at least I wouldn't have run away."

"He told me he loved me and I ran away... looking back now, I wish I had stayed..." Mia hummed quietly as she picked out another chord. "He's got blue eyes and dark hair on his head, he's got a killer body and he's amazing in bed..."

The young singer looked up to see two pairs of eyes staring at her. "What? I looked him up on Wikipedia."

"Mia, that last part isnoton Wikipedia," Peyton scolded.

Mia grinned wickedly. "Oh yeah, that's right... care to be the 'citation needed' on that one, Peyton?"

Peyton gave her a dirty look, but Haley barely heard the words around her. All she could think about was Nathan's declaration of love a week ago; the way he had yelled at her, the words he had said, how tired and helpless he seemed at the end of it.

How she had stood there in shock, mumbling something incomprehensible before turning and running to her room.

Most of her belongings had already been packed, ready for her flight the following day. It hadn't taken her long to throw the last of her things in the small bag she had brought with her to Charlotte and by the time she had done so, she'd heard the click of Nathan's bedroom door shutting. He hadn't heard her race down the stairs again, but she was sure he would have heard the engine of his little red sports car as she tore out of the driveway. Three hours later, she'd found herself in Tree Hill, wide-eyed and incoherent at Peyton and Jake's door. A week had passed since then.

"Haley," Peyton pulled her away from her memories. "You can't take back the fact that you ran away, but you know... you can go back. At least talk to him."

"But what would I say?"

"Thank you for buying me a house?" Mia suggested. At another one of Peyton's glares, the singer raised her hands up in self-defense. "Look, Hales, I'm sorry but I'm really struggling to see what's wrong here. An amazing guyloves you. He took care of you when you needed someone the most, he bought you your parents' house even though he wanted you stay with him in Charlotte, he bought you a grand piano..."

"It's just a baby grand," Haley mumbled quietly, echoing Nathan's own words to her.

"A _baby_ grand," Mia corrected, pointedly. "Hales, this guy is so in love with you - what's there to run away from?"

Unwanted tears sprung to Haley's eyes. Mia's words simply highlighted how horrible she had been feeling for the past week, simply echoing the taunting voice inside her head that mocked her for being so scared and afraid of Nathan's declaration of love.

"Is he really in love with me though?"

Even though her voice was barely a whisper, Mia still heard her. "Well, if he's not, I'd love to see what he buys people he is in love with."

"Mia! You're not helping!" Peyton reprimanded the young singer. Turning to Haley, she raised her eyebrows. "You don't really need to ask that, do you?"

"I don't know," Haley confessed, her voice still a whisper. She felt a heavy pressure in her chest. "I just... I just don't get it. He said he's been looking for someone to settle down and get serious with. He's become this incredible man, he could choose anyone... whyme?"

"Come on, Haley, didn't we have this conversation in this same studio just last month?"

Mute, Haley simply shook her head.

"Haley... that man has been in love with you before he knew what love was. You were the first person to ever get through to him, to ever believe in him, to make him feel worthy but want to be better at the same time. You living with him these last few months has just given him the chance to work out what that feeling was to him. While you were feeling weak and broken, he was seeing you be brave and strong. You were just so busy feeling like you were a burden on him that you didn't see that he was actually falling in love.

"I know how scary this can all be for you," Peyton continued, knowledgeably. "Trust me, I spent nearly a year running away from my heart when it told me I needed to be with Jake. But you have to listen to yours, Haley. Forget the things that your thinks you want, the things that make a good life. A job? A house? None of that means anything if you're not with the person you love. So the question is... how do you feel about Nathan?"

Those blue eyes were back again, sparkling at her from behind her closed eyelids. Haley could easily conjure up Nathan lounging on his couch, huge feet up on his coffee table as he listened to her talk or made her smile. Like the clouds lifting, Haley's previously empty brain became flooded with thoughts of her former roommate - encouraging her to go running, getting her into tutoring at the youth center, talking for three hours on the phone when she was alone in Tree Hill, the bottle of shampoo waiting by her bedroom door, encouraging her to perform at Tric, publicly humiliating himself by singing karaoke with her, her note from tutoring stuck to his computer screen, pretending to be her boyfriend in front of Chris, throwing Drew out of his house...

Buying her parents' house for her.

Haley stared at Peyton, her eyes widening as if she was finally seeing clearly for the first time. The fog in her head had lifted, allowing the dazzling warmth of sunlight in.

"Oh my God..."

She stood up so fast, her blonde friend nearly flew off the piano seat. Hurrying out of the studio and into the adjoining room to grab her purse, she heard Peyton call out, "Haley! Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to my mom!"

* * *

Grass had just started to grow over the large rectangular patch that was Jimmy and Lydia James' final resting place. The black headstone was covered in a thin layer of dust and a small posy of flowers that Haley had last brought them had long succumbed to the elements.

When she lived in Tree Hill, she had spent hours sitting on the grass beside her parents' headstone; tears pricked at Haley's eyes when she thought how long it had been since her last visit.

"I'm sorry, Mom... Dad... I know it's a been a long time," she whispered, folding her legs beneath her as she found her usual spot on the ground. "I guess you know I've been living in Charlotte... that Nathan has been looking after me. Things weren't going so well and Luke thought I needed to get away. Well, I guess you know all that, right? Quinny is there, too. She's so happy. Clay's a good guy; I thought she was crazy for leaving David, I thought she had everything she needed with him but guess it goes to show how little I know, right? Especially about being in love...

"I always thought that when I fell in love for the first time, that you'd be here. I didn't know how confusing and complicated it would be, how much I would need your advice. I thought love would be so easy - it always was between you two.

"I mean, being in love is so easy that i didn't even know I was falling in love. Loving Nathan is easy, he makes it so easy to love him. I know, Daddy, I know... I'm in love with Nathan Scott. Wow, it sounds crazy saying it out loud... but it's true. I'm in love with Nathan Scott. It's just everything else that's so hard. I'm so scared I'm not enough for him. I'm scared he puts me on a pedestal and I'm not who he thinks I am. I'm scared... I'm scared that he'll leave, that I'll be alone... again."

Shaking her head at the memories that flooded her head, Haley continued. "I was the one that left. He told me he loved me and I ran away. It's just... I didn't run away fromhim,I ran away from everything. I finally have everything I thought I wanted and it's all too much, too soon. And the truth is... I could do without the music or the job or even the house as long as I have Nathan. I'm just so scared it's too late to go back to him, that he won't believe me if I tell him how I feel."

Haley heaved a sigh that melted into the soft rustle of the trees around her.

"I want to think that I know what you'd say to me, what advice you'd have, but the truth is that I don't know anymore. I'm never going to know for sure what you'd say - although I guess it was always like that, wasn't it? You guys were always surprising me... I know I have to get used to it, but it still hurts so much when I remember I'll never hear your words of advice or comfort again, feel your hugs and your love... I just have to trust in myself now. I have to believe in myself... And like you've told me, that's half the battle."

Determinedly, Haley stood up and dusted off the back of her jeans, before squatting back down so she was eye level with the marble headstone. "I know you'll understand if I don't come back for awhile. If I don't, you'll know I've done the right thing. You'll know that it all worked out and that I'm happy... and in love. Because, Mom and Dad, I am so in love with him.

"I just have to tell Nathan."

* * *

Nathan stood in the darkest corner of the noisy bar, with only the faintest edge of an overhead light catching the top of his forehead. He wasn't easy to find in the crowded room, and that's how he wanted it. The green glass bottle he held in his hand had been emptied over an hour ago, but he had no desire to replace it with a full one, to reveal his hiding place and risk one of the many over excited crowd finding him.

Car headlights whizzing past the glass front of the bar illuminated the splatter of rain on the windows, and how it beat down heavily as the predicted storm started rolling in. Nathan didn't want to be here, but he had a job to do.

"Nate! There you are!"

Nathan didn't even try to hide the groan when Clay strode confidently towards him, slinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling him away from the edge of the room.

"You did this, buddy. You made all of this happen," Clay announced proudly, the hand that wasn't around Nathan gesticulating around the busy room. "Your first draft and you have two first-round picks. I couldn't be more proud of you. This is a big day, for all of us."

Nathan's eyes took in their surroundings; Two of his new clients had gone in the first round of the NBA draft, which had been announced just a few hours previously. Clay had one client who had gone in the draft, too. Fortitude was holding a small party for friends and families of the players and the celebrations had gotten noisy and boisterous.

"You've made these guys' lives, Nate," Clay continued. "You've made them rich, you've made them famous, you've made their dreams come true... do you remember that feeling?"

Nathan closed his eyes. It didn't take long to conjure up an image from his own drafting. Surrounded by Lucas and his rookie agent Clay, hearing his name being called as tenth pick for the Seattle Sonics. Phone calls from former team mates and coaches. A long night that stretched into a long day, littered with faceless females and clinking bottles. An aching head and limbs. With the benefit of hindsight, Nathan could see how that night set the precedent for a meaningless life in the NBA with only Clay and Lucas having his best interest at heart. His father, trying to take credit for everything, his mom not sober enough to enter the bar to join in the celebrations.

Much to his embarrassment, when Nathan opened his eyes again, they were shining with unshed tears. For what, he wasn't sure - maybe for the loss of a time when he didn't give a damn what the consequences were, as long as he could play basketball. Maybe for monumental change in his life since that night, or, more likely, for the empty feeling that he had carried inside of him for the past week, the loss of the woman that had brought him everything. He blinked the tears back, but not before his former agent turned business partner caught them.

"Listen, Nate... You're a legend to these guys, a real hero. This is their night. You've got to put on a show for them, show them you're just as happy as they are and this is one of the best nights of your life, just like theirs. It's part of the job, whether you want to be here or not."

Nathan stared out, unseeing, towards the bar as Clay continued. "I know it's been hard for you since Haley left, man. I know how you feel, but..."

"Oh, you know how I feel?" Nathan spat, flinching at the name that had escaped Clay's lips. "Yeah, sure you do, Clay. You know exactly how I feel about the love of my life running away from me while you're playing house with Quinn..."

"I was going to say," Clay's voice was eerily calm and quiet, "that I know how you feel trying to work through a broken heart because I know how hard it was for when I buried Sara and just had to get back to work like nothing happened. But sure, Nate, you keep sulking. I'll go and celebrate with our clients and cover for you while you go home and drink yourself to sleep... again."

Without another word, Clay walked away, heading towards the crowded bar. Nathan sighed, tipping his head back in defeat. Clay hardly ever spoke about his late wife, it was a part of his life that he preferred to keep buried lest it erupted and interfered with his regular happy-go-lucky, ever optimistic demeanor. Nathan knew it would had been hard for him to bring her up - he himself had only learnt Sara had existed a year ago, after his accident when Clay had confided his darkest time when Nathan was going through his. Once again, Nathan Scott had proved what a dick he could be.

He pushed his way towards the bar to apologize, to find Clay dwarfed by Nathan's new signings. "Hey Nate, I was just telling the guys here how you haven't been able to shake that headache all day and you were heading home to rest." Clay's even blue gaze met Nathan's eyes, pushing through the apologetic look with a more pointed one. Nathan knew that Clay was saving him, making up an excuse for Nathan to leave before everyone noticed his attitude. His behavior wasn't a good look for the agency and, Nathan knew that Clay was right - this was a big day for his clients, if he couldn't suck it up and be happy on their behalf, he shouldn't be around to ruin it.

"Uh, yeah," Nathan mumbled as apologetically as he could. "I'm sorry, guys. I know what a huge night it is for you..."

"Don't sweat it, Nate," Devon Fox, now the newest small forward for the Boston Celtics, replied. "You've already done so much for us, man. You deserve a night off... means more ladies for us, right?"

Nathan forced out a small chuckle. "Thanks, man. Take care tonight, alright? Don't do anything stupid."

"Don't worry," Tony Battle chimed in. The wide, toothy grin hadn't come off his face since his name had been the eighth to be announced in the draft. "We won't do anything you wouldn't do."

The four men laughed at the joke, Clay and Nathan's notably more forced than the NBA rookies.

"I'll be in touch tomorrow," Nathan assured the players, but his eyes were on his business partner, making sure he could read between the lines and know that Nathan had every intention of allowing himself to wallow for one more night before getting back to business. "We've got a lot of work to do. But for now... enjoy."

Clay nodded, and Nathan knew that he got the message and it was safe to leave. Waving one last time, Nathan eased himself through the other bodies in the room and out into the pouring rain. He was soaked by the time he had crossed the street to where he had parked his car, thick rivulets of water running down the back of his neck and soaking through his shirt as he leaned back in the driver's seat. The rain was deafening as it beat against the car, drowning out the heavy thud as his fist collided with the steering wheel.

"Fuck!" Nathan swore.

He had to get himself together, he knew. Haley had left and it was up to him to keep going, not to let himself screw his life up even further, not now, when things were going so well. He had a great job, great friends... Didn't he think he was happy four months ago before Haley James walked back into his life? But thoughts like those were futile. Haley James had come into his life, had changed him once again, and his heart wanted to constantly remind him that things wouldn't be the same without him. Couldn't be as good.

Contrary to Clay's statement, Nathan hadn't been drinking himself to sleep. God, he had tried, but something inside of him reminded him that once he went down that path again, coming back wasn't an option. So he had spent the past week in some sort of numb limbo, going through the motions at work before returning to his empty house, trying as hard as he could to ignore the persistent voice in his head that taunted him - what had he expected, when he yelled at Haley that he loved her? He knew he was never going to be good enough for her, he'd known from the start that staying in Charlotte with him was never on the cards. But that small part inside of him that believed in hope, that believed in himself - the part that Haley herself had instilled in him - had imagined a different scenario. A scenario where Haley loved him back, where she wanted to be with him, where there was nowhere in the world she'd rather be than by his side.

But that world wasn't real. That wasn't the world he had woken up to each morning and she wasn't waiting for him at the end of each long, exhausting day. And that was that.

The fast, rhythmic thumping of the windscreen wipers made little effort to clear the relentless rain from Nathan's vision as he turned into his driveway. He didn't see the glossy red sports car filling its usual spot beside his Range Rover, the spot that had remained empty for the past week. As Nathan slipped out of the car and ran towards his house, half-heartedly pulling his leather jacket up to shield himself from further saturation, he didn't see the small figure sitting on the steps by his front door until he practically tripped over her. Even in the darkness, Nathan could see Haley's tears on her rain-splattered face. Her shorter, darker curls stuck to her cheeks and he belatedly wondered what she was doing there.

"Nathan!" She was yelling, but her voice barely carried to him, less than a foot away.

"What do you want, Haley?"

His own voice came out harsher than expected, and he saw by the way Haley visibly recoiled in surprise that she had heard him clearly through the overpowering sound of the rain. "What are you doing here? Did you forget something?"

He had turned towards his front door, trying to focus on stilling his hands that had started shaking at the sight of her, as he fumbled for the right key to let him into his own house. To get him away from the image of her sitting there that had caused the intense ache in his chest. He didn't see her stand up, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin.

"Yeah, Nathan. I did forget something."

"What? What could you have possibly forgotten?" He whirled around, keys in hand and a thousand emotions in his eyes. "You already took _everything_ with you to Tree Hill!"

"I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU, TOO!"

The rain hadn't let up, but Nathan heard nothing but the sound of their breathing. He couldn't feel his shirt sticking to his chest or the heavy, wet denim feel around his legs. Haley took a step closer, her features becoming clearer through the midnight blue light of the night. With another step, Nathan could see the raindrops dotting the tips of her eyelashes, the flush on her face, her plump, teeth-bitten lips.

"I love you, too, Nathan," she insisted. "I know I shouldn't have run away last week, but I was so scared. I was scared that I wouldn't be enough for you, I was scared that everything was happening too fast... I was scared of how I felt about you. But I'm not anymore, Nathan. I love you. You make me brave, you make me stronger than I could ever be on my own. You make me whole. I'm sick of feeling broken, but with you... I feel like I'm complete."

Nathan stared at the small figure in front of him, desperately trying to make sense of the words coming out of her mouth, desperately trying to believe them. "What... what about Tree Hill? The tour? The job?"

Haley shook her head, sending a sprinkling of rain out to join the deluge around them. "I don't need any of that, if I have you. Nathan... I know I should have stayed, or come back sooner, but I'm here now, Nathan, and if things have changed for you then I want you to know I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving, I'm not..."

Her words were swallowed up as Nathan took a step forward, closing the gap between their bodies and kissing her with an urgency that turned the tiny flicker in his heart into a roaring inferno as Haley's lips parted with his. The tears he felt earlier in his eyes spilled over, as if his body was purging itself of the hurt and the pain he had carried around for the last week, for his entire lifetime. He speared his hand through Haley's wet curls, holding her even closer, their wet clothes sticking together to create an unbreakable seal between their conjoined figures.

The applause of thunder went unheard by both of them. Moments later, lightening illuminated the two soaking wet figures entwined together on a porch in Charlotte, North Carolina, as if nature itself was celebrating two souls finally being reunited as one.

 **Merry Christmas to all of you amazing humans reading this! Hope you all had an incredible day filled with love, joy and great food xx Mel xx**


	32. Chapter 32

**Where do I start?! Since this is my first update for 2018 ... HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone! I hope you have all had an amazing start to the year. We're already three weeks in but I'm so excited for what's ahead. I'm really looking forward to eventually finishing Lights and unleashing some of the other stories I have in my brain, and there are so many incredible Naley stories out there at the moment to get lost in. It's going to be a great year!**

 **I apologize for the huge wait for an update for this story. I was away on holiday and didn't have a lot of time to write, and when I did, I was hit with really bad writer's block. This chapter isn't quite how I wanted it, but at this point I just can't get the words to come out right! I've had a few new readers/reviewers/favorites over the last few weeks and you all mean the world to me. I LOVE hearing from you and what you think about Lights; it blows me away, so thank you! Seriously, it's incredible.**

 **So, a quick recap since it's been ages: Nathan told Haley he's in love with her, she ran away, came to her senses, went back to Nathan and told him she loves him too, they make out in the rain. That's about it, I think!**

 **As always, the words I've taken from the show itself aren't mine. I hope no one is lactose intolerant, because this chapter is CHEEEEEEEESY as hell.**

The extraordinarily blue sky outside that filled the space in the window was Haley's first reminder that something was different. Considering the severity of the storm last night, something almost heaven-sent had to have happened for such a clear, cloudless sky to appear. It may have been something as simple as the two figures that stumbled into that room together, intertwined as one, were too preoccupied with one another to bother closing the blinds, but it might have been a sign that something more magical had happened. As if in celebration, Haley was sure that the birds were singing even louder than usual, like children on Christmas morning waking up to see what the day would bring, their little voices excited bursts of noisy chirping.

The second sign of change was Haley's pillow; it was firm and felt heated under her left cheek. It rose up and down, slowly and rhythmically, causing her neck to lift an inch or two each time. An arm extended from the edge of the pillow and ended in a large, warm hand that rested on the curve of Haley's rounded hip. As she gently raised herself up on one elbow, she drank in the sight before her: dark eyelashes falling onto slightly darkened under eye circles, covering irises of cerulean blue; a strong jaw shaded with black stubble; lips that looked dry and chafed after hour after hour of use the night before, slightly parted in sleep. As she stared, the lips that she had been focusing her attention on curved up on one side.

"I know I'm sexy, Hales, but don't you know that it's rude to stare?"

Even though he couldn't see it through his closed eyelids, Haley tried to hide the way her mouth wanted to erupt into a face-engulfing grin. "Oh... you think you're sexy, do you?"

Nathan's eyes popped open and two azure moons stared mischievously back at her. "Oh, I _know_ I'm sexy..."

Haley squealed as Nathan reached over, hauling her body over his. His fingers tangled with her shorter hair, pushing the strands back behind her ears so she could see him properly, before sliding down to the back of her neck to pull her closer. Their lips slid over each other's sweetly at first, before Nathan's tongue pushed through to tangle itself with Haley's. Haley couldn't hold back her moan, or the way her toes curled up as her tongue swept around Nathan's mouth, or even the way her hips pushed forward gently, to meet with Nathan's impressive morning erection. The sound of his sleep-roughened voice had set every neuron in her body on fire.

"Mmm..." Nathan sighed, when they eventually pulled away from each other, "Now _that_ was sexy."

This time, Haley didn't bother holding back her smile. "Is this what it's like?"

"What?"

"Is this what it's like to be happy?"

She watched as Nathan studied her, his eyes flickering around her face before he smiled back at her, seemingly satisfied with what he saw. "You're happy."

He said it like it was a discovery, in an awed yet satisfied way. It caused Haley's grin to widen; her cheeks were straining and her head was filled with the same giddiness she'd felt when Nathan had first kissed her in front of Chris.

"I am happy."

She knew it was clichéd, that it was something that girls she'd mock and make fun of would say, but Haley truly could get lost in Nathan's eyes. They were so unbelievably blue, and the way they were locked onto hers, seeing something that made his grin mirror her own, it was something she would never stop wanting to see.

"I love you."

Nathan's cocky smirk was firmly back in place, while his eyebrows rose. "I know... you sort of yelled that at me last night."

Laughing, Haley swatted Nathan's bare chest beneath her. "Hey! You yelled it at me first."

"Yeah, I did."

Haley felt her stomach flutter as Nathan's gaze turned searching again. His long fingers played with her hair, tucking and re-tucking the errant waves behind her ear.

"I mean it, too. I know I shouldn't have said it how I did, but God, I love you, Hales." Nathan's hands stilled as they cupped her face. "I love you so much. I'm sorry I didn't give you time, I'm sorry I made you run away but..."

"No, Nathan, no..." shifting off his body and back to her previous spot beside him, Haley took a deep breath before making her own attempt to push her hair off her face. "You didn't do anything wrong. Please don't apologize. It was all just so much, but that wasn't your fault. I was scared and confused... I couldn't understand how you could possibly love me after the mess I'd made of my life. I had these feelings for you but I couldn't imagine a world where they could be reciprocated. I just wanted to focus on getting a job and going back to Tree Hill because I thought being here, with you, meant that I was weak, that I couldn't manage on my own. But now I understand - I don't just need you, Nathan, I love you. I'm here now, where I'm supposed to be. It just took me a little longer to work that out."

Nathan sat up and Haley couldn't help but watch the thin sheet fall off his chest and settle around his waist. That broad, muscular body was right next to her, she had used it as a pillow all night and the fact that she could reach out and touch it any time she wanted was a heady feeling.

"Everyone told me that you wouldn't be ready. I knew it would be too much..."

The apologetic look on Nathan's face made Haley's chest hurt, but his words piqued her interest. "Everyone?"

"Jake, Peyton... even Luke knew that you wouldn't feel the same way about me. I just didn't want them to be right. I was happy hiding how I felt as long as I had you here, but when you were leaving, I just..." Nathan trailed off with a shrug.

"They all knew how you felt about me?" Haley asked, wondrously. The idea that Nathan even felt something more than friendship towards her was incredible enough; the idea that he had been in love with her for so long and that their friends knew was unfathomable.

Nathan nodded. "And they all told me not to say anything."

Haley smiled. She felt like sunshine was seeping into her veins. "I'm really, _really_ glad you did."

Leaning forward, she cupped Nathan's stubble-roughened jaw with her hands. "I love you, Nathan, and if you hadn't told me how you felt then it would have taken us a lot longer to get where we are now."

The vulnerability was evident in Nathan's eyes and Haley answered the unspoken question that she could see swirling amongst the blue. "We're here, together. I want to be with you, Nathan. I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

"Actually... I think you should..."

Haley sat upright as Nathan's words surprised her. He continued in a rush. "I think you should go on the tour, Hales... it's an incredible opportunity and I saw how you looked after you performed at Tric... You looked so happy, for the first time. You're so talented, Hales. You deserve to be heard, you deserve to feel that way all the time."

"Nathan..."

"Hales, listen to me. I know that feeling; I used to have that feeling. Being out on the court, feeling fearless, untouchable. No matter what a mess I was making of my life, on that court it all went away."

A slight pain shot through Haley as she chewed on her bottom lip. She couldn't deny how exhilarating it had been on stage, how the weight in her heart had lifted, how excited she had been at the prospect of touring with Mia.

"Yeah, but Nathan, I'm happy with _you_."

"Come on, Hales," Nathan shook his head. "I don't want to start a relationship off this way - stopping each other from following our dreams. You deserve this opportunity. It's not forever, it's only six weeks. We can make it work."

"What about your dreams?"

Nathan's eyes danced across her face. "My dream? He repeated. "She's right here... and I'm never letting go of her."

Haley felt her stomach somersault at the intense look on his face as he leaned in to capture her lips again. Her head swum and she clung onto the curve of Nathan's shoulder to keep her balance as they kissed. It was long and unhurried, and Haley rested her head against Nathan's forehead when it ended, slowly refilling her lungs with much-needed air.

"It's just for six weeks," Nathan repeated, gently. "It's not like you can teach over the summer when schools are out. And... I really need to pull my weight at work; Clay has been covering for me for too long and I owe him... I'll come out and see you as much as I can while you're on tour and when you get back..." Nathan paused to take a deep breath, "When you get back, I'll talk to Clay about me relocating to Tree Hill, so you can go back to teaching."

A giddy laugh bubbled from Haley's lips as her eyes filled with tears. How had it been possible to get everything she had ever wished for? In a world without her parents - she'd never be able to change that - she was able to fall in love with the most incredible man who wanted her to have everything, who loved her back. Despite his turbulent history with his father in his home town, Nathan was willing to move to be with her, to give up the life he'd carved for himself, for her. The fact that he didn't have to and that Haley had nearly forgotten the phone call she'd received while driving back to Charlotte, made her laugh harder.

"It's ok, Nathan. It's ok," she stroked his handsome face with her fingers. "You don't have to leave Charlotte."

"Haley, if the last week has taught me anything, it's that I'm really useless when you're not around. You have a job there and I know how much you love to teach. The youth center isn't enough for you, and..."

"No, Nathan, I mean you really don't have to leave Charlotte... Principal Stevens, from East Charlotte High, called me yesterday. He said he was so impressed with how Quentin's and the others boys' behavior has improved in the last few months and how confident they were sitting their finals the other week. I mean, he wants to meet with me but he said it's just a formality... he'd love to hire me and they have a full time position available starting in the new school year. It's a better offer than Mr Turner's, and..."

Haley's words were swallowed as Nathan's lips jumped on hers once more. When he pulled back, she knew that his smile was as big as her own. "Are you serious? You have a job here?"

Nodding happily, Haley joined Nathan's giddy laughter. Like magnetic forces, their lips drew together again in celebration. Haley felt Nathan's body press against hers as he rolled over from his sitting position to cover her body with his, propping his forearm by her head to stop his entire weight from crushing her.

"I can't believe you're really here; I can't believe you're staying," Nathan marveled, when he eventually pulled his face away from hers.

"I know," Haley sighed. Nathan's weight on hers felt like a blanket of contentment. "But Nathan… this changes a lot for us… I mean, do you want me to keep living here?"

"Yes," Nathan replied promptly, before Haley had finished asking the reel of questions that were pushing inside her brain.

"… and we have to talk about the house in Tree Hill. Nathan, you shouldn't have done that…"

"But I wanted to."

"I know, and I love you for it, Nathan, really I do," Haley reached up to rub at Nathan's cheek again. She found now that she had permission to touch him, it was hard to keep her hands away. "But the house, the piano… it's a lot of money and I don't need you to buy things for me, or even get involved with my family's drama."

Nathan sighed. "Hales, look… last year I was a star. I thought I had years of professional basketball ahead of me. I was something, simply for putting a ball through a hoop. And I know how stupid that sounds, but I was special, alright? And now… I'm just another washed up player trying to make it in a 9-5 career he never imagined he'd have. I don't have a lot to offer you, Haley James, but what I do have is money. I told you, I'm going to be comfortable – more than comfortable – for the rest of my life, and if I can use some of that money to make you happy, to give you anything you want, I'm going to do that. You have to let me do that."

Haley shook her head. "I love _you_ , Nathan. Not your money or who you used to be. I love the man you've become; this kind, selfless man. I don't need a piano to keep me here in Charlotte. I have _you_."

Nathan's half-smile told Haley he didn't fully believe her. "I guess we probably should have talked about all of this stuff last night, right?"

At the mention of the previous night, and the way Nathan's eyes were taking her in, Haley felt the way scarlet flushed across her face. "Nathan... about last night..."

Behind her eyelids, images of the previous night flashed before her. Haley saw the couple, soaking wet and dripping rain water all over the floor, stumble through the front door, their lips never separating. Nathan holding her as they tripped up the stairs, past the bedroom Haley had occupied for months and into Nathan's. Stripping off their heavy, wet clothing...

"Hey, look," Nathan sat up again, pulling her up gently with him. When he slipped his fingers under her chin, Haley couldn't help but lift her face to his. Nathan's face was filled with tenderness. "It's not about the sex with me, alright? I want to do this properly; I've waited so damn long for you, Hales, and I don't want to mess it up by rushing into anything you're not ready for. When you're ready, I will be, too."

Overwhelmed with emotion, Haley stared at the rumpled sheets beneath them. Nathan had been nothing but a gentleman last night - wrapping her up in a towel and making sure she was warm before giving her an oversized Duke t-shirt to wear (Nathan, Haley had learned, had an impressive collection of t-shirts from colleges he had never been to). The kisses they had shared as they automatically slipped into the same bed, settling on their respective sides as if they had danced this routine hundreds of times, had been nothing but chaste sweetness and gentle explorations of each other's mouths until they had drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

"In fact," Nathan's voice pulled Haley from her thoughts. "We're going to do this properly. Haley James... when you get back after the tour, will you go on a date with me?"

"Nathan!" Haley couldn't help but laugh. His face was sincere and she thought it was adorable. "Aren't we a little past that? I already live in your house; we've already told each other 'I love you'... we're doing this all backwards! It's not normal!"

"So? I'm not normal... what I'm feeling is not normal... and to be honest with you, Haley, I don't ever want to be normal. Not with you."

Haley buried her face into Nathan's warm chest, breathing in his sleepy male warmth. She never wanted to let go.

"Yes, Nathan... I will go on a date with you."

She couldn't help but laugh at the grin on Nathan's face. "Great, now that we've got that settled, what do you say we stay in bed so I can kiss you for a couple of hours before you have to get back on the road?"

"Mmm… sounds perfect," Haley murmured, her lips already on Nathan's as she tried to pull his body back onto the mattress. "It's all perfect."

Haley opened her eyes long enough to see Nathan's smirk creasing through one side of his face as he positioned himself over her again.

"We're perfect."


	33. Chapter 33

Nathan weaved his way through the bustling figures around him and the cables that snaked under his Converse-clad feet. The small white card that dangled around his neck, declaring him a visitor, jostled as he reached for his phone that was vibrating in his pocket. His smile was already stretching across his face before he answered it.

"Hi, baby."

"Nathan! Hi! I just wanted to call you before I went onstage." Haley's chirpy voice sounded in his ear. It amazed Nathan that even her voice had changed; he had barely recognized the dejected, monotonous tones she spoke in when she had first arrived to live with him in Charlotte and now the small brunette's voice was much more reminiscent of the upbeat encouragement he had listened to twice a week during their tutoring sessions in high school.

"It's good to hear your voice, baby," the endearment flowed from Nathan's lips almost every chance it could since he and Haley had become an official couple. "You're in... Seattle, right?"

"Yup. You know... in winter it rains a _lot_ in Seattle..."

Nathan's cheek lifted with a smirk at the suggestive tone in his girlfriend's voice. God, she was his girlfriend; it was another thing Nathan couldn't get tired of saying. "Does it now?"

Haley's giggle was infectious. "Where are you? It sounds... noisy?"

Nathan proceeded across the room towards a familiar head that was still a speck in the distance. "I was in New York this week, finalizing some endorsement deals. I just got off the plane." It wasn't a complete lie - he had been in New York that morning and he had gotten off the plane just half an hour ago. "So... what are you wearing, baby?"

"Nathan!" Haley's admonishing laughter surrounded him and he watched as the small figure he was focusing on slipped in between two tall, large speakers and out of sight. The background noise in his right ear where he held his phone dimmed marginally in comparison to his left. Haley's voice dropped to just above a whisper. "I'm about to go onstage; I'm hardly wearing anything sexy."

"Come on, Hales. You know everything you wear is sexy." Nathan's voice dropped, too, as he came to a stop. "Like a red dress with a little white top underneath? Some little black heels?"

"What? How did you..." Haley's head whipped side to side before she whirled around. Nathan's grin consumed his face as she spotted him standing beside the speakers she had been hiding behind, phone still up to his ear. "Oh my gosh, Nathan! What are you doing here?!"

She flew towards him and Nathan scooped her up, twirling her around before they backed into the small space together, kissing hard. "I told you I just got off a plane from New York... I just happened to get off at Seattle, instead of Charlotte," he explained, breathlessly.

"Oh my God!" Haley was grinning as she peppered his face with kisses. "You flew across the entire country to see me?"

"It's been two weeks, I missed you, baby," Nathan replied, tenderly. "Anyway, someone told me it rains a lot in Seattle."

"Not in July, Nathan," Haley managed to roll her eyes before she threw her arms around him again. "I missed you so much, I'm so glad you're here!"

Nathan had never felt more content, despite his surroundings. It wasn't every day he found himself hiding backstage before a concert on the opposite side of the country with his girl in his arms. Although he had been busy with work and considerably more focused on his job than he had been the last time he'd had to be without Haley, he'd continued to miss her presence at his house - especially now that they were a couple. They spoke every night, sometimes twice a day, but the sweet, melodic voice in his ear couldn't make up for how she felt in his arms with the smell of flowers coming from her hair, how she looked with her bright chocolate eyes sparkling up at him.

"Haley! Where are y...? Oh..." Nathan jumped as he sensed a presence blocking off the narrow space between the two speakers he and Haley were wedged between. Turning, he recognized the intruder as Mia Catalano. She was even shorter than Haley, but the way her eyebrow was raised and her hands lay on her hips told Nathan that she made up for what she lacked in size.

"Ahh..." Mia smiled. "Blue eyes... dark hair on his head..." Nathan watched, amused and a little taken aback as the singer's eyes so blatantly scanned him from head to toe. "Killer body and..."

"Mia!" Haley's voice interrupted, hastily. "Mia Catalano, this is Nathan Scott." Haley's voice had an edge to it that Nathan couldn't interpret, but he held his hand out nevertheless.

Mia smirked as they shook hands. "It's _very_ nice to meet you, Nathan Scott."

"Uh..." Nathan rubbed the back of his head, awkwardly. "Thanks. It's good to meet you, too. The opportunity you've given Haley is amazing."

The singer's lips moved into a genuine smile. "I'm lucky to have her on tour with me. She's so talented."

"I agree," Nathan trained his smile on his girlfriend standing beside him, reveling in the way her cheeks flushed at the compliment.

"As sorry as I am to break up what must have been a hot make-out session, Haley - you're up."

"Oh!" Haley jumped. "I have to go!"

Nathan pulled her in for another kiss before releasing her. "Go. Be amazing. I'll be right here watching."

Haley rewarded him with another beaming smile before heading onto the stage. The applause was still fresh when Nathan sensed another body next to him, turning to see Peyton standing beside him.

"Hey, Peyton."

"Well, you seem a lot happier to speak to me than you did last time we spoke."

Remembering how he had stormed into his office and lashed out at Peyton over the phone after Haley had told him about moving to Tree Hill, Nathan grimaced. "Yeah... I owe you an apology for that. I'm sorry, Peyton. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"It's ok," The blonde waved away his apology. "It all worked out, didn't it?"

Gazing out onto the stage where his girl had settled behind a piano, Nathan grinned. "It sure did."

"Hi Seattle! How is everyone doing tonight?"

The cheering grew louder in response to Haley's question and Nathan could see the way her lips stretched across her face. As the noise dimmed, she leaned towards the microphone and continued. "As we were driving here today, a song that I hadn't heard in a while came on the radio and it affected me like never before... It's a song about someone having a hard time, about grief and loss ... and a reminder that someone is always out there wanting to make it all better and who believes they can fix you... they believe in you."

Nathan and Peyton stood side by side, silently, as Haley spoke. The small figure behind the piano had the entire crowd entranced and hanging onto her every word. When Haley looked up, her chocolate eyes connecting with Nathan, he struggled to find the air to fill his lungs.

"There's someone here tonight who fixed me. He seems to think I fixed him but I know he was never broken to begin with. This song is for you, Nathan... you are my light and you are my home."

 _When you try your best and you don't succeed_

 _When you get what you want but not what you need_

 _When you feel so tired but you can't sleep_

 _Stuck in reverse_

 _When the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?_

 _Lights will guide you home_

 _And ignite your bones_

 _And I will try to fix you_

"She's a natural, huh?"

Nathan shook his head as Peyton's voice pulled him out of his trance. The dark mass of audience to their right had been lit up by multiple lighters and cellphones being waved in the air; onstage, Haley was being accompanied by a band, but Nathan didn't notice anyone onstage but her.

"She's incredible."

"She really loves it up there. And the crowds have been loving her."

"Do you think she..." Nathan trailed off, shaking his head again as he tried to dislodge the thought from his head. He'd forgotten, however, how eerily well Peyton was able to read his mind.

"Come on, Nathan. Don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Don't ruin this - this moment and what you have with Haley. You're finally happy and you deserve this. Don't have doubts."

"I didn't say anything!" Nathan knew his protests weren't convincing enough against his long-time friend.

"Nathan," Peyton turned to him, forcing his eyes away from Haley and towards her. "It doesn't matter how much she loves touring and performing live, it doesn't matter how much the crowds love her. She will never, ever love it more than she loves you. At the end of this tour, in another four weeks, she'll be coming home to you."

Nathan felt the warmth in his chest grow at her words. Home. With Haley. Looking back towards the stage, the collective voice of the audience blended with Haley's as they all sung together.

 _Tears streaming down your face_

 _And I..._

 _Lights will guide you home_

 _And ignite your bones_

 _And I will try to fix you._

* * *

 **I hate starting every chapter with an apology, so I'll end with one instead: I'm so sorry that this is such a short chapter! It doesn't really serve a lot towards the plot, but it was a moment that I wanted to include, regardless. I'll make it up to you all in the next chapter; I think you'll all like what I have planned :-)**

 **As a side note, if you've read any of my other stories (literally, ALL of my other stories) you'll know I don't shy away from writing smut. Hypothetically speaking, if Haley and Nathan were to get overly intimate in this story, what would you prefer to read - explicit, implied or somewhere in between? Personally I feel like the smut I usually write wouldn't fit well here, but I am happy to be guided by what people prefer, so let me know in a PM or review! Remember, hypothetically ;-)**


	34. Chapter 34

"So, what are you wearing?"

"Wow, I feel like you should be paying a lot more for this call if you're going to ask me things like that," Haley laughed nervously, shifting her phone to her other ear as she used her free hand to flick through her meager wardrobe. Even since consolidating the clothes she'd left behind in LA with her Tree Hill belongings, Haley wasn't a renowned clothes horse. She wasn't sure if she had an answer that would satisfy the question amongst her faded t-shirts and jeans.

"And I feel like I shouldn't be on this call at all..."

"Well, you can hang up! Haley's going on her first date with Nathan - which is totally adorable, by the way - and she needs to look perfect. This is serious girl talk here." Haley was still laughing at the disgusted tone of her best friend as Brooke's unmistakable raspy voice admonished him.

"Hey! She's my best friend!" Lucas protested.

"Going out with your brother," Brooke countered, as Haley continued to laugh. Despite Brooke's presence still being a relatively new one to the phone calls between the childhood best friends, she had fitted in as if she had always been a part of their lives. For someone who had grown up with mostly male friends, especially when she had been too young and too much of a nerd to interest her older sisters, it was refreshing - and, Haley had realized, helpful - finally having some close girlfriends to talk to. Brooke had seamlessly become a part of Lucas's life since their return to New York, and in turn, Haley's.

"Yeah... you do realize, Hales, that if he hurts you, I'm going to have to kick his ass, right?"

Both women laughed at Lucas' threatening tone. "He's not going to hurt me, Luke," Haley assured him. "We talked about this when we saw you in New York, remember?

"Yeah, the professional writer takes on the former NBA superstar. You better hope he doesn't hurt her," Brooke teased. "Otherwise Nathan might end up with ink on his shirt after you stab him with your pen."

"Hey! What are you talking about? I could take on Nathan!"

"So where is he taking you?" Brooke asked once the laughter and Lucas' protests had died down.

"I don't know," Haley admitted. "I was so tired after getting back from tour last night that I slept in. Nathan left a note in the kitchen saying be ready by 7pm and he'll pick me up from my room." A smile stretched her lips at the memory; the couple hadn't seen each other since Nathan's last visit on tour - when they had met up with Lucas and Brooke in New York a week ago - and they had spent the night in separate beds the previous night at home. While Haley had planned on spending the whole day with Nathan before their date, she had peeked into Nathan's room late morning to see an empty bed and padded downstairs to a silent house and a piece of paper with his messy scrawl on the kitchen counter.

"I can't believe you live together, have told each other 'I love you' and you're just now going on your first date. Way to do things backwards, Hales." Lucas teased.

Recalling Nathan's explanation over six weeks ago, Haley smiled to herself. "I don't ever want to be normal... not with Nathan."

It had felt incredible, so natural, the new couple hanging out with Lucas and Brooke in New York. She had played two shows there and it was the third time Nathan had made a trip to visit her on tour. Each time had been filled with a day of hand holding, secret smiles and chaste kisses, and after the shows each night Nathan dropped her off in front of the tour bus, kissed her on the mouth and said goodnight. Only in New York did she say goodnight to a smirking Mia and her back up band and left the tour bus for the plush king-size bed, countless pillows and the luxurious bathroom of Nathan's hotel room. Even then, the pair had tangled up together like spindling vines and slept as if they had done so together hundreds of times before instead of just once - the night Haley returned from Tree Hill.

Despite their chaste behavior, Haley had been more than aware of the desire and sexual tension that sizzled between them. More than once during their nightly phone conversations had Haley slipped her hand underneath the elastic waistband of her underwear and brought herself to a muted but juddering climax at the sound of Nathan's deep, laid-back drawl in her ear. It wasn't something she'd ever done with another man; it was simply in response to her body's craving. It almost scared her, how badly she wanted this man; to the point where she would pleasure herself without Nathan's knowledge, while he talked about his client's shoe contracts.

Since her feelings of love had caught up with her feelings of lust, Haley had felt more confident in her attraction towards Nathan. Knowing now that it wasn't just some trick of her brain, effected by medication and loneliness, she was starting to accept that she thought about sex. A lot. The feelings she'd tried to tamper since May had now been allowed to flourish and expand.

"Right," Brooke declared, interrupting the thoughts that had Haley's cheeks flushing a deep red. "Get down to COB on Main Street. I know the perfect dress for your date tonight; Lisa will have it ready for you to pick up."

"Brooke, you don't have to..."

"I don't have to, but I want to," Brooke interrupted again. "After all, if Nathan has any say in it, this is the last first date you will ever have."

* * *

The knock on Haley's door came at exactly 7pm.

With one last look in the mirror, Haley smoothed out a misplaced curl behind her ear and ran her fingers down the silky fabric of her dress. Brooke had been right - the dress was perfect. The red sweetheart neckline sat perfectly across her chest, showing a tasteful amount of cleavage that Haley was comfortable with, fitted her body with enough room for her to have dessert and swirled to an end just above her knees. When she had gone to Clothes over Bro's as instructed, she'd caught Lisa, the store manager, wrapping something black and lacy in tissue paper before sliding it into the bag she handed over. Despite Haley's nervous protests, Lisa declared her life was worth more than disobeying her boss, and Haley was forced to take it. While the red dress was the perfect mix of flirty and tasteful, it was the intricately detailed lace strapless bra and tiny thong she wore underneath that was causing more than a few butterflies to flap wildly in her stomach. It was lingerie to be seen. More specifically, it was lingerie she wanted Nathan to see. Tonight.

Haley's jaw couldn't help but drop once she had opened the door. Nathan stood, one hand was thrust deep into his pocket, the other holding a small bouquet of purple wildflowers. She watched as the nervous smile on his face fell off as he took her in.

Nathan's white button-down shirt strained against his shoulders and biceps before skimming the abs that Haley knew lay underneath. The dark stubble that dusted his jaw contrasted against his skin that was still relatively pale despite it being late-August, and she couldn't help but imagine how the rough hairs would feel against her cheeks, her neck, her thighs. He'd had his hair cut and the neat lines that cut through the raven strands looked like he had put effort into combing it for their date.

Haley was thankful that she had finished her ogling before he had. The dumbstruck look on Nathan's face gave her another breath of confidence with her next inhalation. She felt put together by the time his eyes had met hers.

"Wow."

Knowing her cheeks were the same color as her dress, Haley fought the urge to bite her lip, smudging the light color she'd swiped on it earlier. "It's another COB dress, Brooke insisted..."

"It's not the dress, Hales," Nathan interrupted. "You look beautiful..."

Haley stood still as Nathan reached out, his finger tracing the curl she had just tucked behind her ear and blatant adoration in his eyes. "These are for you."

She recognized the purple flowers from the ones that lined his driveway, and smiled. "They're beautiful, Nathan. Let me just put these in water and we can go."

"I'm not sure if my roommate owns a vase," she mused, checking the cupboards around the kitchen. She sent Nathan another smile, which grew into a giggle at the sight of his flushed face.

"Uh... yeah. Probably not... but there's some old jars in that bottom drawer."

Haley found a suitable vase substitute and as she filled it with water, Nathan spoke up again. "You might want to tell your roommate to buy some vases, because I'm going to be spoiling you with flowers, Haley James."

"Oh, is that right?"

Nathan's patented smirk was firmly in place by the time she had turned around. Holding his arm out, she relished the opportunity to link her arm through his and hold tightly onto his bicep.

"Shall we?"

"We shall."

* * *

Nathan had been the perfect gentleman, opening doors, holding chairs out and complimenting Haley every chance he had. The food was delicious and the conversation flowed easily between the pair. They had talked about everything and exchanged longing glances over their dessert spoons until the restaurant had emptied. They had just about reached Nathan's car when he stopped in his tracks, patting the pockets of his dark jeans.

"Damn, I must have left my keys inside. I'll just be a second."

Haley knew the kiss he left on her mouth before he jogged back towards the restaurant was simply because he could. She had reveled in the attention all night, the hand holding and simple touches that warmed her body, building the anticipation towards the time - only a few minutes from now - when they would be alone in private.

"Hi Haley!"

The cheery voice startled Haley from her thoughts, and she turned around, surprised to see the familiar redhead standing beside her.

"Daytona... hi."

If Daytona was troubled by seeing Nathan kiss Haley just seconds before, it didn't show on her face as she stood there smiling. "It's so good to see you, you look amazing."

"Oh... um, thanks."

"I just had a business meeting across the road," Daytona continued. "Thank goodness I can claim dinner back on the expense account because that was two hours of my life I'll never get back!"

Haley smiled nervously as the tall lawyer laughed easily. She couldn't help the intimidation that cloaked her body; this was the woman who Nathan had last chosen to date, to accompany him on his arm at a public event. Their physical differences couldn't be more pronounced and, despite knowing who Nathan would be going home with that night, Haley couldn't help but worry her bottom lip with nerves.

"So, things are going well between you and Nathan, I take it?"

"Um... what?" Haley could have kicked herself for sounding so idiotic, but the other woman's friendly tone had thrown her. Apparently, Daytona hadn't noticed Haley's inarticulateness, as she continued talking.

"You and Nathan! I saw you come out of the restaurant and you both look so happy and perfect together." Daytona smiled again. "I'm really happy for Nathan. And I'm happy for you, too... it sounds like you really deserve someone like Nathan. You're a lucky woman."

Frowning, Haley finally found some words. "I'm sorry... but this is kind of weird... I mean, you talking about me and Nathan? Calling me the lucky one? You're his ex."

Again, Daytona's laugh was light and untroubled. "I'd hardly call standing me up and then going on one date - where he thought and spoke about nothing but you by the way, Haley - enough to call me an ex. I'm just glad you he told you how he felt."

Haley's frown deepened as she felt Daytona's words swimming in her head. She understood the words, but at the same time had no idea what the other woman was saying. "Ok, I'm confused. You guys only went on one date? You know he had feelings for me?"

"He never told you?" Daytona's frown mirrored Haley's own. "Even after you guys got together?"

The question made Haley realize that Daytona had no idea her relationship with Nathan was only officially 6 weeks old, with less than a week of that time where they had actually been in the same town together. "No?"

"There was a night, back in March... you had to go to Tree Hill and you called Nathan, talked for hours?" Daytona's smile shifted into something softer, almost sadder, as Haley nodded, uncertainly. "We had a date that night. Nathan stood me up because he was on the phone to you."

As Haley felt the shock contort her face, recalling how she had called him with the desperate need to talk to him. He hadn't once mentioned he had plans; he had been the one encouraging her to talk more.

"Then, for some crazy reason that I don't think even he knows, he kept persisting and asked me to be his date for the fundraising gala," Daytona continued. "Even though the whole night he was thinking about you, worried about leaving you at home... and then when your sister showed up it just got really weird. I don't think even he knew the depth of his own feelings at that point, but they were pretty obvious. So..." Daytona drawled, "That was the end of our _relationship_." She lifted her hands to make air quotes around her last word. "You were on his mind since the moment I saw him again at work."

Images floated around Haley's head. The fundraising gala, Nathan and Daytona leaving together in their formal clothes, the following morning finding Nathan making chicken dumpling soup. The Cracker Jack bracelet. Despite the warm weather, Haley felt goosebumps rise on her skin. It wasn't until much later that Nathan had told her that Daytona was the one who had feelings for a friend, who had broken it off because she hadn't realized the depth of those feelings. Now Haley realized how Nathan had, in fact, reversed the roles.

Haley snapped back to attention as Daytona gently touched her arm, a small smile on her face. "I have to go, but say hi to Nathan for me. I'm glad it all worked out between the two of you."

"Bye." The farewell was half-hearted, and Haley wasn't sure how long she was staring down the road after the red-headed figure, her thoughts still swirling.

Nathan had stood up his date to be there for her. Long before she had even begun to feel like herself, his feelings had started to develop.

She felt like her body was a sizzling mass of energy and she nearly jumped when she felt Nathan's arm around her waist.

"Sorry about that... one of the waiters is a huge Bobcats fan, I got stuck talking to hi... mmmph!"

Haley felt Nathan stagger back on his feet as she threw herself towards him, pushing her lips forcefully onto his. His startled exclamation died off as he moaned softly, leaning back into her as she pulled him closer by the edge of his unbuttoned shirt collar.

The kiss was far hotter than she'd normally deem publicly acceptable, but it was the only thing her body wanted right now. As she'd come to learn, Nathan was more than happy letting her take the lead with their physical relationship, allowing her to dictate the pace of their kisses and how far she wanted them to proceed. There was nothing submissive about it, as he was more than capable of taking control over her lips with his, but now Haley wanted to bring him to his knees. Make it clear she wanted one thing - him.

"Whoah..." Nathan's staggeringly blue eyes blinked wildly as they broke away for air. "What was that for?"

Ignoring his question, Haley brushed her hair back from her face, her chest heaving with the effort of breathing.

"Take me home. Now."

* * *

 **Thank you everyone for the feedback from the last chapter... looks like you won't have to wait too much longer to find out how hot the Naley lovin' gets ;-)**


	35. Chapter 35

**Before you start reading this, I have to admit that I read your replies to my question at the end of chapter 33 and was prepared to write a pretty hot Naley lovemaking scene that was still sweet and romantic, tender and loving. Having said that, Nathan decided to push a little bit further and things got a lot more explicit than I had planned. I tried to balance it out, but who knows what can happen when those two get together. What can I say? (#BlameJamesLafferty, right?) If this is a little more R-rated than you prefer to see, I'm sorry, but I hope I did this huge, 35-chapter build up some justice.**

 **The last part of this chapter is inspired by the amazing OTHfangirl, who, months ago, told me about the impressive bathroom on the set of Naley's house from S7 onwards. We both agreed that it was way too incredible for them not to have incorporated more of the set, especially the shower (but we all know how robbed we were of Naley shower action in general!) Anyway, I just had to mention it somehow and it makes an appearance later in this chapter. Huge thanks to her for describing it to me so I could make it a feature here!**

 **Happy Valentine's Day, you amazing people xx**

* * *

The slamming of the front door echoed around vast entrance to Nathan's house, closely followed by a second, more muted thud as Nathan's head hit the hard wood. Haley felt the vibrations through their interlocked mouths, but it didn't deter her from tangling her tongue with Nathan's as she pressed her body closer to his, using his position against the door as leverage.

Nathan's strong hands slid down the curves of her waist and shaped themselves around her ass, which pushed her even closer. In her heels, stretching her body as tall as she could, Haley could just align her hips with his, which created a delicious friction as she reveled in the feel of rough denim through her thin dress and almost non-existent scrap of underwear.

Haley couldn't hold back her moan as Nathan's hands kneaded her ass. Despite their relatively chaste relationship over the past few weeks, Nathan had made it no secret how much he loved her ass. His hands always found their way there - slipping into the back pocket of her jeans as they stood together, resting there as they kissed or giving it a firm grab whenever he came across her bent over something. As she continued to stretch up to reach his lips, Nathan's fingers made their way under the hem of her dress, dancing up the sensitive skin at the top of her thighs before he effortlessly lifted her up so she could meet his kisses at the same height. Wrapping her legs around him, Haley marveled at just how strong Nathan was; despite being a small girl and also being aware of his efforts in his gym, it still amazed her at how easily he could pick her up as if she weighed nothing.

"God, you taste so good," Nathan mumbled against her neck as he nipped and sucked his way from the edge of her shoulder to the spot below her ear where he'd quickly discovered was the most sensitive spot on the parts of her body that he had already explored. In response, Haley squeezed her thighs tighter around his waist and ground herself further into his belt buckle with a moan.

Their kisses were hot and wet. Haley opened her mouth wide over Nathan's and their tongues wrestled together, dancing around each other's before creeping into every crevice of each other's mouths. Haley didn't think she had ever been kissed this way, if it could even be called kissing. Kissing seemed way too delicate and tender for what was happening against Nathan's front door right now.

"Shit, Haley..." Nathan gasped. "I need air..."

Haley could only nod in agreement as their foreheads rested against each other, their panted breaths mingling in the tiny space between their lips. She couldn't help but feel powerful and seductive, watching the way big, bad, ladies' man Nathan Scott's face crinkled up in an effort to gain control, weakened against the kisses of quiet, bookworm Haley James. Daytona's declaration earlier had simply fueled a fire that had been simmering away in her belly; Nathan wanted Haley and _only_ Haley. He had always wanted her, even when she had been at her lowest. It was a hell of an aphrodisiac.

"Hales," he whispered. "What do... I mean, where... why..."

She almost giggled at his incoherence. With her legs still wrapped around his waist, she brought her hands up to gently stroke his cheeks with the pads of her thumb. "Yes, Nathan?"

"Baby, I have to know... what do you want? Because I could kiss you all night long, but... but..." His chest heaved for air against Haley's. "But at some point, I'm not going to be able to restrain myself, I'll get past the point of no return with you, so I need to know..."

Nathan's deep, lust-laden voice was seemingly incapable of rising above a whisper, the timbre shooting straight to Haley's core. Another gentle grind against his pelvis had him groaning and Haley could tell how close he was to exploding. She gently untangled her legs and placed her feet on the floor before stepping back to give him some space.

From the minute she'd arrived at his house half a year ago, he had always been considerate of her feelings. Their "first date" that night had been his attempt at slowing the pace of their relationship down, giving her time to adjust. She knew progressing past their insanely hot make out sessions would be entirely her call. Haley was well aware of Nathan's new-found discipline; how the last time he had had sex was the night before the Bobcat's last playoff game last May, where he had injured his knee. He had told her how the amount of sheet washing and cold showers had multiplied after the nights of drinking to unconsciousness had abated, as her cheeks flushed a vivid red at the imagery. Nathan had refused to return to his previous ways, using women as a means to an end. He was going to wait, and he had, he was. Now that she knew the depths of Nathan's sincerity, she trusted him not to progress their physical relationship faster than she could handle.

But now, despite the nerves that shot through her since she'd felt the entire size of the appendage that swelled in Nathan's jeans, she knew she could handle everything he had to give her.

She sucked in a slow breath until her lungs were about to burst. Her breasts strained against the neckline of her dress; Nathan had noticed it, judging by the way his eyes had dropped. Reaching behind her, she found the tiny zip in the middle of her back and slowly pulled it down, using her other hand to hold the fabric taut. When it could unzip no further, Haley removed her hands, feeling the soft fabric slide down her body to pool around her ankles.

The look in Nathan's eyes took her breath away. The butterflies in her stomach took on a totally different reason for their intense fluttering, and a small part of her brain reminded her to thank Brooke for the extra addition to her bag that afternoon, knowing she definitely didn't have suitable underwear of her own to elicit this reaction. She watched as Nathan's eyes rapidly zig-zagged her body, as if they had too much to look at and needed to take it all in at once.

"Haley..." he breathed, somewhat deliriously. "God, Hales, you are... beautiful..."

Nathan stepped forward and raised his hand, one finger reverently tracing the outline of her bra, never straying into the more delicate lace of the cups. Haley felt her breathing shallow as both pairs of eyes followed his finger. Goosebumps erupted on Haley's skin.

"I love you, Haley James."

"I love you, too, Nathan Scott."

The kiss he captured her lips in was sweet and tender but did nothing to short the somersaults in her stomach. With a deep breath, Haley grabbed his hands and led him up the stairs, well aware of the sharp hissing sound she heard when she turned around to reveal nothing covering the globes of her ass, the small black strip emerging between them to join onto the similarly small waistband. She couldn't help put an extra sway to her hips as she moved, filled with the confidence she'd felt when he had re-emerged from the restaurant earlier.

Nathan wanted _her_. Not Daytona. Not the ponytail-swishing blonde duo that continued to greet Nathan and ignore her every morning on their runs. _Her_.

"No... my room..." Nathan spoke suddenly as she paused by her bedroom door. "In all of my dreams, it's always my bed that you're in."

Haley quirked her eyebrow, but any words were cut off by Nathan wrapping an arm under her knees, scooping her up in his arms as he walked them further down the hall and into his room. In three long strides, Nathan's legs had hit the bed and he carefully laid her body on top of his steel grey comforter.

"Oh my God..." While it wasn't the first time that Haley had called out to that particular deity that night, this time it was in response to the way her body sunk into Nathan's bed. The mattress supported her weight with the perfect amount of pressure and softness while the four-digit thread count sheets caressed her skin. Her body sunk further into the cloud-like mattress as Nathan arranged his weight carefully above her.

"Are you kidding me? You sleep on this? Every night?"

Nathan's lips were busy traversing her collarbone, but she could just make out his mumbled "mmm-hmm..."

"Why would you ever get out of bed?!" She exclaimed, hardly believing that she could string a coherent sentence with Nathan's ministrations, but the absurd comfort of the bed she was lying on wasn't something that she could easily ignore.

Nathan lifted his head and watched her for a long moment. His pupils were so dilated with arousal, it was hard to make out his bluer than blue irises around them. A painfully slow, devilish smirk lifted one side of his face. "Because I've never had you in here... until now."

Nathan claimed her lips, fiercely, and Haley moaned into his mouth. The action separated her lips, allowing Nathan's tongue to sweep in and tangle with hers. Lifting her legs, Haley wrapped them around his own incredibly enticing ass, enabling their lower bodies to continue rubbing against each other.

At this point, Haley wasn't sure if it was raw desire or nerves that made her feel like she was pure electricity. She'd had sex before, of course, although none of her previous partners had had their sex life speculated about in print or written up on bathroom stalls. She knew her boyfriend had no shortage of experience or lack of willing partners to grow that experience, but the way he had been looking at her and kissing her, coupled with the impressive erection that was pushing against her panties through his jeans, Haley didn't feel at all inadequate. She felt sexy and desired, bold and brave. She may not have been the first in Nathan's long, long line of conquests, but she could feel it in her soul - she would be the last.

Nathan's fingers brushed along her back and she arched upwards when she felt his thumb and forefinger deftly unsnap her bra. His warm, wet mouth was on her breasts a second later.

"Beautiful... so beautiful..." he mumbled, almost to himself. The hand that had removed her bra so expertly was putting its talents towards teasing her left breast, while he gently pulled at her right nipple with his teeth and tongue. Haley couldn't stop the loud moans that were coming from her mouth; she wondered if it was possible to orgasm simply from the attention Nathan was paying to her breasts. He licked and touched everywhere, from the soft underside to the darkened skin around her nipples, nothing was ignored.

Her breathing hitched as air hit her chest, feeling cooler compared to the fiery heat of Nathan's mouth. He kissed down her stomach, his nose dipping into the concave space of her bellybutton, his teeth nipping at the skin at her hip bones. His strong hands massaged her calves and his fingers danced up and down her thighs as his mouth moved slower to kiss the soft skin inside her thighs.

It was only when she felt his fingers hook around the barely-there waistband of her thong that Haley was able to command her brain to say something coherent.

"Nathan... wait..."

He looked up suddenly at the sound of her voice, his eyes hooded with lust, even though she could see he was alert to her request.

"You don't have to... I mean... I haven't... um..." Now that she had his attention, Haley's previous confidence and sexiness waned as she awkwardly stumbled for words. "No one has done... _that_... before... so um, if you don't want to... you don't..."

Oh God. She felt her cheeks burn up even further, and this time it wasn't due to the heat Nathan was drawing to her skin.

Nathan's dark eyebrows raised towards his hairline. "Haley?"

She could tell that he wanted her to say it. _Of course_ Nathan Scott had no inhibitions in bed. She was sure he had done everything; more than everything, more than she could ever even imagine. She squirmed, partially with awkwardness and mostly because his mouth had blown a hot gust of air towards her core.

"Are you telling me," his voice was dangerously low, his face still centimeters away from the most intimate part of her body. "That no one has ever eaten you out?"

Oh God. _Oh God_. Why did he have to say it like that? His voice all deep and gravelly... Haley pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, biting down hard. "Um... well... no... I guess no one has ever wanted to." Her voice was barely audible and she felt her blush spread further down her body as she fought the temptation to press her legs together and curl up. "I mean, if you want to, that's... ok..." she trailed off, lamely.

"Are you asking me if I want to run my tongue through your pussy? Taste you, kiss you, lick every bit of juice up? Suck on your clit and make you come all over my face? Is that what you're asking me, Haley?"

A shiver wracked through Haley's body, her skin tight with goosebumps. Nathan liked dirty talk. She could climax on his words alone, the imagery he was evoking - which wasn't that difficult since his head was already in place between her thighs.

"Yesss..." It came out as a hiss, leaking out of her body as Nathan gently drew her underwear down her legs.

"Hell yes, I want to."

If it was possible to die from pleasure, they may have been the last words Haley would ever hear as Nathan's tongue swept through her folds in one long, sure stroke. Her subsequent moan was loud in her ears, drowning out Nathan's groan of "Fuck..." She felt her inner muscles tighten as he used his lips and tongue to touch every inch of her soaking pussy.

All inhibitions and reservations had disappeared as she writhed and bucked, pinned in place by Nathan's hands at the top of her thighs. Over and over he tenderly licked her, collecting up the wetness that flowed out of her, French kissing her folds. When his tongue delved further into her warmth, she actually screamed out loud.

"Nathan! Oh God, Nathan... don't stop..."

He was using his fingers now; one hand splayed over the top of her pubic bone to keep her in place, the other gently stroking through her folds until he slowly inserted his index finger, quickly followed by his long middle finger. His tongue lapped at her swollen clit.

"Yes... yes... yesss..." were the only intelligible words coming out of Haley's mouth as she felt herself tighten. She felt Nathan's fingers curve and slide against a certain spot inside of her, which was her undoing. With a loud scream, her back arched off the bed and she shuddered violently as her orgasm spiraled throughout her body.

Haley didn't know how long she shook, as Nathan remained between her legs, gently kissing her. Her brain had shut down, her body like liquid as she lay in a sated afterglow. Eventually, she felt Nathan move up her body and heard his husky voice in her ear.

"Was that ok?"

A deep, satisfied sigh was her only response and Nathan chuckled. "I can't believe no one has ever done that for you before. Fuck, I'm pretty sure I enjoyed myself more than you."

When Nathan laughed again, Haley knew it was in reaction to the deep blush that spread over her current, lust-exerted flushed face. The fact that she could still be shy around him after what he had done was something she knew he'd find amusing. Opening her eyes, she saw him inches away from her face, a genuine smile stretched his mouth, which turned into a sly smirk at their eye contact. "I knew you'd taste so fucking amazing."

"Nathan! Stop!" Haley laughed, covering her face with her hands. "You're embarrassing me!"

"What?" Nathan protested. "Do you know how long I've dreamed of tasting you? There's nothing to be embarrassed about, baby. Now that you're mine, I plan on taking care of you in every way possible."

In an attempt to curb further embarrassment and stop him talking, Haley lifted her head to cover Nathan's mouth with hers. It hadn't occurred to her that her taste was still on his lips, his tongue, until Nathan groaned as their mouths opened wider against each other's and she realized his kisses tasted differently to before.

"Fuck, that's so hot, baby," her murmured against her lips.

It was then, as his words stoked the flame inside of her and he ground himself against her, did Haley remember that Nathan was still fully dressed, his body draped over her naked one. "You are wearing way too many clothes over that hot body of yours, Nathan Scott," she whispered.

"Oh really? Well if my girl wants less clothes, we better do something about that."

Haley reached up to unbutton his shirt, marveling as she always did over the strong pectorals and carved abdominals that were revealed with each slip of a small white button. Eight clearly defined bumps ran from under his chest to the edge of his boxer briefs, the indentations deepening when Nathan sucked in his breath at Haley's gentle touch. For a man who no longer played professional basketball, Haley though Nathan's body was still the epitome of athleticism and strength.

Both pairs of eyes were watching Haley's hands as they paused at the buckle of Nathan's belt. There was only the slightest tremble as she worked the leather strap out of the way before popping the button underneath and working the zipper down. Nathan's erection sprung forward through his boxer briefs, as if it was straining to reach the soft warmth of her hands. Easing the elastic waistband down further, Haley sucked in a lungful of air; Nathan was _huge_. He was thick and he was long and, she had to admit, _sexy_. It wasn't a thought she'd had before about that particular part of the male form, but she could appreciate the power and the beauty of Nathan's entire body and his cock was no exception.

Nathan worked his jeans and boxers down his legs and onto the floor, before leaning over to rummage around in a drawer beside Haley's head. Haley lay back, watching as he fumbled with a box, cursing.

"Dammit..."

"Everything alright?" Haley asked, hesitantly.

Nathan dropped back on his heels, still straddling her legs as his fingers fidgeted with the top of the box of condoms. "I can't fucking open them."

Giggling at the sight he made, fully naked and frustrated, Haley reached her hand out. "Here, let me try."

As she worked a fingernail under the sealed wrapping, she quipped, "Didn't think to open them after you finished the last box?"

"There wasn't a last box," Nathan replied as he quickly grabbed the opened box back from her, pulling out the foil package and throwing the rest onto the night stand. "You're the first girl to ever be in this bed."

It was sweet of him to say, and Haley knew that her disbelief showed before she focused on the way he rolled the condom down his thick length. Who knew that could be so sexy?

"I'm serious, baby," Nathan insisted, leaning his forearm down beside her head to carry his weight as his free hand stroked through her hairline. Haley's eyes raked over the delicious dents in his biceps as they held him up, before meeting his serious baby blues. God, the way he looked at her sometimes. "This is my home, my sanctuary... this is the first time I've ever wanted to share that with someone."

"This is also the first time I've ever made love," he smiled at her softly, the butterflies in her stomach setting flight again at the sight of it. "So be gentle with me, Haley James."

She was about to make a witty remark about it being the only first Nathan must have had left, but her breath was needed for the long moan that escaped as Nathan eased himself inside of her. She was so wet that it was a relatively smooth process, but she could feel her inner walls being stretched to accommodate his size.

"Fuck... Halessss..." Nathan hissed out the last syllable as he gently moved with her. "You're so fucking tight... God, baby, you feel so good..."

If seeing him weakened by their kisses was a powerful thing, Haley felt damn near exhilarated watching him grapple for control, moving slowly above her, his eyes clenched shut and every tendon in his body straining. He filled her to the hilt, every stroke hitting deep inside her, building her levels of pleasure to indescribable heights. They moved slowly, tenderly, every inch of their bodies mutually expressing the love and desire they felt for each other, how long they had both wanted this.

Haley lifted her legs to shift positions, stifling a scream as Nathan's cock hit a particularly sensitive spot. When his mouth came down to meet hers, she knew it would be her undoing. As their tongues mimicked the actions of their lower halves, Haley felt herself reach an impossible tightness before she exploded, bucking against him with a scream she couldn't possibly to try and quieten. With a few short, hard thrusts, which simply prolonged her orgasm, she felt Nathan reach his own climax. His groan was as loud as hers and his body tensed over and over again as he emptied himself into the condom inside of her, before collapsing on her body, his head nestled on her shoulder.

The sound of harsh breathing filled the room as they both came down from their highs. Haley could feel the way Nathan's heart was beating against her own chest, their bodies damp with sweat and boneless with post-coital satisfaction. Drowsily, Haley ran her fingers up and down the length of Nathan's back.

"Wow..." She managed to whisper.

She felt Nathan smile against her shoulder, before he dropped a kiss on the side of her neck and lifted his head up. His hair was raven black with sweat, it's typically tamed strands mussed and sticking out at all angles. His eyelids drooped and smirk was slow and lazy. "Yeah," he agreed.

He leaned down and their kiss was slow and tender, gentle and expressive like their lovemaking had been. Haley could have stayed like that forever, but when Nathan eventually sat up to dispose of the condom, she eased herself off his luxurious bed, nakedly stretching languidly like a cat.

"You make quite a sight there, Haley James."

Was it possible to be so aroused after what they had just done? Nathan's naked form and deep, suggestive tone made goosebumps rise along her skin again and her nipples pebbled.

"Where are you going?"

She turned from the door, only mildly self-conscious that she was still fully naked. "I was going to the bathroom."

Nathan laughed. "Geez, Hales, I have my own. Use it," his head indicated towards the door at the other end of the room. "And speaking of... you're moving in to this room now, right?" Because there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep knowing you're just across the hall. It was bad enough before, when I was just dreaming of you in here, but now I've seen the real thing..."

Haley threw her head back, her body filled with careless joy as she laughed. "I dunno, Nathan... I mean, we just had our first date. Don't you think we're moving too fast?" She giggled with as much seriousness as she could manage.

She didn't hear his reply as she stepped through the doorway of the bathroom, her breath shortening into a gasp. "Oh my God... _this_ is your bathroom?"

The Mediterranean-style tiled bathroom stretched out before her, almost as large as Nathan's bedroom itself. Double sinks ran the space of one wall with a large Jacuzzi tub behind them, but it was the shower that piqued Haley's interest. On the far side of bathroom behind a low tiled wall, stretching its entire length, sat Nathan's walk-in shower. A long silver bar stretched along the top of it, making up the shower head that must have contained at least three, if not more nozzles. It was huge and state-of-the-art and Haley couldn't stop staring at it.

She whirled around as Nathan came up behind her. "This is your bathroom?" She repeated.

"Well... yeah... it's the master bedroom, so this is the master bathroom." Nathan frowned, moving past her to throw the condom in the trash.

"Then hell yes I'll move into your room!" She exclaimed, stepping through the space in the tiled wall to enter the shower before turning on the tap. As she'd predicted, water rained down from the silver bar above her, filling the air like a monsoon. "Check out this shower! I'd be happy enough just spending the rest of my life in here!"

As she twirled around with water raining down on her naked body, she saw Nathan lean back against one of the sinks, a devilish smirk on his face. "Oh really? Not moving too fast for you, Haley James?"

The smirk she threw back at him could rival his own. "In this shower, Nathan Scott, I'm happy to move as fast as you want... as fast, and as hard, as you want."

As Nathan moved into the large shower with her, nothing else was heard but their sounds of passion, which echoed around the large, tiled area, the steady stream of running water serving as background noise for the rest of the night.


	36. Chapter 36

**Warning: Boring, filler chapter ahead. I'm not entirely sure why this is even part of the story, but here it is. The next chapter features a bit of a time jump and things will (hopefully) start to wrap up. I think I have maybe five chapters left, provided my characters don't go on crazy tangents. We shall see!**

 **I am so over this chapter but I can't bear to proof read it properly. Sorry for any errors. Also, I have no idea what Tony Kessler is like to work for and I'm pretty sure he's based in LA and not Atlanta, but never mind.**

 **Enjoy**

"Ooh these are nice... these, too. Black cotton... black cotton... Red lace? Damn, I _definitely_ need to see these on..."

"Nathan!" Haley exclaimed, rolling her eyes good-naturedly at him as she bustled about, stepping around his long legs that were stretched out in front of him, taking up most of the space between the end of the bed and the dresser.

"White cotton, blue cotton... white granny panties? Really, Hales?"

"Give me those!" Haley snatched the item from Nathan's hands and avoiding his amused smirk. "Are you really going to comment on _everything_ , Nathan?"

"Aw, come on, Hales. If anyone could make granny panties look sexy, I bet it's you." Nathan laughed, ignoring the dirty look his girlfriend threw him. Glancing back down at the drawer, he raised an eyebrow, slowing pulling a small string attached to a tiny piece of fabric out of the bundle and up for closer inspection. "Wow... Ok, I think I need you to demonstrate which way this goes. Does it cover anything?"

"Urgh!" Haley threw her arms up in frustration, before grabbing the minuscule thong Nathan held out. "That was a gag gift from Taylor. I don't even know why it's still there. Probably because it's so small it got folded up with something else."

"Taylor your sister? Damn, I like her gift-giving style."

With another roll of her eyes, Haley threw the underwear back in the drawer and chose a fresh pair to slip on. She fastened her bra around her back as Nathan watched with mild disappointment when her breasts disappeared from view. He stretched back on the bed, filled with a contentment he didn't think he'd ever felt before as Haley finished getting dressed.

They had spent the rest of the weekend the way they had started it, and Nathan was certain they hadn't even gotten a full night's sleep between the two nights they had spent in bed. They had dozed off between lovemaking sessions, each time Nathan waking to find Haley's bare body pressed against him and unable to stop his hands from wandering. The morning had followed in a similar way until Haley had leapt out of bed to get ready for her meeting at East Charlotte High. Nathan decided it would be a good time to start moving Haley's things into his room - starting with her underwear drawer.

"Ok, how do I look?" As Nathan had recalled the weekend in his head, Haley had finished dressing and turned away from the mirror, her hands still smoothing down strands of her dark brown hair.

"Like you need to get back into bed."

"Nathan!"

He couldn't help it, he had never felt so free before. He was almost lightheaded with how happy he felt and it wasn't just because he had broken his sex drought, but who he had broken it with. Haley James, the love of his It was cliched but it was true - he'd never had sex the way they did over the last two nights. Instead on focusing on what felt good for him, he listened to the moans and cries coming from Haley, eager to do whatever it took to create more of those addictive sounds. He wanted to explore every inch of her body, memorize it so he knew exactly what he had been missing out on for so long. Sleep was overrated, a simple necessity to rest their bodies for more of each other. Nothing had felt so good before.

"You look beautiful, Hales," He smile sincerely. "Very professional, they'll definitely want to hire you." As his eyes roamed her body, his smile morphed into a sly smirk. "Good job covering up your neck, by the way."

Nathan reveled in the way Haley's face turned bright red. He loved how easily she blushed for him, despite how they had spent the last day and a half, including what he had done that required her to layer on foundation over two dark red marks on her neck and shoulder.

"I could kill you for that, Nathan," she scolded him. "You knew I had a job interview today!"

"Hey, at least the others are under your clothes."

She laughed at his smirk before coming around the bed to kiss him. "Are you ever going to get ready for work today?"

"Hmm... I wasn't planning on it, but it looks like I need to get up to buy some more condoms, so I guess I could make a stop into the office while you're out."

He laughed again, ducking a slap to his chest. "Good luck, Hales. I love you."

Her sparkling cocoa eyes creased as she smiled at him from the doorway. "I love you too, Nathan."

* * *

"Dammit! Clay? Clay, get in here!"

Nathan thumped his fist against his desk, shaking the stack of folders beside him. He had been an hour late to work but had only been there a further hour before all traces of his good mood from the weekend had disappeared.

His business partner's head popped through the door. "Jesus, Nate, why so crabby? I thought you had that first date thing with Haley on Saturday night? You find out she's saving herself until marriage?"

Nathan didn't respond verbally, his menacing glower thankfully enough to shut Clay up. "Where the hell did you find that idiot out there?"

"What idiot?"

"That blonde twig out there!" Nathan angrily gesticulated to the desk that was usually occupied by Rachel. A tall, extremely skinny blonde sat there instead, currently pouting into her in the front-facing camera of her phone.

"The temp? Candi?"

"Are you serious? _Candi_?"

"What's wrong with Candi?"

"Everything!" Nathan bellowed, not caring about the volume of his voice. "My desk is a mess, she's put files in the wrong place _and_ she shredded the original contract that was sent over this morning... that was a multi-million dollar contract that needed to be signed by my client, Clay. How am I supposed to ask Gatorade to send another copy through because my secretary shredded the first one?

"Not to mention Antwon Taylor from the Lakers called and asked for 'Nate' and she said she didn't know anyone who worked here with that name and hung up on him... and she asked me to sign her breasts." Nathan finished, collapsing into his plush black leather desk chair with a groan.

Clay's eyes lifted with interest. "Did you do it?"

Nathan just glared at him in return.

"Look, man, I'm sorry, but it was short notice. Rachel literally just had her baby yesterday and we didn't have anyone else. If you looked through the folder I gave you last month, you could have chosen your own secretary," Clay protested.

Lifting the aforementioned folder out of the pile, Nathan spread out the sheets of paper in front of them. "Clay, how come they all have head shots? What the hell kind of agency are these girls from?"

Clay opened his mouth to reply, but Nathan cut him off with an angry sigh. "Ok, look... Candi has to go. Stop hiring girls on how they look - I need a secretary, someone who actually knows what they're doing. Come on, man... Rachel's on leave until December."

Clay at least had the grace to look shame-faced. "Sorry, man... it's just... I've always had Judy as my secretary so I rely on yours for the eye candy."

Nathan couldn't help but laugh. Judy was in her late fifties, a brilliant secretary who didn't put up with any of Clay's shit, but she certainly wasn't the first face you wanted to see when walking into the office every morning.

"Your eye candy is meant to be waiting for you at home, Clay... Quinn? Remember her?" Nathan laughed again at the goofy look on Clay's face. He could never stay mad at his business partner for too long, especially because he understood the allure of a James girl. "Alright, I'll find a new secretary but you've got to grovel to Gatorade; it's the least you can do for me," Nathan demanded as Clay nodded obligingly.

"I'll get right on it... oh, and Nate?" Clay turned to walk out before turning back at the doorway. "How did the date with Haley go?"

Sufficiently calmer than he was a minute ago, Nathan allowed the dopey grin to take over his face. "It was... perfect."

"Atta boy!" Clay congratulated. "Hey dude, you realise we're dating sisters, right?"

Nathan knew what kind of dirty thoughts the other man was having, and with the precision of a former NBA Point Guard, lobbed a screwed up piece of paper at his head. "Get out of here," he chided.

Clay left, laughing, and Nathan turned to the bomb site that was his desk, knowing he no longer had his miracle worker secretary to help him sort his work life out. Despite that, he couldn't help the smile that still lingered on his face at the thought of Haley.

He just had no idea how quickly it was going to be wiped off his face.

* * *

"Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride... ohhh... I've got to keep on moooviiiing..."

Haley's voice sounded loudly within the confines of the small sports car as she sung along to her 80's music playlist. She'd made it in an attempt to lift her spirits as she drove to the youth center; today it was a case of her singing along because that's what her soul wanted to do. It was like how things used to be.

She sat in the driveway, singing along until the end of the song before she switched the car off. Nathan's car sat next to hers and she jumped out, excited that he was home already. Her meeting at the school had gone well, really she couldn't have asked for better. Despite her stomach being in knots and sweat dotting her brow as she pulled into the parking lot, her nerves and anxieties were quickly eased thanks to the friendly staff. The principal, not only impressed with Haley's work at the youth center, had spoken to Principal Turner at Tree Hill High and had been very understanding around the circumstances of Haley leaving her school in LA. The job had been offered to her and after her quick acceptance, she'd spent the day walking the campus and meeting the staff. She'd recognised quite a few kids from the youth center and Quentin had found her to boast about his grades and, more importantly from his perspective, his captaincy of the basketball team.

She couldn't put words to how elated she'd felt on the drive home, how things had turned around and that she felt like her old self again - confident and happy. It was a great feeling.

Bursting through the front door of Nathan's house - _her house, too_ , she reminded herself, she called out for the person she wanted to see the most. "Nathan!"

"In here, Hales."

She was so excited that she didn't hear the tense tone in her boyfriend's voice as she kicked her shoes off, her hands quickly working the buttons of her emerald green shirt.

"I have had the best day ever and I want to celebrate! You have five seconds to get to the bedroom and another ten until I want to be screaming your name," she declared, bursting into the lounge where Nathan's voice had originated from.

"Urgh, 'screaming your name?' That's so pornstar of you, Haley Bob."

Haley stopped cold at the disdainful voice, her shirt opened as wide as her mouth as it dropped open in shock at the sight of a second, unexpected person in the room.

"And a beige bra? Really? _Great_ seduction techniques."

"Taylor? What the hell are you doing here?"

Nathan scurried upright from where he had been sitting in a chair. "Haley, I..."

"Oh what? I can't come over to visit my favourite little sister?" Taylor interrupted, standing as well. Haley looked disgustedly at her older sister's tiny denim shorts, the ridiculous style that was so short, the inside lining of the pockets hung out. A tight pink cropped top emphasised Taylor's chest and bared her flat stomach.

Nathan held his hands up defensively, his eyes still on Haley. "I'm sorry baby, she was here when I got home. I tried to call you but your phone was off..."

Haley shook her head; it wasn't Nathan that owed her an explanation. "We all know that I'm not your favourite sister, Taylor James. Viv gets that dubious victory. So come on, what do you want?"

"What, I have to want something? I can't just come over and see you?"

"Taylor, you've never done something unless you got something out of it. I've been trying to get hold of you since last Christmas and you never replied, and _now_ you're showing up? So yeah, Taylor, tell me what you want. And you can tell me how you found out I was even here in the first place."

"Isn't this were the James sisters go?" Taylor spat back, and Haley could hear the bitterness in her voice. "Move to Charlotte, find a rich, good-looking man and hey! You're set for life. Right?"

"You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"It's what you and Quinn did, didn't you?"

"Ok, that's enough," Nathan stepped forward between the two sisters. ""Taylor, you can't come in here and start talking shit to Haley. I won't let you do that."

"Ooh, a tough guy, huh?" Taylor smirked, and Haley felt a sharp jolt of anger when her sister's eyes roamed suggestively over Nathan's body. "Nice to see Hales finally has a _real_ man... no wonder she can't keep her clothes on."

"At least I wear clothes in the first place," Haley snapped. Taylor's words had reminded her that she was still standing there with her shirt undone. She hastily fumbled with her buttons, her face red with humiliation. It wasn't just that her most annoying sibling had witnessed an embarrassingly personal moment, but Haley hated the way she felt like an immature little kid around Taylor, even with Nathan in the room.

Taylor scoffed. "Don't worry, Haley, Saint Nathan's only got eyes for you, it doesn't matter what I wear... or don't wear. I already tried, trust me. Couldn't shoot me down fast enough"

Haley raised her eyes in fury at her older sister, missing Nathan's deer-in-headlights impersonation. "God, Taylor, you always do this! You just disappear and then turn up whenever it suits you and try to make our lives as miserable as possible in the process! You just disappeared after Mom's funeral, you never returned my calls and now you come here eight months later, as big a bitch as you've always been..."

"Alright, alright..." Nathan stepped forward again. "We're not going to get anywhere with you two yelling at each other." His eyes locked with Haley's and she knew he could see the anger and hurt swirling in them. "Taylor, sit down. Hales, babe..." he gently pushed her into the love seat, wrapping an arm securely around her shoulders. His familiar cologne and warmth emanating from her body calmed her down only infinitesimally. "Ok, Taylor, I know you're here for a reason, but I think Haley would like some answers first. Right?" He looked between the two sisters and Taylor let out a dramatic sigh.

"Ok... fine."

"Ok..." Haley took a deep breath, trying to rearrange her thoughts and tell her brain to stop acting like the whiny little sister she felt like. "Where have you been since Mom's funeral?"

"Atlanta."

"Wait... what? Atlanta?" Haley blinked, surprised that Taylor had been the closest to her, geographically, out of all of her siblings. "Doing what?"

" I've been working as Tony Ressler's personal assistant all year."

"Wait... what?" Haley felt Nathan stir beside her, parroting her earlier words as he sat up. "Seriously? You've been working for Tony Ressler?"

"Who's Tony Ressler?"

Both Nathan and Taylor ignored Haley's question as Taylor replied to Nathan, "Yes. His PA went on maternity leave. I was just a temp but he liked my work and I stayed on. He was really disappointed when I left. I do actually have a brain, you know." Her pointed comment was directed at Haley, who shook her head, confused. "I was good at my job... besides, office work is a nice change from waitressing or tending bar... I figure now I'm over 30, I needed a change."

"Who's Tony Ressler?" Haley repeated, still confused.

"He owns the Atlanta Hawks," Nathan finally explained, which didn't do much to explain anything to Haley, really. She assumed they were a sports team. "I've heard a lot about him, he's apparently really tough on his staff, he has pretty high standards."

Taylor laughed, "He's a softie, really. You just have to get to know him."

"So if you loved the job so much, why did you leave?"

Haley saw Taylor shift uncomfortably in her seat at her question. "The guy I was seeing ended it with me... well, actually, his wife ended it... anyway, I needed to get out of town."

"Taylor! You were having an affair with a married man!"

"I didn't know he was married at first, did I?" Taylor protested, angrily. "God, still the same old self-righteous Haley, aren't you? As if making a move on your best friend's brother when you're supposedly sick and depressed is any better..."

"That's enough," Nathan interrupted. "These comments have got to stop, Taylor. You don't know anything about our relationship... You want our help? You have to calm down.. Now, I have to make a phone call. You two... try not to kill each other while I'm gone."

Haley ignored the roll of Taylor's eyes, meeting Nathan's instead. He nodded supportively and she felt another wave of calm wash over her. As embarrassed as she was that he had seen her behave so childishly, at least Taylor listened to him.

"What's going on, Tay?" Her voice was barely audible in the stillness of the room as Nathan left. "Seriously, what's going on with you?"

Taylor pursed her glossy lips together before speaking. "Mom had this... rule. I had to call her once every two weeks, without fail. Before she died, she said... she wanted me to call Vivian. Every two weeks, just like before... so that's what I've been doing."

"You've been in touch with Vivian, all this time?" Haley asked, incredulously. "Then why was it so hard to return my calls? I needed you, Tay..."

Haley watched as Taylor focussed on an invisible speck on her bare thigh. "I know," she whispered. "Viv told me how you'd been depressed, how you'd been staying with Nathan. She told me how Matt didn't come to help you with clearing out the house, how he was depressed, too. And Drew, coming here..." She looked up with interest. "Is it true that Nathan bought Mom and Dad's house for you?"

Shaking her head, Haley sighed. She and Nathan still hadn't agreed on the future of the James family home in Tree Hill - he was happy to pay the price he and Drew agreed upon whereas Haley insisted they sell it after Thanksgiving.

"It's for all of us, Tay. It's to give us the chance to be together as a family again... but that's not the point. You knew all that and you didn't get in touch?"

"I couldn't... God, Haley, I know you all think I'm some selfish loser, always causing trouble for Mom and Dad, but... I didn't want it to be like that. I just couldn't cope with the idea that you weren't the strong one... Mom always knew you'd be ok because you had a plan and everything worked out for Haley..."

"Oh, Taylor, you know that's not true!" Haley exclaimed, the tears that had filled her eyes finally spilling over. "I've never felt weaker in my life."

"But don't you get it?" Taylor's voice was thick with tears, too. "You come here and you have Nathan and look at you now... and Quinn... God, Quinny leaves the world's most perfect husband and then she ends up with an even more perfect guy? And I'm just Taylor the loser, destroying one relationship after another, can't keep a decent job, can't stay in one place... What the hell was I supposed to say to you when you were depressed?"

The two sisters sat together in silence for a moment until Haley had gathered up the courage to move to sit next to Taylor. Wrapping her arms around the older girl, she said, "You're not a screwup, Tay... It sounds like you've actually had the better year out of all of us... We're all kind of a mess without Mom and Dad, huh?"

Haley felt relieved at the sound of a laugh bursting through Taylor's hiccuping sob. "Yeah, we kind of are," she admitted. "As always, you were right, though, Hales; we needed to stick together, not try and go on about our lives as if nothing had happened. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."

"You're here now," Haley declared with feeling. "And I'm better now, much better."

"I can see that... Nathan, he really loves you, doesn't he? I could see that the second I told him I was your sister. And I'm sure his friend is just as loved up with Quinn. You two were always the ones lucky in love."

Haley scoffed, lightly. "I'd hardly say I was lucky until now, Tay. And I don't think Quinn ever expected to get a divorce so young, either... But Tay, you had to know that being with a married man was going to blow up in your face at some point, right?"

"I know, I know..." Taylor tipped her head back to rest along the top of the couch with a sigh. "I'm trying to make up for it, I'm going to stay away from men for awhile; they're nothing but trouble... Actually, I have a job lined up in Tree Hill. Tony knows someone who needs a PA there, but the job doesn't start until just before Christmas..."

"Taylor, that's great!" Haley exclaimed. "You're so much better off doing that kind of work than working insane hours for crummy tips. You can have a steady income again... are you sure you want to go back to Tree Hill, though? You haven't lived there for years."

Taylor nodded. "Yeah, I think I could be happy there. Mom and Dad would have wanted it, I think... It's just until then, I need some help..."

Her sister's voice turned so hesitant, it made Haley's stomach drop to her toes. While she was glad she'd had the chance to talk, doing favours for Taylor was never a smart idea. "What... what do you need?"

"I have a little bit of savings, from, you know... the deposit that Nathan paid for the house... so I can totally pay you rent for the next few months but I really need a place to stay, Haley Bob. I haven't got anything else lined up and you and Quinny are both here so wouldn't it be a great chance to spend more time with you guys?"

The words came out in a rush, tumbling out after each other. Haley took the time to process them. "You want to stay here? With us?" She clarified. "Until December?"

"Well... I thought maybe at least until Thanksgiving?" Taylor had hope written all over her face as she rushed on. "Vivian told me about your idea for a family holiday and I think it's great, Haley. You know, you're the only one who can bring us all back together again. You've always been the glue of this family..."

"You can't stay here, Taylor."

Both girls turned at the sound of Nathan's voice as he re-entered the room. Haley let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding.

"You can't stay here, but I think we can still help you."

Taylor's face creased into a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Haley and I just got together. It's not exactly ideal timing. We need our privacy. But... I can offer you a job."

"What?" Haley and Taylor's incredulous voices asked at the same time.

"I called Tony Ressler, he gave you a glowing reference," Nathan told Taylor. "I need a secretary, someone who's organised and smart and he said you would be ideal. You're good with clients, professional..."

"Geez, well I could have told you that," Taylor mumbled, but Haley could see her sister looked pleased.

"My current secretary is on maternity leave. The job is yours until Thanksgiving, then you can come to Tree Hill with us. As for a place to stay while you're here..." Nathan handed over a piece of paper. "...That's Clay's address and number. He probably won't offer you a place to stay, either, but he knows some good short-term rentals near the office. He and Quinn can help you out with that; I called you a cab to take you to their place."

Taylor blinked, surprised. Nathan stood there, his arms crossed over his broad chest as Haley sat, her eyes flicking between them both. "What do you say?" He asked.

"I say... you've got yourself a new secretary," Taylor nodded with a smile. "Thank you, Nathan... So I guess you want me to go bother Quinn now? Give you back your _privacy_?"

"Yes please," Haley jumped in.

Nathan laughed. "I expect to see you at work at 8am sharp. I'm counting on you, Taylor."

The brunette gave Nathan a warm, grateful smile before wrapping Haley up in a hug. "Thanks guys. You can count on me, Nathan. I promise. I won't let you down."

"See you tomorrow."

Haley squeezed her sister a little longer before walking her out towards the door. "You'll be ok, Tay?"

"Yeah," Taylor nodded. "I will be, now. Thank you, Haley. Thank you for not turning me away."

"What are sisters for, right?"

"Right... And their sexy boyfriends," Taylor grinned.

Haley stood at the door, watching as Taylor slid into the cab and waved as it drove down the driveway. She shut the door and leaned against it, closing her eyes and resting her head back with a gentle thud.

"Nathan Scott saves the James family again, huh?"

She had spoken without opening her eyes, sensing Nathan's presence. Sure enough, as she opened them again, he stood in front of her, watching.

"I didn't do that for her, Hales. I did that for you... and me, too, I guess. I needed a secretary and it sounds like she's had great experience at the Hawks."

"You did it for me?" Haley arched an eyebrow.

"I know Taylor frustrates the hell out of you, but I know you want her to be ok. That's just who you are, Haley James. Your family is important to you, and you're important to me. This way, everybody wins. And... I kind of see a bit of me in her, too." Nathan shrugged. "She just needed someone to believe in her, right?"

Haley couldn't help but laugh as she wiped away the tears Nathan's sweet words had spilled. She also couldn't deny that the Nathan she knew in high school definitely had his similarities to her older sister. "It is half the battle," she agreed with a smile.

"Anyway... if we're nice to Taylor, maybe she might give you some more 'presents'", Nathan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Haley laughed again, accompanied by the affectionate roll of her eyes that she'd become accustomed to doing when Horndog Nathan made an appearance. Seeing her demeanor relax, Nathan placed a tender kiss on the top of her head. "Come on, baby... you said we had some celebrating to do? Let's get that shirt of yours unbuttoned again and pretend the last half an hour never happened."

Haley raised an eyebrow. "You know, I gave you 15 seconds until I want to be screaming your name."

With a wink and the patented Nathan Scott smirk, he took her hands and led her up the stairs.

"I only need 10."


	37. Chapter 37

**It's been nearly two months since my last update, so for anyone waiting for me to wrap this story up, I'm so sorry for the delay! It's been a pretty busy couple of months, involving a few trips to hospital and a trip to Australia to see Ed Sheeran, amongst other things.**

 **The good news is, this is the last chapter of The Lights That Guide You Home! It took me awhile to decide this, but at the end of the day this story is largely about Haley's journey to recovery and Naley falling in love, and we've covered that. There will definitely be an epilogue after this to include the mandatory time jump to show you just how happily ever after they live, but this chapter basically ensures that you all know that's going to happen. I couldn't find a way to write it so it wasn't so cheesy, and I'm sorry for that. I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

 **As always, all mistakes are mine. At least you won't have to put up with them for much longer!**

 **Here we go...**

"Hey Hales, remember how you were going through your family tree for me in the car yesterday?"

"Mmm?"

"I think I need a refresher."

"There are photos on my wall upstairs," Haley replied, her eyes never leaving the chunks of pumpkin she was cutting. "Have a look at those."

"Yeah, I don't think they're going to help... because I'm pretty sure that you don't have a photo of a one month old baby up there."

Nathan's words made Haley look up in surprise. Her boyfriend stood awkwardly in the kitchen, the small baby that was cradled in his arms. barely straining his biceps, slept peacefully along the length of Nathan's forearms.

The knife that Haley had been holding clattered loudly onto the bench as she stared.

"Woah, careful there, sis." Taylor exclaimed, materialising from nowhere. "Wow, Nathan... you look hot."

"Damn, he sure does," Clay chimed in. "The Daddy look suits you. Don't you think, Viv?"

Haley's eldest sister, who had immediately warmed towards Quinn's new boyfriend, followed Clay into the kitchen to see what the fuss was about. "Mmm-hmm... even my ovaries are squealing."

"Gross, Viv," Taylor pulled a face. "You're like, 50. Aren't you going through menopause or something by now?"

"I'm 39!"

"Guys, sshh! You'll wake the baby!" Quinn hissed, as Haley blinked at the way the kitchen was suddenly filled with all four James sisters.

"Yeah, uh... where did this baby come from again?" Nathan's brow wrinkled adorably and no one made a move to retrieve the small child from his arms, instead crowding closer to take in the sight of the strong, handsome man and the fragile, tiny baby.

"It's JJ's."

"What?! JJ had a kid? With who?" Haley exclaimed in surprise. She hadn't heard much about the brother who was less than a year older than Quinn. In fact, she'd been so busy preparing the family's Thanksgiving feast that she hadn't even realised JJ had arrived.

"Amber," Viv replied, as if it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that their brother was reproducing with his ex wife and mother of his two older daughters.

"Oh my God, he has _got_ to stop having sex with that woman!" It was no secret that Taylor didn't approve of JJ's choice of baby mother.

"Sssh! Taylor! She's in the next room?" Vivian hissed

"It's not his fault, some of us had some big knee-jerk reactions to losing Mom and Dad," Quinn admitted, her hand stroking the baby's tiny cheek. "I left David, Haley got drunk and fell off the stage during karaoke and JJ had unprotected sex with his ex. It happens."

Haley frowned at her sister's examples, but went back to her chopping with a shrug.

"Haley Bob, your man looks so hot holding a baby," Taylor sighed. "Damn, Nathan, if I'd known that, I totally would have taken advantage of all those nights we were in your office together... alone..."

"Taylor!" Vivian admonished in her motherly tone. "Don't talk about Haley's boyfriend like that."

Haley simply turned back to her boyfriend and her sisters, a grin on her face. "Don't worry, Viv, it doesn't bother me. Nathan's desk is super uncomfortable to have sex on, anyway. We wouldn't want Taylor's bony ass to get a stapler lodged in it or something."

Taylor grinned back at her in delight as Vivian looked on in shock. It was no secret that Taylor loved to rub people the wrong way, little barbed comments intended to rile her loved ones up... but over the last few months, Haley had discovered that what her sister loved most was receiving comebacks as provoking as her own. As Haley had relaxed into her contented, happy life in Charlotte with Nathan, she'd had less desire to get angry and snippy towards Taylor. She had started to tease her older sister back, delighting in the way Taylor's face would light up. It was more than a truce; it was an understanding of how Taylor operated, an acceptance, an unexpected gift that Haley had cherished.

Once again, she had Nathan to thank for the improvement in their relationship. Taylor, she'd learned, had been a smart and efficient secretary, fiercely guarding Nathan as protectively as Rachel had. Haley had heard, from Quinn, through Clay, that she'd hauled a rising tennis star out of Nathan's office by her hair when the prospective client wanted to give Nathan more than just 10 percent of her earnings. Haley had never truly realised how many times her boyfriend got propositioned in his new line of work, and was truly touched by the way Taylor had, in her own way, tried to protect their relationship. It had certainly helped Haley relax into bantering with her sister.

"Well..." Vivian paused, clearly prepared to break up a fight and surprised when it ended in smiles. "She's not wrong... Nathan, it suits you. You might find yourself holding on of your own one of these days."

Haley involuntarily gasped for a breath that was bigger than the air around her could provide, never more grateful to see one of her brothers than when JJ came into the room asking where his daughter was, causing a fuss as his sisters demanded to know the status of his relationship with his ex wife and all about the new addition to the family that Nathan was still holding in his arms.

It wasn't as if Haley didn't want children - she was a teacher, after all, and she adored children. She'd always dreamed of having her own one day. It was just for the first time in her life, her dream children had a father. They had a very sexy, dark haired, blue eyed father who seemed simultaneously intimidated yet enchanted by holding small babies.

This moment in her parents' old kitchen, surrounded by her siblings, hadn't been the first time Haley had seen Nathan with a baby. The weekend Taylor had arrived, Nathan and Haley had gone to visit Rachel and her baby, a girl they had named Justice. One moment Haley was talking to Dean about something, the next she'd turned to see Nathan in the oversized armchair with Justice in his arms. Haley had stared, unable to move as she watched the pair. Nathan's finger had traced the dark whorls of hair on the baby's tiny head and down to her cheek, where it looked comically large against the newborn's roundness. Justice's hand had then reached out to grab the offending finger and Nathan had stared down at her with a wide-eyed awe. Haley was certain she'd never experienced a feeling like it, and it was certainly a moment she knew she'd never forget. As they'd prepared to leave, Nathan had reached out and pretended to bite the small fist that was still reaching out for him, despite being in her mother's hands. Haley had been so enchanted that she'd missed the smug, knowing look on Rachel's face, who'd known instantly that everything her boss had wanted for his future was packaged inside the small brunette beside him.

Haley came back to the present as she sensed a warmth behind her and saw Nathan's hands leaning against the counter on either side of her. The formerly filled kitchen had quickly emptied, except for the two of them.

"So, I look hot with a baby, huh?" His husky voice sounded in her ear, igniting another shower of sparks down her spine. Haley turned around in the small space between the counter and Nathan's hard body, leaning back to raise her eyebrows at him.

"You know you look hot with anything," she replied, not having the presence of mind to keep his endearing ego in check right at this moment.

Nathan's face softened, a gentle smile spreading across his face. "You know, I'd like to have kids someday."

"A little boy with your eyes." Haley could picture it perfectly. It wasn't, after all, the first time she had.

"No," he disagreed. "A little girl... just like you."

It was insane, the way this man made Haley feel after so many months of living together, being together. Her knees buckled and she braced herself against the counter beside Nathan's hands.

"Just so you know..." she drawled, half teasingly in an attempt to diffuse the thick atmosphere that had built around them, "I'm pretty old fashioned; I want to be married before I have kids."

The sound of the doorbell shot unexpectedly through the house, but Nathan didn't flinch. A slow smirk spread across one side of his face, lifting his cheek and crinkling his eyes.

"Good to know."

He released his hands, allowing Haley to go and answer the door. She could feel the flames of her blush spreading down her neck and chest. God, what had happened to her? Was this how love was supposed to feel like? Was it ok to make half jokes about marriage and kids with your boyfriend, even if you'd only been together for four months? She pressed her hands to her heated cheeks, willing some sort of composure as she pulled open the front door.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Hales!"

Startled, Haley's eyes widened in shock as she took in the couple standing in front of her. Lucas pulled her in for a hug that was as familiar as anything else inside her family home, before Brooke transferred the large bowl of Jello salad from one arm to another in order to embrace her as well.

"What are you guys doing here!"

Brooke rolled her eyes, dramatically. "Your best friend here decided it might be nice for us to surprise his mom for Thanksgiving... except he didn't realise that she and Keith had gone away and aren't even in Tree Hill."

"Is it alright if we celebrate with you, Hales?" Lucas asked.

"Of course! Of course!" Haley stepped inside to let them in. "You guys are family! You're always welcome."

They moved back into the kitchen so Haley could finish off dinner; armed with her mother's recipe book, she had spent the last day preparing everything she had grown up with in order to recreate a perfect James family thanksgiving.

"Wow, Hales... got enough food there?"

Haley shrugged off Lucas' teasing as he surveyed the spread of food. "This is the first time my entire family are here for Thanksgiving. Every sibling, every niece and nephew... even last year they weren't all here, and Mom died two weeks later. I want this to be special."

"It will be," Nathan replied, softly, kissing her temple. Haley felt the familiar comfort of his warmth as she leaned against him.

"Uh... so there was something I wanted to talk to you guys about," Lucas' hesitant voice spoke up. Sensing the change in her best friend's voice, Haley turned to give him her attention; Nathan doing the same.

"What's up?"

"So, I've written this manuscript and it's nearly ready to send to my editor..."

"Oh my gosh, Luke, already? You just finished your last book this year!" Haley interrupted, surprised at the speed at which Lucas had been writing.

"Well, yeah, that's the thing... um... it was really easy to write. I guess you can say I didn't have to think about it too much."

"What did you do, Luke? You want us to know in case you get your ass thrown in jail for plagiarism or something?" Nathan teased.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Just give it to them, Luke."

Haley waited expectantly and uncertainly as Lucas pulled out a thick stack of papers, roughly bound together, and handed it over. Nathan's long arms reached for it first, and he frowned as he saw the first page.

"Look, Luke... I know I don't know a lot about books and stuff but it's probably not a good idea to have a typo on the first page." He turned the stack of pages around. "Naley's Story? Haley doesn't start with an N..."

"It's _Naley_... as in _Nathan_ and _Haley_ ," it was Brooke's voice that replied, in an obvious tone. "It's your couples name. It's about both of you."

"Our... what?

Haley moved closer, peering over Nathan's shoulder to read as he idly flipped to a page.

 _Nathan eases into the room, muting the sound of raucous laughter and teenagers well on their way to drunkenness by closing the door. It clicks softly, a draft catching the edge of his D12 poster that had come unfixed from the wall._

 _His bedroom looks undisturbed and he's thankful Tim or Brooke haven't yet come for his stash of liquor hidden in the drawers. He needs it for himself, a long day of his pushing his tired body past any limitations, being belittled and jibed in private but gloated about in the public arena of Dan Scott's annual Kiss His Ass jamboree. Nathan was tired of it; he was tired of all of it. The self-doubt that swirled in the pit of his belly, the anger that fueled him to beat his father, the games he had to play just to be Nathan Scott. Now his dad's other son was everywhere he turned, on the basketball team, making eyes at Peyton..._

 _It's all too much and Nathan knows he needs something to soften the edges before he explodes. The vodka in the drawer._

 _He slides the drawer open now and pushes aside a blue Fila sweatshirt in order to get to the tall bottle that's hidden underneath. The half-full bottle clanks against something else and Nathan frowns, remembering something he had thrown in there earlier._

 _The small rectangular tin sits further inside the draw, resting on Nathan's favorite Celtics top. His index finger pries at the opening and it opens with a soft popping sound, like a quiet gust of a sigh. The envelope sitting on top isn't sealed and Nathan lifts it out of the tin to reveal a couple of pencils, an eraser and eye drops sitting underneath. The card inside is decorated with a curly H; the lavender colour of the stationery is calming._

 _Nathan's calloused fingers open the card and he immediately identifies the writing - looping, feminine words that he's used to seeing at the top of his essays or practice tests, short words of encouragement. That's all he gets from Haley James; never anger or condescension, pity or impatience, just cocoa brown eyes that watch him as she rests her cheek against her fist on the table between them, a quiet suggestion or warm praise falling from her lips._

 _Nathan stares at the words for a long time, unfamiliar with the warm feeling that spreads through the frosty tunnels of his veins and clears his head. He slips the card into his pocket and closes the drawer._

 _He no longer needs a drink._

Being the faster reader, Haley had finished before Nathan and watched her boyfriend closely as he came to the end of the page.

"Nathan?" Her voice was soft and inquiring

"Wow..." Nathan's eyes were still on the pages in front of him. "It's like you were there."

"Well, I kind of was," Lucas admitted with a shrug.

"No, I mean... inside my head. I remember that day..." Nathan trailed off, his eyes now on Haley. "Your card... I still have it..."

"On your computer screen," Haley finished for him, gently. "I've seen it."

"Luke... this is..."

"Look, I'll change the names, do whatever you want me to," Lucas interrupted in a rush, and Haley knew that he was worried that Nathan wouldn't be happy with his personal life being turned into a novel. "It's just... you guys, your love story is epic. It's unpredictable and unconventional and I really think it deserves to be told... and I'd like to be the one to tell it. I think my editor is going to love it."

Haley grinned, elbowing Nathan in the side. "Hear that? We're epic."

Nathan smiled back, letting them know that he had no reservations with Lucas' story. "It's incredible, Luke. I can't believe you were inspired by us, that you want to write a whole book about us."

His brother let out a rush of relieved air as Nathan continued, "You don't need to change a thing... I think our love story is perfect as it is."

Haley felt the glow of Nathan's gaze and she reached up to run her hand against his warm cheek.

"Well, the title is just a working title," Lucas explained. "I need to think of something else that sums up your story."

The kitchen fell silent for a moment, until Nathan slowly spoke up. "You know... I really liked that song Hales sung when we were in Seattle, you know, the one you said reminded you of us?"

"Fix you, by Coldplay?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, that's the one. It is kind of like us, isn't it?"

Haley nodded, too. She had connected to the lyrics as they had been driving to soundcheck, suddenly having a newfound appreciation for the song Chris Martin had written for Gwyneth Paltrow after her father died.

"How does it go again?" Lucas asked

" _Lights will guide you home... and ignite your bones_ ," Haley sung, softly. " _And I will try to fix you_."

As her voice faded off, Lucas' face looked deep in thought. "I don't really want to use the title of the song for the title of the book," he said. "It's too obvious. I need something else."

"What about _The lights that guide you home_?" Nathan suggested.

"The lights that guide you home," Lucas repeated, nodding slowly to himself. "I like it."

"I love it," Haley beamed proudly at her boyfriend. "You're like my light."

"And you're like my home," Nathan's lips tenderly touched Haley's forehead. She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of him, mingling with the Thanksgiving meal she had prepared and the familiar smells of her childhood home.

"Right, now that that's sorted," Brooke spoke up, opening the oven door, "Haley, your turkey smells _amazing._ When do we eat?"

* * *

"Uncle Nathan! Lift me up!"

"No! It's my turn! Lift me up, Uncle Nathan!"

"Uncle Nathaaaaan!"

It wasn't as if Nathan had spent the last 27 years of his life actively avoiding children, it was just that he wasn't the sort of person children naturally gravitated to. Today, however, had been a surreal experience. After finally offloading JJ's new baby daughter back to her parents, he found himself surrounded by his older two daughters. In an attempt to entertain them, he had lifted the 5 year old up in the air with one arm, prompting the 4 year old to beg him to do the same with her. It had become their new favourite game, "Uncle Nathan" their new favourite person.

He didn't want to admit it, but they were kind of cute and he was kind of enjoying himself.

Being with the James family was a completely new experience for him. They had this ease with each other, that no matter what horrible things they had said to each other, or what they had or hadn't done, it was all in the past, instantly forgiven simply because they were family. It was noisy and chaotic and messy, but everyone was genuinely enjoying each other's company. It was like no family gathering Nathan had ever experienced.

"Alright, girls. That's enough." Drew's deep voice cut through the high pitched squealing and the two young girls immediately stopped jumping around Nathan. "Go and help Aunt Haley set the table for dinner."

As they promptly hurried off, Drew turned towards Nathan with a nod. Nathan couldn't help but swallow nervously; despite the agreement they had made over buying the house, Nathan hadn't forgotten how Drew had treated his youngest sibling, nor how he had threatened the older man with physical violence.

"I have something I want to give you," Drew began, reaching into his pocket before handing Nathan a folded slip of paper. With a frown, Nathan opened it to read its contents.

"This is a cheque for the deposit I paid for the house," Nathan stated, his confusion evident.

Drew nodded. "Vivian and I talked about it and... and, well, I was wrong to accept your offer in the first place"

Nathan remained silent, simply quirking an eyebrow. He knew enough about Haley's oldest brother to know that admitting he was wrong was probably not something he did often.

"I'm not going to lie, Nathan. The money really helped a lot of us out. Things were tight and we thought selling the house would be the logical answer to a lot of problems. I was simply trying to do what I could to help the people that I love... and I understand now that that's all you were trying to do, as well.

"My eldest son has a full scholarship to college, and Vivan's has had financial assistance, too. It's made a huge difference, and... we'd like to repay you for the money that you initially gave us. It's helped Matthew have some time off work when he needed it, Quinn open up her gallery in Charlotte, and Taylor... well, you've done more for that girl than anyone ever expected."

"Look, Drew, I appreciate the gesture, but..." Nathan trailed off, unsure how he wanted to finish his sentence.

"Please, Nathan. Consider your deposit a loan, which has now been repaid back."

"What about selling the house?"

A slight smile appeared on the older man's lips, softening his stern features. He glanced towards the living room where Haley was directing her nieces, setting up three huge tables in the available space. "We have decided not to sell it. This is a great home with lots of memories and Vivian thought it would be nice to have a place where we could all get together for a family holiday once a year. It has been good getting everyone together, especially since the last time we were all here... Haley was right."

Nathan grinned with amusement. "She usually is."

The two men shared a knowing laugh. "Have you told Hales about keeping the house?" Nathan asked.

"Not yet," Drew shook his head. "I thought we'd save that surprise for dinner."

Nathan nodded, his mind on something he wasn't sure if he had the nerve to say out loud. Knowing that he probably wouldn't have a better opportunity, he took a deep breath for courage. "Thank you for this, Drew," he began, indicating the check as he slipped it into his pocket, "but there's actually something else I wanted to ask you..."

As Drew waited expectantly, Nathan took another deep breath. He could feel the sweat starting to dot across his brow and the way his heart started to thump harder against his ribs. "I, uh, I heard that you inherited your mom's engagement ring..."

To Nathan's surprise, a smile stretched across Haley's brother's face, wider than Nathan had ever seen on the man. "I was wondering when you were going to mention that."

"Uh... really?" Nathan startled. The last thing he had expected was a smile from Drew over this particular topic.

"Look Nathan, I know that we didn't exactly meet on the best of terms, but it's evident that you love my little sister and care for her deeply. I have never seen her so happy, and that's even before the terrible year we've had. I know that your relationship with Haley is a relatively new one, but you don't strike me as the sort of man who messes around when he knows what he wants."

Bolstered by Drew's words, Nathan nodded in agreement. "I'm not saying I'm going to propose tomorrow, it's just... I know it's going to be Haley."

Drew nodded, too. "I'm sure there was a time where my father expected Haley to end up with your brother..." He trailed off as the pair's eyes turned to Lucas, who was in the corner of the room, showing Brooke a photo album. Nathan couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the thought of his Haley with Lucas. "But I know that if he saw how you've cared for her over these last months, he would thoroughly approve of her choice in partner... you're a good man, Nathan. Treat her well."

Nathan exhaled, loudly and with relief. He knew that Drew's approval would be the hardest to get, but it would be important to Haley.

"I'll arrange to get the ring to you as soon as we get back to Florida," Drew continued. The two men shared a nod, and with a final clap on the back, Drew walked off, leaving Nathan standing in the corner of the room, surveying the chaos of the James family together.

It was something he knew he wanted to be a part of

* * *

Later, much later, when the food had been devoured and cleared away, and bodies with full stomachs sprawled across furniture, Nathan found Haley outside in the backyard, staring out at the darkness beyond.

"There you are, beautiful," he greeted her, moving to stand behind her and pulling her into the warmth of his chest. Over the last couple of months, Haley had started treating him like her own personal heater, and he relished any opportunity to have her small body pressed against his. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just thinking..."

He waited, tilting his head to gaze at her profile as she stared out into the backyard.

"I used to spend so many nights standing out here, wishing, praying that I could somehow bring my dad back, or that I could somehow cure my Mom... and when she died last winter I used to come out here and wish the cold would just shock me into feeling again. Or I could wash away all the pain we'd suffered through."

Nathan's eyes followed Haley's, and he could just make out the the inky contours of the swimming pool in front of them. In his mind's eye, he could see Haley, her face blank and despondent like the day she had arrived in Charlotte, falling into the icy water, her hair floating around her like seaweed. The image caused Nathan to pull her body, soft and warm, closer to his.

"I know things won't always be easy, and it doesn't mean I don't miss them _so much,_ but I feel... complete." Haley lifted her head up towards him. "You make me feel strong, you make me feel brave. I don't feel like that insecure, lost little girl anymore... I never imagined that I could be here, in Tree Hill, with my family and be so... so, _happy_."

"You've saved me too, you know," Nathan pointed out, gently combing her hair away from her face with his fingers. "You always believed in me, even when I thought no one else would; even when I didn't believe in myself."

The both smiled, and Nathan knew that Haley was thinking about the note that was still taped to his computer screen, 8 years after he had found it in her 'box of tricks'.

"We make quite the pair, don't we, Nathan Scott?" Haley smiled. "I love you."

Nathan felt his heart tapping a quick rhythm against his rib cage. Everything he had been searching for was cuddled up to him in his arms. Haley was such a huge part of his past, but she was going to be an even bigger part of his future. He didn't know how he got so lucky.

"I love you too, Haley James. Always."

"And forever."


	38. Epilogue

**So, here we are - the last installment of _The Lights That Guide You Home_. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say here; it's been a massive deal for me to get to this point and this story has lived in my head for about a year and a half. I never actually thought it would end! As cliched as this may be, I need to say the biggest thank you to everyone who has read, followed and liked this story. I can't even tell you how much it means to me and your reviews and support has been the only thing that has pushed me to commit and keep writing! I've been insanely lucky to get to know some extraordinarily awesome people on this site who have helped me along this process and I'm insanely grateful to them for putting up with me and all of my uncertainty. **

**If you've enjoyed this fic, please follow me so you know when I start writing something else again - I've got so many half-written (smutty) one-shots that want to be finished, and I have two multi-chapter stories in my head, fighting to work out which is going to be written first.**

 **Thank you again! xx**

EPILOGUE

Haley stood on her tiptoes, trying to see over the crowd of passengers streaming past her as they disembarked at Charlotte Douglas Airport. Not for the first time, was she thankful that the passenger she was searching for stood taller than most, his dark, raven-coloured hair visible above the other heads. As she always did when she laid eyes on him, Haley's face broke out into a beaming smile and her heart beat faster as she was greeted with a smile just as wide as hers.

"Hey, baby, welcome home!"

Nathan strode up to her, engulfing her in his strong arms. His duffel bag swung off his arm to hit her as they embraced, but Haley couldn't feel anything but the warmth emanating from his body.

"Mmm... I missed you, Hales," he gushed, as she stretched up to cover the plentiful inches between them until she could kiss Nathan on the lips.

"I missed you, too. We all did," Haley replied as Nathan shouldered his bag again, grabbing her hand in his as they headed out towards the carpark. "The place is total chaos right now."

"I can't wait to see everyone. Jamie isn't too mad that I wasn't there this morning?"

"Not at all, you know he understands your job, Nathan. It's not his fault he happened to be born the day after the NBA draft. He knew you had to be in New York last night... plus, he's so excited for Quentin. He hasn't been able to stop talking about him, it's amazing."

"What's amazing is how Quentin spent four years at college getting his teaching degree before declaring himself eligible to play in the NBA," Nathan smirked down her

"Yeah, well... he's not the first NBA superstar to succumb to the dark side," Haley shot back with a smirk of her own. She couldn't deny how proud she had been of her former pupil who had gone on to study English Education and had yesterday been the number two draft pick in the NBA.

Nathan dug through his bag before pulling out the white and blue jersey of the Philadelphia 76ers with FIELDS emblazoned on the back. "At least Jamie is going to like his birthday present."

"I can't believe he's 5" Haley smiled, fondly. "He's such a great kid."

"He takes after his mom" Nathan winked at her.

They reached their car, Nathan moving to open the passenger side door for Haley before throwing his bag in the back and settling into the driver's seat. As they pulled out of the airport carpark, Haley reached over to grab Nathan's hand where it rested over the gear stick, feeling his fingers squeeze the gold band around the fourth finger of her left hand.

She had sobbed uncontrollably when, one morning shortly after their first Thanksgiving together, Nathan had rolled over in bed and announced that he could love her forever and why couldn't forever start today. Her mother's sapphire and diamond engagement ring had been slid onto her finger immediately, with Haley seeing no reason why she wouldn't spend the rest of her life with man she had only been with a few months.

Thoughts of her mother not being there to fuss over her and her father not walking her down the aisle were gloomy spots on an otherwise stress-free wedding, and all of her friends and siblings had played their part to ensure she had the perfect wedding. Under the archway in the Tree Hill gardens, where Lydia and Jimmy James had married 40 years before, Haley vowed to love Nathan until the end of time, and her to love her always and forever. One month later, after putting down the exhaustion, missed periods and bloating to wedding stress and indulgent honeymoon food, the newlyweds sat around a small plastic stick and watched two pink lines appear, confirming that Haley was pregnant with their first child.

The pregnancy itself had been non-eventful; Peyton had painted a blue basketball mural in the nursery, Vivian had visited, bringing with her mountains of baby clothes and advice on things like breast pumps and baby wearing. Quinn had documented Haley's growing bump in a series of black and white photos and Nathan had befriended the local convenient store owner thanks to his frequent trips to satisfy his wife's late night cravings. When Haley's contractions came, Nathan had stood beside her, gritting his teeth through the strength of her hand squeezing his and shed tears with her when their baby boy arrived into the world.

It had only been after Haley had held their beautiful son in her arms did the weight fall on her, reminding her that her depression was something she would never truly get rid of. This time, though, she had Nathan's arms to hold her when the tears wouldn't stop, her brothers and sisters happy to answer the phone at all hours when she just wanted to talk about how much she missed her mom and dad or how hard it was functioning on such little sleep because for the first two months, James Lucas Scott refused to sleep unless he was being held. And day by day, the weight slowly lightened and lifted, until once again, Haley realized that her head was no longer foggy and dark, that she was following her routine and life had become easier again. She felt how loved she was, not only by her friends and siblings, but by her husband and son. She felt like herself again.

Their second pregnancy had been another smooth one, and Haley and her daughter had both been fussed over and thoroughly spoiled by the men in their lives. Jamie had loved the chance to help out, following his dad around helping to heat bottles or rushing to pick baby Lydia up to stop her crying. Although she frequently missed, and would never stop missing, her mother's advice and her dad's sense of humor, Haley had never been happier.

"Where's that beautiful head of yours at?"

Nathan's voice snapped Haley out of her reverie. She turned her head to him with a smile. "I was thinking about the last five years."

Nathan's nod told her that he understood more than her words had expressed. "You know, every time I'm at that airport, I think of that woman I picked up six years ago, with the pale face and in that baggy sweatshirt... how much I owed her for changing my life. How I would do anything to help change hers. Thank you for loving me, Haley. Thank you for my son… and my daughter."

Tears filled her eyes at her husband's words. Haley swallowed the emotion down her throat. "I love you, Nathan Scott.

He picked their conjoined hands from the gear shift and kissed her knuckles, gently. "I love you, too, Haley James Scott."

* * *

Haley could hear the excited shouts and laughter before they even pulled up to their house, the bright yellow and orange bounce house moving rhythmically as energetic kids jumped around.

She got out of the car and surveyed the yard, sensing Nathan's strong figure behind her. Jamie and his school friends, Chuck and Madison, were jumping on the bouncy castle while Clay and Quinn stood in front of the inflatable, throwing balloons at them. In a small paddling pool filled with plastic balls, 1 year old Lydia sat excitedly clapping her hands under the watchful eye of Jenny Jagielski, who had taken it upon herself to babysit the small toddler during the festivities. Peyton and Jake stood by the table piled with food, with Lucas and a heavily pregnant Brooke, talking about the other Scott couple's decision to move back to North Carolina. A long banner stretched between two tall, sturdy trees, proclaiming _HAPPY 5_ _TH_ _BIRTHDAY, JAMIE!_

It was a picture perfect sight. There was a warmth spreading throughout Haley's veins, a contentment that filled her soul. This was her life, this was her family. Nathan moved to stand beside her and he smiled at her with all of the love and adoration he felt for her. Haley smiled back.

"It's great to be home."

THE END


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